some light vessels manned with harpooners, to wound and irritate them; a practice perfectly safe; for should any one of the whales be accidentally killed by excessive fatigue or wounds, it will be easy to restore him to life with a little of the Cheltenham powder. The only objection which I see to this plan is, the difficulty of procuring the necessary supply of whales in time; but, considering the proximity of Iceland and Greenland, the great scenes of the whale fisheries, to the Baltic, I think that objection would not be decisive. Yours,

"THE country, I think, 's in a very bad way,

Says Grenville and Petty, and Tierney and Grey;

"It will never be better, I'll venture to say, Till the ins are all outs, and we've gabsolute sway.” "Oh, if that be the case," cried a wag who was near, "The country indeed 's in a bad way I fear;

God help us I pray, for aye and amen,

If we never get better till

you

're in again!"

Oct. 30.

ANON.

THE RIDICULE.

INTELLIGENCE EXTRAORDINARY!!!

MR. EDITOR.

[From the same.]

I HASTEN to send you the following early and important intelligence, which I have received express from a friend of mine at Paris; and which will, no

doubt,

doubt, be read with avidity by all ranks of people in this country.

Know, then, Sir, that ever since Napoleon understood from his immaculate consort, that the belles intended to lay aside the ridicule, and to betake themselves to the corners of their pocket handkerchiefs for holding their cash, he has been most weightily occupied in devising a mode by which he might ennoble that term to the highest rank among words, thereby making it palpably evident to the whole world, that, whatever may become the object of his regard, however worthless or insignificant, can immediately be raised by him to the highest pinnacle of grandeur. The project is without delay to be submitted to the consideration of the Legislative Body, who will, as in all other cases, be previously commanded as to the manner of carrying on the mockery of a pretended free discussion. He has already, it is said, prepared the decree, that no time may be lost when the deliberation is finished; and copies of the same have been handed about among the first circles at Paris, that bear all the marks of authenticity. I have translated the one that my friend sent me, which I now enclose you for insertion in your Paper, remarking that I have left a few of the words as they are in the original text, as they could not be put into an English dress, without losing their force and spirit.

I am, &c.

THE DECREE.

R.

WE, Napoleon, the bombastic and tyrannical, by the Grace of God, Usurper of the Crown of France, to the exclusion of the legitimate family; who, though not daring to detach one of our ships, except by stealth, out of our harbours, have nevertheless decreed the British Islands in a state of blockade; we, who owe our good fortune to our auspicious marriage with the cast-off

VOL. XI.

1

cast-off mistress of Barras, who have made abject slaves of those who murdered their pious. and amiable Sovereign, under the specious pretence of liberty; we, who sacrificed the Duke d'Enghien, and numberless other persons to our insatiable ambition; who have been of every religion, yet contemned all: we, who, under the impotent reign of our best abettors, All the Talents, plundered and fettered the whole of the Continent, do decree, That from henceforth it is our Royal will and pleasure, that the term ridicule shall be exclusively applied as an epithet to all Princes or States, who have been, are, or may be subjected to us, either under the name of alliance or conquest, or who dare not resist our ruffian-like impositions; thereby significantly explaining the use that every one of them has been, or may be of to us. Thus the Emperor of Austria we denominate our ci devant Ridicule. Our dearly beloved friend, the King of Prussia, who has faithfully conduced to place us in our present state, notre Ridicule Frederique, and bis subjects nos Ridicules Prussiens. The Confederation of the Rhine shall be known by the appellation of notre grand Ridicule: and our brother Louis's subjects shall be called nos Ridicules Stoiques. Hamburgh, Brenten, Lubeck, &c. shall be denominated nos petits Ridicules: but in consideration of our dearly beloved brother Jerome's easy acquiescence to repudiate his wife, and of his being a very counterpart of ourself; and besides his promising to send us liberal donations of his Westphalian acorns, we hereby distinguish him by the more endearing epithet of notre propre Cochon, and his subjects nos petits Cochons. Farther we declare, that it was our will and pleasure to have given the epithet of notre Ridicule Naval to Denmark; but those cursed English have resumed their wonted vigour since the dismission of the Broad Bottoms, have reached the goal before us, and deprived us of the booty in spite

of

of our good ally the Crown Prince, whom we shall now call notre Ridicule furieux.

At our Imperial Palace of the Thuilleries, Oct. 1,

1807.

Oct. 30.

NAPOLEON.

"ALL THE TALENTS."

A NEW SONG, to the TUNE of the "

Tight Little Island."

A

[From the same.]

SHORT time ago, as we all of us know,

Pitt was plac'd at the head of the nation;

But when he, alas! went, the folks were content
With a terrible Administration.

Oh what an Administration!

There never was such in the nation;
They turn'd out all the good,

Got in Whig-blocks of wood,

To show a Whig Administration.

The broad-bottom'd Lord never hinted a word
To assist the thick-headed taxation;

And the charming Lord P-tty, who trips with Miss Betty,
Got up to the top of the nation.

What a head to an Administration !

A dinner's his grand relaxation;
And though meat may be meet,
Yet his conduct wa'n't meet,

When meeting the Administration.

It in P-tty's head pops, as himself's fond of hops,
He'd tax all the beer in the nation;

But his tax soon fell dead, on the bier it was laid,
To be buried by Administration.

His pig-iron a bore to the nation :
This head to the Administration
May shine at a ball,

But took no steps at all

To figure in Administration.

Billy W-ndh-m turn'd coat, with the wind he chang'd note, Nor bluster'd in sermonication;

Nay, they 're all chang'd, good lack, so that Grey turn'd to How wick-ed an Administration!

Yet this was the Administration

Hash'd up for the use of the nation;
And Abb-tt look'd pleas'd,

While the country was teas'd

With this terrible Administration.

[black,

There was Sammy the Brewer, he thought, to be sure,
A title he'd get for his wrath, Sir;

He fermented away, with his charges so gay,
But his hog's-head gave nothing but froth, Sir.
What an error in Sam's calculations!

What a waste of his dregs and orations!
Like his porter, all but,

No more he need strut,

Nor brew for the Administration.

Then rubicund Sh-rry, so funny and merry,
To Somerset House recreation;

With his balls and his routs, how he laugh'd at the outs,
When he'd got in the Administration !

No Trotter was he in the nation,
He gallopp'd away on his station;
For the playhouse was left,

Of its Manager 'reft,

While he manag'd the Administration.

Cr-f-rd, Wh-l-ke, and M-rr-y, went out in a hurry,
To get wealth and fame for the nation;
But some how or other, didn't do one or t' other,
But fail'd, like their Administration.

Hard battles they fought in their stations,
Took convents and fortifications:

From America beat,

They beat a retreat,

Turn'd out, like their Administration.

There was Er-sk-ne, God wot, by chance he had got
The noble Lord Chancellor's station;

And there were some more, a precious half score,
"Who fool'd with the strength of the nation.

1

Now