SCENE I-Windsor. Before PAGE's House. Enter Justice SHALLOW, SLENDER, and Sir HUGH EVANS. Shal. Sir' Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star-chamber matter of it: if he were twenty sir John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire. Slen. In the county of Gloster, justice of peace, and toram. Shal. Ay, cousin Slender, and cust-alorum. Slen. Ay, and ratolorum too; and a gentleman born, master parson; who writes himself armigero; in any bill. warrant, quittance, or obligation, armigero. Shal. Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three hundred years. Slen. All his successors, gone before him, have done 't; and all his ancestors, that come after him, may: they may give the dozen white luces in their coat. Shal. It is an old coat. Era. The dozen white louses do become an old coat well; it agrees well, passant: it is a familiar beast to man, and signifies love. Shal. The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat. Slen. I may quarter, coz? Shal. You may, by marrying. Era. It is marring, indeed, if he quarter it. Era. Yes, per-lady: if he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures. But that is all one: if sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence, to make atonetents and compromises between you. Shal. The council shall hear it it is a riot. Era. It is not meet the council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot. The council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot: take your vizaments in that. Shal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again the sword should end it. Eva. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it and there is also another device in my prain, which peradventure, prings goot discretions with it. There is Anne Page, which is daughter to master George Page, which is pretty virginity. Slen. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small, like a woman. Eva. It is that fery person for all the orld; as just as you will desire, and seven hundred pounds of monies, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire, upon his death'sbed (Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!) give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old. It were a goot motion, if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between master Abraham, and mistress Anne Page. Slen. Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound? Eva. Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny. Slen. I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts. Eva. Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities is good gifts. Shal. Well, let us see honest master Page. Is Falstaff there? Eva. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar, as I do despise one that is false; or, as I despise one that is not true. The knight, sir John, is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door for master Page. [Knocks.] What, hoa! Got pless your house here! Page. Who's there? [Above, at the window. Eva. Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and justice Shallow; and here young master Slender, that, peradventures, shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings. Attle by which the clergy were ordinarily addressed. The old name for a pike-an allusion to the coat of arms of the Lucvs' three laces. Enter Page: in f. e. Enter PAGE.1 Page. We three, to hear it, and end it between Page. I am glad to see your worships well. I thank them. you for my venison, master Shallow. Eva. Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you: much note-book; and we will afterwards 'ork upon the good do it your good heart. I wished your venison cause, with as great discreetly as we can. better; it was ill kill'd.-How doth good mistress Fal. Pistol! Page? and I thank you always with my heart, la; with my heart. Page. Sir, I thank you. Shal. Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do. Page. I am glad to see you, good master Slender. Slen. How does your fallow greyhound, sir? heard say, he was outrun on Cotsold." Page. It could not be judg'd, sir. Slen. You'll not confess, you'll not confess. Pist. He hears with ears. Eva. The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this? "He hears with ear?" Why, it is affectations. Fal. Pistol, did you pick master Slender's purse? Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he, (or I would I I might never come in mine own great chamber again else) of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and two pence a-piece of Yed Miller, by these gloves. Shal. That he will not 't is your fault, 't is your fault. T is a good dog. Page. A cur, sir. Shal. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog; can there be more said? he is good, and fair. Is sir John Falstaff here? Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you. Eva. It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak. Shal. If it be confess'd, it is not redress'd: is not that so, master Page? He hath wrong'd me; indeed, he hath ;-at a word, he hath;-believe me:-Robert Shallow, esquire, saith he is wrong'd. Page. Here comes sir John. Enter Sir JOHN FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, and Fal. Now, master Shallow; you'll complain of me to the king? Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge. Fal. But not kiss'd your keeper's daughter. Fal. Is this true, Pistol? Eva. No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse. Pist. Ha, thou mountain-foreigner!-Sir John and I combat challenge of this latten bilbo : Slen. By these gloves, then 't was he. Slen. By this hat, then he in the red face had it; for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass. Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John ?" Bard. Why, sir, for my part, I say, the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five sentences. Eva. It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance is! Bard. And being fap,1o sir, was, as they say, cashier'd; and so conclusions pass'd the carieres."1 10 Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 't is no matter. I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick: if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of Fal. I will answer it straight:-I have done all God, and not with drunken knaves. this. That is now answered. Shal. The council shall know this. Eva. So Got 'udge me, that is a virtuous mind. Fal. 'T were better for you, if it were known in you hear it. counsel you'll be laughed at. Eva. Pauca verba, sir John; good worts. Fal. Good worts ?3 good cabbage.-Slender, I broke your head; what matter have you against me? Slen. Marry, sir, 1 have matter in my head against you; and against your coney-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. They carried me to the tavern, and made me drunk, and afterwards picked my pocket. Bard. You Banbury cheese.* Slen. Ay, it is no matter. Pist. How now, Mephostophilus ? Slen. Ay, it is no matter. Nym. Slice, I say! pauca, pauca; slice! that's my humour. Slen. Where's Simple, my man? - can you tell, cousin? Eva. Peace! I pray you. Now let us understand: there is three umpires in this matter, as I understand; that is-master Page, fidelicet, master Page; and there is myself, fidelicet, myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter. 1 Enter ANNE PAGE with wine; and Mistress FORD and Page. How now, mistress Ford! Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome.-Come, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner: come, gentle men, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness. [Exeunt all but SHALLOW, SLENDER, and EVANS Slen. I had rather than forty shillings, I had my book of songs and sonnets here.Enter SIMPLE. How now, Simple! Where have you been? I mus wait on myself, must I? You have not the book of riddles about you, have you? Sim. Book of riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake upon allhallowmas last, a fortnigh afore Michaelmas? 1 Not in f. e. * Cotsall in f. e. Cotswold-downs, in Gloucestershire, a famous place for rural sports. The old name for cabbage This cheese was extremely thin. 5 Shilling pieces, used in playing shuffle-board, and probably better fitted for the game by being heavier than the common coin, and so commanding a premium. latten, a composition of copper and calamine, made into thin plates bilho, is a Bilboa blade or sword. 7 lips. Instrument used by a thief to hook things from a window; he means, "if you say I'm thiet." Two of Robin Hood's merry men. 10 Fuddled. 11 A term in horsemanship, for galloping a horse backwards and forwards 12 This direction is not in f. e. Shal. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A ward with you, coz; marry, this, coz there is, as t were, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by sir Hugh here do you understand me? Slen. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable: if it be so, I shall do that that is reason. Shal. Nay, but understand me. Eva. Give ear to his motions, master Slender. I will description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it. Slen. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says. I pay you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his country, simple though I stand here. Era. But that is not the question: the question is concerning your marriage. Shal. Ay, there's the point, sir. Era. Marry, is it, the very point of it; to mistress Anne Page. Sten. Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any reasonable demands. Era. But can you affection the 'oman? Let us demand' to know that of your mouth, or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold, that the lips is parcel of the mouth therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid? Shal. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her? Slen. I hope, sir, I will do, as it shall become one that would do reason. Eva. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies, you must speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her. Shal. That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her? Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason. Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz: what I do, is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid? Slen. I will marry her, sir, at your request; but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are married, and have more occasion to know one another. I hope. upon familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you say, "marry her," I will marry her; that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely. Era. It is a fery discretion answer; save, the fault in the 'ort dissolutely: the 'ort is, according to our meaning, resolutely.-His meaning is good. Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well. Sten. Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la. Shal. Here comes fair mistress Anne.-Would I Were young, for your sake, mistress Anne! Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worship's company. Shal. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne. grace. Anne. The dinner attends you, sir. Anne. I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit, till you come. Slen. I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did. Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in. Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised my shin the other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence, (three veneys for a dish of stewed prunes) and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town? [Dogs bark. Anne. I think, there are, sir; I heard them talked of. Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it as any man in England. You are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not? Anne. Ay, indeed, sir. Slen. That's meat and drink to me, now: I have seen Sackerson loose, twenty times, and have taken him by the chain; but, I warrant you, the women have so cried and shriek'd at it, that it pass'd: but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favoured rough things. Re-enter PAGE. Page. Come, gentle master Slender, come; we stay for you. Slen. I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir. Page. By cock and pye, you shall not choose, sir. Come, come. Slen. Nay; pray you, lead the way. Slen. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first. Slen. Truly, I will not go first: truly, la, I will not do you that wrong. Anne. I pray you, sir. Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly, than troublesome. You do yourself wrong, indeed, la. SCENE II.-The Same. [Exeunt. Enter Sir HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE. which is the way; and there dwells one mistress Eva. Go your ways, and ask of doctor Caius' house, Quickly, which is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer, and his wringer. Sim. Well, sir. it is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance with misEva. Nay, it is petter yet.-Give her this letter; for tress Anne Page: and the letter is, to desire and require her to solicit your master's desires to mistress Anne Page: I pray you, be gone. I will make an end of my dinner: there's pippins and cheese to come. [Exeunt. SCENE III-A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter FALSTAFF, Host, BARDOLPH. NYM, PISTOL, and ROBIN. Fal. Mine host of the Garter! Host. What says my bully-rook? Speak scholarly, and wisely. Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers. Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot. Fal. I sit at ten pounds a-weck. Sien. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth.-Go, #rah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon my cousin Shallow. [Exit SIMPLE.] A justice of peace sometime Host. Thou 'rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and may be beholding to his friend for a man.-I keep but Pheazar. I will entertain Bardolph: he shall draw, three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead; but he shall tap: said I well, bully Hector? what though? yet I live like a poor gentleman born. Fal. Do so, good mine host. command: in fe. 2 Not in f. e. A famous bear, often baited at Paris Garden. ⚫ expression. • A sharper. Host. I have spoke; let him follow.-Let me see thee froth, and lime': I am at a word; follow. [Exit Host. Fal. Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade: an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered servingman, a fresh tapster. Go; adieu. Bard. It is a life that I have desired. I will thrive. [Exit BARDOLPH. Pist. O base Gongarian' wight! wilt thou the spigot wield? Nym. He was gotten in drink: is not the humour conceited? His mind is not heroic, and there's the humour of it. Fal. I am glad I am so acquit of this tinder-box: his thefts were too open; his filching was like an unskilful singer, he kept not time. Nym. The good humour is to steal at a minim's' rest. Pist. Convey the wise it call. Steal? foh! a fico for the phrase! Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels. Pist. Why then, let kibes ensue. Fal. There is no remedy; I must coney-catch, I must shift. Pist. Young ravens must have food. Fal. Which of you know Ford of this town? Fal. No quips now, Pistol. Indeed I am in the waist two yards about; but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife I spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she craves, she gives the leer of invitation: I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be Englished rightly, is, "I am sir John Falstaff's." Pist. He hath studied her will, and translated her well; out of honesty into English. Nym. The anchor is deep will that humour pass? Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her husband's purse; he nath a legion of angels. Pist. As many devils entertain, and "To her, boy," say I. Nym. The humour rises; it is good: humour me the angels. Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her; and here another to Page's wife, who even now gave me good eyes too, examin'd my parts with most judicious œiliads sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly. Pist. Then did the sun on dunghill shine. Fal. O! she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning glass. Here's another letter to her: she bears the purse too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and beauty. I will be cheater to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me: they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to mistress Ford. We will thrive, lads, we will thrive. Pist. Shall I sir Pandarus of Troy become, And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all ! Nym. I will run no base humour: here, take the humour-letter. I will keep the 'haviour of reputation. And high and low" beguile the rich and poor. [venge. Nym. I have operations, which be humours of rePist. Wilt thou revenge? Nym. By welkin, and her stars.13 Nym. With both the humours, I: I will discuss the humour of this love to Page." His dove will prove, his gold will hold, And his soft couch defile. Nym. My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to deal with poison; I will possess him with yellowness, for the revolt of mine is dangerous: that is my true humour. Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents: I second thee; troop on. [Exeunt. SCENE IV-A Room in Dr. CAIUS's House. Enter Mrs. QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and JOHN RUGBY. Quick. What, John Rugby!—I pray thee, go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, master doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i' faith, and find any body in the house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience, and the king's English. Rug. I'll go watch. [Exit RUGBY. Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for 't soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire.-An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale, nor no breed-bate15: his worst fault is, that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish that way, but nobody but has his fault; but let that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is? Sim. Ay, for fault of a better. Quick. And master Slender 's your master? Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover's paring-knife? Sim. No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard; a Cain-coloured beard." Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not? Sim. Ay, forsooth; but he is as tall a man of his hands, as any is between this and his head: he hath fought with a warrener. Quick. How say you?-O! I should remember him: does he not hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait? : Froth beer by putting in soap, adding lime to sack to make it foam. Some read: Hungarian, ie, Bohemian or gipsy. minute's in f. e. carves in f. e. 5 will in f. e. An old coin. 7 bounty in f. e. Escheator, an office of the Exchequer. A small vessel; the word is often used for a go-between. 10 The folios and some of the fe honour 11 Cant terms for dice. 12 Sizpence. 13 star in f. e. 14 Knight, following the folio of 1623 transposes these names. 15 Debate 16 Silly. 17 The quartos have cane-colored-Csin was painted in old tapestries with a yellow beard Fine. Quick. We shall all be shent. Run in here, good great charge: and to be up early and down late ;--but young man; go into this closet. [Shuts SIMPLE in the notwithstanding, to tell you in your ear, (I would have closet. He will not stay long.-What, John Rugby! no words of it) my master himself is in love with misJohn, what, John, I say!-Go, John, go inquire for my tress Anne Page: but notwithstanding that, I know master; [Exit RUGBY.] I doubt, he be not well, that Anne's mind; that's neither here nor there. he comes not home:-" and down, down, adown-a," [Sings. &c. Enter Doctor CAIUS. Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys. Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier terd; a box, a green-a box; do intend vat I speak? a green-a box. Quick. Ay, forsooth; I'll fetch it you. [Aside.] I am glad he went not in himself: if he had found the young man, he would have been horn-mad. Caius. You jack’nape, give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh By gar, it is a shallenge: I vill cut his troat in de park; and I vill teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make.-You may be gone; it is not good you tarry here:-by gar, I vill cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to trow at his dog. [Exit SIMPLE. Quick. Alas! he speaks but for his friend. Caius. It is no matter-a for dat :-do not you tell-a me, dat I shall have Anne Page for myself?-By gar, I Caius. Fe. fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait ford chaud. Je vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine m'en vais à la cour,-la grande affaire. Quick. Is it this, sir? Carus. Oui; mette le au mon pocket; dépêche, quickly. -Vere is dat knave Rugby? Quick. What, John Rugby! John! Rug. Here, sir. [Enter RUGBY. Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby: come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court. Rug. 'T is ready, sir, here in the porch. Carus. By my trot, I tarry too long.-Od's me! Qu'ai oublié ? dere is some simples in my closet, dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind. [Going to it." Quick. [Aside.] Ah me! he'll find the young man there, and be mad. Caius. O diable, diable! vat is in my closet?-Villainy! larron! [Dragging SIMPLE out.] Rugby, my rapier! Quick. Good master, be content. Caius. Verefore shall I be content-a? Quick. I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth of it: he came of an errand to me from parson Hugh. Caius. Vell. Sim. Ay. forsooth, to desire her to Quick. Peace, I pray you. Caius. Peace-a your tongue !-Speak-a your tale. Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to mistress Anne Page for my master, in the way of marriage. Quick. This is all. indeed. la ; but I'll ne'er put my finger in the fire, and need not. Caius. Sir Hugh send-a you?-Rugby, baillez me some paper: tarry you a littel-a while. [Writes. Quick. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him so loud, and so melancholy-But notwithstanding, man, I'll do you your master what good I can: and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master,-I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself. Sim. 'Tis a great charge, to come under one body's band. Host of de Jarretière to measure our weapon.-By gar, Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be [Exeunt CAIUS and RUGBY. Quick. You shall have An fool's-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do, nor can do more than I do with her. I thank heaven. Fent. [Within.] Who's within there, ho? I Quick. Who's there, I trow? Come near the house, pray you. Enter FENTON. Fent. How now, good woman! how dost thou ? Quick. The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask. Fent. What news? how does pretty mistress Anne? Quick. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it. Fent. Shall I do any good, think'st thou? Shall I not lose my suit? Quick. Troth, sir, all is in his hands above; but notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book, she loves you.-Have not your worship a wart above your eye? Fent. Yes, marry, have I; what of that? Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale.-Good faith, it is such another Nan ;-but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread :—we had an hour's talk of that wart. -I shall never laugh but in that maid's company;but, indeed, she is given too much to allicholly and musing. But for you-well, go to. Fent. Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there's money for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if thou seest her before me, commend me Quick. Will I! i' faith, that I' will; and I will tell your worship more of the wart, the next time we have confidence, and of other wooers. Fent. Well, farewell; I am in great haste now. [Erit. Quick. Farewell to your worship.-Truly, an honest gentleman; but Anne loves him not, for I know Anne's mind as well as another does.-Out upon 't! what have Quick. Are you avis'd o' that? you shall find it a│I forgot? iScolded * Knight's ed.: thy 34 Not in fe. • Pulling: in f. e. 7 we: in f. e. [Exit. |