green spectacles, with copper rims and shagreen very little injury, who, lifting up his sword, fairly cases! A murrain take such trumpery. The struck off the poor dwarf's arm. He was now in blockhead has been imposed upon, and should have a woful plight; but the giant coming to his assistknown his company better."-" There, my dear," ance, in a short time left the two Saracens dead on cried I, "you are wrong, he should not have known the plain, and the dwarf cut off the dead man's them at all."-"Marry, hang the idiot," returned head out of spite. They then travelled on to anoshe, "to bring me such stuff; if I had them I would ther adventure. This was against three bloodythrow them in the fire." "There again you are minded Satyrs, who were carrying away a damsel wrong, my dear," cried I; "for though they be cop-in distress. The dwarf was not quite so fierce now per, we will keep them by us, as copper spectacles, as before; but for all that struck the first blow, you know, are better than nothing." which was returned by another, that knocked out By this time the unfortunate Moses was unde- his eye; but the giant was soon up with them, and ceived. He now saw that he had been imposed had they not fled, would certainly have killed them upon by a prowling sharper, who, observing his every one. They were all very joyful for this vicfigure, had marked him for an easy prey. I there-tory, and the damsel who was relieved fell in love fore asked the circumstance of his deception. He with the giant, and married him. They now trasold the horse, it seems, and walked the fair in search of another. A reverend looking man brought him to a tent, under pretence of having one to sell. "Here," continued Moses, "we met another man, very well dressed, who desired to borrow twenty pounds upon these, saying that he wanted money, and would dispose of them for a third of the value. The first gentleman, who pretended to be my friend, whispered me to buy them, and cautioned me not to let so good an offer pass. I sent for Mr. Flamborough, and they talked him up as finely as they did me, and so at last we were persuaded to buy the two gross between us."

CHAPTER XIII.

Mr. Burchell is found to be an enemy; for he has the confidence to give disagreeable advice.

velled far, and farther than I can tell, till they met with a company of robbers. The giant, for the first time was foremost now; but the dwarf was not far behind. The battle was stout and long. Wherever the giant came, all fell before him; but the dwarf had like to have been killed more than once. At last the victory declared for the two adventurers; but the dwarf lost his leg. The dwarf was now without an arm, a leg, and an eye, while the giant was without a single wound. Upon which he cried out to his little companion, “My little hero, this is glorious sport! let us get one victory more, and then we shall have honour for ever." "No," cries the dwarf, who was by this time grown wiser, "no, I declare off; I'll fight no more: for I find in every battle that you get all the honour and rewards, but all the blows fall upon me."

"I was going to moralize this fable, when our attention was called off to a warm dispute between my wife and Mr. Burchell, upon my daughters' intended expedition to town. My wife very strenuously insisted upon the advantages that would result from it; Mr. Burchell, on the contrary, dissuaded her with great ardour, and I stood neuter. His present dissuasions seemed but the second part of those which were received with so ill a grace in the morning. The dispute grew high, while poor Deborah, instead of reasoning stronger, talked louder, and at last was obliged to take shelter from a defeat in clamour. The conclusion of her ha

OUR family had now made several attempts to be 'fine; but some unforeseen disaster demolished each as soon as projected. I endeavoured to take the advantage of every disappointment, to improve their good sense in proportion as they were frustrated in ambition. "You see, my children," cried I, "how little is to be got by attempts to impose upon the world, in coping with our betters. Such as are poor, and will associate with none but the rich, are hated by those they avoid, and despised by those they follow. Unequal combinations are always rangue, however, was highly displeasing to us all: disadvantageous to the weaker side: the rich having the pleasure, and the poor the inconveniencies that result from them. But come, Dick, my boy, and repeat the fable that you were reading to-day, for the good of the company."

"she knew," she said, "of some who had their own secret reasons for what they advised; but, for her part, she wished such to stay away from her house for the future."-" Madam," cried Burchell, with looks of great composure, which tended to inflame "Once upon a time," cried the child, "a giant her the more, "as for secret reasons, you are right; and a dwarf were friends, and kept together. I have secret reasons, which I forbear to mention, They made a bargain that they would never for- because you are not able to answer those of which sake each other, but go seek adventures. The first I make no secret: but I find my visits here are bebattle they fought was with two Saracens, and the come troublesome; I'll take my leave therefore now, dwarf, who was very courageous, dealt one of the and perhaps come once more to take a final fare. champions a most angry blow. It did the Saracen well when I am quitting the country." Thus say

ing, he took up his hat, nor could the attempts of led to inspect their conduct himself, and inform us Sophia, whose looks seemed to upbraid his pre- by letter of their behaviour. But it was thought incipitancy, prevent his going.

dispensably necessary that their appearance should When gone, we all regarded each other for some equal the greatness of their expectations; which minutes with confusion. My wife, who knew her- could not be done without expense. We debated self to be the cause, strove to hide her concern therefore in full council what were the easiest with a forced smile, and an air of assurance, which methods of raising money, or more properly speakI was willing to reprove: "How, woman," cried I ing, what we could most conveniently sell. The to her, "is it thus we treat strangers? Is it thus we deliberation was soon finished; it was found that return their kindness? Be assured, my dear, that our remaining horse was utterly useless for the these were the harshest words, and to me the most plough without his companion, and equally unfit unpleasing that ever escaped your lips!"-"Why for the road, as wanting an eye; it was therefore would he provoke me then?" replied she; "but I determined that we should dispose of him for the know the motives of his advice perfectly well. He purposes above mentioned, at the neighbouring would prevent my girls from going to town, that fair, and to prevent imposition, that I should go he may have the pleasure of my youngest daugh- with him myself. Though this was one of the ter's company here at home. But whatever hap- first mercantile transactions of my life, yet I had pens, she shall choose better company than such no doubt about acquitting myself with reputation. low-lived fellows as he."-" Low-lived, my dear, do The opinion a man forms of his own prudence is you call him?” cried I; "it is very possible we may measured by that of the company he keeps; and as mistake this man's character, for he seems upon mine was mostly in the family way, I had conceivsome occasions the most finished gentleman I ever ed no unfavourable sentiments of my worldly wisknew. Tell me, Sophia, my girl, has he ever dom. My wife, however, next morning, at partgiven you any secret instances of his attachment?" ing, after I had got some paces from the door, "His conversation with me, sir," replied my daugh-called me back, to advise me in a whisper, to have ter, "has ever been sensible, modest, and pleasing. all my eyes about me.

As to aught else, no, never. Once, indeed, I rc- I had, in the usual forms, when I came to the member to have heard him say, he never knew a fair, put my horse through all his paces; but for woman who could find merit in a man that seemed some time had no bidders. At last a chapman appoor." "Such, my dear," cried I, "is the com- proached, and after he had for a good while examinmon cant of all the unfortunate or idle. But Ied the horse round, finding him blind of one eye, he hope you have been taught to judge properly of would have nothing to say to him: a second came such men, and that it would be even madness to up, but observing he had a spavin, declared he expect happiness from one who has been so very would not take him for the driving home: a third bad an economist of his own. Your mother and I perceived he had a windgall, and would bid no have now better prospects for you. The next win-money: a fourth knew by his eye that he had the ter, which you will probably spend in town, will botts: a fifth wondered what a plague I could do give you opportunities of making a more prudent at the fair with a blind, spavined, galled hack, that was only fit to be cut up for a dog-kennel. By What Sophia's reflections were upon this occa- this time I began to have a most hearty contempt sion I can't pretend to determine; but I was not for the poor animal myself, and was almost ashamdispleased at the bottom, that we were rid of a guested at the approach of every customer; for though I from whom I had much to fear. Our breach of did not entirely believe all the fellows told me, yet hospitality went to my conscience a little; but II reflected that the number of witnesses was a quickly silenced that monitor by two or three spe. strong presumption they were right; and St. Gregocious reasons, which served to satisfy and reconcile ry upon Good Works, professes himself to be of me to myself. The pain which conscience gives the same opinion. the man who has already done wrong, is soon got over. Conscience is a coward, and those faults it has not strength enough to prevent, it seldom has justice enough to accuse.

choice."

CHAPTER XIV.

ties may be real Blessings.

I was in this mortifying situation, when a brother clergyman, an old acquaintance, who had also business at the fair, came up, and shaking me by the hand, proposed adjourning to a public-house, and taking a glass of whatever we could get. I readily closed with the offer, and entering an ale house we were shown into a little back room, where there was only a venerable old man, who sat

Fresh Mortifications or a demonstration that seeming Calami- wholly intent over a large book, which he was reading. I never in my life saw a figure that preTHE journey of my daughters to town was now possessed me more favourably. His locks of silver resolved upon, Mr. Thornhill having kindly promis- gray venerably shaded his temples, and his green

old age seemed to be the result of health and benevo-|lowed human speculations too much.—“Ay sir,” lence. However, his presence did not interrupt our replied he, as if he had reserved all his learning to conversation: my friend and I discoursed on the va- that moment, "ay, sir, the world is in its dotage. rious turns of fortune we had met; the Whistonian and yet the cosmogony or creation of the world has controversy, my last pamphlet, the archdeacon's puzzled philosophers of all ages. What a medley reply, and the hard measure that was dealt me. of opinions have they not broached upon the creaBut our attention was in a short time taken off by tion of the world! Sanchoniathon, Manetho, Bethe appearance of a youth, who entering the room, rosus, and Ocellus Lucanus have all attempted it respectfully said something softly to the old stranger. in vain. The latter has these words, Anarchon “Make no apologies, my child," said the old man, ara kai alelutaion to pan, which imply that all "to do good is a duty we owe to all our fellow-things have neither beginning nor end Manetho creatures; take this, I wish it were more; but five also, who lived about the time of Nebuchadonpounds will relieve your distress, and you are wel- Asser,-Asser being a Syriac word usually appli come." The modest youth shed tears of gratitude, ed as a surname to the kings of that country, as and yet his gratitude was scarcely equal to mine. Teglat Phael-Asser, Nabon-Asser,-he, I say, I could have hugged the good old man in my arms, formed a conjecture equally absurd; for as we usuhis benevolence pleased me so. He continued to ally say, ek to biblion kubernetes, which implies read, and we resumed our conversation, until my that books will never teach the world; so he atcompanion, after some time, recollecting that he tempted to investigate-But, sir, I ask pardon, I had business to transact in the fair, promised to be am straying from the question."-That he actualsoon back, adding, that he always desired to have ly was; nor could I for my life see how the creaas much of Dr. Primrose's company as possible. tion of the world had any thing to do with the The old gentleman hearing my name mentioned, business I was talking of; but it was sufficient to seemed to look at me with attention for some time, show me that he was a man of letters, and I now and when my friend was gone, most respectfully reverenced him the more. I was resolved therefore demanded if I was any way related to the great to bring him to the touchstone; but he was too Primrose, that courageous monogamist, who had mild and too gentle to contend for victory. Whenbeen the bulwark of the church. Never did my ever I made an observation that looked like a heart feel sincerer rapture than at that moment. challenge to controversy, he would smile, shake "Sir," cried I, "the applause of so good a man, as his head, and say nothing; by which I understood I am sure you are, adds to that happiness in my he could say much, if he thought proper. The breast which your benevolence has already excited. subject therefore insensibly changed from the You behold before you, sir, that Dr. Primrose, the business of antiquity to that which brought us monogamist, whom you have been pleased to call both to the fair: mine, I told him, was to sell a great. You here see that unfortunate divine, who horse, and very luckily indeed, his was to buy one has so long, and it would ill become me to say suc- for one of his tenants. My horse was soon processfully, fought against the deuterogomy of the duced, and in fine we struck a bargain. Nothing age."-"Sir," cried the stranger, struck with awe, now remained but to pay me, and he accordingly "I fear I have been too familiar; but you'll forgive pulled out a thirty pound note, and bid me change my curiosity, sir: I beg pardon."-"Sir," cried I, it. Not being in a capacity of complying with this grasping his hand, "you are so far from displeas- demand, he ordered his footman to be called up, ing me by your familiarity, that I must beg you'll who made his appearance in a very genteel livery. accept my friendship, as you already have my es- "Here, Abraham," cried he, "go and get gold for teem."-"Then with gratitude I accept the offer," this; you'll do it at neighbour Jackson's or any cried he, squeezing me by the hand, "thou glorious where." While the fellow was gone, he enterpillar of unshaken orthodoxy! and do I behold-"tained me with a pathetic harangue on the great I here interrupted what he was going to say; for scarcity of silver, which I undertook to improve, by though, as an author, I could digest no small share deploring also the great scarcity of gold; so that by of flattery, yet now my modesty would permit no the time Abraham returned, we had both agreed more. However, no lovers in romance ever ce- that money was never so hard to be come at as mented a more instantaneous friendship. We now. Abraham returned to inform us, that he had talked upon several subjects: at first I thought he been over the whole fair, and could not get change, seemed rather devout than learned, and began to though he had offered half a crown for doing it. think he despised all human doctrines as dross. This was a very great disappointment to us all; Yet this no way lessened him in my esteem; for I but the old gentleman, having paused a little, askhad for some time begun privately to harbour such ed me if I knew one Solomon Flamborough in my an opinion myself. I therefore took occasion to part of the country? Upon replying that he was observe, that the world in general began to be my next door neighbour; "If that be the case blamably indifferent as to doctrinal matters, and fol- then," returned he, "I believe we shall deal. You

CHAPTER XV.

shall have a draft upon him, payable at sight; and to excite envy, and too inoffensive to create dis let me tell you, he is as warm a man as any within gust. five miles round him. Honest Solomon and I have been acquainted for many years together. I remember I always beat him at three jumps; but he could hop on one leg farther than I." A draft upon my neighbour was to me the same as money; for I was All Mr. Burchell's villany at once detected.-The folly of being sufficiently convinced of his ability. The draft was signed, and put into my hands, and Mr. Jenkin- THAT evening, and a part of the following day, son, the old gentleman, his man Abraham, and was employed in fruitless attempts to discover our my horse, old Blackberry, trotted off very well pleased with each other.

over-wise.

enemies: scarcely a family in the neighbourhood but incurred our suspicions, and each of us had After a short interval, being left to reflection, I reasons for our opinion best known to ourselves. began to recollect that I had done wrong in taking As we were in this perplexity, one of our little boys, a draft from a stranger, and so prudently resolved who had been playing abroad, brought in a letterupon following the purchaser, and having back my case, which he found on the green. It was quickly horse. But this was now too late: I therefore known to belong to Mr. Burchell, with whom it made directly homewards, resolving to get the draft had been seen, and, upon examination, contained changed into money at my friend's as fast as pos- some hints upon different subjects; but what parsible. I found my honest neighbour smoking his ticularly engaged our attention was a sealed note pipe at his own door, and informing him that I had superscribed, The copy of a letter to be sent to the a small bill upon him, he read it twice over. "You two ladies at Thornhill-castle. It instantly occurcan read the name, I suppose," cried I, "Ephraim red that he was the base informer, and we delibeJenkinson." "Yes," returned he, “the name is rated whether the note should not be broke open. written plain enough, and I know the gentleman I was against it; but Sophia, who said she was too, the greatest rascal under the canopy of heaven. sure that of all men he would be the last to be This is the very same rogue who sold us the spec- guilty of so much baseness, insisted upon its being tacles. Was he not a venerable looking man, with read. In this she was seconded by the rest of the gray hair, and no flaps to his pocket-holes? And family, and at their joint solicitation I read as foldid he not talk a long string of learning about lows: Greek, and cosmogony, and the world?" To this I replied with a groan. "Ay," continued he, "he "LADIES, has but that one piece of learning in the world, and he always talks it away whenever he finds a scholar in company; but I know the rogue, and will catch him yet."

"THE bearer will sufficiently satisfy you as to the person from whom this comes: one at least the friend of innocence, and ready to prevent its being seduced. I am informed for a truth that you have Though I was already sufficiently mortified, my some intention of bringing two young ladies to greatest struggle was to come, in facing my wife town, whom I have some knowledge of, under the and daughters. No truant was ever more afraid character of companions. As I would neither have of returning to school, there to behold the master's simplicity imposed upon, nor virtue contaminated, visage, than I was of going home. I was deter- I must offer it as my opinion, that the impropriety mined, however, to anticipate their fury, by first of such a step will be attended with dangerous falling into a passion myself. consequences. It has never been my way to treat the infamous or the lewd with severity; nor should now have taken this method of explaining myself, or reproving folly, did it not aim at guilt. Take therefore the admonition of a friend, and seriously reflect on the consequences of introducing infamy and vice into retreats, where peace and innocence have hitherto resided.”

But, alas! upon entering, I found the family no way disposed for battle. My wife and girls were all in tears, Mr. Thornhill having been there that day to inform them, that their journey to town was entirely over. The two ladies having heard reports of us from some malicious person about us, were that day set out for London. He could neither discover the tendency, nor the author of these; but whatever they might be, or whoever might have

1

Our doubts were now at an end. There seemed broached them, he continued to assure our family indeed something applicable to both sides in this of his friendship and protection. I found, there- letter, and its censures might as well be referred to fore, that they bore my disappointment with great those to whom it was written, as to us; but the resignation, as it was eclipsed in the greatness of malicious meaning was obvious, and we went no their own. But what perplexed us most, was to farther. My wife had scarcely patience to hear think who could be so base as to asperse the cha-me to the end, but railed at the writer with unrelacter of a family so harmless as ours, too humble strained resentment. Olivia was equally severe,

and Sophia seemed perfectly amazed at his base their freedom from defect, but the greatness of their ness. As for my part, it appeared to me one of the beauties; so should that of men be prized, not for vilest instances of unprovoked ingratitude I had met their exemption from fault, but the size of those with; nor could I account for it in any other man- virtues they are possessed of. The scholar may ner, than by imputing it to his desire of detaining want prudence, the statesman may have pride, and my youngest daughter in the country, to have the the champion ferocity; but shall we prefer to these more frequent opportunities of an interview. In the low mechanic, who laboriously plods through this manner we all sat ruminating upon schemes life without censure or applause? We might as of vengeance, when our other little boy came run- well prefer the tame correct paintings of the Flemning in to tell us that Mr. Burchell was approach- ish school to the erroneous but sublime animations ing at the other end of the field. It is easier to of the Roman pencil."

conceive than describe the complicated sensations "Sir," replied I, "your present observation is which are felt from the pain of a recent injury, and just, when there are shining virtues and minute the pleasure of approaching vengeance. Though defects; but when it appears that great vices are our intentions were only to upbraid him with his opposed in the same mind to as extraordinary viringratitude, yet it was resolved to do it in a man- tues, such a character deserves contempt." ner that would be perfectly cutting. For this pur- "Perhaps," cried he, "there may be some such pose we agreed to meet him with our usual smiles; monsters as you describe, of great vices joined to to chat in the beginning with more than ordinary great virtues; yet in my progress through life, I kindness; to amuse him a little; and then, in the never yet found one instance of their existence: on midst of the flattering calm, to burst upon him like the contrary, I have ever perceived, that where the an earthquake, and overwhelm him with a sense mind was capacious, the affections were good. And of his own baseness. This being resolved upon, indeed Providence seems kindly our friend in this my wife undertook to manage the business herself, particular, thus to debilitate the understanding as she really had some talents for such an under-where the heart is corrupt, and diminish the power, taking. We saw him approach; he entered, drew where there is the will to do mischief. This rule a chair, and sat down.-" A fine day, Mr. Burch-seems to extend even to other animals: the little ell."-" A very fine day, doctor; though I fancy vermin race are ever treacherous, cruel, and cowwe shall have some rain by the shooting of my ardly, whilst those endowed with strength and corns."-"The shooting of your horns!" cried my power are generous, brave, and gentle." wife in a loud fit of laughter, and then asked par- "These observations sound well," returned I, don for being fond of a joke.-"Dear madam," "and yet it would be easy this moment to point replied he, "I pardon you with all my heart, for I out a man,” and I fixed my eye steadfastly upon protest I should not have thought it a joke had you him, "whose head and heart form a most detestanot told me."—"Perhaps not, sir," cried my wife, ble contrast. Ay, sir," continued I, raising my winking at us; "and yet I dare say you can tell us voice, "and I am glad to have this opportunity of how many jokes go to an ounce."—"I fancy, ma- detecting him in the midst of his fancied security. dam," returned Burchell, "you have been reading Do you know this, sir, this pocket-book?”—“Yes, a jest book this morning, that ounce of jokes is so sir, returned he, with a face of impenetrable asvery good a conceit; and yet, madam, I had rather surance, "that pocket-book is mine, and I am glad see half an ounce of understanding."-"I believe you you have found it."-" And do you know," cried might," cried my wife, still smiling at us, though I, "this letter? Nay, never falter, man; but look the laugh was against her; "and yet I have seen me full in the face: I say, do you know this letter?” some men pretend to understanding that have very "That letter," returned he: "yes, it was I that little."-"And no doubt," returned her antagonist, wrote that letter."-"And how could you," said "you have known ladies set up for wit that had I, "so basely, so ungratefully presume to write none." I quickly began to find that my wife was this letter?"-"And how came you," replied he likely to gain but little at this business; so I re- with looks of unparalleled effrontery, "so basely to solved to treat him in a style of more severity my-presume to break open this letter? Don't you know, self. "Both wit and understanding,” cried I, "are now, I could hang you all for this? All that I trifles without integrity; it is that which gives value have to do is to swear at the next justice's, that to every character. The ignorant peasant without you have been guilty of breaking open the lock of fault, is greater than the philosopher with many; my pocket-book, and so hang you all up at this for what is genius or courage without a heart? door." This piece of unexpected insolence raised An honest man is the noblest work of God." me to such a pitch, that I could scarce govern my "I always held that hackneyed maxim of Pope," passion. "Ungrateful wretch! begone, and no returned Mr. Burchell, "as very unworthy a man longer pollute my dwelling with thy baseness! beof genius, and a base desertion of his own superi-gone, and never let me see thee again! Go from ority. As the reputation of books is raised, not by my door, and the only punishment I wish thee is