his match. The women sot lots by him, and he was allus' ready to take tea round, and make things pleasant and comfortable, and he had a good story for every one, an' a word for the children, and maybe an apple or a cookey in his pocket for 'em. Wal, you know there ain't no pleasin' every body, and ef Gabriel himself, right down. out o' heaven, was to come and be a minister, I expect there 'd be a pickin' at his wings, and sort o' fault-findin'. Now Aunt Jerushy Scran and Aunt Polly Hokum, they sed Parson Morrell wa'n't solemn enough. Ye see there's them that thinks that a minister ought to be jest like the town-hearse, so that ye think of death, judgment, and eternity, and nothin' else, when you see him round; and if they see a man rosy and chipper, and havin' a pretty nice sociable sort of time, why they say he ain't spiritooalminded. But in my times I've seen ministers that the most awakenin' kind in the pulpit was the liveliest when they was out on 't. There is a time to laugh, Scriptur' says, tho' some folks never seem to remember that are. "But, Sam, how came you to say it was Ike Babbitt's fault? What was it about the sheep?" 66 "O wal, yis-I'm a comin' to that are. It was all about them sheep-I expect they was the instrument the devil sot to work to tempt Parson Morrell to laugh in prayer-time. "Ye see there was old Dick, Ike's bell-wether, was the fightin'est old crittur that ever yer see. Why Dick would butt at his own shadder, and every body said it was a shame the old critter should be left to run loose, 'cause he run at the children and scared the women half out of their wits. Wal, I used to live out in that parish in them days, and Lem Sudoc and I used to go out sparkin' Sunday nights to see the Larkin gals-and we had to go right 'cross the lot where Dick was—so we used to go and stand at the fence and call, and Dick would see us and put down his head and run at us full chisel, and come bunt agin the fence, and then I'd ketch him by the horns and hold him while Lem run and got over the fence t'other side the lot, and then I'd let go and Lem would holler and shake a stick at him, and away he'd go full butt at Lem, and Lem would ketch his horns and hold him till I came over-that was the way we managed Dick-but ef he come sudden up behind a fellow, he'd give him a butt in the small of his back that would make him run on all fours one whilehe was a great rogue, Dick was. Wal, that summer I remember they had old Deacon Titkins for tithing-man, and I can tell you he give it to the boys lively. There warn't no sleepin' nor no playin', for the Deacon had eyes like a gimblet, and he was quick as a cat, and the youngsters hed to look out for themselves. It did really seem as if the Deacon was like them four beasts in the Revelation that was full o' eyes behind and before, for which ever way he was standin' if you gave only a wink he was down on you and hit you a tap with his stick. I know once Lem Sudoc jist wrote two words in the psalm-book and passed to Keziah Larkin, and the Deacon give him such a tap that Lem grew red as a beet, and vowed he'd be up with him some day for that. "Well, Lordy massy! folks that is so chipper and highsteppin' has to have their come downs, and the Deacon he had to hev his. "That ar Sunday, I remember it now jest as well as if 't was yesterday. The parson he giv us his gret sermon, reconcilin' decrees and free agency-every body said that ar sermon was a masterpiece. He preached it up to Cambridge at Commencement, but it so happened it was one o' them bilin' hot days that come in August, when you .can fairly hear the huckleberries a sizzling and cookin' on the bushes, and the locust keeps a gratin' like a red-hot saw. Wal, such times, decrees or no decrees, the best on us will get sleepy. The old meetin'-house stood right down at the foot of a hill that kep' off all the wind, and the sun blazed away at them gret west winders, and there was pretty sleepy times there. Wal, the Deacon he flew round a spell, and woke up the children and tapped the boys on the head, and kep' every thing straight as he could till the sermon was most through, when he railly got most tuckered out, and he took a chair, and he sot down in the door right opposite the minister, and fairly got to sleep himself, jest as the minister got up to make the last prayer. "Wal, Parson Morrell had a way o' prayin' with his eyes open. Folks said it wa'n't the best way, but it was Parson Morrell's anyhow, and so as he was prayin' he couldn't help seein' that Deacon Titkins was a noddin' and a bobbin' out towards the place where old Dick was feedin' with the sheep, front o' the meetin'-house door. "Lem and me we was sittin' where we could look out, and we could jest see old Dick stop feedin' and look at the Deacon. The Deacon had a little round head as smooth as an apple, with a nice powdered wig on it, and he sot there makin' bobs and bows, and Dick begun to think it was suthin' sort o' pussonel. Lem and me was sittin' jest where we could look out and see the whole picter, and Lem was fit to split. 666 'Good, now," says he, that crittur'll pay the Deacon off lively, pretty soon.' "The Deacon bobbed his head a spell, and old Dick he shook his horns and stamped at him sort o' threatnin'. Finally the Deacon he gave a great bow and brought his head right down at him, and old Dick he sot out full tilt and come down on him ker chunk, and knocked him head over heels into the broad aisle, and his wig flew one way and he t'other, and Dick made a lunge at it as it flew, and carried it off on his horns. "Wal, you may believe, that broke up the meetin' for one while, for Parson Morrell laughed out, and all the girls and boys they stamped and roared, and the old Deacon he got up and begun rubbing his shins-'cause he didn't sce the joke on't. "You don't orter laugh,' says he; 'it's no laughin' matter-it's a solemn thing,' says he; 'I might have been sent into 'tarnity by that crittur,' says he. Then they all roared and haw-hawed the more to see the Deacon dancin' round with his little shiny head, so smooth a fly would trip up on't. 'I believe, on my soul, you'd laugh to see me in my grave,' says he! "Wal, the truth on't was, 'twas just one of them bustin' up times that natur' has, when there ain't nothin' for it but to give in; 'twas jest like the ice breakin' up in the Charles River-it all come at once and no whoa to 't. Sunday or no Sunday, sin or no sin, the most on 'em laughed until they cried, and couldn't help it. "But the Deacon he went home feelin' pretty sore about it. Lem Sudoc he picked up his wig and handed it to him. Says he 'Old Dick was playing tithing-man, wa'n't he, Deacon? Teach you to make allowance for other folks that get sleepy.' "Then Mrs. Titkins she went over to Aunt Jerushy Scran's and Aunt Polly Hokum's, and they had a pot o' tea over it, and 'greed it was awful of Parson Morrell to set sich an example, and suthin' had got to be done about it. Miss Hokum said she allers knew that Parson Morrell hadn't no spiritooality, and now it had broke out into open sin, and led all the rest of 'em into it; and Mrs. Titkins she said such a man wa'n't fit to preach; and Miss Hokum said she couldn't never hear him ag'in, and the next Sunday the Deacon and his wife they hitched up and driv eight miles over to Parson Lothrop's, and took Aunt Polly on the back seat. "Wal, the thing growed and growed till it seemed as if there warn't nothing else talked about, 'cause Aunt Polly and Mrs. Titkins and Jerushy Scran they didn't do nothin' but talk about it, and that sot every body else a talkin'. "Finally, it was 'greed they must hev a council to settle the hash. So all the wimmen they went to chopping mince, and making up pumpkin pies and cranberry tarts, and bilin' doughnuts, gettin' reddy for the ministers and delegates 'cause councils always eats powerful-and they had quite a stir, like a gineral trainin'. The hosses, they was hitched all up and down the stalls, a stompin' and switchin' their tails, and all the wimmen was a talkin', and they hed up every body round for witnesses, and finally Parson Morrell he says, 'Brethren,' says he, 'jest let me tell you the story jest as it happened, and if you don't every one of you laugh as hard as I did, why, then I'll give up.' "The parson he was a master hand at settin' off a story, and afore he'd done he got 'em all in sich a roar they didn't know where to leave off. Finally, they give sentence that there hadn't no temptation took him but such as is common to man; but they advised him afterward allers to pray with his eyes shut, and the parson he confessed he orter 'a done it, and meant to do better in future, and so they settled it. "So, boys," said Sam, who always drew a moral, "ye see it larns you you must take care what you look at, ef ye want to keep from laughin' in meetin'."—MRS. H. B. STOWE. True, I do love Archie Dean, Love him, love him, oh! how true; (Archie Dean put that in my head), |