SIR,

CHANGE OF MINISTRY.

[From the same.]

AM always laying schemes for my country's wef fare; and, as it appears she never had more need of assistance than at present, having, I flatter myself, devised an excellent plan, I make no apology for offering it to your readers. I had some faint hopes, indeed, during the late several debates in the House of Commons on the affairs of Ireland, that the decisions of that august Assembly would have superseded the necessity of my scheme. When the brilliant acuteness of Sheridan, the integrity and sense of Piggott, the profound knowledge of Romilly, are contrasted with the flippancy of Canning, the quibbling sophis try of Perceval, the apostacy and nonsense of Mr. Lockhart, one would have thought the issue could not have been for a moment doubtful, and that that gallant and generous nation would have been united to us by the strictest bonds of friendship and interest. But as, unfortunately, the contrary is the case, I see only one chance left for us. Since it seems determined to exclude the friends and coadjutors of the illustrious and benevolent Charles Fox, and to act in direct opposition to their wise and conciliatory counsels, my plan is, that, through the mediation of our late magnanimous Ally, we should endeavour to prevail upon Bonaparte to send us Talleyrand and the rest of his. Ministers, and accept in exchange (for that is the grand point) His Grace of Portland and his sapient junto. If this could but be accomplished*, the ad

* In case the mediation of our magnanimous Ally should not be sufficient, I advise that Lord Mlle be, in the mean time, sent over to sneak behind the Throne; when, if he can but gain the Imperial car, success is certain.

vantages

vantages to this country would be incalculable; especially if Napoleon could only be persuaded to give his entire confidence to Messrs. Canning, Hawkesbury, Castlereagh, and Co. and suffer them to conduct him to London, by the same route by which they formerly marched to Paris. Then too would these vigorous and enlightened statesmen, no doubt, soon enable Great Britain to obtain what the heaven-born Minister, Mr. Pitt, so long promised ineffectually- Indemnity for the past, and security for the future." Then might we behold Austria, Spain, Prussia, Holland, and Russia, successively the allies, successively the enemies of France. Then might we see that mighty Empire, from lording it over the greatest part of the civilized world, shut up within the ancient boundaries of her monarchy, and, in spite of the bravery and industry of her people, rapidly sinking into ruin and contempt; till at last, perhaps, in the language of Mr. Burke, 66 we might cast our eyes over the map ofEurope, and see a chasm that once was France." Aug. 19.

SPECULATOR.

EDUCATION OF THE Poor.

MR. EDITOR,

[From the same.]

PERCEIVED by your Tuesday's paper, that Mr. G. Rose, and some of his friends, are alarmed at the provision in Mr. Whitbread's bill, which threatens to teach parish boys to read, and particularly to write. No alarm can be more worthy of the danger. If you teach them to write, says Mr. Rose, they will leave the plough and get into counting-houses; and surely every man who has a plough or a counting-house, will be distressed to think that the one must be raised at the expense of the other, and that while he is carrying

on

on a great trade with merchants abroad, he is starving ..at home, because his clerks will no longer whistle at the plough-tail, or are dunning his customers when they should be threshing his corn.

But this is not all, Sir-Is it not to be dreaded that the art of penmanship may produce yet worse effects, and that boys who have acquired a good running-hand will leave their masters, go to sea, and become pursers of His Majesty's navy, and from thence make a rapid transition to the slops and perquisites of a public office? Who can tell where such forward boys may think proper to stop? Teach them a few scraps of French, and they will want to be Foreign Secretaries! Flog them through a dozen pages of Cocker's Arithmetic, and they will leave their regular business to be Chancellors of the Exchequer !-Instruct them to try rhymes and point epigrams, and they will be for going abroad as Ambassadors! Ah! Sir, well may we say of such calamities, as the old woman said of her son who was hanged for forgery-" All this comes of learning to read and write!"

But, Mr. Editor, although I am as much a friend to ignorance as the Gentlemen who took part in the late debate, I am not for promoting any farther increase in the breed of idiots. People in high stations may be as ignorant as they please, because they can afford it. When the celebrated Lord Chesterfield was once pleading the cause of literary men, he said they lived by their wits, and very wisely added, "Thank God, my Lords, you and I are otherwise provided for." No, Sir, there is a certain degree of knowledge necessary for even ploughboys, and all mechanics above ploughboys, and no man will employ them without it. Far different is the case with those who aspire to high stations. They have the means to conceal their incapacity, and they may prove very highly applauded Governors of nations; they may carry on war, raise

taxes, form armies, make peace, and other such trifling articles, whom no man at the same time would trust to guide his plough, serve behind his counter, or work on his shop-board. I hope, therefore, that while there are such fine openings for men who, as Dogberry says, are "the most senseless and fit," a little knowledge will not be denied to those who have no other means of getting their bread.

I am, Sir, your humble Servant,

Wednesday, July 15, 1807

IGNORAMUS.

CRIES R, "Teach your ploughboys to read and to

write,

They'll pant for high food and rich gravy,
Aim at least to be clerks, as a matter of right,
Or pursers; perchance, in the navy.

Nor with these will the louts be contented. I ween.
But aspire to still higher darings,

And grasp, when impell'd by a longing so keen;-
The state's candlès-ends-and-cheese-parings !"

Ah! give to his warnings their merited force,
Nor treat them as party inventions;

For it must be allow'd he has run the same course,
By the aid of no better pretensions.

Aug. 15,

THE ROSE:-AN EPITAPH.

[From the Oracle.]

ERE rests his head upon the lap of earth,

HER

A Rose, to fortune and to fame well known;
Fair Science beam'd not on his humble birth,
And deep Contrivance mark'd him as her own.

Low

Low was his cunning, but his plans well faid;
Fate did a recompence as largely send
No Jobber came but he was amply paid;
He gain'd his object-but he got no friend.

Jor him no more the Forest's hearth shall burn,
Or busy Agents with assiduous care
Wait with impatience for his blest return,

With open mouths, the Treasury gifts to share.

Oft did their pockets to his wishes yield,

Their firm decisions his assurance broke; How often o'er their heads the sword did wield! How bow'd the country under G's yoke!

But now with dirges dire, in sad array,

Through Cuffnells Churchyard lately was he borne; Approach, and see the Rose that liv'd to-day,

Plac'd where it should be iv'd to-day,

its kindred Thorn,

No farther seek his merits to disclose,

Or draw his frailties from their dread abode They, unexampled, near their Thorn repose,

And were he here, this truth he'd vow to God." Aug. 21.

TILSIT FAIR.

[From the Morning Post.]

FROM Tilsit-have you heard the news
Of a confounded racket,
Where the great Bear durst not refuse
To wear the Fiddler's jacket?

A Corsican Usurper base,
A conqueror yet a donor,
Diffus'd insignias of disgrace,
And badges of dishonour.

This Conjuror play'd up such a tune,
As set mad Europe dancing,
And, in the sultry month of June,.
Set many Monarchs prancing.

Thus