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S. Ant. (12) What's her name?

S. Dro. Nell, Sir ;- but her name and three quarters (that is, an ell and three quarters) will not measure her from hip to hip.

S. Ant. Then the bears some breadth ?

S. Dro. No longer from head to foot, than from hip to hip; she is spherical, like a globe : I could find out countries in her.

S. Ant. In what part of her body stands Ireland?

S. Dro. Marry, Sir, in her buttocks ; I found it out by the bogs.

S. Ant. Where Scotland ?

S. Dro. I found it out by the barrenness, hard in the palm of her hand.

S. Ant. (13) Where France ?

S. Dro. In her forehead; arm’d and reverted, making war against her heir.

S. Ant. (12) S. Ant. What's her Name?

S. Dro. Nell, Sir; but her Name is three Quarters ; that is, an Ell and three Quarters, &c.] This Paffage has hitherto Jain as perplext and unintelligible, as it is now easy, and truly humourous. If a Conundrum be restord, in setting it right, who can help it : There are enough besides in our Author, and Ben Jonson, to countenance that current Vice of the Times when this Play appear’d. Nor is Mr. Pope, in the Chastity of his Tafte, to bristle up at Me for the Revival of this Witticism, fince I owe the Corre&ion to the Sagacity of the ingenious Dr. Thirlby. (13) S. Ant. Where France ?

S. Dro. In her Forehead; arm'd and reverted, making War against her Hair.) All the other countries, mention'd in this Lefcription, are in Dromio's Replies satirically characteriz'd: but here, as the Editors have order'd it, no Remark is made upon France ; nor any Reason given, why it should be in her Forehead : but only the Kitchen-wench's high Forehead is sallied, as pushing back her Hair. Thus all the modern Editions ; but the first Folio reads. - making War against her Heir.- - And I am very apt to think, this Laft is the true Reading; and that an Equivoque, as the French call it, a double Meaning, is design'd in the Poet's Allusion : and therefore ! have replac'd it in the Text, la 1589, Henry III, of France

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S. Ant. Where England ?

S. Dro. I look'd for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no whiteness in them ; but I guess, it stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran between France and it.

S. Ant. Where Spain ?

S. Dro. Faith, I saw it not, but I felt it hot in her breath

S. Ant. 'Where America, the Indies? S. Dro. Oh, Sir, upon her nose, all o'er embellish'd with rubies, carbuncles, saphires ; declining their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain, who sent whole armadoes of carracts to be ballast at her nose.

S. Ant. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands?

S. Dro. Oh, Sir, I did not look so low. To conclude, this drudge, or diviner, laid claim to me, call'd me Dromio, swore I was assur'd to her, told me what privy marks I had about me, as the marks of my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left arm, that I, amaz’d, ran from her as a witch. And, I think, if my breaft had not been made of faith, and my heart of steel, she had transform’d me to a curtal-dog, and made me turn i'th' wheel.

S. Ant. Go, hie thee presently; post to the road ; And if the wind blow any way from shore, I will not harbour in this town to night. bark put

forth, come to the mart; Where I will walk, 'till thou return to me: being ftab’d, and dying of his Wound, was succeeded by Henry IV. of Navarre, whom

he appointed his Successor ; but whose Claim the States of France refifted, on account of his being a Procestant. This, I take it, is what he means, by France making War againft her Heir. Now as, in 1591, Queen Elizabeth sent over 4000 Men, under the Conduct of the Earl of Essex, to the Affiftance of this Henry of Navarre ; it seems to me very probable, that during this Expedition being on foot, this Comedy made its Appearance. And it was the finest Address imaginable in the Poet, to throw such an oblique Sneer at France, for opposing the Succession of that Heir, whose Claim his Royal Miftress, the Queen, had fent over a Force to eftablich, and oblige them to acknowledge.



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If every one know us, and we know none,
'Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack and be gone.

S. Dro. As from a bear a man would run for life,
So fly I from her that would be my wife. [Exit.

S. Ant. There's none but witches do inhabit here;
And therefore 'tis high time that I were hence :
She, that doth call me husband, even my soul
Doth for a wife abhor. But her fair filter,
Posselt with such a gentle sovereign grace,
Of such inchanting presence and discourse,
Hath almost made me traitor to myself:
But left myself be guilty of self-wrong,
I'll stop mine ears against the mermaid's song,

Enter Angelo, with a Chain.
Ang. Master Artippolis,
S. Ant. Ay, that's my name.

Ang. I know it well, Sir ; lo, here is the chain ;
I thought t have ta’en you at the Porcupine ;
The chain, unfinish'd, made me stay thus long.

S. Ant. What is your will, that I fall do with this ? Ang. What please yourself, Sir; I have made it for you S. Ant. Made it for me, Sir! I bespoke it not.

Ang. Not once, nor twice, but twenty times, you haver Go home with it, and please your wife withal ; And soon at supper-time I'll visit you, And then receive my mony for the chain.

S. Ant. I pray you, Sir, receive the mony now;
For fear you ne'er fee chain, nor mony, more.
Ang. You are a merry man, Sir ; fare


S. Ant. What I should think of this, I cannot tell :
But this I think, there's no man is so vain,
That would refuse so fair an offer'd chain.
I fee, a man here needs not live by shifts,
When in the streets he meets such golden gifts :
I'll to the mart, and there for Dromio stay;
If any fhip put out, then strait away.




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SCENE, The Street.
Enter a Merchant, Angelo, and an Officer,



POU know, fince Pentecoff the sum is due ;
And since I have not much importun’d you ;

Nor now I had not, but that I am bound
To Perfia, and want gilders for my voyage :
Therefore make present satisfaction ;
Or l'll attach you by this officer.

Ang. Ev'n juft the sum, that I do owe to you,
Is growing to me by Antipholis ;
And, in the instant that I met with you,
He had of me a chain : at five o'clock,
I fall receive the mony for the same:
Please you but walk with me down to his house,
I will discharge my bond, and thank you too.
Enter Antipholis of Ephesus, and Dromio of Ephesus,

as from the Courtezan's. Ofi. That labour you may save : see, where he comes. E. Ant. While I go to the goldsmith's house, go thou

a rope's end ; that will I bestow Among my wife and her confederates, Por locking me out of my doors by day. But, soft; I see the goldsmith: get thee gone, Buy thou a rope, and bring it home to me. E. Dro. I buy a thousand pound a year ! I buy a rope !

[Exit Dromio. E. Ant. A man is well holp up, that trusts to you: I promised your presence, and the chain : But neither chain, nor goldsmith, came to me:


And buy

Belike, you thought, our love would laft too long
If it were chain’d together ; therefore came not,
Ang. Saving your

merry humour, here's the note,
How much your chain weighs to the utmost carrat;
The fineness of the gold, the chargeful fashion ;
Which do amount to three odd ducats more,
Than I stand debted to this gentleman ;
I pray you, see him presently discharg'd;
For he is bound to sea, and itays but for it.

E. Ant. I am not furnish'd with the present mony;
Besides, I have some business in the town ;
Good Signior, take the stranger to my house,
And with you take the chain, and bid my wife
Disburse the sum on the receipt thereof;
Perchance, I will be there as soon as you.

Ang. Then you will bring the chain to her yourself ?
E. Ant. No ; bear it with you, left I come not tim

Ang. Well, Sir, I will : have you the chain abou

E. Ant. An if I have not, Sir, I hope, you have
Or else you may return without your mony.

Ang. Nay, come, I pray you, Sir, give me the chain
Both wind and tide stay for this gentleman;
And I, to blame, have held him here too long.

E. Ant. Good lord, you use this dalliance to excuse
Your breach of promise to the Porcupine:
I should have chid you for not bringing it;
But, like a shrew, you first begin to brawl.

Mer. The hour steals on ; I pray you, Sir, dispatch.
Ang. You hear, how he importunes me; the chain-
E. Ant. Why, give it to my wife, and fetch your

Ang. Come, come, you know, I gave it you ev'n now.
Or send the chain, or send me by some token.

E. Ant. Fie, now you run this humour out of breath :
Come, where's the chain? I pray you, let me see it.

Mer. My business cannot brook this dalliance :
Good Sir, say, whe'r you'll answer me, or no;
If not, l'll leave him to the officer.

E. Ant.


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