Val. Ay, and we are betroth'd; Pro. Go on before; I shall inquire you forth: Some necessaries that I needs must use; Pro. I will. — Even as one heat another heat expels, [Exit VAL. Or as one nail by strength drives out another, So the remembrance of my former love Is it mine eye, or Valentinus praise, SCENE V.- The same. A street. Enter SPEED and LAUNCE. [Exit. Speed. Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Milan. Laun. Forswear not thyself, sweet youth; for I am not welcome. I reckon this always-that a man is never undone, till he be hanged; nor never welcome to a place, till some certain shot be paid, and the hostess say welcome. Speed. Come on, you mad-cap, I'll to the alehouse with you presently; where, for one shot of five-pence, thou shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy master part with madam Julia ? Laun. Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted very fairly in jest. Speed. But shall she marry him? Laun. No. Speed. How then? shall he marry her? Speed. What, are they broken? Laun. No, they are both as whole as a fish. them? Laun. Marry, thus; when it stands well with him, it stands well with her. Speed. What an ass art thou! I understand thee not. Laun. What a block art thou, that thou canst Pro. To leave my Julia, shall I be forsworn; Love bade me swear, and love bids me forswear: But now I worship a celestial sun. Unheedful vows may heedfully be broken; If I keep them, I needs must lose myself; Jul. Counsel, Lucetta; gentle girl, assist me! Laun. Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I'll To lesson me; and tell me some good mean, but lean, and my staff understands me. How, with my honor, I may undertake Luc. Alas! the way is wearisome and long. Luc. Better forbear, till Proteus make return. Pity the dearth that I have pined in, ⚫ Tempting. Intended. Lest it should burn above the bounds of reason. He makes sweet music with the enamel'd stones, And so by many winding nooks he strays, Then let me go, and hinder not my course: Luc. But in what habit will you go along? Luc. What fashion, madam, shall I make your breeches? Jul. That fits as well, as-" -"tell me, good my lord, What compass will you wear your farthingale?" Why, even that fashion thou best lik'st, Lucetta. Luc. You must needs have them with a codpiece, madam. Jul. Out, out, Lucetta! that will be ill-favor'd. Luc. A round hose, madain, now's not worth a pin, Unless you have a cod-piece to stick pins on. Jul. Lucetta, as thou lov'st me, let me have What thou think'st meet, and is most mannerly: But tell me, wench, how will the world repute me, For undertaking so unstaid a journey? I fear me, it will make me scandaliz'd. Luc. Then never dream on infamy, but go. Luc. All these are servants to deceitful men. Jul. Base men that use them to so base effect! But truer stars did govern Proteus' birth: His words are bonds, his oaths are oracles; His love sincere, his thoughts immaculate; His tears pure messengers sent from his heart; His heart as far from fraud, as heaven from earth. Luc. Pray heaven, he prove so, when you come to him! Jul. Now, as thou lov'st me, do him not that wrong, To bear a hard opinion of his truth: [Exeunt. ACT III. SCENE I.- Milan. An Ante-room in the Duke's | And thence she cannot be convey'd away. Palace. Enter DUKE, THURIO, and PROTEUS. Duke. Sir Thurio, give us leave, I pray, awhile; We have some secrets to confer about. [Exit THURIO. Now, tell me, Proteus, what's your will with me? Pro. My gracious lord, that which I would dis cover, The law of friendship bids me to conceal : My duty pricks me on to utter that Which else no worldly good should draw from me. Pro. Know, noble lord, they have devis'd a mean How he her chamber window will ascend, And with a corded ladder fetch her down; For which the youthful lover now is gone, And this way comes he with it presently; Where, if it please you, you may intercept him. But, good my lord, do it so cunningly, That my discovery be not aimed at; For love of you, not hate unto my friend, Hath made me publisher of this pretence. Duke. Upon mine honor, he shall never know That I had any light from thee of this. Pro. Adieu, my lord; sir Valentine is coming. [Exit. Enter VALENTINE. Duke. Sir Valentine, whither away so fast? Duke. Be they of much import? Duke. Nay, then, no matter; stay with me awhile Vul. I know it well, my lord; and, sure, the match Were rich and honorable; besides, the gentleman Is full of virtue, bounty, worth, and qualities Beseeming such a wife as your fair daughter: Cannot your grace win her to fancy him? Duke. No, trust me; she is peevish, sullen, for ward, Proud, disobedient, stubborn, lacking duty; Should have been cherish'd by her child-like duty, Wilt thou reach stars because they shine on thee? Val. What would your grace have me to do in this? Duke. There is a lady, sir, in Milan, here, Whom I affect; but she is nice and coy, And nought esteems my aged eloquence: Now, therefore, would I have thee to my tutor, (For long agone I have forgot to court: Besides, the fashion of the time is chang'd;) How, and which way, I may bestow myself, To be regarded in her sun-bright eye. Val. Win her with gifts, if she respect not words; Dumb jewels often, in their silent kind, More than quick words, do move mind. a woman's Duke. But she did scorn a present that I sent her. Val. A woman sometimes scorns what best contents her: Send her another; never give her o'er; If she do chide, tis not to have you gone; Duke. But she, I mean, is promis'd by her friends Val. Why then I would resort to her by night. Duke. Ay, but the doors be lock'd, and keys kept safe, That no man hath recourse to her by night. Val. What lets, but one may enter at her window? Duke. Her chamber is aloft, far from the ground; And built so shelving, that one cannot climb it Without apparent hazard of his life. Val. Why then, a ladder, quaintly made of cords, To cast up with a pair of anchoring hooks, Would serve to scale another Hero's tower, So bold Leander would adventure it. Duke. Now, as thou art a gentleman of blood, Advise me where I may have such a ladder. Val. When would you use it? pray, sir, tell me that. Duke. This very night; for love is like a child, That longs for everything that he can come by. Val. By seven o'clock I'll get you such a ladder. Duke. But, hark thee; I will go to her alone; How shall I best convey the ladder thither? Val. It will be light, my lord, that you may bear it Under a cloak, that is of any length. Duke. A cloak as long as thine will serve the turn? Val. Ay, my good lord. Duke. Then let me see thy cloak; I'll get me one of such another length. Val. Why, any cloak will serve the turn, my lord. Duke. How shall I fashion me to wear a cloak? I pray thee, let me feel thy cloak upon me.What letter is this same? What's here? And here an engine fit for my proceeding! I'll be so bold to break the seal for once. To Silvia. [Reads. Go, base intruder! over-weening slave! Will give thee time to leave our royal court, To die, is to be banish'd from myself; Enter PROTEUS and LAUNCE. Pro. Run, boy, run, run, and seek him out. Pro. What seest thou? Val. No Valentine, if Silvia have forsworn me! What is your news? Laun. Sir, there's a proclamation that you are banish'd. Pro. That thou art banished, O, that's the news; (Which, unrevers'd, stands in effectual force,) them, As if but now they waxed pale for woe: Val. No more; unless the next word that thou speak'st Have some malignant power upon my life: Pro. Cease to lament for that thou canst not help, Val. I pray thee, Launce, an if thou seest my boy, Bid him make haste, and meet me at the north gate. Pro. Go, sirrah, find him out. Come, Valentine. Val. O my dear Silvia! hapless Valentine! [Exeunt VALENTINE and PROTEUS. Laun. I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to think my master is a kind of a knave: but that's all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now, that knows me to be in love: yet I am in love; but a team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who 'tis I love, and yet 'tis a woman: but what woman, I will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milk-maid: yet 'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips: yet 'tis a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a water spaniel,-which is much in a bare Christian. Here is the cat-log [pulling out a paper] of her conditions. Imprimis, She can fetch and carry. Why, a horse can do no more; nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only carry; therefore, is she better than a jade. Item, She can milk; look you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands. Enter SPEED. Speed. How, now, signior Launce? what news with your mastership? Laun. With my 'master's ship? why, it is at sea. Speed. Well, your old vice still; mistake the word: What news then in your paper! Laun. The blackest news, that ever thou heard'st. Laun. Why, as black as ink. Laun. Fie on thee, jolt-head; thou canst not read. Laun. I will try thee; tell me this: who begot thee? Speed. Marry, the son of my grandfather. Laun. O illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thy grandmother: this proves, that thou canst not read. Speed. Come, fool, come; try me in thy paper. Laun. There; and Saint Nicholas' be thy speed! Speed. Imprimis, She can milk. Laun. Ay, that she can. Speed. Item, She brews good ale. Laun. And thereof comes the proverb,-Blessing of your heart, you brew good ale. Speed. Item, She can sew. Laun. That's as much as to say, Can she so? Speed. Item, She can knit. Laun. What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when she can knit him a stock? Speed. Item, She can wash and scour. Speed. Item, She is not to be kissed fasting, in respect of her breath. Laun. Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast: read on. Speed. Item, She hath a sweet mouth. Laun. That makes amends for her sour breath. Speed. Item, She doth talk in her sleep. Laun. It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk. Speed. Item, She is slow in words. Laun. O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words, is a woman's only virtue: I pray thee, out with 't; and place it for her chief virtue. Speed. Item, She is proud. Laun. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot be ta'en from her. Speed. Item, She hath no teeth. Laun. I care not for that neither, because I love crusts. Speed. Item, She is curst.a Laun. Well; the best is, she hath no teeth to bite. Speed. Item, She will often praise her liquor, Laun. If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I will; for good things should be praised. Speed. Item, She is too liberal. Laun. Of her tongue she cannot; for that's writ down she is slow of; of her purse she shall not; for that I'll keep shut: now, of another thing she may, and that I cannot help. Well, proceed. Speed. Item, She huth more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults. Laun. Stop there; I'll have her she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article: rehearse that once more. Speed. Item, She huth more hair than wit, — Laun. More hair than wit, it may be; I'll prove it: the cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit, is more than the wit; for the greater hides the less. What's next? Speed. And more faults than hairs,— Laun. Why, that word makes the faults gracious: Well, I'll have her; and if it be a match, as nothing is impossible, Speed. What then? Luun. Why, then I will tell thee, that thy master stays for thee at the north gate. Speed. For me? Laun. For thee? ay; who art thou? he hath staid for a better man than thee. Speed. And must I go to him? Laun. Thou must run to him, for thou hast staid so long, that going will scarce serve the turn. Speed. Why didst not tell me sooner? 'pox of your love-letters! [Exit. Laun. Now will he be swinged for reading my letter: An unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into secrets! I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's [Exit. correction. SCENE II.The same. A room in the Duke's Palace. Enter DUKE and THURIO; PROTEUS behind. Duke. Sir Thurio, fear not, but that she will love you, Now Valentine is banish'd from her sight. Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure Laun. A special virtue; for then she need not A little time will melt her frozen thoughts, be washed and scoured. Speed. Item, She can spin. Laun. Then may I set the world on wheels when she can spin for her living. Speed. Item, She hath many nameless virtues. Laun. That's as much as to say, bastard vir tues: that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore have no names. Speed. Here follow her vices. Laun. Close at the heels of her virtues. 2 St. Nicholas presided over young scholars. And worthless Valentine shall be forgot.- Duke. My daughter takes his going grievously. a Froward. Pro. Longer than I prove loyal to your grace, Let me not live to look upon your grace. Duke. Thou know'st how willingly I would effect The match between Sir Thurio and my daughter. Pro. I do, my lord. Duke. And also, I think, thou art not ignorant Pro. She did, my lord, when Valentine was here. Pro. And that, my lord, I shall be loth to do: Duke. Where your good word cannot advantage Your slander never can endamage him; Being entreated to it by your friend. And cannot soon revolt and change your mind. Pro. As much as I can do, I will effect:- For Orpheus' lute was strung with poets' sinews; Visit by night your lady's chamber-window ance. Pro. You have prevail'd, my lord: if I can do it, This, or else nothing, will inherit her. By aught that I can speak in his dispraise, She shall not long continue love to him. But, say this weed her love from Valentine, It follows not that she will love sir Thurio. Duke. This disciplines hows thou hast been in love. Thu. And thy advice this night I'll put in practice. Therefore, sweet Proteus, my direction-giver, Thu. Therefore, as you unwind her love from him, Let us into the city presently Lest it should ravel, and be good to none, Which must be done, by praising me as much Duke. And, Proteus, we dare trust you in this Because we know, on Valentine's report, To sort some gentlemen well skill'd in music: To give the onset to thy good advice. Pro. We'll wait upon your grace till after supper: ACT IV. SCENE I. A Forest near Mantua. 1 Out. Fellows, stand fast; I see a passenger. Enter VALENTINE and SPEED. 3 Out. Stand, sir, and throw us that you have about you; If not, we'll make you sit, and rifle you. Speed. Sir, we are undone! these are the villains That all the travelers do fear so much. Val. My friends 1 Out. That's not so, sir; we are your enemies. 2 Out. Peace; we'll hear him. 3 Out. Ay, by my beard, will we; For he's a proper man. But yet I slew him manfully in fight, 1 Out. Why, ne'er repent it, if it were done so: Val. My youthful travel therein made me happy; Or else I often had been miserable. 3 Out. By the bare scalp of Robin Hood's fat friar, It is an honorable kind of thievery. 2 Out. Tell us this: have you anything to take Val. Nothing, but my fortune. 3 Out. Know then, that some of us are gentlemen, Val. Then know that I have little wealth to lose; Such as the fury of ungoverned youth A man I am, cross'd with adversity: My riches are these poor habiliments, Of which if you should here disfurnish me, You take the sum and substance that I have. 2 Out. Whither travel you? Val. To Verona. 1 Out. Whence came you? Val. From Milan. 3 Out. Have you long sojourn'd there? Thrust from the company of awful men 2 Out. And I from Mantua, for a gentleman, Val. Some sixteen months; and longer might And, partly, seeing you are beautified have staid, If crooked fortune had not thwarted me. 1 Out. What, were you banish'd thence? Val. I was. 2 Out. For what offense? Val. For that which now torments me to rehearse: I kill'd a man, whose death I much repent; • Well-looking. With goodly shape; and by your own report Birdlime. Mournful elegy. Choose out. |