Sir LUKE LIMP, Mrs. CIRCUIT, Colonel SECRET, and Mrs. SIMPER, discover'd at a table, with a collation before them.

O

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

H! by the bye, Sir Luke- take fome of these sweetmeats, my dear [to Mrs. Simper] did not you promife to introduce to me that little agreeable piece of imperfection that belongs to the opera ?-Colonel, won't you taste the champaign?

Sir LUK E.

Who, Signior Piano?-Let me assist Mrs. Simper. Why, Madam, I made an attempt; but at prefent-shan't I send you a biscuit ? he is in the poffeffion of a certain lady, who never fuffers him out of her fight for a moment.

Mrs. SIM PER.

Oh! the curmudgeon!-I am vaftly fond of these custards.

Sir LUKE.

Yes, they have a delicate flavour-but he promis'd, if poffible, to escape for an hour won't you? [to Mrs. Circuit.]

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

No, it gives me the heart-burn.-Then let us leave him a cover.

COLONEL.

By all means in the world.

Mrs. CIRCU I T.

But there is, likewife, another party, for whom a place ought to be kept.

Mrs. SIMPE R.

Another! Who can that be I wonder?

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

A fmall appendix of mine.

Sir LUK E.

How, Madam !

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

You need not be jealous, Sir Luke-tafte that tart Mrs. Simper-it is only my husband the Serjeant. Ha ha ha!-Betty makes them herself.

Mrs. SIM PER.

Oh! you abominable creature! How could fuch a thought come into your head?

Sir LUK E.

Ma'am-[Offering fweetmeats to Mrs. Simper.]

Mrs. SIMPER.

Not a bit more, I thank you.-I fwear and yow I fhould fwoon at the fight.

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

And I should receive him with the polite indifference of an abfolute stranger.

Sir LUK E.

Well faid, my good Lady Intrepid! But, notwithstanding, I would venture a trifle that his appearance would give you fuch an electrical fhock

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

You are vaftly deceiv'd.

Sir LUK E.

Dare you come to the proof? Will you give me leave to introduce Mr. Serjeant? He is not far off.

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

What, my husband?

Sir LUK E.

Even he! I faw him as I enter'd the hall.

Mrs.

Nay, then I muft fetch him. [Exit Sir Luke.

COLONEL.

I can't conceive what the knight wou'd be at. Mrs. SIM PER.

Enter Sir LUKE, with the SERJEANT'S peruke on a block.

Sir LUK E.

Now, Madam, have I reafon? Is this your husband or not?

Mrs. SIMPER.

It is he; not the leaft doubt can be made.

COLONEL.

Yes, yes, it is the Serjeant himself.

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

I own it; I acknowledge the lord of my wishes. [Kiffes the block.]

Mrs. SIM PER.

All his features are there!

COLONEL.

The grave caft of his countenance !

The filent folemnity when he fits on the Lench!

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

We must have him at table; but pray good folks let my husband appear like himself.-I'll Exit.

run for the gown.

By all means in the world.

Sir LUK E.

Dispatch, I beseech you.

Mrs. CIRCUIT returns with a gown and band.

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

Sir Luke, lend your affiftance.

COLONEL.

There, place him at the head of the table. [They fix the head at the back of a chair, and place it at table; then all fit. Mrs. SIM PER.

Madam, you'll take care of your husband. Mrs. CIRCUIT.

I don't want to be put in mind of my duty.
Mrs. SIM PER.

Oh, Madam! I know that very well.
Sir LUK E.

Come, Hob or Nob, Mafter Circuit-let us try if we can't fuddle the Serjeant.

COLONEL.

O! fye! have a proper refpect for the coif.

Mrs. SIM PER.

Don't be too facetious, Sir Luke: it is not quite fo fafe to fport with the heads of the law; you don't know how foon you may have a little bufinefs together.

Sir LUK E.

But come, the Serjeant is fulky.-I have thought of a way to divert him:-You know

he is never fo happy as when he is hearing a caufe; fuppofe we were to plead one before him; Mrs. Circuit and I to be counsel, the colonel the clerk, and Mrs. Simper the cryer.

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

The finest thought in the world! And stay, to conduct the trial with proper folemnity, let's rummage his wardrobe; we fhall there be able to equip ourselves with fuitable dresses.

[Stopping Short as they are going out.] But won't my husband be angry, if we leave him alone? Bye, dearee-we shall soon return to thee again. [Exeunt.

Enter Serj. CIRCUIT, not perceiving the collation. SERJEANT.

So, my lord not being able to fit, there was no occafion for me.-I can't put that girl's nonfense out of my head-My wife is young to be fure, and loves pleasure I own; but as to the main article, I have not the leaft ground to fufpect her in that-No, no !—And then Sir Luke! my profien ami, the dearest friend I have in the Heyday! [feeing the collation] What the deuce have we here?-A collation !-So, fo-I fee madam knows how to divert herself during my absence.-What's this? [Seeing the block] Oh, ho! ha! ha! ha!-Well, that's pretty enough I proteft.-Poor girl, I fee fhe could not be happy without having fomething at table that resembled me.-How pleas'd fhe