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Tony hand snatches back a performer in the nuto : I am curious about even John Smith. midst of his part, and him, whom yesterday | The desire next in strength to this (an oppotwo infinities (past and future) would not sur site pole, indeed, of the same inaguet) is that fice, a handful of dust is enough to cover and of communicating the unintelligence we have silence forever. Nay, we see the same fleshless carefully picked up. fingers opening to clutch the showman himself, Men in general may be divided into the inand fress, not without a shudder, that they are quisitive and the communicative. To the lying in wait for spectator also.

first class belong Peeping Toms, eaves-drop"Think of it: for three dollars a year I buy pers, navel-contemplating Brahmins, metaplaya season-ticket to this creat Globe Theatre, for sicians, travellers, Empedocleses, Sjies, the which God would write the dramas (only that various societies for promoting Rhinothism, we like farces, spectacles, and the tragedies of Columbuses, Yankees, discoverers, and men of Apollyon better), whose scene-shifter is Time, science, who present themselves to the mind as and whose curtain is rung down by Death. so many marks of interrogation wandering up

“Such thoughts will occur to me sometimes and down the worid, or sitting in studies and as I am tearing off the wrapper of my news- laboratories. The second class I should again paper. Then suddenly that otherwise too often subdivide into four. In the first subdivision vacant sheet becomes invested for me with a | I would rank those who have an itch to tell strange kind of awe. Look! deaths and mar- us about themselves, -as keepers of diaries, riages, notices of inventions, discoveries, and insignificant persons generally, Montaignes, books, lists of promotions, of killed, wounded, Horace Walpoles, autobiographers, poets. The and missing, news of fires, accidents, of sudden second includes those who are anxious to im. wealth and as sudden poverty :- I hold in my part information concerning other people, -as hand the ends of myriad invisible electric con- historians, barbers, and such. To the third beductors, along which tremble the joys, sorrows,long those who labor to give us intelligence wrongs, triumphs, hopes, and despairs of as about nothing at all, - as novelists, political many men and women everywhere. So that orators, the large majority of authors, preachupon that mood of mind which seems to isolate ers, lecturers, and the like. In the fourth me from mankind as a spectator of their pup come those who are communicative froin mopet-pranks, another supervenes, in which I tives of public benevolence, -as finders of feel that I, too, unknown and unheard of, am mares'-nests and bringers of ill news. Each of yet of some iinport to my fellows. For, through us two-legged fowls without feathers embraces my newspaper here, do not families take pains all these subdivisions in himself to a greater or to send me, an entire stranger, news of a death less degree, for none of us so much as lays an among them? Are not here two who would egg, or incubates a chalk one, but straightway have ine know of their marriage? And, stran | the whole barnyard shall know it by our cackle gest of all, is not this singular person anxious to or our cluck. Omnibus hoc vitium est. There have me informed that he has received a fresh are different grades in all these classes. One supply of Dimitry Bruisgins? But to none of will turn his telescope toward a hach-yard, lis (loes the Present continue miraculous (even another toward Uranus ; one will tell you that if for a moment discerned as such). We glance le dined with Smith, another that he supped carelessly at the sunrise, and get used to with. Plato. In one particular, all men may be Orion and the Pleiades. The wonder wears off, considered as belonging to the first grand divisand to-morrow this sheet (Acts x. 11, 12), in ion, inasmuch as they all seem equally desirwhich a vision was let down to me from Heaven, ous of discovering the mote in their neighbor's shall be the wrappage to a bar of soap or the eye. platter for a beggur's broken victuals." --H. W.1 To one or another of these species every hu

man being may safely be referred. I think it beyond a peradventure that Jonah prosecuted some inquiries into the digestive apparatus of

whales, and that Noah sealed up a letter in No. VII.

an einpty bottle, that news in regard to him might not be wanting in case of the worst.

They had else been super or subter human. I A LETTER

conceive, also, that, as there are certain persons

who continually peep and pry at the keyhole PROM A CANDIDATE FOR THE PRESIDENCY of that mysterious door through which, sooner IN ANSWER TO SUTTIN QUESTIONS PRO- or later, we all make our exits, so there are

doubtless ghosts fidgeting and fretting on the POSED BY MR. HOSEA BIGLOW, INCLOSED

other side of it, because they have no means of IN A NOTE FROM MR. BIGLOW TO S. H.

conveying back to this world the scraps of GAY, ESQ., EDITOR OF THE NATIONAL

news they have picked up in that. For there ANTISLAVERY STANDARD.

is an answer ready somewhere to every quies.

tion, the great law of give and take runs (CIRIOSITY may be said to be the quality through all nature, and if we see a hook, we which pre-eminently distinguishes and segre may be sure that an eye is waiting for it. I gutes man from the lower animals. As we trace read in every face I meet a standing ulvertise. the scale of animated nature downward, wement of information wanted in regard to A. B.. find this faculty (as it may truly be called) of or that the friends of C. D, can hear something the mind diminished in the savage, and well to his disadvantage by application to such a nigh extinct in the brite. The first object which one. civilize I man props to himself I take to be It was to gratify the two great passions of the finding out whatsoever he can concerning asking an answering that epistolary correhis neighbors. Want humanum a me alienum spondence was first invented. Letters for by

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this usurper title epistles are now commonly | An ef I've one pecooler feetur,
known) are of several kinds. First, there are It is a nose thet wunt be led.
thoxe which are not letters at all, -as letters.
patent, letters dimnissory, letters enclosing
bills, letters of adininistration, Pliny's letters,
letters of diplomacy, of Cato, of Mentor, of
Loris Lyttelton, Chesterfield, and Ortery, of
Jacob Behinen, Seneca (whom St. Jerome in.
cludes in his list of sacred writers), letters from
abroad, from sous in college to their fathers,
letters of marque, and letters generally, which
are in no wise letters of mark. Second, are
real letters, such as those of Gray, Cowper,

I don't make no insinooations,
Walpole. Howell, Lamb, D. Y., the first letters
from children (printed in staggering capitals),
Letters from New York, letters of credit, and

Thet is, I mean, it seems to me so, others, interesting for the sake of the writer or the thing written. I have read also letters But, ef the public think I 'm wrong, from Europe by a gentleman named Pinto, con- I wunt deny but wut I be so, taining some curious gossip, and which I hope

An', fact, it don't smell very strong; to see collected for the benefit of the curious, There are, besides, letters addressed to pos

My mind 's tu fair to lose its balance

their own monuments by monarchs, whereby There may be folks o' greater talence we have lately become possessed of the names

| Thet can't set stiddier on the fence. of several great conquerors and kings of kings, hitherto unheard of and still unpronounceable, but valuable to the student of the entirely dark

I'm an eclectic ; ez to choosin' ages. The letter of our Saviour to King Abga

"Twixt this an' thet, I 'n plaguy rus. that which St. Peter sent to King Pepin in the year of grace 755, that of the Virgin to the

lawth ; magistrates of Messina, that of the Sanhedrim I leave a side thet looks like losin', of Toledo to Annas and Caiaphas, A. D. 35, that

But (wile there's doubt) I stick to of Galeazzo Sforza's spirit to his brother Lodovico, that of St. Gregory Thaumaturgus to the

both; D-1, and that of this last-mentioned active Is police-magistrate to a nun of Girgenti, I would

Ez preudunt statesmun say, who 've place in a class by themselves, as also the letters of candidates, concerning which I shall dilate

planned more fully in a note at the end of the following A poem. At present, sat prata biberunt. Ouly, l O' chances ez to spare they'll stand concerning the shape of letters, they are all either square or oblong, to which general figures circular letters and round-robins also conform themselves. — H. W.]

I mean to say I kind o du,DEER SIR its gut to be the fashun now | Thet is, I mean thet, bein' in it, to rite letters to the candid 8s and i wus The best way wuz to fight it thru; chose at a publick Meetin in Jaalam to du Not but wut abstract war is horrid, wut wus nessary fur that town. i writ to I sign to thet with all my heart, 271 ginerals anil gut ansers to 209. tha But civlyzation doos git forrid air called candid 8s but I don't see nothin' Sometines upon a powder-cart. candid about 'em. this here 1 wich I send wis thought satty's factory. I dunno.

About thet darned Proviso matter as it's ushle to print Poscrips, but as all the ansers I got hed the saini, I sposed it

I never hed a grain o'doubt, wus best times has gretly changed.

need Nor I aint one my sense to scatter Formaly to knock a man into a cockedúhat So 'st no one could n't pick it out ; wus to use him up, but now it ony gives | My love fer North an' South is equil, him a chance fur the cheef madgustracy. So I 'll jest answer plump an' frank, - H. B.

No matter wut may be the sequil, DEAR SIR, – You wish to know my

Yes, Sir, I am agin a Bank. notions On sartin pints thet rile the land ;

Ez to the answerin' o' questions, There's nothin' thet my natur so shus

I'm an off ox at bein' druv, Ez bein' mum or underhand; | Though I aint one thet ary test shuns I'm a straight-spoken kind o creetur i 'll give our folks a helpin' shove ; Thet blurts right ont wut's in his / Kind o' permiscoous I go it head,

| Fer the holl country, an' the ground

I take, ez nigh ez I can show it, | be called a republic of letters. Epistolary

composition becomes then an epidemic, which Is pooty gen’ally all round.

seizes one candidate after another, not seldom

cutting short the thread of political life. It I don't appruve o' givin' pledges ;

has come to such a pass, that a party dreads You 'd ough' to leave a feller free, less the attacks of its opponents than a letter An' not go knockin' out the wedges

from its candidate. Litera scripta manet, and

it will go hard if something had cannot be made To ketch his fingers in the tree;

of it. General Harrison, it is well understood, Pledges air awfle breachy cattle

was surrounded, during his candidacy, with the Thet preuilunt farmers don't turn cordon sanitaire of a vigilance committee. No

prisoner in Spielberg was ever more cautiously out,

deprived of writing materials. The soot was Az long 'z the people git their rattle,

scraped carefully from the chininey-places; outWut is there fer 'm to grout about ? posts of expert rifle-shooters rendered it sure

death for any goose (who came clad in feathers) Ez to the slaves, there's no confusion

to approach within a certain limited distance

of North Bend ; and all doniestic fowls about In my idees consarnin' them,

the premises were reluced to the condition of I think they air an Institution,

Plato's original man. Py these precautions A sort of -- yes, jest so, – ahem :

the General was saved. Parvui componere magDo I own any ? Of my merit

nis. I remember, that, when party-spirit once ran high among my people, upon occasion of

the choice of a new deacon, I, having my prefAll is, I never drink no sperit,

erences, yet not caring too openly to express Nor I haint never signed no pledge.

them, made use of an innocent fraud to bring about that result which I deemed most desira

ble. My stratagem was no other than the Ez to my princerples, I glory

throwing a copy of the Complete Letter-Writer In hevin' nothin' o' the sort ;

in the way of the candidate whom I wished to I aint a Wig, I aint a Tory,

defeat. He caught the infection, and addressed

a short note to his constituents, in which the I'm jest a candidate, in short;

opposite party detected so many and so grave Thet 's fair an' square an' parpendicler, improprieties (he had modelled it upon the But, ef the Public cares a fig

letter of a young lady accepting a proposal of

marriage), that he not only lost his election, but, To hev me an' thin' in particler,

falling under a suspicion of Sabellianism and I Wy, I'm a kind o' peri-Wig.

know not what (the widow Endive assured me that he was a Paralipomenon, to her certain

knowledge). was forced to leave the town. P.S.

Thus it is that the letter killeth.

The object which candidates propose to

themselves in writing is to convey no meaning Ez we're a sort o' privateerin', .

at all. And liere is a quite unsuspected pitfall O' course, you know, it's sheer an' into which they successively plunge headlong. sheer,

For it is precisely in such cryptographies that

mankind are prone to seek for and find a wonAn' there is sutthin' with your hearin'

derful amount and variety of significance. I'll mention in your privit ear ; Omne ignotum pro mirifico. How do we admire Ef you git me inside the White House, at the antique world striving to crack those Your head with ile I 'll kin' o' ’nint

oracular nuts from Delphi, Hammon, and else.

where, in only one of which can I so much as By gittin' you inside the Light-house

surmise that any kernel had ever lodged ; that, Down to the eend o' Jaalam Pint. namely, wherein Apollo confessed that he was

mortal. One Didymus is, moreover, related to An' ez the North hez took to brustlin' have written six thousand books on the single

subject of grammar, a topic rendered only more At bein' scrouged frum off the roost,

tenebrific by the labors of his successors, and I 'll tell ye wut 'll save all tusslin' which seems still to possess an attraction for au

An' give our side a hardsome boost, - thors in proportion as they can make nothing of Tell 'em thet on the Slavery question

it. A singular loadstone for theologians, also,

is the Beast in the Apocalypse, whereof, in the I'm RIGHT, although to speak I'm course of my studies, I have noted two liunlawth;

dred and three several interpretations, each This gives you a safe pint to rest on, lethiferal to all the rest. Non nostrum est tanAa' leaves me frontin' South by won a two hundred and fourth, which I em. then preceptor of our academy, and in other style so compressed that superfluous words particulars a very deserving and sensible may not be detected in it. A severe critic young man, though possessing a somewhat might curtail that famous brevity of Cæsar's by limited knowledge of the Greek tongue. But two thirris, drawing his pen through the superhis heresy struck down no deep root, and, he erogatory veni and vidi. Perhaps, after all, having been lately removed by the hand of the surest footing of hope is to be found in the Providence, I had the satisfaction of reaffirin-rapidly increasing tendency to demand less and ing my cherished sentiments in a sermon less of qualification in candidates. Already preached upon the Lord's day immediately suc. have statesmanship, experience, and the pos. ceeding his funeral. This might seem like tak. session (nay, the profession, even) of principles iny an unfair advantage, did I not add that he been rejected as superfluous, and may not the had made provision in his last will (being celi patriot reasonably hope that the ability to write bate) for the publication of a posthumous trac will follow? At present, there may be death tate in support of his own dangerons opinions. in pot-hooks as well as pots, the loop of a let.

tas com ponere lites, yet I have myself ventured North.

bodied in a discourse preached on occasion of

the demise of the late usurper, Napoleon Bona(And now of epistles candidatial, which are parte, and which quieted, in a large measure, of two kinds, - namely, letters of acceptance, the minds of my people. It is true that my and letters definitive of position. Our repub views on this important point were ardently lic, on the eve of an election, may safely enough controverted by Mr. Shearjashub Hoiden, the

o n nccasion of

kinds, - namely, letteratal, which are parteemise of the late ugur

I know of nothing in our modern times which ter may suffice for a bow-string, and all the approaches so nearly to the ancient oracle as dreadful heresies of Antislavery may lurk in a the letter of a Presidential candidate. Now, flourish. – H. W.) among the Greeks, the eating of heans was strictly forbidden to all such as had it in mind to consult those expert amphibologists, and this same prohibition on the part of Pythagoras to his disciples is understood to imply

No. VIII. an abstinence from politics, beans having been nsed as ballots. That other explication, quod videlicet sensus eo cibo obtundi existimaret, | A SECOND LETTER FROM B. SAWIN, ESQ. though supported pugnis et calcibus by many of the learned, and not wanting the counte In the following epistle, we behold Mr. nance of Cicero, is confuted by the larger expe. Sawin returning, a miles emeritus, to the bosom

ence of New England. On the whole, I think of his family. Quantum mutatus! The good it safer to apply here the rule of interpretation Father of us all had doubtless intrusted to the which now generally obtainis in regard to an- | keeping of this child of his certain faculties of tique cosmogonies, myths, fables, proverbiala constructive kind. He had put in him a expressions, and knotty points generally, which share of that vital force, the nicest economy is, to find a common sense meaning, and then of every minute atom of which is necessary select whatever can be imagined the most oppo-to the perfect development of Humanity. He site thereto. In this way we arrive at the con- had given him a brain and heart, and so had clusion, that the Greeks objected to the ques equipped his soul with the two strong wings of tioning of candidates. And very properly, if, knowledge and love, whereby it can mount to as I conceive, the chief point be not to dis- | hang its nest under the eaves of heaven. And cover what a person in that position is, or what this child, so dowered, he had intrusted to the he will do, but whether he can be elected. Vos keeping of his vicar, the State. How stands exemplaria Graeca nocturna versate manu, versate the account of that stewardship? The State, diurna.

or Society (call her by what name you will), But, since an imitation of the Greeks in had taken no manner of thox ht of him till she this particular (the asking of questions being saw him swept out into the street, the pitiful one chief privilege of freemen) is hardly to be leavings of last night's dehauch, with cigarhoped for, and our canlidates will answer, ends, lemon-parings, tobacco-quids, slops, vile whether they are questioned or not, I would stenches, and the whole loathsome next-mornrecommend that these ante-electionary dia-ing of the bar-room, - an own child of the logues should be carried on by symbols, as Almighty God! I remember him as he was were the diplomatic correspondences of the brought to be christened, a ruddy, rugged Scythians and Macrobii, or confined to the lan- babe ; and now there he wallows, reeking, guage of signs, like the famous interview of seething, the dead corpse, not of a man, but Panurge and Goatsnose. A candidate might of a soul, - a putrefying lump, horrible for the then convey a suitable reply to all committees | life that is in it. Comes the wind of heaven, of inquiry by closing one eye, or by presenting that good Samaritan, and parts the hair upon them with a phial of Egyptian darkness to be his forehead, nor is too nice to kiss those speculated upon by their respective constituen- / parched, cracked lips; the morning opens upon cies. These answers would be susceptible of him her eyes full of pitying sunshine, the sky whatever retrospective construction the exi-yearns down to him, and there he lies fergencies of the political campaign might seem Senting. O sleep! let me not profane thy holy to demand, and the candidate could take his naine by calling that stertorous unconsciousposition on either side of the fence with entire ness a slumber! By and by comes along the consistency. Or, if letters must be written, State, God's vicar. Does she say, "My poor, profitable use might be made of the Dighton forlorn foster-child ! Behold here a force rock hieroglyphic or the cuneiform script, which I will make dig and plant and build for every fresh decipherer of which is enabled to me"? Not so, but, “Here is a recruit readyeduce a different meaning, whereby a sculp- made to my hand, a piece of destroying energy tured stone or two supplies us, and will prob lying iinprofitably idle." So she claps an ugly ably continue to supply posterity, with a very gray suit on him, puts a musket in his grasp, vast and various body of authentic history and sends him ofl, with Gubernatorial and For even the briefest epistle in the ordinary other godspeeds, to do duty as a destroyer. chirography is dangerous. There is scarce any I made one of the crowd at the last Mechalr

13

ar

arn

ics' Yair, and, with the rest, stood gazing in | I've lost one eye, but thet 's a loss it's wonder at a perfect machine, with its soul of fire, its boiler-heart that sent the hot blood

easy to supply pulsing along the iron arteries, and its thews of steel. And while I was admiring the adapta is all my eye; tion of means to end, the harmonious involu An' one is big enough, I guess, by dilitions of contrivance, and the never-bewildered complexity, I saw a grimed and greasy fellow,

gently usin' it, the imperious engine's lackey and drudge, whose sole office was to let fall, at intervals, a drop or two of oil upon a certain joint. Then

Of'cers I notice, who git paid fer all my soul said within me. See there a piece of mechanism to which that other you marvel at our thumps an' kickins, is but as the rude first effort of a child, -a Du wa force which not merely suffices to set a few

fattest pickins; wheels in motion, but which can send an impulse all through the infinite future, - & contrivance, not for turning out pins, or stitching buttonholes, but for making Hamlets and An' not allow myself to be no gret put Lears. And yet this thing of iron shall be housed, waited on, guarded from rust and dust,

out about it. and it shall be a crime but so much as to scratch it with a pin : while the other, with its L 'fore leavin' Jaalam, fire of God in it, shall be buffeted hither and

| To count things on my finger-eends, but thither, and finally sent carefully a thousand iniles to be the target for a Mexican cannon | sutthin' seems to ail 'em : ball. Unthrifty Mother State! "My heart | Ware 's my left hand ? O, darn it, yes,

My heart
burned within me for pity and indignation, and I recollect wut's come on't ;
I renewed this covenant with my own soul, --
In aliis mansuetus ero, at, in blasphemiis con-

| I haint no left arm but my right, an' tra Christum, non ita. - H. W.)

thet 's gut jest a thumb on 't;

It aint so hendy ez it wuz to cal'late a I SPOSE you wonder ware I be ; I can't sum on 't. • tell, fer the soul o' me,

| I've hed some ribs broke,- six (1 bl'ieve), Exacly ware I be myself, - meanin' by - I haint kep' no account on 'em ; thet the holl o' me.

Wen pensions git to be the talk, I 'll Wen I left hum, I hed two legs, an' they settle the amount on 'em. worn't bad ones neither,

An' now I'm speakin' about ribs, it kin' (The scaliest trick they ever played wuz o'brings to mind bringin' on me hither,)

One thet I could n't never break, – the Now one on 'em 's I dunno ware ; - | one I lef' behind; they thought I wuz adyin',

Ef you should see her, jest clear out the An' sawed it oft' because they said 't wuz spout o' your invention kin' o' mortifyin';

An' pour the longest sweetnin' in about I'm willin' to believe it wuz, an' yit I an annooal pension, don't see, nuther,

An' kin' o' hint (in case, you know, the Wy one shoud take to feelin' cheap a critter should refuse to be minnit sooner 'n t' other,

Consoled) I aint so 'xpensive now to keep Sence both wiz equilly to blame; but ez wut I used to be; things is ez they be;

There's one arm less, ditto one eye, an' It took on so they took it off, an' thet's then the leg thet 's wooden enough fer me :

Can be took off an' sot away wenever There's one good thing, though, to be ther 's a puddin'.

said about my wooden new one, The liquor can't git into it ez 't used to I spose you think I'm comin' back ez in the true one;

opperlunt ez thunder, So it saves drink; an' then, besides, a With shiploads o' gold images an' varus feller could n't beg

sorts o' plunder ; A gretter blessin' then to hev one ollers Wal, 'fore I vullinteered, I thought this sober peg;

country wuz a sort o' It's true a chap's in want o'two fer fol. Canaan, a reg'lar Promised Land flowin lerin' a drum,

with rum an' water, But all the march I'm up to now is jest | Ware propaty growed up like time, to Kingdom Come.

without no cultivation,

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