cannot really see why the influence of fashion should not operate on all classes of handicraftsmen. At present war is a fashion, embargo is a fashion, and no trade is both a fashion and a cry; and why should not statesmen, who set these fashions, abide by the consequences, like the Manchester-men, who, after invading Spital Fields, have at last been conquered by the manufacturers of Georgian broad-cloth and Salisbury flannels. Every dog has his day-and although the sight might be melancholy, it would yet be edifying, to see a Secretary of State as much out of bread as a dealer in sarsnet; or, when quarter-day came, desired to go to his parish!

Dec. 17.

I am, Sir, yours,

A MODERN REFORMER.

A SKETCH,

TAKEN IN ST. STEPHEN'S CHAPEL.

[From the same.]

O! on each side, through every gaping door,
To Bellamy's the frighten'd Members pour,
While Abbot thunders, "Order on the floor."
In vain the Speaker adds (so keen the race is,)
"Gentlemen will be pleas'd to take their places.”
What is the cause of all this dreadful pother?
Grave Senators thus jostling one another!
Has Hawkins Browne begun to sing so soon,
And whine his ditty to an old psalm-tune;
Is Craufurd offering up an invocation,
And spouting forth a prayer to save the nation?
Does flowery Vyse pour out, of tropes, a score,
With metaphors, we never met before?
Does Montague renew his Latin jest,
And end with saying-" I forget the rest!"
Brulgruddery Browne enforce the standing law,
And swear, by Jasus! " strangers must withdraw ?"
Or Sainted Duigenan meekly state his reason,.
Why every Papist should be hang'd for treason;

And

And in his moody madness gravely tell you,
The Pope had got into Lord Grenville's belly?
No! 'tis the silky Castlereagh, whose strain
Once heard, no soul would wish to hear again;
Drawling, he drags along a wearied team
Of hacknied sentences on every theme;
Like a dull boy, who listlessly rehearses
The self-same prosing round of nonsense-verses:
"Free to avow," and "willing to express,"
Prompt to admit," and ready to confess,"
Frankly concedes what fell from t' other side,
But could not think the principle applied."
"To the existing plea" (he did lament)
He could not yield unqualified assent;
But had, however, reason to rejoice

"

"The measure claim'd the sanction of his voice;"
While without end flows on his endless gabble,
With see-saw air he swings from bench to table;
The drowsy tinklings of his intonation
Keeping due time with ev'ry dull vibration;
Then waves his head-piece, dormitory deep!
That serves to rock his baby-wit to sleep;
And wheeling round he begs to state, once more,
What he had stated twenty times before:
Again, alas! our wearied ears are treated
With repetitions stupidly repeated;

And now he rings the never varying chimes,
And fills the void of sense with synonymes;

As "notwithstanding, likewise, also, therefore,"
"Nevertheless, however, why," and "wherefore ;"
While every period, trickling to an end,

n

Echoes with late Right Honourable Friend:"
And then we have " the country's proud resources,”
"Our navy, army, and colonial forces:"

The wisdom in transporting British pelf,
To wheedle Europe to defend herself;

Our wealth, and strength, and sure, before he closes,
All the grand items of the Bed of Roses.
In fine, be would aver, no Member candid
Denied, that Pitt did more than ever man did.
The chiming rumble of his senseless strain,
With dulcet ding-dong, lulls the drowsy brain ;

Till, from the mazes of his own confusion,
Time winds the Noble Lord to a conclusion.
The cadence dies upon the jaded ear,

And roaring Fuller bellows, Hear! hear! hear!
Thus ebbs the shallow tide, such eloquence!

A simpering stream of any thing-but sense.
Dec. 18.

ARREST OF TWO PERSONS, SUPPOSED TO BE

SPIES,

AND CALLING THEMSELVES PROFESSORS FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF COPENHAGEN.

[From the same.]

Copy of a Letter, sent express from the Collector of the Customs at Yarmouth to the Secretary of the Treasury.

SIR,

BE

Yarmouth, Dec. 22, 1807. E pleased to communicate to the Lords Commissioners of His Majesty's Treasury, that I have detained here two persons, stating themselves to be Professors of the University of Copenhagen; they were landed late last night from a Swedish vessel. The one writes his name O. P. Q. Rosencrantz, Z. P. Professor of Zoology. The other X. Y. W. Guildenstern, L. L. D. C. P. Doctor of Laws and Professor of Chemistry. I apprehend these are not their real names.

They have produced a passport, signed M—]—ve, as well as a letter, purporting to have been written by the First L-d of the Ay, and is directed to the said Professors Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, with an addition to each of their titles, of A. S.-S.; the meaning of which they say they do not understand, but which probably is intelligible to His Lordship, as well as to the First L-d of the T- -y. His Lordship in his letter fully assures them of the protection of the Government, and holds out the most advantageous

offers,

offers, if they can escape over to this country, and bring away all the valuable manuscripts, books, records, archives, and curiosities of every description, belonging to the University, and more particularly all State Papers, and private confidential dispatches of Foreign Ministers, that they may be made public, previous to the meeting of Parliament on the 21st of next January.

A small part only of their luggage is now in the Custom-house, consisting of some few books, papers, &c. and a large case of stuffed birds and animals, which they solemnly protest are intended as presents to the several Members of His Majesty's Cabinet; each article is inscribed with the name of some one of those Noble Persons, as their Lordships will perceive by the list enclosed, which I have copied verbatim. The names affixed to the birds, &c. the Professors say, are Latin. I therefore thought it most advisable to ascertain that fact, and applied to Pater Suorum, the Master of our Grammar-school, who kindly undertook to translate the names into-English, according, as he informs me, to the system of Linnæus.

As it was not permitted to the French Gentleman who lately landed here (calling himself K-g of France) to withdraw from the Custom-house even a night-cap, clean shirt, or a pair of stockings, I hope their Lordships will approve of my conduct in having detained the Professors and their baggages, as I shrewdly suspect them to be Spies, transported to this country for the purpose of assassinating or blowing up the present vigorous Administration.

I thought it my duty to examine two of the stuffed animals very minutely. The Head of the Goose was perfectly empty; but the moment I made an incision with my knife into the head of the Monkey, there issued forth a most foul stench, quite putrid and rotten. The whole of this little animal is made up of combus

VOL. XI.

R

tibles,

tibles, and must have been intended to do mischief in this country at a moment when it is blest with a government of vigour, which has already contributed so highly to the honour, welfare, and security of His Majesty's dominions.

I hope their Lordships will be satisfied that I have done no more than my duty. And with the utmost respect, I remain, Sir,

Your most obedient and devoted humble servant,
JOHN TAKEFEE,

Collector of the Customs, Yarmouth.

To the Secretary of the Treasury, &c. &c,
Treasury Chambers, Whitehall.