know how to employ. From twelve, the hour of one's rifing, to dinner, is a most horrible chafm; for though seizing the mercers and milliners by tumbling their wares, is now and then an entertaining amusement, yet upon repetition it palls. But every morning to be fure of a party, and then again at night after a rout, to have a place to retire to; to be quite freed from all pain of providing; not to be pester'd at table with the odious company of clients, and country cousins; for I am determin'd to dine, and fup at the club, every day. I can tell 'em, they'll have but very few forfeits from me.

Enter BETTY, in bafte, with a Letter.

BETTY.

By a chairman, Madam, from the Thatch'd House.

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

Give it me, Betty, this inftant;-ay-this is Mattadore's hand. [opens and reads the letter.] "My dear Circuit-it is with the utmost concern, and confufion, I find myself oblig'd to acquaint you, that notwithstanding all the pains I have taken, the club have thought fit to reject."-Oh! [be faints.]

BETTY.

Bless my foul! my lady is gone!—John! Will Kitty! run hither this inftant.

Enter two MAIDS and a Man SERVANT.

ALL.

What, what's the matter?

BETTY.

Quick! quick! fome hartfhorn and water

[pats ber band.] Madam! madam

SERVANT.

Here! here! here! [bringing water.]

BETTY.

John, go for the potter-carrier this inftantI believes to my foul fhe is dead-Kitty, fetch fome feathers to burn under her nofe;-there, stand further off, and give her fome air

Enter Sir LUKE.

Sir I, UK E.

Hey day! what the deuce is the matter? what's the meaning of all this, Mrs. Betty?

BETTY.

Oh! Sir, is it you-my poor lady! [cries] clap

the bottle hard to her nofe.

Sir LUK E.

But how came it about?

BETTY.

Some of the continents of that curs'd letter, fhe has there in her hand.

Sir LUK E.

Here, here, take fome of my eau de luce. [offering a bottle.]

BETTY.

There! fhe recovers a little-fome water-I believe it is nothing but a fatirical fit, I have had them myself-now fhe opens her eyes-fo, fo-bend her forward a little.

Nobody at all madam, but only Sir Luke.

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

Oh! Sir Luke, such a stroke, so fatal, fo fudden, it is not in nature I should ever survive it.

Sir LUK E.

Marry heaven forbid! but what cause-what could

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

Leave the room. [To the fervants, who go eut. Only, look over that letter.

Sir LUK E.

Hum, hum,-[reads] "fit to reject you

this

I own this is the utmost malice of fortunebut let me finish the letter." This calamity, "dear Circuit, is of fuch a nature as baffles all

advice, or interpofition of friends, I fhall "therefore leave you to time, and your own good understanding." [pretty and fenfible.]"yours," &c.-But let us fee, what fays the poftfcript-[reads.] "Perhaps it may give you. "fome comfort to know that you had fixteen "almonds, and but two raifins against you. Mrs. CIRCUIT.

This must be Kitty Cribbage's doing, fhe has been tattling about the paltry trifle I owe her.

Sir LUK E.

Not unlikely but come, bear up, my dear madam, and confider that, two

Granted; but perhaps it mayn't be too late to repair.-Gadfo! I have thought of a scheme --I'll be elected myself, and then I warrant we manage

You, Sir Luke? that never can be.

Sir LUK E.

No, Madam, and why not?-why you don't fuppofe that they wou'd venture to

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

1

It would not only be against the spirit, but very letter of their constitution to chuse you a member.

the

Sir LUK E.

Ay, Madam, how fo?

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

Their ftatutes are felected from all the codes that ever existed from the days of Lycurgus to the present Czarina.

Well.

Sir LUKE.

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

The law that relates to your cafe they have borrow'd from the Roman religion.

As how?

Sir L. UK E.

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

As no man can be admitted a monk, who has the least corporal spot, or defect; fo, no candidate can be receiv'd as a member who is depriv'd of the use of any one of his limbs.

Sir LUK E.

Nay, then indeed I am clearly cut out; that incapacity can never be got over.

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

Indeed, the Serjeant fays, if the club could be induc'd to refolve in your favour, then the original law would fignify nothing.

Sir LUK E.

Well, well, we'll fee what can be done. [A loud knocking.] But hufh! the company's come; collect yourself, fweet Mrs. Circuit; don't give your enemies the malicious pleasure of seeing how this disappointment affects you.

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

Never fear; I know a little too much of the world not to turn this defeat to my credit.

Enter Colonel SECRET and Mrs. SIMPER.
Mrs. SIM PER.

Your fervant, Sir Luke; my dear Circuit, I am frighten'd to death-your people tell me, you are but just recover'd from a

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

Oh! nothing at all! a faintnefs, a kind of fwimming-but thofe people are ever fwelling that mole hills to mountains...

Mrs. SIMPER.

I proteft I was afraid that you had fuffer'd your late difappointment to lay hold of your fpirits.

Mrs. CIRCUIT

What disappointment, my dear?

COLONEL.

Mrs. Simper hints at the little mistake made this morning at the Thatch'd House.