As we expected our landlord the next day, my glass suffocate me but a fine girl is worth all the wife went to make the venison pasty. Moses sat priestcraft in the creation. For what are tithes reading, while I taught the little ones: my daugh- and tricks but an imposition, all a confounded imters seemed equally busy with the rest; and I ob- posture, and I can prove it."-"I wish you would," served them for a good while cooking something cried my son Moses; "and I think," continued he, over the fire. I at first supposed they were assist- "that I should be able to answer you."—" Very ing their mother; but little Dick informed me in a well, sir," cried the 'Squire, who immediately whisper, that they were making a wash for the smoked him, and winking on the rest of the compaface. Washes of all kinds I had a natural antipa- ny to prepare us for the sport, "if you are for a thy to; for I knew that instead of mending the cool argument upon that subject, I am ready to accomplexion, they spoiled it. I therefore approach- cept the challenge. And first, whether are you for ed my chair by sly degrees to the fire, and grasp- managing it analogically or dialogically?" "I am ing the poker, as if it wanted mending, seemingly for managing it rationally," cried Moses, quite hapby accident overturned the whole composition, and py at being permitted to dispute. "Good again," it was too late to begin another. cried the 'Squire, "and firstly, of the first: I hope you'll not deny, that whatever is, is. If you don't grant me that, I can go no farther." Why," returned Moses, "I think I may grant that, and make the best of it."-"I hope too," returned the CHAPTER VII. A Town-wit described-The dullest fellows may learn to be other, "you'll grant that a part is less than the comical for a night or two. whole." "I grant that too,” cried Moses, “it is WHEN the morning arrived on which we were but just and reasonable."-"I hope," cried the to entertain our young landlord, it may be easily 'Squire, "you will not deny, that the two angles supposed what provisions were exhausted to make of a triangle are equal to two right ones."—"Noan appearance. It may also be conjectured that thing can be plainer," returned t' other, and looked my wife and daughters expanded their gayest plu- round with his usual importance.-"Very well,” Image upon this occasion. Mr. Thornhill came cried the 'Squire, speaking very quick, "the prewith a couple of friends, his chaplain and feeder. mises being thus settled, I proceed to observe, that The servants, who were numerous, he politely or- the concatenation of self-existence, proceeding in a dered to the next ale-house, but my wife, in the reciprocal duplicate ratio, naturally produce a probtriumph of her heart, insisted on entertaining them lematical dialogism, which in some measure proves all; for which, by the by, our family was pinched that the essence of spirituality may be referred to the for three weeks after. As Mr. Burchell had hint-second predicable."—"Hold, hold," cried the other, ed to us the day before, that he was making some "I deny that: Do you think I can thus tamely proposals of marriage to Miss Wilmot, my son submit to such heterodox doctrines ?"—"What!" George's former mistress, this a good deal damped replied the 'Squire, as if in a passion, "not subthe heartiness of his reception: but accident in some mit! Answer me one plain question: Do you think measure relieved our embarrassment; for one of the Aristotle right when he says, that relatives are recompany happening to mention her name, Mr. lated?" 'Undoubtedly," replied the other. “If Thornhill observed with an oath, that he never so, then," cried the 'Squire, "answer me directly knew any thing more absurd than calling such a to what I propose: Whether do you judge the fright a beauty: "For strike me ugly," continued analytical investigation of the first part of my enhe, "if I should not find as much pleasure in choos-thymem deficient secundum quoad, or quoad miing my mistress by the information of a lamp un-nus, and give me your reasons: give me your reader the clock at St. Dunstan's." At this he laugh- sons, I say, directly."-"I protest," cried Moses, ed, and so did we:-the jests of the rich are ever "I don't rightly comprehend the force of your reasuccessful. Olivia too could not avoid whispering loud enough to be heard, that he had an infinite fund of humour. After dinner, I began with my usual toast, the Church; for this I was thanked by the chaplain, as he said the Church was the only mistress of his affections.-"Come, tell us honestly, Frank," said the 'Squire, with his usual archness, "suppose the Church, your present mistress, dressed in lawn sleeves, on one hand, and Miss Sophia, with no lawn about her, on the other, which would you be for?" -"For both, to be sure," cried the chaplain. "Right, Frank," cried the 'Squire, "for may this soning; but if it be reduced to one simple proposition, I fancy it may then have an answer.”—“O sir," cried the 'Squire, "I am your most humble servant; I find you want me to furnish you with argument and intellects too. No, sir, there I protest you are too hard for me." This effectually raised the laugh against poor Moses, who sat the only dismal figure in a group of merry faces; nor did he offer a single syllable more during the whole entertainment. But though all this gave me no pleasure, it had a very different effect upon Olivia, who mistook it for humour, though but a mere act of the memory She thought him therefore a very fine gentleman; | dear," continued she, "what Olivia may be able to and such as consider what powerful ingredients a do. The girl has a great deal to say upon every good figure, fine clothes, and fortune are in that subject, and to my knowledge is very well skilled character, will easily forgive her. Mr. Thornhill, in controversy." notwithstanding his real ignorance, talked with "Why, my dear, what controversy can she have ease, and could expatiate upon the common topics read?" cried I: "It does not occur to me that I of conversation with fluency. It is not surprising ever put such books into her hands: you certainly then, that such talents should win the affections of overrate her merit." "Indeed, papa," replied Olia girl, who by education was taught to value an via, "she does not: I have read a great deal of appearance in herself, and consequently to set a controversy. I have read the disputes between value upon it in another. Thwackum and Square; the controversy between Upon his departure, we again entered into a de- Robinson Crusoe and Friday the savage, and am tate upon the merits of our young landlord. As now employed in reading the controversy in Relihe directed his looks and conversation to Olivia, it gious Courtship." "Very well," cried I, "that's was no longer doubted but that she was the object a good girl, I find you are perfectly qualified for that induced him to be our visiter. Nor did she making converts; and so go help your mother to seem to be much displeased at the innocent raillery make the gooseberry-pie." of her brother and sister upon this occasion. Even Deborah herself seemed to share the glory of the day, and exulted in her daughter's victory as if it | were her own. "And now, my dear," cried she CHAPTER VIII. productive of much. to me, "I'll fairly own, that it was I that instructed An amour, which promises little good fortume, yet may be my girls to encourage our landlord's addresses. I had always some ambition, and you now see that I was right; for who knows how this may end?" “Ay, who knows that indeed!" answered I, with a groan: "For my part, I don't much like it: and I could have been better pleased with one that was poor and honest, than this fine gentleman with his fortune and infidelity; for depend on't, if he be what I suspect him, no free-thinker shall ever have a child of mine." THE next morning we were again visited by Mr. Burchell, though I began, for certain reasons, to be displeased with the frequency of his return; but I could not refuse him my company and my fire-side. It is true, his labour more than requited his entertainment; for he wrought among us with vigour, and either in the meadow or at the hay-rick put himself foremost. Besides, he had always something amusing to say that lessened our toil, and was at once so out of the way, and yet so sensible, that I loved, laughed at, and pitied him. My only dislike arose from an attachment he discovered to my "Sure, father," cried Moses, "you are too severe in this ; for heaven will never arraign him for what he thinks, but for what he does. Every man has a thousand vicious thoughts, which arise without daughter: he would, in a jesting manner, call her his power to suppress. Thinking freely of religion may be involuntary with this gentleman; so that allowing his sentiments to be wrong, yet as he is purely passive in his assent, he is no more to be blamed for his errors, than the governor of a city without walls for the shelter he is obliged to afford an invading enemy." "True, my son," cried I; "but if the governor invites the enemy there, he is justly culpable. And such is always the case with those who embrace error. The vice does not lie in assenting to the proofs they see; but in being blind to many of the proofs that offer. So that, though our erroneous opinions be involuntary when formed, yet as we have been wilfully corrupt, or very negligent in forming them, we deserve punishment for our vice, or contempt for our folly." his little mistress, and when he bought each of the girls a set of ribands, her's was the finest. I knew not how, but he every day seemed to become more amiable, his wit to improve, and his simplicity to assume the superior airs of wisdom. Our family dined in the field, and we sat, or rather reclined round a temperate repast, our cloth spread upon the hay, while Mr. Burchell gave cheerfulness to the feast. To heighten our satisfaction, two blackbirds answered each other from opposite hedges, the familiar red-breast came and pecked the crumbs from our hands, and every sound seemed but the echo of tranquillity. "I never sit thus," says Sophia, "but I think of the two lovers so sweetly described by Mr. Gay, who were struck dead in each other's arms. There is something so pathetic in the description, that I have read it a My wife now kept up the conversation, though hundred times with new rapture."-" In my opinnot the argument: she observed, that several very ion," cried my son, "the finest strokes in that deprudent men of our acquaintance were free-think-scription are much below those in the Acis and ers, and made very good husbands; and she knew Galatea of Ovid. The Roman poet understands some sensible girls that had skill enough to make the use of contrast better; and upon that figure converts of their spouses: "And who knows, my artfully managed, all strength in the pathetic de pends."" It is remarkable," cried Mr. Burchell, "that both the poets you mention have equally contributed to introduce a false taste into their respective countries, by loading all their lines with epithet. Men of little genius found them most easily imitated in their defects, and English poetry, like that in the latter empire of Rome, is nothing| at present but a combination of luxuriant images, without plot or connexion; a string of epithets that improve the sound, without carrying on the sense. But perhaps, madam, while I thus reprehend others, you'll think it just that I should give them an opportunity to retaliate, and indeed I have made this remark only to have an opportunity of introducing to the company a ballad, which, whatever be its other defects, is, I think, at least free from those I have mentioned."* A BALLAD. TURN, gentle hermit of the dale, To where yon taper cheers the vale "For here forlorn and lost I tread, To lure thee to thy doom. "Here to the houseless child of want My door is open still; And though my portion is but scant, "Then turn to-night, and freely share Whate'er my cell bestows; My rushy couch and frugal fare, My blessing and repose. "No flocks that range the valley free, To slaughter I condemn; I learn to pity them: "But from the mountain's grassy side A guiltless feast I bring; A scrip with herbs and fruits supplied, And water from the spring. "Then, pilgrim, turn, thy cares forego; All earth-born cares are wrong; Man wants but little here below, Nor wants that little long." ⚫ We have introduced this beautiful poem in this place, because it appears to be too intimately connected with the story to be omitted with any propriety, though it is inserted among the rest of the doctor's poetical productions. Soft as the dew from heaven descends, Far in a wilderness obscure No stores beneath its humble thatch And now, when busy crowds retire And spread his vegetable store, And gaily press'd, and smiled; And, skill'd in legendary lore, The lingering hours beguiled. Its tricks the kitten tries, But nothing could a charm impart And tears began to flow. His rising cares the hermit spied, With answering care oppress'd: "From better habitations spurn'd, "Alas! the joys that fortune brings, Are trifling, and decay; And those who prize the paltry things, "And what is friendship but a name, To warm the turtle's nest. "For shame, fond youth, thy sorrows hush, And spurn the sex," he said; But while he spoke, a rising blush Surprised he sees new beauties rise, Swift mantling to the view; As bright, as transient too. The bashful look, the rising breast, Alternate spread alarms: "And ah! forgive a stranger rude, A wretch forlorn," she cried; "Whose feet unhallow'd thus intrude Where heaven and you reside. "But let a maid thy pity share, Whom love has taught to stray Who seeks for rest, but finds despair Companion of her way. "My father lived beside the Tyne, A wealthy lord was he; And all his wealth was mark'd as mine, He had but only me. "To win me from his tender arms, Unnumber'd suitors came; "Each hour a mercenary crowd With richest proffers strove; Amongst the rest young Edwin bow'd, But never talk'd of love. "In humble, simplest habit clad, No wealth nor power had he; "And when, beside me in the dale, "The dew, the blossom on the tree, With charms inconstant shine; Their charms were his, but woe to me! Their constancy was mine. "For still I tried each fickle art, Importunate and vain; And while his passion touch'd my hear*, *Till quite dejected with my scorn, "But mine the sorrow, mine the fault, And stretch me where he lay. "And there forlorn, despairing, hid, "Forbid it, Heaven!" the Hermit cried, "Turn, Angelina, ever dear, My charmer, turn to see Thy own, thy long-lost Edwin here, "Thus let me hold thee to my heart, And every care resign; And shall we never, never part, My life-my all that's mine? "No, never from this hour to part, While this ballad was reading, Sophia seemed to mix an air of tenderness with her approbation. But our tranquillity was soon disturbed by the report of a gun just by us, and immediately after a man was seen bursting through the hedge, to take up the game he had killed. This sportsman was the 'Squire's chaplain, who had shot one of the blackbirds that so agreeably entertained us. So loud a report and so near, startled my daughters; and I could perceive that Sophia in her fright had thrown herself into Mr. Burchell's arms for protection. The gentleman came up, and asked pardon for having disturbed us, affirming that he was ignorant of our being so near. He therefore sat down by my youngest daughter, and sportsmanlike, offered her what he had killed that morning. She was going to refuse, but a private look from her mother soon induced her to correct the mistake, and accept his present, though with some reluctance. My wife, as usual, discovered her pride in a whisper, observing, that Sophy had made a conquest of the chaplain, as well as her sister had of the 'Squire. I suspected, however, with more probability, that her affections were placed upon a different object. The chaplain's errand was to inform us, that Mr. Thornhill had provided music and refreshments, and intended that night giving the young ladies a ball by moonlight, on the grassplot before our door. "Nor can I deny," continued he, "but I have an interest in being first to deliver this message, as I expect for my reward to be hon oured with Miss Sophy's hand as a partner." To ty, that my wife could not avoid discovering the this my girl replied, that she should have no objec- pride of her heart, by assuring me, that though the tion if she could do it with honour: "But here," con- little chit did it so cleverly, all the steps were stolen tinued she, "is a gentleman," looking at Mr. Bur- from herself. The ladies of the town strove hard chell, who has been my companion in the task to be equally easy, but without success. They for the day, and it is fit he should share in its swam, sprawled, languished, and frisked; but all amusements." Mr. Burchell returned her a com- would not do: the gazers indeed owned that it was pliment for her intentions: but resigned her up to fine; but neighbour Flamborough observed, that the chaplain, adding that he was to go that night Miss Livy's feet seemed as pat to the music as its five miles, being invited to a harvest supper. His echo. After the dance had continued about an refusal appeared to me a little extraordinary nor hour, the two ladies who were apprehensive of could I conceive how so sensible a girl as my catching cold, moved to break up the ball. One of youngest, could thus prefer a man of broken for- them, I thought, expressed her sentiments upon tunes to one whose expectations were much greater. this occasion in a very coarse manner, when she But as men are most capable of distinguishing observed, that, by the living jingo she was all of a merit in women, so the ladies often form the truest muck of sweat. Upon our return to the house, we judgment of us. The two sexes seem placed as found a very elegant cold supper, which Mr. spies upon each other, and are furnished with dif- Thornhill had ordered to be brought with him. ferent abilities, adapted for mutual inspection. The conversation at this time was more reserved than before. The two ladies threw my girls quite into the shade; for they would talk of nothing but high life, and high-lived company; with other fashionable topics, such as pictures, taste, Shaks CHAPTER IX. Two Ladies of great distinction introduced-Superior finery peare, and the musical glasses. 'Tis true they once ever seems to confer superior breeding. or twice mortified us sensibly by slipping out an oath; but that appeared to me as the surest sympMR. BURCHELL had scarcely taken leave, and tom of their distinction (though I am since informSophia consented to dance with the chaplain, when ed that swearing is perfectly unfashionable.) Their my little ones came running out to tell us, that the finery, however, threw a veil over any grossness in 'Squire was come with a crowd of company. Upon their conversation. My daughters seemed to reour return, we found our landlord, with a couple gard their superior accomplishments with envy; of under gentlemen and two young ladies richly and what appeared amiss was ascribed to tip-top dressed, whom he introduced as women of very quality breeding. But the condescension of the great distinction and fashion from town. We hap-ladies was still superior to their other accomplishpened not to have chairs enough for the whole ments. One of them observed, that had Miss company; but Mr. Thornhill immediately propos- Olivia seen a little more of the world, it would ed, that every gentleman should sit in a lady's lap. greatly improve her. To which the other added, This I positively objected to, notwithstanding a that a single winter in town would make her little look of disapprobation from my wife. Moses was Sophia quite another thing. My wife warmly astherefore despatched to borrow a couple of chairs: sented to both; adding, that there was nothing she and as we were in want of ladies to make up a set more ardently wished than to give her girls a single at country dances, the two gentlemen went with winter's polishing. To this I could not help rehim in quest of a couple of partners. Chairs and plying, that their breeding was already superior partners were soon provided. The gentleman re- to their fortune; and that greater refinement would turned with my neighbour Flamborough's rosy only serve to make their poverty ridiculous, and daughters, flaunting with red top-knots; but an un- give them a taste for pleasures they had no right to lucky circumstance was not adverted to-though possess.-" And what pleasures," cried Mr. Thornthe Miss Flamboroughs were reckoned the very hill, "do they not deserve to possess, who have so best dancers in the parish, and understood the jig much in their power to bestow? As for my part," and round-about to perfection, yet they were total-continued he, "my fortune is pretty large; love, ly unacquainted with country dances. This at liberty, and pleasure, are my maxims; but curse first discomposed us: however, after a little shov-me if a settlement of half my estate could give my ing and dragging, they at last went merrily on. charming Olivia pleasure, it should be hers; and Our music consisted of two fiddles, with a pipe and the only favour I would ask in return would be to tabor. The moon shone bright, Mr. Thornhill add myself to the benefit." I was not such a stranand my eldest daughter led up the ball, to the great ger to the world as to be ignorant that this was the delight of the spectators; for the neighbours, hear- fashionable cant to disguise the insolence of the Lig what was going forward, came flocking about basest proposal; but I made an effort to suppress us. My girl moved with so much grace and vivaci- my resentment. "Sir," cried I, "the family which |