Hardcastle. 1 was never so surprised in my life! He has quite confounded all my faculties! Miss Hardcastle. I never saw any thing like it: and a man of the world too! Hardcastle. Ay, he learned it all abroad-what that's impossible. The first appearance has done a fool was I, to think a young man could learn mo-my business. I'm seldom deceived in that. desty by travelling. He might as soon learn wit at a masquerade.

Hastings. My dear friend, how have you managed with your mother? I hope you have amused her with pretending love for your cousin, and that you are willing to be reconciled at last? Our horses will be refreshed in a short time, and we shall soon be ready to set off.

Hardcastle. He spoke to me as if he knew me all his life before; asked twenty questions, and never waited for an answer: interrupted my best Tony. And here's something to bear your remarks with some silly pun; and when I was in charges by the way [giving the casket]-your my best story of the Duke of Marlborough and sweetheart's jewels. Keep them; and hang those, Prince Eugene, he asked if I had not a good hand I say, that would rob you of one of them.

Hastings. But how have you procured them for them? Tell her they're lost. It's the only way from your mother? to quiet her. Say they're lost, and call me to bear witness.

Tony. Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs. I procured them by the rule of thumb. If I had not a key to every drawer in mother's bureau, how could I go to the alehouse so often as I do? An honest man may rob himself of his own at any time.

Mrs. Hardcastle [apart to Tony]. You know, my dear, I'm only keeping them for you. So if 1 say they're gone, you'll bear me witness, will you? He! he! he!

Tony. Never fear me. Ecod! I'll say I saw them taken out with my own eyes.

Hastings. Thousands do it every day. But to be plain with you, Miss Neville is endeavouring to Miss Neville. I desire them but for a day, procure them from her aunt this very instant. If madam. Just to be permitted to show them as she succeeds, it will be the most delicate way at relics, and then they may be locked up again. least of obtaining them. Mrs. Hardcastle. To be plain with you, my dear Tony. Well, keep them, till you know how it Constance, if I could find them you should have will be. But I know how it will be well enough, them. They're missing, I assure you. Lost, for she'd as soon part with the only sound tooth in her aught I know; but we must have patience, wherever head. they are.

Hastings. But I dread the effects of her resentment when she finds she has lost them.

Tony. Never you mind her resentment, leave me to manage that. I don't value her resentment the bounce of a cracker. Zounds! here they are. Morrice! Prance! [Exit Hastings.

TONY, MRS. HARDCASTLE, and MISS NEVILLE.

Mrs. Hardcastle. Indeed, Constance, you amaze me. Such a girl as you want jewels! It will be time enough for jewels, my dear, twenty years hence, when your beauty begins to want repairs. Miss Neville. But what will repair beauty at forty, will certainly improve it at twenty, madam. Mrs. Hardcastle. Yours, my dear, can admit of none. That natural blush is beyond a thousand ornaments. Besides, child, jewels are quite out at present. Don't you see half the ladies of our acquaintance, my Lady Kill-daylight, and Mrs. Crump, and the rest of them, carry their jewels to town, and bring nothing but paste and marcasites back.

Miss Neville. But who knows, madam, but somebody who shall be nameless would like me best with all my little finery about me?

Mrs. Hardcastle. Consult your glass, my dear, and then see if with such a pair of eyes you want any better sparklers. What do you think, Tony, my dear? does your cousin Con want any jewels in your eyes, to set off her beauty?

Tony. That's as thereafter may be.

Miss Nerille. I'll not believe it! this is but a shallow pretence to deny me. I know they are too valuable to be so slightly kept, and as you are to answer for the loss▬▬

Mrs. Hardcastle. Don't be alarmed, Constance. If they be lost, I must restore an equivalent. But my son knows they are missing, and not to be found.

Tony. That I can bear witness to. They are missing, and not to be found; I'll take my oath on't.

Mrs. Hardcastle. You must learn resignation, my dear; for though we lose our fortune, yet we should not lose our patience. See me, how calm I am.

Miss Neville. Ay, people are generally calm at the misfortunes of others.

Mrs. Hardcastle. Now I wonder a girl of your good sense should waste a thought upon such trumpery. We shall soon find them; and in the mean time you shall make use of my garnets till your jewels be found.

Miss Neville. I detest garnets.

Mrs. Hardcastle. The most becoming things in the world to set off a clear complexion. You have often seen how well they look upon me: you shall have them. [Exit.

Miss Neville. I dislike them of all things. You shan't stir.-Was ever any thing so provoking, to mislay my own jewels, and force me to wear her trumpery.

Tony. Don't be a fool. If she gives you the Miss Neville. My dear aunt, if you knew how garnets, take what you can get. The jewels are it would oblige me.

Mrs. Hardcastle. A parcel of old-fashioned rose and table cut things. They would make you look like the court of King Solomon at a puppet-show. Besides, I believe, I can't readily come at them. They may be missing, for aught I know to the contrary.

Tony [apart to Mrs. Hardcastle]. Then, why don't you tell her so at once, as she's so longing

your own already. I have stolen them out of her bureau, and she does not know it. Fly to your spark, he'll tell you more of the matter. Leave me to manage her.

Miss Neville. My dear cousin!

Tony. Vanish. She's here and has missed them already. [Exit Miss Neville.] Zounds! how she fidgets and spits about like a catherine wheel.

Enter MRS. HARDCASTLE.

asked me if you were the bar maid. He mistoo you for the bar-maid, madam.

Mrs. Hardcastle. Confusion! thieves! robbers! Miss Hardcastle. Did he? Then as I live I'm we are cheated, plundered, broke open, undone. resolved to keep up the delusion. Tell me, PimTony. What's the matter, what's the matter, ple, how do you like my present dress? Don't mamma? I hope nothing has happened to any of you think I look something like Cherry in the Beaux Stratagem?

the good family?

Mrs. Hardcastle. We are robbed. My bureau has been broken open, the jewels taken out, and

I'm undone.

Tony. Oh! is that all? Ha! ha! ha! By the laws, I never saw it better acted in my life. Ecod, I thought you was ruined in earnest, ha! ha! ha! Mrs. Hardcastle. Why, boy, I'm ruined in earnest. My bureau has been broken open, and all taken away.

Tony. Stick to that: ha! ha! ha! stick to that. I'll bear witness, you know; call me to bear wit

ness.

Maid. It's the dress, madam, that every lady

wears in the country, but when she visits or receives company.

Miss Hardcastle. And are you sure he does not remember my face or person?

Maid. Certain of it.

Miss Hardcastle. I vow I thought so; for though we spoke for some time together, yet his fears were such that he never once looked up during the interview. Indeed, if he had, my bonnet would have kept him from seeing me.

Maid. But what do you hope from keeping him in his mistake?

Mrs. Hardcastle. I tell you, Tony, by all that's precious, the jewels are gone, and I shall be ruined Miss Hardcastle. In the first place, I shall be for ever. scen, and that is no small advantage to a girl Tony. Sure I know they are gone, and I'm to who brings her face to market. Then I shall persay so. haps make an acquaintance, and that's no small

Mrs Hardcastle. My dearest Tony, but hear victory gained over one who never addresses any me. They're gone, I say.

Tony. By the laws, mamma, you make me for to laugh, ha! ha! I know who took them well enough, ha! ha! ha!

Mrs. Hardcastle. Was there ever such a block

head, that can't tell the difference between jest and earnest? I tell you I'm not in jest, booby.

but the wildest of our sex. But my chief aim is to take my gentleman off his guard, and like an invisible champion of romance, examine the giant's force before I offer to combat.

Maid. But are you sure you can act your part, and disguise your voice so that he may mistake that, as he has already mistaken your person?

Tony. That's right, that's right: you must,be Miss Hardcastle. Never fear me. I think I in a bitter passion, and then nobody will suspect have got the true bar cant-Did your honour call? either of us. I'll bear witness that they are gone. Attend the Lion there.-Pipes and tobacco for Mrs. Hardcastle. Was there ever such a cross-the Angel.—The Lamb has been outrageous this grained brute, that won't hear me? Can you bear half hour.

witness that you're no better than a fool? Was

ever poor woman so beset with fools on one hand, and thieves on the other?

Tony. I can bear witness to that.

Maid. It will do, madam. But he's here.

[Exit Maid.

Enter MARLOW.

Marlow. What a bawling in every part of the

Mrs. Hardcastle. Bear witness again, you blockhead you, and I'll turn you out of the room house. I have scarce a moment's repose. If I go directly. My poor niece, what will become of her! to the best room, there I find my host and his Do you laugh, you unfeeling brute, as if you enjoyed my distress?

Tony. I can bear witness to that.
Mrs. Hardcastle. Do you insult me, monster?
I'll teach you to vex your mother, I will.
Tony. I can bear witness to that.

[He runs off, she follows him.

Enter MISS HARDCASTLE and MAID. Miss Hardcastle. What an unaccountable creature is that brother of mine, to send them to the house as an inn, ha! ha! I don't wonder at his impudence.

Maid. But what is more, madam, the young gentleman, as you passed by in your present dress,

story; if I fly to the gallery, there we have my
hostess with her courtesy down to the ground. I
have at last got a moment to myself, and now for
recollection.
[Walks and muses.
Miss Hardcastle. Did you call, sir? Did your
honour call?

Marlow [musing]. As for Miss Hardcastle,
she's too grave and sentimental for me.
Miss Hardcastle. Did your honour call?

[She still places herself before him, he turning away.

Marlow. No, child. [Musing.] Besides, from the glimpse I had of her, I think she squints. Miss Hardcastle. I'm sure, sir, I heard the bell ring,

Marlow. No, no. [Musing.] I have pleased my ha! ha! A mere awkward squinting thing; no, father, however, by coming down, and I'll to-mor- no. I find you don't know me. I laughed and row please myself by returning.

rallied her a little; but I was unwilling to be too severe. No, I could not be too severe, curse me! Miss Hardcastle. O then, sir, you are a favourite, I find, among the ladies?

Marlow. Yes, my dear, a great favourite. And

Miss Hardcastle. I should be glad to know, sir. yet, hang me, I don't see what they find in me to follow. At the ladies' club in town I'm called We have such a parcel of servants! Marlow. No, no, I tell you. [Looks full in her their agreeable Rattle. Rattle, child, is not my face.] Yes, child, I think I did call. I wanted-real name, but one I'm known by. My name I wanted-I vow, child, you are vastly handsome. Solomons-Mr. Solomons, my dear, at your serMiss Hardcastle. O la, sir, you'll make one vice. ashamed.

[Offering to salute her. Miss Hardcastle. Hold, sir; you are introducing me to your club, not to yourself. And you're so great a favourite there, you say?

Marlow. Yes, my dear. There's Mrs. Mantrap, Lady Betty Blackleg, the Countess of Sligo,

Miss Hardcastle. No, sir; we have been out of Mrs. Langhorns, old Miss Biddy Buckskin, and that these ten days. your humble servant, keep up the spirit of the place. Then it is a very merry

Marlow. One may call in this house, I find to very little purpose. Suppose I should call for a taste, just by way of trial, of the nectar of your place, I suppose?

lips; perhaps I might be disappointed in that too. Marlow. Yes, as merry as cards, supper, wine,

Miss Hardcastle. And who wants to be ac- times following. quainted with you? I want no such acquaintance, not I. I'm sure you did not treat Miss Hardcastle, that was here awhile ago, in this obstropalous manner. I'll warrant me, before her you looked dashed, and kept bowing to the ground, and talked for all the world as if you were before a Justice of Peace.

Marlow [aside]. Egad, she has hit it, sure enough! [To her.] In awe of her, child? Ha!

but he's still the modest man I first took him for; [the mean time I'll go amuse my aunt with the old you'll be convinced of it as well as I. pretence of a violent passion for my cousin.

[Exit.

Enter MARLOW, followed by a Servant.
Marlow. I wonder what Hastings could mean

Hardcastle. By the hand of my body I believe his impudence is infectious! Didn't I see him seize your hand? Didn't I see him haul you about like a milk-maid? And now you talk of his respect and his modesty, forsooth! Miss Hardcastle. But if I shortly convince you by sending me so valuable a thing as a casket to of his modesty, that he has only the faults that keep for him, when he knows the only place I will pass off with time, and the virtues that will have is the seat of a post-coach at an inn-door. improve with age, I hope you'll forgive him. Have you deposited the casket with the landlady,

Hardcastle. The girl would actually make one as I ordered you? Have you put it into her own

hands?

Servant. Yes, your honour.

run mad! I tell you I'll not be convinced. I am
convinced. He has scarce been three hours in
the house, and he has already encroached on all
my prerogatives. You may like his impudence,
and call it modesty; but my son-in-law, madam,
must have very different qualifications.
Miss Hardcastle. Sir, I ask but this night to count of myself.
convince you.

Hardcastle. You shall not have half the time, for I have thoughts of turning him out this very

hour.

Miss Hardcastle. Give me that hour then, and I hope to satisfy you.

Hardcastle. Well, an hour let it be then. But I'll have no trifling with your father. All fair and open, do you mind me.

Marlow. She said she'd keep it safe, did she? Servant. Yes, she said she'd keep it safe enough; she asked me how I came by it? and she said she had a great mind to make me give an ac[Exit Servant.

Marlow. Ha! ha! ha! They're safe, however. What an unaccountable set of beings have we got amongst! This little bar-maid though runs in my head most strangely, and drives out the absurdities of all the rest of the family. She's mine, she must be mine, or I'm greatly mistaken.

Enter HASTINGS.

Hastings. Bless me! I quite forgot to tell her

garden. Marlow here, and in spirits too!

Miss Hardcastle. I hope, sir, you have ever that I intended to prepare at the bottom of the found that I considered your commands as my pride; for your kindness is such, that my duty as yet has been my inclination.

ACT IV.

[Exeunt.

Enter HASTINGS and MISS NEVILLE.

Hastings. You surprise me: Sir Charles Marlow expected here this night! Where have you had your information?

Miss Neville. You may depend upon it. I just saw his letter to Mr. Hardcastle, in which he tells kim he intends setting out a few hours after his

son.

Hastings. Then, my Constance, all must be completed before he arrives. He knows me; and, should he find me here, would discover my name, and perhaps my designs, to the rest of the family. Miss Neville. The jewels, I hope, are safe? Hastings. Yes, yes. I have sent them to Marlow, who keeps the keys of our baggage. In the mean time I'll go to prepare matters for our elopement. I have had the 'Squire's promise of a fresh pair of horses; and if I should not see him again, will write him further directions. [Exit.

Miss Neville. Well! success attend you. In

Marlow. Give me joy, George! Crown me, shadow me with laurels! Well, George, after all, we modest fellows don't want for success among the women.

Hastings. Some women, you mean. But what success has your honour's modesty been crowned with now, that it grows so insolent upon us?

Marlow. Didn't you see the tempting, brisk, lovely, little thing, that runs about the house with a bunch of keys to its girdle?

Hastings. Well, and what then?

Marlow. She's mine, you rogue you. Such fire, such motion, such eyes, such lips-but, egad! she would not let me kiss them though.

Hastings. But are you so sure, so very sure of her?

Marlow. Why, man, she talked of showing me her work above stairs, and I am to approve the pattern.

Hastings. But how can you, Charles, go about to rob a woman of her honour?

Marlow. Pshaw! pshaw! We all know the honour of the bar-maid of an inn. I don't intend to rob her, take my word for it; there's nothing in this house I shan't honestly pay for.

Hastings. I believe the girl has virtue.

Marlow. And if she has, I should be the last man in the world that would attempt to corrupt it.