might be absolutely necessary for her support and her only living. II. Wife-seeking.-Moreover, the girl is married generally at twelve, and sometimes as early as seven years of age. She may be betrothed much younger, when a mere infant. It is rare that man or maiden marries outside the tribe to which each may belong. The father, parents, guardians, or elders are expected to arrange marriages, betrothals, and dowry contracts for the children. The Oriental modes of wife-seeking vary widely in different tribes and countries, yet they are broadly alike in their general characteristics. In Western Asia it may be the father, of his own accord, concludes it is time a wife be sought for his son. Or perhaps the father has not thought of it, and the young man says to his father, "I have enough for a marriage dowry." This means that he wants a girl-wife found for him. The father approves. The mother, or near female relative, or a Khatibeh, professional "matchmaker," is employed and instructed to find a wife for the young man. He may describe his ideal maiden to them as a guide in the search. 12. Matchmaking.-With this commission, the women "matchmakers" make diligent inquiries among all the kinsfolk respecting suitable girls, and then start on a tour of personal inspection. The mothers of marriageable girls know very well the purpose of the visit, though they may affect indifference and ignorance. The women "matchmakers" call on the mother of some daughter. The salutations are profuse; the greetings prolonged and exceedingly complimentary. The visitors are invited to sit on divans or rugs, the servant brings coffee to sip, the conversation drifts around and into every subject but the one for which the guests really came. Meanwhile the mother conveys a hint to her daughter, in another apartment or upstairs, to array herself in her best attire. Having exhausted the topics of interest and neighborhood gossip in talk, and spent hours in dallying about many things of no interest whatever to either party, the guests venture deli cately to hint at the real business. The matron perhaps asks of the hostess, "Do you happen to know or have you heard of any kinsfolk having marriageable girls?" "None suitable for so highly exalted a family as that of her caller," is the diplomatic reply. Nothing daunted, the guest proceeds, "Might we have the high pleasure to look upon the beautiful face of the lovely Anîseh, Maryam, Haddeseh?" or whatever may be the name of the daughter. With tactful diplomacy, the mother replies, "Ah, Anîseh is very young and bashful." Pressed further, she exclaims in well-feigned alarm, "My daughter would faint dead away to look upon so distinguished a person as the mother of Yakob Ibriham." But the guest is persistent, she will not be put off, so the mother calls to her daughter. The daughter hears, but appears not. She knows the custom too well to make unseemly haste in such a matter. The mother urged, calls again and again in vain. Finally, after five or six urgent pleas, the daughter comes in, closely veiled, bearing coffee on a tray, and shyly offers the customary second cup to the guests. They courteously decline to accept it until they may see the maiden's pretty face. If they accepted the second cup, custom would require them to leave. Further diplomatic parleying follows, but the veil is at last lifted and the personal inspection begins. The girl's features, form, hair, eyes, nose, lips, cheeks, and expression are carefully noted by the women "inspectors,' the parting cup of coffee accepted, and the guests depart home to report. If not satisfactory, other tours will be made to other families, until the "matchmakers" are pleased. Then on their return, with high-sounding Oriental phrases, they proclaim the girl's beauty and marvelous charms and attainments to the family and in the hearing of the young man. If the "father" is satisfied with the report, the first stage toward betrothal ends and the second begins. 13. The Contract.-The customary deputy, called "friend of the bridegroom" 1 is engaged, and entrusted to make the negotiations, arrange the contract, and pay the portion of the dowry. 1 John 3:29. Sometimes the son may ask his father to secure a particular woman for his wife, as Samson did.' So Shechem asked his father Hamor, "Get me this damsel (Dinah) to wife." The deputy or "friend of the bridegroom" is fully informed of the stipulations or conditions of the proposed marriage contract; entrusted with the treasures or money to be paid as dowry, and usually given wide discretionary power in perfecting the contract. Thus Eliezer was deputed by Abraham to find a wife for Isaac, with full power even to choose the girl, bestow the ring, bracelets, and dowry, and bring the girl back from kinsfolk in far away Mesopotamia.3 A well-known character in Palestine is the Wasît, deputy, or "go-between," in all business affairs. Sometimes the village Mukhtar or Sheikh may be chosen as the intermediary in business and family transactions. Similar agents are employed in India, China, and Japan. Sometimes. the young man's mother has her mind upon a girl among their kinsfolk or neighbors, and watches how she is trained, how her daily duties are done, whether she is careful in housework, apt at sewing, embroidery, and what are her other womanly qualities, and especially her disposition and temper. The girl is presumed to be not of a higher family than the groom; she may be of an inferior class if she has rare attractions of person and disposition. What Western peoples would count blemishes of person, the Orientals often admire. Thus, a cross-eyed girl is often a beauty with them, and is lauded by their poets, especially when she has dark eyes. A man with no hair on the back of his hands, or on his chin, or his lip, is derided as ugly, and one with a bald head is hooted at, as Elisha was by the boys.* 14. The Dowry.—The amount of the dowry depends largely upon the position and possessions of the families. With the thrifty peasantry and villagers of Syria the usual dowry is equivalent to $150 to $250. The Mosaic law rates the dowry at fifty shekels-about $30.5 The sum must be agreed on and paid in advance. Parents sometimes shrewdly make an exchange 1 Judges 14: 1-3. 2 Kings 2:2, 3. Gen. 34 4. Gen. 24: 1-67. |