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S. Dro. Not that Adam, that kept the paradise ; but that Adam, that keeps the prison ; he that goes in the calves-skin, that was kill'd for the prodigal; he that came behind you, Sir, like an evil angel, and bid you forsake your liberty.
S. Ant. I understand thee not.
S. Dro. No? why, 'tis a plain case; he that went-like a base-viol in a case of leather ; the man, Sir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a fob, and 'rests them; he, sir, that takes pity on decay'd men, and gives 'em fuits of durance ; he, that sets up his reft to do more exploits with his mace, than a morris-pike.
S. Ant. What ! thou mean't an officer ?
S. Dro. Ay, Sir, the ferjeant of the band; he, that brings any man to answer it, that breaks his bond ; one that thinks a man always going to bed, and faith, God give you good rest !
s. Ant. Well, Sir, there rest in your foolery. there any ship puts forth to night? may we be gone!
S. Dro. Why, Sir, I brought you word an hour fince, that the bark Expedition puts forth to night, and then were you hinder'd by the ferjeant, to tarry for the hoy Delay; here are the angels that you sent for, to deliver you.
S. Ant. The fellow is distract, and so am I,
Enter a Courtezan.
S. Ant. Satan, avoid! I charge thee, tempt me not.
S. Dro. Nay, she is worse, she's the devil's dam; and here she comes in the habit of a light wench, and thereof comes, that the wenches fay, God dam me, that's as much as to say, God make me a light wench. It is written, they appear to men like angels of light ; light
is an effect of fire, and fire will burn; ergo, light wenches will burn ; come not near hera
Cour. Your man and you are marvellous merry, Sir. Will you go with me, we'll mend our dinner here?
S. Dro. Mafter, if you do expect spoon-ineat, bespeak a long spoon. S. Ant. Why, Dromio ?
S. Dro. Marry, he must have a long spoon, that must eat with the devil. S. Ant. Avoid then, fiend! what tell'it. thou me of
supping? Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress : I conjure thee to leave me, and be gone.
Cour. Give me the ring of mine, you had at dinner, Or for my diamond the chain you promis'd, And I'll be gone, Sir, and not trouble you.
S. Dro. Some devils ask but the parings of one's nail, á rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin, a nut, a cherryfone: but she, more covetous, would have a chain. Mafter, be wise ; an if you give it her, the devil will hake her chain, and fright us with it.'
Cour. I pray you, Sir, my ring, or else the chain; I hope, you do not mean to cheat me fo ?
S. Ant. Avaunt, thou witch ! come, Dromio, let us go. 8. Dro. Fly pride, says the peacock ; mistress, that
[Exeunt. Manet Courtezan. Cour. Now, out of doubt, Antipholis is mad; Else would he never so demean himself. A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats, And for the same he promis'd me a chain ; Both one, and other, he denies me now, The reason, that I gather, he is mad, Besides this present instance of his rage) Is a mad tale he told to day at dinner, Of his own door being shut againft his entrance. Belike, his wife, acquainted with his fits, On purpose Thut the doors against his way. My way is now to hie home to his house,
And tell his wife, that, being lunatick,
[Exit. SCENE changes to the Street.
Enter Antipholis of Ephesus, with a Jailor. I. Ant. TEAR me not, man ; I will not break away ;
I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, fo much
Enter Dromio of Ephesus, with a Rope's-end.
E. Dro. To a rope’s-end, Sir ; and to that end am I return'd. E. Ant. And to that end, Sir, I will welcome you.
[Beats Dromio. Ofi. Good Sir, be patient.
É. Dro. Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity.
Of. Good now, hold thy tongue.
blows. E. Ant. Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and fo is an ass.
E. Dro. I am an afs, indeed ; you may prove it by my long ears. I have sery'd him from the hour of my nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his hands for my
service but blows. When I am cold, he heats me with beating ; when I am warm, he cools me with beating ; I am wak'd with it, when I seep; rais'd with it, when I fit; driven out of doors with it, when I go from home ; welcom'd home with it, when I return; nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a beggar wont her brat; and, I think, when he hath lam'd me, I shall beg with it from door to door.
Enter Adriana, Luciana, Courtezan, and Pinch.
E. Dro. Mistress, respice finem, respect your end ; or rather the prophecie, like the parrot, beware the rope’send. E. Ant. Wilt thou still talk ?
[Beats Dromio. Cour. How say you now? is not your husband mad?
Adr. His incivility confirms no less. Good Doctor Pinch, you are a Conjurer, Establish him in his true sense again, And I will please you what you will demand. Luc. Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks! Cour. Mark, how he trembles in his extasie! Pinch. Give me your hand, and let me feel your pulse. E. Ant. There is my hand, and let it feel your ear. Pinch. I charge thee, Satan, hous'd within this man, To yield possession to my holy prayers ; And to thy state of darkness hie thee strait, I conjure thee by all the Saints in heav’ul.
E. Ant. Peace, doaring wizard, peace; I am not mad. Adr. Oh, that thou wert not, poor distressed soul !
E. Ant. You minion, you, are these your customers ? Did this companion with the faffron face Revel and feast it at my house to day, Whilft upon me the guilty doors were shut, And I deny'd to enter in my house? Adr. Oh, husband, God doth know, you din'd at home, K 3
Where, 'would you had remain'd until this time,
Thut out. E. Ant. And did not fhe herself revile me there? E. Dro. Sans fable, fhe herself revil'd you there. E. Ant. Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt, and
scorn me ? E. Dro. Certes, she did, the kitchen-veftal scorn'd you. E. Ant. And did I not in rage depart from thence ? E. Dro. In verity, you did; my bones bear witness, That since have felt the vigour of your rage.
Adr. Is't good to sooth him in these contraries ?
Pinch. It is no shame; the fellow finds his vein, And, yielding to him, humours well his frenzy.
E. Ant. Thou haft fuborn'd the goldsmith to arreft
Adr. Alas, I sent you mony to redeem you, By Dromio here, who came in haste for it.
E. Dro. Mony by me? heart and good will you might, But, surely, master, not a rag,
mony. E. Ant. Went'ft not thou to her for a purse of ducats? Adr. He came to me, and I deliver'd it. Luc. And I am witness with her, that she did. E. Dro. God and the rope maker do bear me witness, That I was fent for nothing but a rope.
Pinch. Mistrefs, both man and master are posseft ; I know it by their pale and deadly looks ; They must be bound, and laid in some dark room. E. Ant. Say, wherefore didit thou lock me forth to
day, And why doft thou deny the bag of gold ?
Adr. I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth.
E. Dro. And, gentle master, I receiv'd no gold, But I confess, Sir, that we were lock'd out. Adr. Dissembling villain, thou speak it false in both.