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FIRST COMMISSIONER. Lumps it in, sir! Lump in a charitable donation !
SECOND AND THIRD COMMISSIONER.
Reverend sir, and gentlemen, officers of this parish, we are under the necessity of admonishing you that this is a most improper proceeding; and you are hereby duly admonished accordingly. Make a record, Mr. Milky
MR. MILKY, (writing.) The clergyman and churchwardens of the village of Hm-m-m-m- gravely admonished. Hm-m-m-m.
THE REV. DR. FOLLIOTT.
THE COMMISSIONERS. That is all, sir; and we wish you a good morning.
THE REV. DR. FOLLIOTT.
“What in the name of all that is wonderful, Mr. Bluenose,” said the Reverend Doctor Folliott, as he walked out of the inn, "what in the name of all that is wonderful, can those fellows mean? They have come here in a · chaise and four, to make a fuss about a pound per annum, which, after all, they leave as it was: I wonder who pays them for their trouble, and how much.”
MR. APPLETWIG. The public pay for it, sir. It is a job of the learned friend whom you admire so much. It makes away with public money in salaries,
and private money in lawsuits, and does no particle of good to any living soul.
THE REV. DR. FOLLIOTT. Aye, aye, Mr. Appletwig; that is just the sort of public service to be looked for from the learned friend. Oh, the learned friend ! the learned friend! He is the evil genius of every thing that falls in his way.
The Reverend Doctor walked off to Crotchet Castle, to narrate his misadventures, and exhale his budget of grievances on Mr. Mac Quedy, whom he considered a ringleader of the march of mind.
Οι μεν έπειτ' αναβάντες επέπλεον υγρά κέλευθα.
Four beautiful cabined pinnaces, one for the ladies, one for the gentlemen, one for kitchen and servants, one for a dining-room and band of music, weighed anchor, on a fine July morning, from below Crotchet Castle, and were towed merrily, by strong trotting horses, against the stream of the Thames. They passed from the district of chalk, successively into the districts of clay, of sand-rock, of oolite, and so forth. Sometimes they dined in their floating dining-room, sometimes in tents, which they pitched on the dry smoothshaven green of a newly-mown meadow: sometimes they left their vessels to see sights in the vicinity; sometimes they passed a day or two in a comfortable inn.
At Oxford, they walked about to see the curiosities of architecture, painted windows, and undisturbed libraries. The Reverend Doctor Folliott laid a wager with Mr. Crotchet “ that in all their perlustrations they would not find a man reading,” and won it. “Aye, sir,” said the reverend gentleman, “this is still a seat of learning, on the principle of-once a captain, always a captain. We may well ask, in these great reservoirs of books whereof no man ever draws a sluice, Quorsum pertinuit stipere Platona Menandro ?* What is done here
* Wherefore is Plato on Menander piled ?
Hor. Sat. II. 3, 11.