Fal. O Hal! I prythee, give me leave to breathe a while. Turk Gregory never did such deeds in arms, as I have done this day. I have paid Percy, I have made him sure. P. Hen. He is, indeed, and living to kill thee. Lend me thy sword, I prythee. Fal. Nay, before God, Hal, if Percy be alive, thou gett'st not my sword; but take my pistol, if thou wilt. P. Hen. Give it me: what, is it in the case? Fal. Ay, Hal; 'tis hot, 'tis hot; there's that will sack & city. [The PRINCE draws out a bottle of sack. P. Hen. What, is 't a time to jest and dally now? [Throws it at him, and exit. Fal. Well, if Percy be alive, I'll pierce him. If he do come in my way, so; if he do not, if I come in his, willingly, let him make a carbonado of me. I like not such grinning honour as Sir Walter hath: give me life: which if I can save, so; if not, honour comes unlooked for, and there's an end. [Exit. My lord of Westmoreland, lead him to his tent. And rebels' arms triumph in massacres! P. John. We breathe too long:-come, cousin West moreland, Our duty this way lies: for God's sake, come. [Exeunt PRINCE JOHN and WESTMORELAND. P. Hen. By heaven, thou hast deceived me, LanI did not think thee lord of such a spirit: Before, I loved thee as a brother, John; [caster; But now, I do respect thee as my soul. K. Hen. I saw him hold lord Percy at the point, With lustier maintenance than I did look for Of such an ungrown warrior. P. Hen. O, this boy Lends mettle to us all! Alarums. Enter DOUGLAS. [Exit. Doug. Another king! they grow like Hydra's heads: I am the Douglas, fatal to all those K. Hen. The king himself; who, Douglas, grieves at So many of his shadows thou hast met, And not the very king. I have two boys Doug. I fear thou art another counterfeit; [heart, Enter HOTSPUR. Hot. If I mistake not, thou art Harry Monmouth. P. Hen. Why, then I see A very valiant rebel of the name. I am the prince of Wales; and think not, Percy, Two stars keep not their motion in one sphere; Hot. Nor shall it, Harry; for the hour is come P. Hen. I'll make it greater ere I part from thee; Hot. I can no longer brook thy vanities. [They fight. Enter FALSTAFF. Fal. Well said, Hal! to it, Hal! -Nay, you shall find no boy's play here, I can tell you. Re-enter DOUGLAS; he fights with FALSTAFF, who falls Hot. O, Harry, thou hast robb'd me of my youth! And time, that takes survey of all the world, But that the earthy and cold hand of death And food for [Dies. P. Hen. For worms, brave Percy. Fare thee well Ill-weaved ambition, how much art thou shrunk! Is room enough:-this earth, that bears thee dead, If thou wert sensible of courtesy, I should not make so dear a show of zeal:- Adieu, and take thy praise with thee to heaven! Thy ignomy sleep with thee in the grave, [He sees FALSTAFF on the ground. What! old acquaintance! could not all this flesh [Entt Fal. [Rising slowly.] Embowelled! if thou embowel me to-day, I'll give you leave to powder me and eat me too to-morrow. 'Sblood, 'twas time to counterfeit, or that hot termagant Scot had paid me scot and lot too. Counterfeit? I lie, I am no counterfeit: to die, is to be a counterfeit; for he is but the counterfeit of a man, who hath not the life of a man: but to counterfeit dying, when a man thereby liveth, is to be no counterfeit, but the true and perfect image of life indeed. The better part of valour is discretion; in the which better part I have saved my life. 'Zounds, I am afraid of this gunpowder Percy, though he be dead: how, if he should [They fight; DOUGLAS flies. counterfeit too, and rise? I am afraid he would prove [They fight; the KING being in danger, enter Cheerly, my lord; how fares your grace?- P. Hen. O heaven! they did me too much injury, K. Hen. Make up to Clifton; I'll to Sir Nicholas Gawsey. the better counterfeit. Therefore I'll make him sure. Re-enter PRINCE HENRY and PRINCE JOHN. P. John But, soft! whom have we here? [flesh'd P. Hen. I did; I saw him dead, breathless, and Upon the ground. Art thou alive? or is it fantasy [bleeding That plays upon our eyesight? I pr'ythee, speak. S We will not trust our eyes, without our ears:- Fal. No, that's certain; I am not a double man: but if I be not Jack Falstaff, then am I a Jack. There is Percy: [throwing the body down.] if your father will do me any honour, so if not, let hin kill the next Percy himself. I look to be either earl or duke, I can assure you. P. Hen. Why, Percy I killed myself, and saw thee | dead. Fal. Didst thou?-Lord, lord, how this world is given to lying!-I grant you I was down, and out of breath: and so was he: but we rose both at an instant, and fought a long hour by Shrewsbury clock. If I may be believed, so; if not, let them that should reward valour, bear the sin upon their own heads. I'll take it upon my death, I gave him this wound in the thigh: if the man were alive and would deny it, I would make him eat a piece of my sword. P. John. This is the strangest tale that e'er I heard. P. Hen. This is the strangest fellow, brother John.Come, bring your luggage nobly on your back: For my part, if a lie may do thee grace, I'll gild it with the happiest terms I have. [A retreat is sounded. Pardon, and terms of love to all of you? And wouldst thou turn our offers contrary! Misuse the tenor of thy kinsman's trust? Three knights upon our party slain to-day, A noble earl, and many a creature else, Had been alive this hour, If, like a Christian, thou hadst truly borne Betwixt our armies true intelligence. Wor. What I have done, my safety urged me to; K. Hen. Bear Worcester to the death, and Vernon Other offenders we will pause upon.[Exeunt WORCESTER and VERNON, guarded. How goes the field? too, P. Hen. The noble Scot, lord Douglas, when he saw The fortune of the day quite turn'd from him, The noble Percy slain, and all his men Upon the foot of fear, -fled with the rest: And, falling from a hill, he was so bruised, That the pursuers took him. At my tent The Douglas is; and I beseech your grace, I may dispose of him. K. Hen. With all my heart. P. Hen. Then, brother John of Lancaster, to you This honourable bounty shall belong: K. Hen. Then this remains, that we divide our [Exeunt SCENE L.] SECOND PART OF KING HENRY IV. Blown by surmises, jealousies, conjectures; And of so easy and so plain a stop, That the blunt monster with uncounted heads, The still-discordant wavering multitude, Can play upon it. But what need I thus My well-known body to anatomise Among my household? Why is Rumour here? I run before king Harry's victory; Who, in a bloody field by Shrewsbury, Hath beaten down young Hotspur and his troops, Even with the rebels' blood. But what mean I To noise abroad, that Harry Monmouth fell Than they have learn'd of me. From Rumour's tongues They bring smooth comforts false, worse than true wrongs. ACT I. SCENE L.-The same. [Exit. The Porter before the Gate. Enter LORD BARDOLPH. Bard. Who keeps the gate here, ho?-Where is the earl? Port. What shall I say you are? Bard. Tell thou the earl, That the lord Bardolph doth attend him here. Port. His lordship is walk'd forth into the orchard; Please it your honour, knock but at the gate, And he himself will answer. Enter NORTHUMBERLAND. Bard. Here comes the earl. North. What news, lord Bardolph ? every minute now Should be the father of some stratagem: The times are wild; contention, like a horse Bard. Noble earl, I bring you certain news from Shrewsbury. Bard. As good as heart can wish:- Prince Harry slain outright; and both the Blunts North. How is this derived? Saw you the field? came you from Shrewsbury? [thence, North. Here comes my servant, Travers, whom I sent On Tuesday last, to listen after news. Bard. My lord, I over-rode him on the way; And he is furnish'd with no certainties, Enter TRAVERS. North. Now, Travers, what good tidings come with you? Said he young Harry Percy's spur was cold? Of Hotspur, coldspur? that rebellion Bard. My lord, I'll tell you what;- North. Why should the gentleman, that rode br Give, then, such instances of loss? Bard. Who, he? He was some hilding fellow, that had stolen The horse he rode on; and, upon my life, [Travers, Spoke at a venture.-Look, here comes more news. Enter MORTON. North. Yea, this man's brow, like to a title-leaf, Say, Morton, didst thou come from Shrewsbury? North. How doth my son and brother? Mor. Douglas is living, and your brother, yet: But, for my lord your son, North. Why, he is dead. See what a ready tongue suspicion hath! He that but fears the thing he would not know, And I will take it as a sweet disgrace, And make thee rich for doing me such wrong. North. Yet, for all this, say not that Percy's dead. Bard. I cannot think, my lord, your son is dead. From whence with life he never more sprung up. Under me conduct of young Lancaster North. For this I shall have time enough to mourn. Out of his keeper's arms; even so my limbs, crutch; A scaly gauntlet now, with joints of steel, Tra. This strained passion doth you wrong, my lord And summ'd the account of chance, before you said,- Of wounds and scars, and that his forward spirit Bard. We all, that are engagèd to this loss, Mor. ''Tis more than time: and, my most noble lord, Supposed sincere and holy in his thoughts, Go in with me; and counsel every man The aptest way for safety, and revenge: Get posts and letters, and make friends with speed; Never so few, and never yet more need. SCENE II.- LONDON. A Street. [Exeunt. water: but for the party that owed it, he might have more diseases than he knew for. Fal. Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at me: the brain of this foolish-compounded clay, man, is not able to vent anything that tends to laughter, more than I invent, or is invented on me: I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other men. I do here walk before thee, like a sow that hath overwhelmed all her litter but one. If the prince put thee into my service for any other reason than to set me off, why then I have no judgment. Thou whoreson mandrake, thou art fitter to be worn in my cap than to wait at my heels. I was never mannered with an agate till now: but I will set you neither in gold nor silver, but in vile apparel, and send you back again to your master, for a jewel; the juvenal, the prince, your master, whose chin is not yet fledged. I will sooner have a beard grow in the palm of my hand, than he shall get one on his cheek; and yet he will not stick to say, his face is a face-royal: God may finish it when he will, it is not a hair amiss yet: he may keep it still as a face-royal, for a barber shall never earn sixpence out of it; and yet he will be crowing, as if he had writ man ever since his father was a bachelor. He may keep his own grace, but he is almost out of mine, I can assure him. What said master Dumbleton about the satin for my short cloak, and slops? Page. He said, Sir, you should procure him better assurance than Bardolph he would not take his bond and yours; he liked not the security. Fal. Let him be damned like the glutton! may his tongue be hotter! A whoreson Achitophel! a rascally yea-forsooth knavel to bear a gentleman in hand, and then stand upon security! - The whoreson smoothpates do now wear nothing but high shoes, and bunches of keys at their girdles; and if a man is thorough with them in honest taking up, then they must stand upon -security. I had as lief they would put ratsbane in my mouth, as offer to stop it with security. I looked he should have sent me two-and-twenty yards of satin, as I am a true knight, and he sends me security. Well, he may sleep in security; for he hath the horn of abundance, and the lightness of his wife shines through it; and yet cannot he see, though he have his own ntern to light him. - Where's Bardolph? Page. He's gone into Smithfield, to buy your worship & horse Fal. I bought him in Paul's, and he'll buy me a horse in Smithfield: an I could get me but a wife in the stews, I were manned, horsed, and wived. Enter the Lord Chief Justice and an Attendant. Page. Sir, here comes the nobleman that committed the prince for striking him about Bardolph. Ch. Just. He that was in question for the robbery? Atten. He, my lord: but he hath since done good service at Shrewsbury; and, as I hear, is now going with some charge to the lord John of Lancaster. Ch. Just. What, to York? Call him back again. Fal, Boy, tell him, I am deaf. Page. You must speak louder, my master is deaf. Ch. Just. I am sure he is, to the hearing of anything good.-Go, pluck him by the elbow; I must speak with him. Atten. Sir John, Fal. What! a young knave, and beg! Is there not wars? is there not employment? Doth not the king lack subjects? do not the rebels need soldiers? Though it be a shame to be on any side but one, it is worse shame to beg than to be on the worst side, were it worse than the name of rebellion can tell how to make it. Atten. You mistake me, Sir. Fal. Why, Sir, did I say you were an honest man? Setting my knighthood and my soldiership aside, I had lied in my throat if I had said so. Atten. I pray you, Sir, then set your knighthood and your soldiership aside; and give me leave to tell you, you lie in your throat, if you say I am any other than an honest man. Fal. I give thee leave to tell me so! 1 lay aside that which grows to me! If thou gett'st any leave of me, hang me; if thou takest leave, thou wert better be hang'd: you hunt-counter, hencel avaunt I Atten. Sir, my lord would speak with you. Fal My good lord!-God give your lordship goed time of day. I am glad to see your oraship abroad: I heard say, your lordship was sick: I hope your lordship goes abroad by advice. Your lordship, though not clean past your youth, hath yet some smack of age in you, some relish of the saltness of time; and I most humbly beseech your lordship to have a reverend care of your health. Ch. Just. Sir John, I sent for you before your expedition to Shrewsbury. Fal. An't please your lordship, I hear his majesty is returned with some discomfort from Wales. Ch. Just. I talk not of his majesty :-you would not come when I sent for you. Fal. And I hear, moreover, his highness is fallen into this same whoreson apoplexy. Ch. Just. Well, heaven mend him! I pray let me speak with you. Fal. This apoplexy is, as I take it, a kind of lethargy, an't please your lordship; a kind of sleeping in the blood, a whoreson tingling. Ch. Just. What tell you me of it? be it as it is. Fal. It hath its original from much grief; from study, and perturbation of the brain: I have read the cause of his effects in Galen; it is a kind of deafness. Ch. Just. I think you are fallen into the disease; for you hear not what I say to you. Fal. Very well, my lord, very well: rather, an't please you, it is the disease of not listening, the malady of not marking, that I am troubled withal. Ch. Just. To punish you by the heels, would amend the attention of your ears; and I care not, if I do become your physician. Fal. I am as poor as Job, my lord; but not so patient: your lordship may minister the potion of imprisonment to me, in respect of poverty; but how I should be your patient to follow your prescriptions, the wise may make some dram of a scruple, or, indeed, a scruple itself. Ch. Just. I sent for you, when there were matters against you for your life, to come speak with me. Fal. As I was then advised by my learned counsel in the laws of this land-service, I did not come. Ch. Just. Well, the truth is, Sir John, you live in great infamy. Fal. Hethat buckles him in my belt, cannot live in less. Ch. Just. Your means are very slender, and your waste is great. Fal. I would it were otherwise; I would my means were greater, and my waist slenderer. Ch. Just. You have misled the youthful prince. Fal. The young prince hath misled me: I am the fllow with the great belly, and he my dog. Ch. Just. Well, I am loath to gall a new-healed wound; your day's service at Shrewsbury hath a little gilded over your night's exploit on Gadshill: you may thank the unquiet time for your quiet o'er-posting that action. Fal. My lord? Fal. My lord, I was born about three of the clock ip the afternoon, with a white head, and something a round belly. For my voice,- I have lost it with hollaing and singing of anthems. To approve my youth further, I will not: the truth is, I am only old in judgment and understanding; and he that will caper with me for a thousand marks, let him lend me the money, and have at him. For the box o' the ear that the prince gave you, he gave it like a rude prince, and you took it like a sensible lord. I have checked him for it; and the young lion repents; marry, not in ashes and sackcloth; but in new silk and old sack. Ch. Just. Well, heaven send the prince a better companion! Fal. Heaven send the companion a better prince! 1 cannot rid my hands of him. Ch. Just. Well, the king hath severed you and prince Harry: I hear you are going with lord John of Lancaster, against the archbishop and the earl of Northumberland. Fal. Yea; I thank your pretty sweet wit for it. But look you, pray, all you that kiss my lady peace at home, that our armies join not in a hot day: for, by the Ierd, I take but two shirts out with me, and I mean not to sweat extraordinarily: if it be a hot day, and I brandish anything but my bottle, I would I might never spit white again. There is not a dangerous action can peep out his head, but I am thrust upon it. Well, I cannot last ever. But it was always yet the trick of our English nation, if they have a good thing, to make it too common. you will needs say, I am an old man, you should give me rest. I would to God, my name were not so terrible to the enemy as it is. I were better to be eaten to death with rust, than to be scoured to nothing with perpetual motion. If Ch. Just. Well, be honest, be honest; and God bless your expedition! Fal. Will your lordship lend me a thousand pound to furnish me forth? Ch. Just. Not a penny, not a penny; you are too impatient to bear crosses. Fare you well: commend me to my cousin Westmoreland. [Exeunt Chief Justice and Attendant. Fal. If I do, fillip me with a three-man beetle. A man can no more separate age and covetousness, than he can part young limbs and lechery: but the gout galls the one, and the pox pinches the other; and so both the degrees prevent my curses.-Boy! Page. Sir? Fal. What money is in my purse? Fal. I can get no remedy against this consumption of the purse: borrowing only lingers and lingers it out, but the disease is incurable.-Go bear this letter to my lord of Lancaster; this to the prince; this to the earl of Westmoreland; and this to old mistress Ursula, whom I have weekly sworn to marry since I perceived the first white hair on my chin: about it; you know Ch. Just. But since all is well, keep it so: wake not where to find me. [Exit Page.] A pox of this gout! a sleeping wolf. Fal. To wake a wolf is as bad as to smell a fox. burnt out. Fal. A wassail candle, my lord; all tallow: if I did say of wax, my growth would approve the truth. Ch. Just. There is not a white hair on your face, but should have his effect of gravity Fal. His effect of gravy, gravy, gravy. Ch. Just. You follow the young prince up and down, like his ill angel. Fal. Not so, my lord; your ill angel is light; but, I nope, he that looks upon me, will take me without weighing: and yet, in some respects, I grant, I cannot go, I cannot tell. Virtue is of so little regard in these costermonger times, that true valour is turned bearherd: pregnancy is made a tapster, and hath his quick wit wasted in giving reckonings; all the other gifts appertinent to man, as the malice of this age shapes them, are not worth a gooseberry. You, that are old, consider not the capacities of us that are young: you measure the heat of our livers with the bitterness of your galls: and we that are in the vaward of our youth, I must confess are wags too. Ch. Just. Do you set down your name in the scroll o youth, that are written down old with all the characters of age? Have you not a moist eye? a dry hand? a yellow cheek? a white beard? a decreasing leg? an increasing belly? Is not your voice broken? your wind short? your chin double? your wit single? and every part about you blasted with antiquity? and will you jet call yourself young? Fie, fie, fie, Sir John! or, a gout of this pox! for the one, or the other, plays the rogue with my great toe. It is no matter, if I do halt; I have the wars for my colour, and my pension shall seem the more reasonable. A good wit will make use of anything; I will turn diseases to commodity. [Exit. SCENE III.-YORK. A Room in the ARCHBISHOP'S Palace. Enter the ARCHBISHOP OF YORK, the LORDS HASTINGS, MOWBRAY, and BARDOLPH. Arch. Thus have you heard our cause, and known our Hast. Our present musters grow upon the file Bard. The question, then, lord Hastings, standeth Whether our present five and twenty thousand [thus:May hold up head without Northumberland. Hast. With him, we may. Bard. Ay, marry, there's the point: But if without him we be thought too feeble. |