Mir. O, you toad! what have you done? Mar. No great harm; I beg of you to forgive me: Longing to see the monkey, I did but just raise up the board, and it flew over my shoulders, scratched all my face, broke yon china, and whisked out of the window. Sir Fran. Where, where is it, sirrah? Mar. There, there, sir Francis, upon your neighbour Parmazan's pantiles. Sir Fran. Was ever such an unlucky rogue! Sirrah, I forbid you my house. Call the servants to get the monkey again. Pug, Pug, Pug! I would stay myself to look for it, but that you know my earnest business. Scent. Oh, my lady will be best to lure it Enter PATCH. How do ye, Mrs Patch? What news from your lady? Patch. Charles. Mar. Ha! then there's something a-foot that I know nothing of. I'll wait on you, sir George. Sir Geo. A third person may not be proper, perhaps. As soon as I have dispatched my own affairs, I am at his service. I'll send my servant to tell him I'll wait on him in half an hour. Mir. How came you employed in this mes back all them creatures love my lady extreme-sage, Mrs Patch? ly. : Patch. Want of business, madam; I am Mir. Go, go, dear Gardy! I hope I shall re-discharged by my master, but hope to serve my cover it. lady still. Mir. How! discharged! you must tell me the whole story within. Patch. With all my heart, madam. Mar. Tell it here, Mrs Patch. Pish, Pox! I wish I were fairly out of the house. I find mar[Exit SCENT.riage is the end of this secret; and now I am half mad to know what Charles wants him for. Mir. So, sir, you have done your friend a signal piece of service, I suppose? Mar. Why, look you, madam, if I have committed a fault, thank yourself; no man is more serviceable when I am let into a secret, and none more unlucky at finding it out. Who could divine your meaning? when you talked of a blunderbuss, who thought of a rendezvous? and when you talked of a monkey, who the devil dreamt of sir George? Mir. A sign you converse but little with our sex, when you can't reconcile contradictions. Enter SCENTWell. Scent. He's gone, madam, as fast as the coach and six can carry him Enter SIR GEORGE. Sir Geo. Then I may appear. Mar. Here's Pug, ma'am-Dear sir George! make my peace. On my soul I never took you for a monkey before! Sir Geo. I dare sware thou didst not. Madam, I beg you to forgive him. Mir. Well, sir George, if he can be secret. Mar. 'Odsheart, madam! I'm as secret as a priest, when trusted. Sir Geo. Why, 'tis with a priest our business is at present. Scent. Madam, here's Mrs Isabinda's woman to wait on you. Mir. Bring her up. [Aside. Sir Geo. Madam, I'm doubly pressed by love and friendship. This exigence admits of no delay. Shall we make Marplot of the party? Mir. If you'll run the hazard, sir George; I believe he means well. Mar. Nay, nay; for my part, I desire to be let into nothing; I'll be gone; therefore, pray don't mistrust me. [Going. Sir Geo. So, now he has a mind to be gone to Charles: but not knowing what affairs he may have upon his hands at present-I'm resolved he shan't stir. No, Mr Marplot, you must not leave us; we want a third person. [Takes hold of him. Mar. I never had more mind to be gone in my life. Mir. Come along, then; if we fail in the voyage, thank yourself for taking this ill-starred gentleman on board. Sir Geo. That vessel ne'er can unsuccessful prove, Whose freight is beauty, and whose pilot's love. [Exit SIR GEORGE and MIRANDA. Mar. Tyty ti, tyty ti. [Steals off the other way. Re-enter SIR GEORGE, Sir Geo. Marplot! Marplot! Mar. [Entering.] Here! I was coming, sir George. Lord, can't you let one tie up one's garter? [Exeunt. SCENE L ACT V. Enter MIRANDA, PATCH, and SCENTWELL. Mir. WELL, Patch, I have done a strange bold thing; my fate is determined, and expectation is no more. Now, to avoid the impertinence and roguery of an old man, I have thrown myself into the extravagance of a young one: if he should despise, slight, or use me ill, there's no remedy froin a husband but the grave; and that's a terrible sanctuary to one of my age and constitution. Patch. O! fear not, madam; you'll find your account in sir George Airy; it is impossible a man of sense should use a woman ill, eudued with beauty, wit, and fortune. It must be the lady's fault, if she does not wear the unfashionable name of wife easy, when nothing but complaisance and good humour is requisite on either side to make them happy. Mir. I long till I am out of this house, lest any accident should bring my guardian back. Scentwell, put my best jewels into the little casket, slip them into thy pocket, and let us march off to sir Jealous's. Scent. It shall be done, madam. [Exit SCENT. Patch. Sir George will be impatient, madam. If their plot succeeds, we shall be well received;: if not, he will be able to protect us. Besides, I long to know how my young lady fares. Mir. The wench is a fool, I think! could you not have carried it to be mended without putting it in the box? Sir Fran. What's the matter? Mir. Only, dearee! I bid her, I bid herYour ill usage has put every thing out of my head. But won't you go, Gardy, and find out these fellows, and have them punished?-and, and Sir Fran. Where should I look for them, child? no, I'll sit me down contented with my safety, nor stir out of my own doors till I go with thee to a parson. Mir. [Aside.] If he goes into his closet I am ruined. Oh bless me ! in this fright I had forgot Mrs Patch. Patch. Aye, madam; and I stay for your speedy answer. Mir. [Aside.] I must get him out of the house. Now, assist me, Fortune! Sir Fran. Mrs Patch! I profess I did not see you: how dost thou do, Mrs Patch? Well, don't you repent leaving my Chargy? Patch. Yes, every body inust love her-but I come now- -Madam, what did I come for? my invention is at the last ebb. [Aside to MIRANDA, Sir Fran. Nay, never whisper; tell me. Mir. She came, dear Gardy! to invite me to her lady's wedding, and you shall go with me, Gardy; 'tis to be done this moment, to a SpaInish merchant. Old sir Jealous keeps on his humour; the first minute he sees her, the next he marries her. Mir. Farewell old Mammon, and thy detested walls! 'Twill be no more sweet sir Francis! shall be compelled the odious task of dissembling no longer to get my own, and coax him with the wheedling names of my precious, my dear, dear Gardy! Ö Heavens ! Enter SIR FRANCIS behind. Sir Fran. Ah, my sweet Chargy! don't be frighted [She starts] but thy poor Gardy has been abused, cheated, fooled, betrayed; but nobody knows by whom. Mir. Undone, past redemption ! [Aside]. Sir Fran. What! won't you speak to me, Chargy? Mir. I am so surprised with joy to see you, I know not what to say. Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha, ha! I'd go, if I thought the sight of matrimony would tempt Chargy to perform her promise. There was a smile! there was a consenting look, with those pretty twinklers, worth a million! Ods-precious! I am happier than the Great Mogul, the emperor of China, or all the potentates that are not in wars.— Speak, confirm it, make me leap out of my skin! Mir. When one has resolved, 'tis in vain to stand shilly-shally. If ever I marry, positively this is my wedding-day. Sir Fran. Oh! happy, happy man! Verily I will beget a son the first night shall disinherit that dog, Charles. I have estate enough to purchase a barony, and be the immortalizing the whole fa Sir Fran. Poor dear girl! But do you know that my son, or some such rogue, to rob or murder me, or both, contrived this journey? for, up-mily of the Gripes. on the road, I met my neighbour Squeezum well, and coming to town. Mir. Good lack! good lack! what tricks are there in this world! Enter SCENTWELL, with a diamond necklace in her hand, not seeing SIR FRANCIS. Scent. Madam, be pleased to tie this necklace on, for I can't get into the-[Seeing SIR FRANCIS, VOL. II. Mir. Come, then, Gardy; give me thy hand; let's to this house of Hymen. My choice is fixed, let good or ill betide. [Exeunt. Enter SIR JEALOUS, meeting a Servant. Serv. Sir, here's a couple of gentlemen inquire 3 Y for you; one of them calls himself Signior Diego Babinetto. Sir Jeal. Ha! Signior Babinetto! admit them instantly-joyful minute! I'll have my daughter married to-night. Enter CHARLES in a Spanish habit, with SIR Sir Jeal. Nay, I know this town swarms with them. Sir Geo. Aye, and then you know the Spaniards are naturally amorous, but very constant; the first face fixes them; and it may be very dangerous to let him ramble ere he is tied. Cha. Well hinted. Sir Jeal. Pat to my purpose! Well, sir, there is but one thing more, and they shall be married Senhor, beso las manos: vuestra merced es muy instantly. bien venido en esta tierra. Cha. Pray Heaven, that one thing more don't [Aside. Sir Jeal. Don Pedro writ me word, in his last but one, that he designed the sum of five thousand crowns, by way of jointure, for my daughter; and that it should be paid into my hand upon the day of marriage[Aside. Cha. Senhor, soy muy humilde, y muy obliga-spoil all! do cryado de vuestra merced: mi padre embia a vuestra merced, los mas profondos de sus respetos; y a commissionado este mercadel Ingles, de concluyr un negocio, que me haze el mas dichoss hombre del mundo, haziendo me su yerno. Sir Jeal. I am glad on't, for I find I have lost much of my Spanish. Sir, I am your most humble servant. Signior Don Diego Babinetto has informed me that you are commissioned by signior Don Pedro, &c. his worthy father Sir Geo. To see an affair of marriage consummated between a daughter of your's and signior Diego Babinetto his son here. True, sir, such a trust is reposed in me, as that letter will inform you. I hope, 'twill pass upon him.— [Aside.] [Gives him a letter. Sir Jeal. Aye, 'tis his hand. [Seems to read. Sir Geo. Good; you have counterfeited to a nicety, Charles. [Aside to CHARLES. Cha. If the whole plot succeeds as well, I'm happy. Sir Jeal. Sir, I find by this that you are a man of honour and probity; I think, sir, he calls you Meanwell? Sir Geo. Meanwell is my name, sir. Sir Jeal. A very good name, and very significant. Cha. Yes, faith, if he knew all. [Aside. Sir Jeal. For, to mean well, is to be honest; and to he honest, is the virtue of a friend; and a friend is the delight and support of human society. Sir Geo. You shall find that I'll discharge the part of a friend in what I have undertaken, sir Jealous. Cha. But little does he think to whom. [Aside. Sir Geo. Therefore, sir, I must entreat the presence of your fair daughter, and the assistance of your chaplain; for signior Don Pedro strictly enjoined me to see the marriage rites performed as soon as we should arrive, to avoid the accidental overtures of Venus. Sir Jeal. Overtures of Venus! Sir Geo Aye, sir; that is, those little hawking females that traverse the Park and the playhouse to put off their damaged ware-they fasten upon foreigners like leeches, and watch their arrival as carefully as the Kentish men do a shipwreck I warrant you they have heard of him already. Cha. Oh, the devil! Sir Jeal. In order to lodge it in some of our funds, in case she should become a widow, and return for England Sir Geo. Pox on't, this is an unlucky turn!What shall I say? [Aside. Sir Jeal. And he does not mention one word of it in this letter. Cha. I don't know how he should. [Aside. Sir Geo. Humph! True, sir Jealous, he told me such a thing, but, but, but, but-he, he, hehe did not imagine that you would insist upon the very day; for, for, for, for money, you know, is dangerous returning by sea, an, an, an, an Cha. Zounds! say we have brought it in commodities. [Aside to SIR George. Sir Geo. And so, sir, he has sent it in merchandize, tobacco, sugars, spices, lemons, and so forth, which shall be turned into money with all expedition: in the mean time, sir, if you please to accept of my bond for performance Sir Jeal. It is enough, sir; I am so pleased with the countenance of signior Diego, and the harmony of your name, that I'll take your word, and will fetch my daughter this moment. With in there. Enter Servant. Desire Mr Tackum, my neighbour's chaplain, to walk hither. Serv. Yes, sir. [Exit. [Exit. Sir Jeal. Gentlemen, I'll return in an instant. Cha. Wondrous well! let me embrace thee. Sir Geo. Egad, that five thousand crowns had like to have ruined the plot. Cha. But that's over; and if Fortune throws no other rubs in our way Sir Geo. Thou'lt carry the prize-But hist! here he comes. Enter SIR JEALOUS, dragging in ISABINDA. Sir Jeal. Come along, you stubborn baggage you! come along. Isa. Oh! hear me, sir; hear me but speak now, and the whole when I die, but provided she one word: Do not destroy my everlasting peace; Sir Jeal. How's that! Isa. Let this posture move your tender na ture. [Kneels. For ever will I hang upon these knees, Nor loose my hands, till you cut off my hold, If you refuse to hear me, sir. Cha. Oh! that I could discover myself to her! [Aside. Sir Geo. Have a care what you do you had better trust to his obstinacy. [Aside. Sir Jeal. Did you ever see such a perverse slut? Off, I say. Mr Meanwell, pray help me a little. Sir Geo. Rise, madam, and do not disoblige your father, who has provided a husband worthy of you; one that will love you equal with his soul, and one that you will love, when once you know him. Isa. Oh! never, never! Could I suspect that falsehood in my heart, Cha. Oh! my charming, faithful dear! [Aside. Sir Jeal. Falsehood! why, who the devil are you in love with? Don't provoke me; for, by St Iago, I shall beat you, housewife. Cha. Heaven forbid! for I shall infallibly discover myself if he should. Sir Geo. Have patience, madam, and look at him: why will ye prepossess yourself against a man, that is master of all the charms you would desire in a husband. Sir Jeal. Ay, look at him, Isabinda. Senhor pase vind adelante. Cha. My heart bleeds to see her grieve, whom I imagined would with joy receive me. Senhora obligue me vuestra merced de sa mano. Sir Jeal. [Pulling up her head.] Hold up your head, hold up your head, hussy, and look at him. Is there a properer, handsomer, better shaped, fellow in England, ye jade you? Ha! see, see the obstinate baggage shuts her eyes; by St Iago I have a good mind to beat them out. [Pushes her down. Isab. Do then, sir, kill me; kill me instantly; 'Tis much the kinder action of the two, For 'twill be worse than death to wed him. Sir Geo. Sir Jealous, you are too passionate. Give me leave; I'll try, by gentle words, to work her to your purpose. Sir Jeal. I pray do, Mr Meanwell, I pray do; she'll break my heart. [Weeps.] There is, in that, jewels of the value of three thousand pounds, which were her mother's; and a paper, wherein I have settled one half of my estate upon her marries this gentleman; else by St Iago I'll turn her out of doors to beg or starve. Tell her this, Mr Meanwell; pray do. [Walks off. Sir Geo. Ha! this is beyond expectationTrust to me, sir; I'll lay the dangerous consequence of disobeying you at this juncture before her, I warrant you. Cha. A sudden joy runs through my heart, like a propitious omen. [Aside. Sir Geo. Come, madam, do not blindly cast your life away, just in the moment you would wish to save it. Isa. Pray, cease your trouble, sir; I have no wish but sudden death to free me from this hated Spaniard. If you are his friend, inform him what I say; my heart is given to another youth, whom I love with the same strength of passion that I hate this Diego, with whom, if I am forced to wed, my own hand shall cut the Gordian knot. Sir Geo. Suppose this Spaniard, whom you strive to shun, should be the very man to whom you'd fly? Isa. Ha! Sir Geo. Would you not blame your rash resolve, and curse your eyes that would not look on Charles? Isa. On Charles? Oh! you have inspired new life, and collected every wandering sense. Where is he? Oh! let me fly into his arms. [Rises. Sir Geo. Hold, hold, hold! 'Sdeath! madam, you'll ruin all! Your father believes him to be signior Babinetto. Compose yourself a little, pray, madam. [He runs to SIR JEALOUS. Cha. Her eyes declare she knows me. [Aside. Sir Geo. She begins to hear reason, sir; the fear of being turned out of doors has done it. [Runs back to ISABINDA. Isa. 'Tis he! Oh, my ravished soul! Sir Geo. Take heed, madam, you don't betray yourself. Seem with reluctance to consent, or you are undone.[Runs to SIR JEALOUS.] Speak gently to her, sir; I'm sure she'll yield; I see it in her face. Sir Jeal. Well, Isabinda, can you refuse to bless a father, whose only care is to make you happy, as Mr Meanwell has informed you ? Come, wipe thy eyes; nay, prithee, do, or thou wilt break thy father's heart. See, thou bring'st the tears in mine, to think of thy undutiful carriage to me. [Weeps. Isa. Oh, do not weep, sir! your tears are like a poignard to my soul. Do with me what you please; I am all obedience. Sir Jeal. Ha! then thou art my child again. Sir Geo. 'Tis done; and now, friend, the day's thy own. Sir Jeal. Now, Mr Meanwell, let's to the par- head, that you must speak with me before the son, ceremony's past? Ha! who's this? Ser. Why, this gentleman, sir, wants another gentleman in a Spanish habit, he says. Sir Jeal. In a Spanish habit! 'tis some friend of signior Don Diego's, I warrant. Sir, your ser Sir Jeal. I say, I suppose you would speak with signior Babinetto. Mar. Hey day! What the devil does he say now? Sir, I don't understand you. Sir Jeal. Don't you understand Spanish, sir? Sir Jeal. I thought you had known signior Ba binetto. Mar. Not I, upon my word, sir. Sir Jeal. What then, you'd speak with his Enter a servant of SIR JEALOUS's to him, out of friend, the English merchant, Mr Meanwell? the house. Hark'e, sir, do you belong to this house? Ser. Yes, sir. Mar. Isn't your name Richard! Ser. No, sir, Thomas. Mar. Oh, aye, Thomas there's a shilling for you. Ser. Thank you, sir. Mar. Neither, sir, not I; I don't mean any such thing. Sir Jeal. Why, who are you, then, sir? And what do you want? [In an angry tone. Mar. Nay, nothing at all; not I, sir. Pox on -Well, Thomas, him! I wish I were out; he begins to exalt his voice; I shall be beaten again. Mar. Pray, Thomas, can you tell if there be a gentleman in it in a Spanish habit? Ser. There's a Spanish gentleman within, that is just a-going to marry my young lady, sir. Mar. Are you sure he is a Spanish gentleman? Ser. I'm sure he speaks no English that I hear of. Sir Jeal. Nothing at all, sir! Why, then, what business have you in my house? ha! Ser. You said you wanted a gentleman in a Spanish habit. Mar. Why, aye; but his name is neither Babinetto nor Meanwell. Sir Jeal. What is his name, then, sirrah? Ha! Now I look at you again, I believe you are the rogue that threatened me with half-a-dozen myr Mar. Then that cannot be him I want; formidons'tis an English gentleman that I inquire after; he may be dressed like a Spaniard, for aught I know. Ser. Ha! Who knows but this may be an impostor? I'll inform my master; for, if he should be imposed upon, he'll beat us all round.-[Aside.] -Pray, come in, sir, and see if this be the person you inquire for. -Now for't. Mar. Aye, I'll follow you Mar. Me, sir! I never saw your face in all my life, before. Sir Jeal, Speak, sir, who is it you look for? or, or Mar. A terrible old dog! Why, sir, only an honest young fellow of my acquaintance-I thought that here might be a ball, and that he might have been here in masquerade. "Tis Charles, sir Francis Gripe's son, because I knew [Exeunt. he used to come hither sometimes, |