Ros. Why, horns; which such as you are fain to be beholden to your wives for: but he comes armed in his fortune, and prevents the slander of his wife. Orl. Virtue is no horn-maker, and my Rosalind is virtuous. Ros. And I am your Rosalind. Cel. It pleases him to call you so; but he hath a Rosalind of a better leer than you. Ros. Come, woo me, woo me; for now I am in a holiday humour, and like enough to consent.What would you say to me now, an I were your very very Rosalind? Örl. I would kiss before I spoke. Ros. Nay, you were better speak first; and when you were gravelled for lack of matter, you might take occasion to kiss. Very good orators, when they are out, they will spit; and for lovers, lacking (God warn us!) matter, the cleanliest shift is to kiss. Orl. How if the kiss be denied? Ros. Then she puts you to entreaty, and there begins new matter. Orl. Who could be out, being before his beloved mistress? Ros. Marry, that should you, if I were your mistress, or I should think my honesty ranker than my wit. Orl. What, of my suit? Ros. Not out of your apparel, and yet out of your suit. Am not I your Rosalind? Orl. I take some joy to say you are, because I would be talking of her. Ros. Well, in her person, I say-I will not have you. Orl. Then, in mine own person, I die. Ros. No, 'faith, die by attorney. The poor world is almost six thousand years old, and in all this time there was not any man died in his own person, videlicet, in a love-cause. Troilus had his brains dashed out with a Grecian club; yet he did what he could to die before, and he is one of the patterns of love. Leander, he would have lived many a fair year, though Hero had turned nun, if it had not been for a hot midsummer night; for, good youth, he went but forth to wash him in the Hellespont. and, being taken with the cramp, was drowned, and the foolish chroniclers of that age found it wasHero of Sestos. But these are all lies: men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for love. Orl. I would not have my right Rosalind of this mind, for, I protest, her frown might kill me. Ros. By this hand, it will not kill a fly. But come, now I will be your Rosalind in a more comingon disposition, and ask me what you will, I will grant it. Orl. Then love me, Rosalind. Ros. You must begin,-"Will you, Orlando,"Cel. Go to.-Will you, Orlando, have to wife this Rosalind? Orl. I will. Ros. Ay, but when? Orl. Why now; as fast as she can marry us. Ros. Then you must say, "I take thee, Rosalind, for wife." Orl. I take thee, Rosalind, for wife. Ros. I might ask you for your commission; but, -I do take thee, Orlando, for my husband:-there's a girl, goes before the priest; and, certainly, a wo Ros. Yes, faith will I; Fridays, and Saturdays, man's thought runs before her actions. and all. Orl. So do all thoughts: they are winged. Ros. Now tell me, how long you would have her, after you have possessed her? Orl. For ever, and a day. No, no, Ros. Say a day, without the ever. Orlando: men are April when they woo, December when they wed: maids are May when they are maids, but the sky changes when they are wives. I will be more jealous of thee than a Barbary cockpigeon over his hen; more clamorous than a parrot against rain; more new-fangled than an ape; more giddy in my desires than a monkey: I will weep for nothing, like Diana in the fountain, and I will do that when you are disposed to be merry; I will laugh like a hyen, and that when thou art inclined to sleep. Orl. But will my Rosalind do so? Ros. By my life, she will do as I do. Ros. Or else she could not have the wit to do this: the wiser, the waywarder. Make the doors upon a woman's wit, and it will out at the casement; shut that, and 'twill out at the key-hole; stop that, 'twill fly with the smoke out at the chimney. Orl. A man that had a wife with such a wit, he might say," Wit, whither wilt?" Ros. Nay, you might keep that check for it, till you meet your wife's wit going to your neighbour's bed. Orl. And what wit could wit have to excuse that? Ros. Marry, to say, she came to seek you there. You shall never take her without her answer, unless you take her without her tongue. O! that woman that cannot make her fault her husband's occasion, let her never nurse her child herself, for she will breed it like a fool. Orl. For these two hours, Rosalind, I will leave thee. Ros. Alas, dear love! I cannot lack thee two hours. Orl. I must attend the duke at dinner: by two o'clock I will be with thee again. Ros. Ay, go your ways, go your ways.-I knew what you would prove; my friends told me as much, and I thought no less-that flattering tongue of yours won me :-'tis but one cast away, and so,— come, death!-Two o'clock is your hour? Orl. Ay, sweet Rosalind. Ros. By my troth, and in good earnest, and so God mend me, and by all pretty oaths that are not dangerous, if you break one jot of your promise, or come one minute behind your hour, I will think you the most pathetical break-promise, and the most hollow lover, and the most unworthy of her you call Rosalind, that may be chosen out of the gross band of the unfaithful. Therefore, beware my censure, and keep your promise. Orl. With no less religion, than if thou wert indeed my Rosalind: so, adieu. Ros. Well, time is the old justice that examines all such offenders, and let time try. Adieu! [Erit ORLANDO. Cel. You have simply misused our sex in your love-prate. We must have your doublet and hose plucked over your head, and show the world what the bird hath done to her own nest. Ros. O coz, coz, coz, my pretty little coz, that thou didst know how many fathom deep I am in love! But it cannot be sounded: my affection hath an unknown bottom, like the bay of Portugal. Cel. Or rather, bottomless; that as fast as you pour affection in, it runs out. Ros. No; that same wicked bastard of Venus, that was begot of thought, conceived of spleen, and born of madness; that blind rascally boy, that abuses every one's eyes, because his own are out, let him be judge how deep I am in love.-I'll tell thee, Aliena, I cannot be out of the sight of Orlando. I'll go find a shadow, and sigh till he come. Cel. And I'll sleep. [Exeunt. [Giving a letter. I know not the contents; but as I guess, Ros. Patience herself would startle at this letter, Sil. No, I protest; I know not the contents: Ros. I saw her hand: she has a leathern hand, I say, she never did invent this letter; This is a man's invention, and his hand. Sil. Sure, it is hers. Ros. Why, 'tis a boisterous and a cruel style, A style for challengers: why, she defies me, Like Turk to Christian. Woman's gentle brain Could not drop forth such giant-rude invention, Such Ethiop words, blacker in their effect Than in their countenance.-Will you hear the letter? "Art thou god to shepherd turn'd, That a maiden's heart hath burn'd?" Can a woman rail thus? Sil. Call you this railing? Ros. "Why, thy godhead laid apart, Warr'st thou with a woman's heart?" Did you ever hear such railing? "Whiles the eye of man did woo me, That could do no vengeance to me."Meaning me a beast.— If the scorn of your bright eyne Ros. Do you pity him? no; he deserves no pity.-Wilt thou love such a woman?-What, to make thee an instrument, and play false strains upon thee? not to be endured!-Well, go your way to her, (for I see, love hath made thee a tame snake,) and say this to her:-that if she love me, I charge her to love thee; if she will not, I will never have her, unless thou entreat for her.—If you be a true lover, hence, and not a word, for here comes more company. [Exit SILVIUS. Enter OLIVER. Oli. Good morrow, fair ones. Pray you, if you know, Where in the purlieus of this forest stands Cel. West of this place, down in the neighbour bottom: The rank of osiers, by the murmuring stream, Left on your right hand, brings you to the place. But at this hour the house doth keep itself; There's none within. Oli. If that an eye may profit by a tongue, Then should I know you by description; Such garments, and such years:-"The boy is fair, Of female favour, and bestows himself Like a ripe sister: the woman low, And browner than her brother." Are not you The owner of the house I did inquire for? Cel. It is no boast, being ask'd, to say, we are. Oli. Orlando doth commend him to you both; And to that youth, he calls his Rosalind, He sends this bloody napkin. Are you he? Ros. I am. What must we understand by this? Oli. Some of my shame; if you will know of me What man I am, and how, and why, and where Cel. And high top bald with dry antiquity, A wretched ragged man, o'ergrown with hair, A green and gilded snake had wreath'd itself, Lay couching, head on ground, with catlike watch, To prey on nothing that doth seem as dead. Oli. 'Twas I; but 'tis not I. I do not shame To tell this story, that you might excuse Ros. Counterfeit, I assure you. Oli. Well then, take a good heart, and counterfeit to be a man. Ros. So I do; but, i' faith, I should have been a woman by right. Cel. Come; you look paler and Oli. That will I, for I must Ros. I shall devise something. SCENE I.-The Forest of Arden. Enter TOUCHSTONE, and AUDREY. Touch. We shall find a time, Audrey: patience, gentle Audrey. Aud. 'Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the old gentleman's saying. Touch. A most wicked sir Oliver, Audrey; a most vile Mar-text. But, Audrey; there is a youth here in the forest lays claim to you. Aud. Ay, I know who 'tis: he hath no interest in me in the world. Here comes the man you mean. Enter WILLIAM. Touch. It is meat and drink to me to see a clown. By my troth, we that have good wits have much to answer for: we shall be flouting; we cannot hold. Will. Good even, Audrey. Aud. God ye good even, William. Will. And good even to you, sir. Touch. Good even, gentle friend. head, cover thy head: nay, pr'ythee, be covered. How old are you, friend? Will. Five and twenty, sir. Cover thy Touch. A ripe age. Is thy name William? Will. William, sir. Touch. A fair name. Wast born i'the forest here? Will. Ay, sir, I thank God. Touch. Thank God;-a good answer. Art rich? Will. 'Faith, sir, so, so. Touch. So, so, is good, very good, very excellent good:-and yet it is not; it is but so so. Art thou wise? Will. Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit. Touch. Why, thou say'st well. I do now remember a saying; "The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool." The heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open his lips when he put it into his mouth, meaning thereby, that grapes were made to eat, and lips to open. You do love this maid? Will. I do, sir. Touch. Give me your hand. Art thou learned? Will. No, sir. Touch. Then learn this of me. To have, is to have; for it is a figure in rhetoric, that drink, being poured out of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty the other; for all your writers do consent, that ipse, is he: now, you are not ipse, for I am he. Will. Which he, sir? |