delberg's concurrence. But, in case of her approbation Ster. Ay, I grant you, if my sister approved. But that's quite another thing, you know[To MRS HEIDElberg. Mrs Heid. Your sister approve, indeed! I thought you knew her better, brother Sterling! What! approve of having your eldest daughter returned upon your hands, and exchanged for the younger! I am surprised how you could listen to such a scandalous proposal. Ster. I tell you, I never did listen to it. Did not I say, that I would be entirely governed by my sister, sir John? And, unless she agreed to your marrying Fanny Ster. Nothing. Sir John. What! must our agreement break off the moment it is made, then? Ster. It can't be helped, sir John. The family, as I told you before, have great expectations from my sister; and if this matter proceeds, you hear yourself, that she threatens to leave us. My brother Heidelberg was a warm man-a very warm man; and died worth a plumb at least; a plumb! ay, I warrant you, he died worth a plumb and a half. Sir John. Well; but if I Sir John. I can only say, sir Mrs Heid. I agree to his marrying Fanny!abominable! The man is absolutely out of his Ster. And then, my sister has three or four senses. Can't that wise head of yours foresee very good mortgages, a deal of money in the the consequence of all this, brother Sterling-three per cents, and old South-Sea annuities; Will sir John take Fanny without a fortune?-besides large concerns in the Dutch and French No! After you have settled the largest part of funds. The greatest part of all this she means your property on your youngest daughter, can to leave to our family. there be an equal portion left for the eldest?No! Does not this overturn the whole systum of the fammaly? Yes, yes, yes! You know I was always for my niece Betsey's marrying a person of the very first qualaty. That was my maxum: and, therefore, much the largest settlement was, of course, to be made upon her. As for Fanny, if she could, with a fortune of twenty or thirty thousand pounds, get a knight, or a member of parliament, or a rich common council-man for a husband, I thought it might do very well. Sir John. But if a better match should offer itself, why should it not be accepted, madam? Mrs Heid. What! at the expence of her eider sister? O fie, sir John! How could you bear to hear such an indignity, brother Sterling? Ster. I! Nay, I shan't hear of it, I promise you I can't hear of it, indeed, sir John. Mrs Heid. But you have heard of it, brother Sterling. You know you have; and sent sir John to propose it to me. But if you can give up your daughter, I shan't forsake my niece, I assure you. Ah! if my poor dear Mr Heidelberg and our sweet babes had been alive, he would not have behaved so. Ster. Did I, sir John?--Nay, speak!Bring me off, or we are ruined. [Apart to SIR JOHN. Sir John. Why, to be sure, to speak the truth Mirs Heid. To speak the truth, I'm ashamed of you both. But have a care what you are about, brother! have a care, I say. The counsellors are in the house, I hear; and if every thing is not settled to my liking, I'll have nothing more to say to you, if I live these hundred years. -I'll go over to Holland, and settle with Mr Vanderspracken, my poor husband's first cousin, and my own fammaly shall never be the better for a farden of my money, I promise you. [Exit.] Ster. Why, your offer of the difference of thirty thousand was very fair and handsome, to be sure, sir John. Sir John. Nay, but I am even willing to Ster. Ay, but if I was to accept it against her will, I might lose above a hundred thousand; so, you see the balance is against you, sir John. Sir John. But is there no way, do you think, of prevailing on Mrs Heidelberg to grant her consent? However, when Ster. I am afraid not. her passion is a little abated-for she's very passionate-you may try what can be done: but you must not use my naine any more, sir John. Sir John. Suppose I was to prevail on Lord Ogleby to apply to her, do you think that would have any influence over her? Ster. I think he would be more likely to persuade her to it than any other person in the family. She has a great respect for Lord Ogleby. She loves a lord. Sir John. I'll apply to him this very day.-And if he should prevail on Mrs Heidelberg, I may depend on your friendship, Mr Sterling? Ster. Ay, ay; I shall be glad to oblige you, when it is in my power; but, as the account stands now, you see it is not upon the figures. And so, your servant, sir John. [Exit. Sir John. What a situation am I in!-Breaking off with her whom I was bound by treaty to marry; rejected by the object of my affections; and embroiled with this turbulent woman, who governs the whole family. And yet opposition, instead of smothering, increases my inclination. I must have her. I'll apply immediately to lord Ogleby; and if he can but bring over the aunt to our party, her influence will overcome the scruples and delicacy of my dear Fanny, and I shall be the happiest of mankind. [Exit. ACT IV. SCENE I. A Room. Ster. But consider, sister, at such a time as this, what an odd appearance it will have. Mrs Heid. Not half so odd as her behaviour, brother. This time was intended for happiness, and I'll keep no incendiaries here to destroy it. I insist on her going off to-morrow morning. Ster. I'm afraid this is all your doing, Betsy. Miss Ster. No, indeed, papa. My aunt knows that it is not. For all Fanny's baseness to me, I am sure I would not do or say any thing to hurt her with you or my aunt for the world. Mrs Heid. Hold your tongue, Betsey; I will have my way. When she is packed off, every thing will go on as it should do.- -Since they are at their intrigues, I'll let them see that we can act with vigour on our part; and the sending her out of the way, shall be the purliminary step to all the rest of my perceedings. Ster. Well, but sister Mrs Heid. It does not signify talking, brother Sterling; for I'm resolved to be rid of her, and I will.- -Come along, child. [To MISS STERLING.] The post-shay shall be at the door by six o'clock in the morning; and if Miss Fanny does not get into it, why, I will-and so there's an end of the matter. [Bounces out with Miss STERLING; then returns.] One word more, bro- | ther Sterling. I expect that you will take your eldest daughter in your hand, and make a formal complaint to Lord Ogleby, of sir John Melvil's behaviour.--Do this, brother;--shew a proper regard for the honour of your fammaly yourself, and I shall throw in my mite to the raising of it. If not but now you know my mind. So act as you please, and take the consequences. [Exit. Ster. The devil's in the women for tyranny! -Mothers, wives, mistresses, or sisters, they always will govern us. As to my sister Heidelberg, she knows the strength of her purse, and domineers upon the credit of it.I will do this,' and you shall do that,' and 'you shall do t'other, or else the fammaly sha'n't have a farden of '-[Mimicking.]— -So absolute with her money!-But, to say the truth, nothing but money can make us absolute; and so we must e'en make the best of her. [Exit. SCENE II.-Changes to the Garden. Enter LORD OGLEBY, and CANTON. Lord Ogle. What! Mademoiselle Fanny to be sent away!-Why?-Wherefore? What's the meaning of all this? Can. Je ne sçais pas-I know nothing of it. Lord Ogle. It can't be-it shan't be :-I protest against the measure. She's a fine girl, and I had much rather that the rest of the family were annihilated, than that she should leave us. -Her vulgar father, that's the very abstract of 'Change-alley-the aunt, that's always endea vouring to be a fine lady-and the pert sister, for ever shewing that she is one, are horrid company indeed, and, without her, would be intolerable. Ah, la petite Fanchon! she's the thing: Isn't she, Canton? Can. Dere is very good sympatie entre vous and dat young lady, mi lor. Lord Ogle. I'll not be left among these Goths and Vandals, your Sterlings, your Heidelbergs, and Devilbergs-if she goes, I'll positively go, too. Can. In de same post-chay, mi lor? You have no objection to dat, I believe, nor mademoiselle neither, too-ha, ha, ha! Lord Ogle. Prithee, hold thy foolish tongue, Canton. Does thy Swiss stupidity imagine that I can see and talk with a fine girl without desires! My eyes are involuntarily attracted by beautiful objects-I fly as naturally to a fine girl Can. As de fine girl to you, my lor, ha, ha, ha! You alway fly togedere like un pair de pigeons Lord Ogle. Like un pair de pigeons-[ Mocks him.]-Vous etes un sot, Mons. Canton---Thou art always dreaming of my intrigues, and never seest me badiner, but you suspect mischief, you old fool, you. Can. I am fool, I confess, but not always fool in dat, my lor, he, he, he! Lord Ogle. He, he, he! Thou art incorrigible, but thy absurdities amuse one. Thou art like my rappee here,--[Takes out his bor.]---a most ridiculous superfluity, but a pinch of thee, now and then, is a most delicious treat. Can. You do me great honeur, mi lor. Lord Ogle. 'Tis fact, upon my soul! Thou art properly my cephalic snuff, and art no bad medicine against megrims, vertigoes, and profound thinking--Ha, ha, ha! Can. Your flatterie, my lor, vil make me too prode. Lord Ogle. The girl has some little partiality for me, to be sure: but prithee, Canton, is not that Miss Fanny yonder? Can. [Looking with a glass.]--En verité, 'tis d'amour! key. Lord Ogle. Don't be ridiculous, you old mon[Smiling. Can. I am monkee, I am ole, but I have eye, I have ear, and a little understand, now and den. she, my lor--'tis one of de pigeons---de pigeons | To-morrow morning is fixed for your departure, and, if we lose this opportunity, we may wish in vain for another. He approaches--I must retire. Speak, my dear Fanny; speak, and make us happy! [Erit LOVEWELL. Fun. Good Heaven! What a situation am I in! What shall I do? What shall I say to him? I am all confusion. Lord Ogle. Taisez vous, béte. Can. Elle vous attend, my lor. She vil make a love to you. Lord Ogle. Will she? Have at her, then! A fine girl cannot oblige me more--- -Egad, I find myself a little enjoué---Come along, Cant! she is but in the next walk--but there is such a deal of this damned crinkum-crankum, as Sterling calls it, that one sees people for half an hour before one can get to them-Allons, Mons. Canton, allons, donc! [Exeunt, singing in French. SCENE III.--Another part of the garden. Enter LovEWELL and FANNY. Love. My dear Fanny, I cannot bear your distress! It overcomes all my resolutions, and I am prepared for the discovery. Fan. But how can it be effected before my departure? Love. I'll tell you. Lord Ogleby seems to entertain a visible partiality for you; and, notwithstanding the peculiarities of his behaviour, I am sure that he is humane at the bottom. He is vain to an excess; but, withal, extremely good-natured, and would do any thing to recommend himself to a lady. Do you open the whole affair of our marriage to him immediately. It will come with more irresistible persuasion from you, than from myself; and I doubt not but you'll gain his friendship and protection at once. His influence and authority will put an end to sir John's solicitations, remove your aunt's and sister's unkindness and suspicions, and, I hope, reconcile your father and the whole family to our marriage. Fan. Heaven grant it! Where is my lord? Love. I have heard him and Canton, since dinner, singing French songs under the great walnut tree, by the parlour-door. If you meet with him in the garden, you may disclose the whole immediately. Fun. Dreadful as the task is, I'll do it. Any thing is better than this continual anxiety. Love. By that time the discovery is made, I will appear to second you. Ha! here comes my lord. Now, my dear Fanny, summon up all your spirits, plead our cause powerfully, and be [Going. sure of success. Fan. Ah, don't leave me ! Love. Nay, you must let me. Fun. Well, since it must be so, I'll obey you, if I have the power. Oh, Lovewell! Love. Consider, our situation is very critical. Enter LORD OGLEBY and CANTON. Lord Ogle. To see so much beauty so solitary, madam, is a satire upon mankind, and 'tis fortunate that one man has broke in upon your reverie, for the credit of our sex. I say one, madam; for poor Canton here, from age and infirmities, stands for nothing. Can. Noting at all, indeed. Fan. Your lordship does me great honour. I had a favour to request, my lord! Lord Ogle. A favour, madam! To be honoured with your commands, is an inexpressible favour done to me, madam. Fan. If your lordship could indulge me with the honour of a moment's--What is the matter with me? [Aside. Lord Ogle. The girl's confused!---he !---here's something in the wind, faith--I'll have a tete-atete with her-Allez vous en ! [TO CANTON. Can. I go-Ah, pauvre Mademoiselle! my lor, have pitie upon the poor pigeone! Lord Ogle. I'll knock you down, Cant. if you're impertinent. [Smiling. Can. Den I mus away-[Shuffles along. You are mosh please, for all dat. [Aside, and exit. Fan. I shall sink with apprehension. [Aside. Lord Ogle. What a sweet girl-she's a civilized being, and atones for the barbarism of the rest of the family. Fan. My lord!-I [She curtsies, and blushes. Lord Ogle. [Addressing her.]—I look upon it, madam, to be one of the luckiest circumstances of my life, that I have this moment the honour of receiving your commands, and the satisfaction of confirming, with my tongue, what my eyes perhaps, have but too weakly expressed--that I am literally-the humblest of your servants. Fan. I think myself greatly honoured by your lordship's partiality to me; but it distresses me, that I am obliged, in my present situation, to apply to it for protection. Lord Ogle. I am happy in your distress, madam, because it gives me an opportunity to shew my zeal. Beauty, to me, is a religion in which I was born and bred a bigot, and would die a martyr. I am in tolerable spirits, faith!. [Aside. Fan. There is not, perhaps, at this moment, a more distressed creature than myself. Affection, duty, hope, despair, and a thousand different sentiments, are struggling in my bosom; and even the presence of your lordship, to whom I have flown for protection, adds to my perplexity. Lord Ogle. Does it, madam?-Venus forbid ! -My old fault; the devil's in me, I think, for perplexing young women.-[Aside, and smiling.] -Take courage, madam! dear Miss Fanny, explain. You have a powerful advocate in my breast, I assure you-My heart, madam-I am | attached to you by all the laws of sympathy and delicacy. By my honour, I am! Fan. Then I will venture to unburthen my mind-Sir John Melvil, my lord, by the most misplaced and mistimed declaration of affection for me, has made me the unhappiest of women. Lord Ogle. How, madam! Has sir John made his addresses to you? Fan. He has, my lord, in the strongest terms. But I hope it is needless to say, that my duty to my father, love to my sister, and regard to the whole family, as well as the great respect I entertain for your lordship, [Curtseying.] made me shudder at his addresses. Lord Ogle. Charming girl! Proceed, my dear Miss Fanny, proceed! Fan. In a moment-give me leave, my lord! -But if what I have to disclose should be received with anger or displeasure Lord Ogle. Impossible, by all the tender powers!-Speak, I beseech you, or I shall divine the cause before vou utter it. Fan. Then, my lord, sir John's addresses are not only shocking to me in themselves, but are more particularly disagrecable to me at this time [Hesitating. -as-as Lord Ogle. As what, madam? Fan. As-pardon my confusion-I an entirely devoted to another. Lord Ogle. If this is not plain, the devil's in it-[Aside.] But tell me, my dear Miss Fanny, for I must know; tell me the how, the when, and the whereTell me softer passions, the criminal is pardoned and disnissed. Let us return, madam, to the highest luxury of exalted minds-a declaration of love from the lips of beauty. Fan. The entrance of a third person has a little relieved me, but I cannot go through with it; and yet I must open my heart with a discovery, or it will break with its burthen. Lord Ogle. What passion in her eyes! I am alarmed to agitation! [Aside.] I presume, madam, (and as you have flattered me, by making me a party concerned, I hope you'll excuse the presumption) that Fun. Do you excuse my making you a party concerned, my lord, and let me interest your heart in my behalf, as my future happiness or misery in a great measure depend— Lord Ogle. Upon me, madam? [Sighs. Lord Ogle. There's no standing this: I have caught the infection--her tenderness dissolves me. [Sighs. Fan. And should you too severely judge of a rash action which passion prompted, and modesty has long concealed Lord Ogle. [Taking her hand.] Thou amiable creature, command my heart, for it is vanquished! Speak but thy virtuous wishes, and enjoy them. Fan. I cannot, my lord; indeed, I cannot. Mr Lovewell must tell you my distresses; and when you know them, pity and protect me. [Exit in tears. Lord Ogle. How the devil could I bring her to this? It is too much-too much-I can't bear it-I must give way to this amiable weakness. [Wipes his eyes. My heart overflows with sympathy, and I feel every tenderness I have inspired. [Stifles a tear.] How blind have I been to the desolation I have made! How could I possibly imagine that a little partial attention and tender civilities to this young creature should have gathered to this burst of passion! Can I be a man, and withstand it? No--I'll sacrifice the whole sex to her. But here comes the father, quite apropos. I'll open the matter immediately, settle the business with him, and take the sweet girl down to Ogleby House to-morrow morning. But what the devil! Miss Sterling, too! What mischief's in the wind now? Enter MR STERLING and MISS STERLING. Ster. My lord, your servant! I am attending my daughter here upon rather a disagreeable affair. Speak to his lordship, Betsey. Lord Ogle. Your eyes, Miss Sterling-for I always read the eyes of a young lady-betray some little emotion. What are your commands, madam? Miss Ster. I have but too much cause for my emotion, my lord! Lord Ogle. I cannot commend my kinsman's behaviour, madam. He has behaved like a false knight, I must confess. I have heard of his apostasy. Miss Fanny has informed me of it. Miss Ster. Miss Fanny's baseness has been the cause of sir John's inconstancy. Lord Ogle. Nay, now, my dear Miss Sterling, your passion transports you too far. Sir John may have entertained a passion for Miss Fanny; but, believe me, my dear Miss Sterling, believe me, Miss Fanny has no passion for sir John. She has a passion, indeed, a most tender passion. She has opened her whole soul to me, and I know where her affections are placed. [Conceitedly. Miss Ster. Not upon Mr Lovewell, my lord; for I have great reason to think that her seeming attachment to him, is, by his consent, made use of as a blind to cover her designs upon sir John. Lord Ogle. Lovewell! No, poor lad! she does not think of him. [Smiling. Miss Ster. Have a care, my lord, that both the families are not made the dupes of sir John's artifice, and my sister's dissimulation! You don't know her; indeed, my lord, you don't know her; a base, insinuating, perfidious-It is too much— She has been beforehand with me, I perceive. Such unnatural behaviour to me! But since I see I can have no redress, I am resolved that some way or other I will have revenge. [Exit. Ster. This is foolish work, my lord! Lord Ogle. I have too much sensibility to bear the tears of beauty. Ster. It is touching, indeed, my lord; and very moving for a father. Lord Ogle. To be sure, sir! You must be distressed beyond measure! Wherefore, to divert your too exquisite feeling, suppose we change the subject, and proceed to business. Ster. With all my heart, my lord. Lord Ogle. Why, what will they say! Ster. That you're a bold man, my lord; that's all. Lord Ogle. Mr Sterling, this may be city wit, for aught I know. Do you court my alliance? Ster. To be sure, my lord. Lord Ogle. Then I'll explain-My nephew won't marry your eldest daughter: nor I neither -Your youngest daughter won't marry him: I will marry your youngest daughter. Ster. What! with a youngest daughter's fortune, my lord? Lord Ogle. With any fortune, or no fortune at all, sir. Love is the idol of my heart, and the demon, Interest, sinks before him. So, sir, as I said before, I will marry your youngest daughter; your youngest daughter will marry me. Ster. Who told you so, my lord? Lord Ogle. Yes, sir; our affection is mutual; your advantage double and treble; your daughter will be a countess directly-I shall be the happiest of beings; and you'll be father to an earl instead of a baronet. Ster. But what will my sister say? and my daughter? Lord Ogle. I'll manage that matter; nay, if they won't consent, I'll run away with your daughter in spite of you. Ster. Well said, my lord! your spirit's good; I wish you had my constitution! but if you'll venture, I have no objection, if my sister has none. Lord Ogle. I'll answer for your sister, sir— Apropos! the lawyers are in the house. I'll have articles drawn, and the whole affair concluded to-morrow morning. Ster. Very well! and I'll dispatch Lovewell to London immediately for some fresh papers I shall want, and I shall leave you to manage mat Lord Ogle. You see, Mr Sterling, we can make no union in our families by the proposed marriage. Ster. And I am very sorry to see it, my lord. Lord Ogle. Have you set your heart upon be-ters with my sister. You must excuse me, my ing allied to our house, Mr Sterling? lord, but I can't help laughing at the matchHe, he, he! what will the folks say? Ster. 'Tis my only wish at present, my omnium, as I may call it. Lord Ogle. Your wishes shall be fulfilled. Lord Ogle. You throw me into a cold sweat, Mr Sterling! No, not your sister; but your daughter. Ster. My daughter! [Exit. Lord Ogle. What a fellow am I going to make a father of? He has no more feeling than the post in his warehouse-But Fanny's virtues tune me to rapture again, and I won't think of the rest of the family. Enter LOVEWELL, hastily. Love. I beg your lordship's pardon, my lord: are you alone, my lord? Lord Ogle. No, my lord, I am not alone; I am in company, the best company. Love. My lord! |