principles wrenched from the circumambience of the Unknown, and hurled into the bosom of consciousness. Nine tailors make one man. A cat has nine times the life of one man, for it has nine lives. Possession, also, is nine points of the law. Behold a legal possession of existence equal to the span of eighty-one clothiers' lives. Let us bow reverently before this august fact. The wanderer by the midnight sea-shore, when the moon—that argent cornucopia of heaven-is streaming forth her flowers and fruit of radiance, and the illimitable is illuminated by the ineffable, will have remarked the phosphorescent ridges that scintillate along the billows' tops, until the breakers seem to curve and snort like horses' necks with manes of lightning clad. So, O man, when, in the darkness of thine own chamber, thou passest thy hand along the furry spine of this feline phantom of the back yard, the electric spark darts forth, and a flash of lightning fuses together the fingers and the fur. Exquisite antithesis of nature ! ocean. The fireside embraces the The hearthstone is paved with sea-shells. The monsters of the deep disport reflected in the glowing embers. The infinite Abroad is brought into amalgamation with the finite At Home. The ocean roars. The cat only purrs. The billows rise and culminate and break. The cat's back rises. The feline tide is up, and we have a permanent billow of fur and flesh. O impossible co-existence of uncontradictory contradictions! The Duke of Wellington was pronounced the greatest captain of his age. General Grant is pronounced the greatest captain of his. The greatest captain of any age was the captain with the whiskers. Let us not call this the tergiversation of history. Call it rather the tergiversation of nature. The whiskers of the captain. The whiskers of the cat. The hirsute exponent of martial supremacy. The feline symbolism of the Bearded Lady crossing her claws before the family fire. Jealousy has been called the green-eyed monster. The cat is the green-eyed monster. Both lie in wait. Neither destroys its victim without toying with it. One is the fox, the other the friend of fireside. is of both sexes. Either "Old Tom" gin in excess is one of man's bitterest bibulous foes; man is the bitterest bibulous foe of old Tom cats. The one puts the bricks into the hand of the second to be shied at the heads of the third. O osculation between sky and earth! O lips of the Seen touching the lips of the Unseen! O wave of thought careering through the asymptotes of cloud-land, crystallizing into angelic foci the tangents of humanity. The stars are out at night. Parodies, like burlesque negro speeches, are rarely inviting on the score of propriety of thought, or good taste in utterance. Among the best of our parodists is Miss Phoebe Cary; but this author does not care to claim her "Martha Hopkins," burlesquing Bayard Taylor's "Emanuela; her "Psalm of Life,” parodying Longfellow's sermon in song of the same name; her travesty of Whittier's "Maud Müller," &c., &c., for, in effect, they are shocking perversions of good taste in humor. Numerous parodies have been made of Poe's "Raven;" but all, without exception, have been vulgar and unseemly. No composition, however, in English Literature has been the original of so many attempts at parody as Longfellow's "Excelsior,"-one of which has already been given [See page 48]. Very few of these are even quotable. The following is barely tolerable, but, affording a good example of the ludicrously serious, we give it. The last or exclamatory line— "Base-Ball!" is also an antithesis, and should be given with a heavy, hoarse tone, in contradistinction with the assumed pathos and feeling of the preceding sentiment. A good specimen of the satirico-humorous is not frequently met with in our literature. The Dow, Jr. "Sermons" are, some of them, very good. This, by a writer in a Western paper, one of a series of "Week-day Sermons," is also quotable for repetition. The student must assume an earnestness of manner not qualified by any consciousness of humor or satire in his words. WEALTH NOT A CRITERION.-Anon. MY DEAR HEARERS: As Cæsar once ear-nestly exclaimed, when et tu Brute wasn't present to second the motion," Lend me your ears!" Not that mine ears are short and yours are long, for that might excite a question for Hic Facet, the coroner, to settle. But, lend me your ears as a missionary box, into which I shall pour something worth more than the cents you too often forget to drop into the world's common property collections. My text you will find in the wise sayings of the Pumpkin Seed Poet, John G. Saxe, of Vermont-a Saxe-on by birth, and a member of the Fat Boys' Club by profession. He writes : Because you flourish in worldly affairs, With insolent pride of station; Don't be proud, and turn up your nose That wealth's a bubble that comes and goes, Now, I presume, judging by the self-complacent expression written on each of your faces-the boy there by the door will please close his mouth, to prevent the janitor from falling down the cellar-that you will say this text does not apply to you; that, on the contrary, it just fits the case of neighbor A. or relative C. This may be true, and if so, I am in error; but, my judgment tells me some of you need what my subject calls for, and if I am not right, it will do no harm, but rather serve as a warning in time to come. Some of you are wealthy, and it is not every wealthy man who refrains from putting on airs; and if observation is a correct guide, the masses of the rich do "Put on airs With insolent pride of station." Some of the little rich ones, worth a few hundred each, are as insolent as the insolent millionaire; but, this is strained haughtiness, and dangerous, as well as ridiculous. If you have a little wealth, you should be modestly thankful for it, put it to a good use, and "Not be proud and turn up your nose, My hearers: The poor man you look over, may some day be as rich as you, "For wealth's a bubble that comes and goes," and then you may "desire, ah, his company, ah, on all ah, public occasions, ah; so, use him as a peer now, in intellectual and moral worth at least, and when you and he stand as peers in wealth as well, your conscience will be less fractured for not having one day considered yourself above him. Do not harbor in your minds the ignominious motto, "that the poor man has no rights which you are bound to respect.” Do not lose sight of the fact that he was born by the same laws you were, nurtured by Nature's hand, and given breath, strength, and intellect. you not know he has feeling as well as you, and when he is afflicted, relief is as sweet to him as to you? When in trouble, Do WEALTH NOT A CRITERION. 61 he asks you to give him assistance, and you turn away, scarcely stooping to look at him, saying: "Go away and get what you want the way I did-work for it; pray tell us whether you got your wealth wholly by work, or did you not have a little assistance now and then? My hearers: If you count your importance in this world by dollars and cents-if you stake your reputation, moral grandeur, and, perhaps, your chances of eternity, on the money you have, you will sell yourself in the end, and the Devil will be the unfortunate purchaser, as sure as there is justice dealt out in the tribunal above. “Fine feathers," it is said, "make fine birds ; "but, fine clothes do not always make the man. The man in tatters and rags may be by far the superior of the man in broadcloth-superior in all the faculties and requisites composing just such a man as justice, purity, and wisdom would have for a companion. My hearers: You are in a measure responsible for the good fortune of others. Upon your assistance, perhaps, depends the life, the happiness and good of some fellow-being. A dollar and a cheering word, given in time of need, may repair a loss where millions would not afterwards. But you are apt to wait until assistance is useless; and, when a man is so low as not to be raised, your mock pity is aroused, and you exclaim: "Poor fellow!" Who made him such? Take that home and think of it. In this world where, one has said, "Every one for himself, and Satan catch the hindmost," you are not apt to take the rear so long as your wealth will place you in the front. It does not follow, because you are thus placed, that you are more wealthy; nor more so because you can hold your head a little higher, or wear more jewels and better cloth. Equality is one of the highest and most just of all Nature's laws, but almost the worst obeyed, and in which case the poor man is the unfortunate sufferer. My hearers: If you have common sense as big in proportion to your other capacities as a bung-hole to a barrel, you do and will know what is your duty, and knowing, DO IT! But, if you delight in making others miserable, and finally becoming miserable yourselves, do not heed my text, but be "Proud and turn up your nose To poorer people in plainer clothes." As an exercise in imitative quality and expression, this example is one for study. It has many lines demanding attentive observance of accent and utterance. Thus, the lines |