Mercury and Phædra remain.

Merc. Your Lady has made the Challenge of Reconciliation to my Lord: Here's a fair Example for us two, Phadra.

Phad. No Example at all, Sofia: for my Lady had the Diamonds before-hand, and I have none of the Gold Goblet.

Merc. The Goblet fhall be forth-coming, if thou wilt give me Weight for Weight.

Phad. Yes, and Measure for Measure too, Sofia: that is, for a Thimble-full of Gold, a Thimble-full of Love.

Merc. What think you now, Phædra? Here's a weighty Argument of Love for you!

dear Metal!

[Pulling out the Goblet in a Cafe from under his Cloak. Phad. Now Jupiter of his Mercy, let me kifs thee, O thou [Taking it in both Hands. Merc. And Venus, of her Mercy, let me kifs thee, dear, dear Phædra.

Phad. Not fo faft, Sofia! there's an unlucky Proverb in your way-Many Things happen betwixt the Cup and the Lip, you know. Merc. Why, thou wilt not cheat me of my Goblet?

Phad. Yes; as fure as you would cheat me of my Maidenhead: I am yet but juft even with you, for the last Trick you play'd me. And, befides, this is but a bare retaining Fee; you muft give me another before the Cause is open'd.

Merc. Shall I not come to your Bed-fide To-night?

Phad. No, nor To-morrow Night neither: but this shall be my Sweetheart in your Place: 'tis a better Bedfellow, and will keep me warmer in cold Weather. [Exit Phædra.

Mercury alone.

Merc. Now, what's the God of Wit in a Woman's Hand? This very Goblet I ftole from Gripus; and he got it out of Bribes too. But this is the common Fate of ill-gotten Goods, that, as they came in by Covetoufnefs, they go out by Whoring.

Enter Amphitryon.

O here's Amphitrym again, but I'll manage him above in the Balcony.

[Exit Merc.

Amph. Not one of those I look'd for, to be found!
Has fome Enchantment hid 'em from my Sight?
Perhaps, as Sofia fays, 'tis Witchcraft all:
Seals may be open'd, Diamonds may be stoln;
But how I came, in Perfon, Yefterday,
And gave that Prefent to Alcmena's Hands,
That which I never gave, nor ever came,
O there's the Rock, on which my Reafon fplits.
Wou'd that were all ! I fear my Honour, too!

I'll

I'll try her once again: She may be mad:-
A wretched Remedy! but all I have,

To keep me from Despair.

How now! what means the locking up of my
Doors at this Time of Day?

1

[Knocks.

Merc. [Above] Softly, Friend, foftly! You knock as loud, and as faucily, as a Lord's Footman, that was fent before him, to warn the Family of his Lordship's Vifit. Sure, you think the Doors have no Feeling! What the Devil are you, that rap with fuch Authority

Amph. Look out, and fee: 'tis I.

Merc. You? what you?

Amph. No more, I fay, but open.

Merc. I'll know to whom first..

Amph. I am one that can command the Doors open. Merc. Then you had beft command them, and try whether they will obey you.

Amph. Doft thou not know me?

Merc. Pr'ythee, how fhou'd I know thee? doft thou take me for a Conjurer?

Amph. What's this, Midfummer-Moon? Is all the World gone a Madding? Why Sofia!

Merc. That's my Name indeed: didft thou think I had forgot it?

Amph. Doft thou fee me?

Merc. Why, doft thou pretend to go invifible? If thou hast Bufinefs here, dispatch it quickly; I have no Leisure to throw away upon fuch prattling Companions.

any

Amph. Thy Companion, Slave? How dar'ft thou use this infolent Language to thy Mafter?

Merc. How! Thou my Mafter? By what Title? I never had any other Mafter, but Amphitryon.

Amph. Well: and for whom doít thou take me?

Merc. For fome Rogue or other; but what Rogue I know

not.

Amph. Doft thou not know me for Amphitryon, Slave!

Merc. How fhou'd I know thee, when I fee thou dost not know thyfelf? Thou Amphitryon? In what Tavern haft thou been? and how many Bottles did thy Bufinefs, to metamorphofe thee into my Lord?

Amph. I will fo drub thee for this Infolence!

Merc. How now, Impudence! are you threatning your Betters? I fhou'd bring you to condign Punishment, but that I have a great Refpect for the good Wine, tho' I find it in a Fool's Noddle.

Amph. What, none to let me in? Why Phadra! Bromia! Merc. Peace, Fellow; if my Wife hears thee, we are both

undone.

undone. At a Word Phedra and Bromia are very bufy; and my Lady, and my Lord muft not be disturbed.

Amph. Amazement feizes me!

Merc. At what art thou amaz'd? My Lord Amphitryon and my Lady Alcmena had a falling out, and are retir'd, without Seconds, to decide the Quarrel. If thou wert not a meddlesome Fool, thou wouldst not be thrusting thy Nose into other Peoples Matters. Get thee about thy Bufinefs, if thou haft any; for I'll hear no more of thee. [Exit Mercury from above. Amph. Brav'd by my Slave, difhonour'd by my Wife! To what a defp'rate Plunge am I reduc'd,

If this be true the Villain fays? But why
That feeble If! It must be true; fhe owns it.
Now, whether to conceal, or blaze th' Affront?

One way, I fpread my Infamy abroad;

And, t'other, hide a burning Coal within,
That preys upon my Vitals: I can fix
On nothing, but on Vengeance.

Enter to him Sofia, Polidas, Gripus, and Tranio.

Grip. Yonder he is; walking haftily to and fro, before his Door; like a Citizen, clapping his Sides before his Shop, in a frofty Morning: 'tis to catch a Stomach, I believe.

Sof. I begin to be afraid, that he has more Stomach to my Sides and Shoulders, than to his own Victuals. How he shakes his Head! and stamps! and what Strides he fetches! He's in one of his damn'd Moods again: I don't like the Looks of him.

Amph. Oh, my mannerly, fair fpoken, obedient Slave, are you there! I can reach you now, without climbing: Now we fhall try who's drunk, and who's fober.

Sof. Why this is as it fhould be: I was fomewhat fufpicious that you were in a peftilent Humour. Yes, we will have a Crafh at the Bottle, when your Lordship pleases: I have fummon'd 'em, you fee; and they are notable Topers, especially Judge Gripus.

Grip. Yes, faith; I never refufe my Glass, in a good Quarrel.

Amph. [To Sof.] Why, thou infolent Villain; I'll teach a Slave how to use his Mafter thus.

Sof. Here's a fine Business towards! I am fure I ran as fast as ever my Legs could carry me, to call 'em : nay you may truft my Diligence, in all Affairs belonging to the Belly.

Grip. He has been very faithful to his Commiffion, I'll bear

him witnefs.

Amph. How can you be Witness where you were not prefent? the Balcony Sirrah, the Balcony !

Sof. Why, to my beft Remembrance, you never invited the Balcony.

Amph. What Nonfenfe doft thou plead for an Excufe of thy foul Language, and thy bafe Replies!

Sof. You fright a Man out of his Senfes, firft; and blame him afterwards, for talking Nonsense :-but 'tis better for me to talk Nonsense, than for fome to do Nonfenfe: I will fay that, whatever comes on't. Pray Sir, let all Things be done decently: what, I hope, when a Man is to be hang'd, he is not trufs'd upon the Gallows like a dumb Dog, without telling him wherefore.

Amph. By your Pardon, Gentlemen; I have no longer Patience to forbear him.

Sof. Juftice, Juftice! my Lord Gripus; as you are a true Magiftrate, protect me. Here's a Process of Beating going forward, without Sentence given.

Grip. My Lord Amphitryon, this must not be: Let me first understand the Demeirts of the Criminal.

Sof. Hold you to that Point, I befeech your Honour; as you commiserate the Cafe of a poor, innocent Malefactor.

Amph. To fhut the Door against me, in my very Face! to deny me Entrance! to brave me from the Balcony ! to laugh at me, to threaten me! what Proofs of Innocence call you these? But if I punish not this Infolence

[Is going to beat him, and is held by Polidas and Tranio. I beg you let me go

Sof. I charge you in the King's Name, hold him faft; for you fee he's bloodily difpos'd.

Grip. Now, what haft thou to fay for thyfelf, Sofia?

Sof. I fay, in the firft Place,-be fure you hold him, Gentlemen; for I fhall never plead worth one Farthing, while I am bodily afraid.

Pal. Speak boldly; I warrant thee.

Saf. Then if I may speak boldly, under my Lord's Favour,I do not fay he lyes neither: no, I am too well bred for that but his Lordship fibbs most abominably.

Amph. Do you hear his Impudence? yet will you let me go? Sof. No Impudence at all, my Lord: for how cou'd I, naturally speaking, be in the Balcony and affronting you; when at the fame time I was in every Street of Thebes, inviting these Gentlemen to Dinner?

Grip. Hold a little: how long fince was it that he spoke to you, from the faid Balcony ?

Amph. Juft now; not a Minute before he brought you

hither.

Sof. Now fpeak my Witneffes.

Grip. I can answer for him, for this last half Hour.

Pal.

Pol. And I.

Tran. And I.

Sof. Now judge equitably, Gentlemen; whether I was not a civil well-bred Perfon, to tell my Lord he fibbs only ? Amph. Who gave you that Order, to invite 'em?

Sof. He that beft might; yourself. By the fame Token, you bid old Bromia provide and 'twere for a God; and I put in for a Brace, or a Leafh; no, now I think on't, it was for ten Couple of Gods, to make sure of Plenty.

Amph. When did I give thee this pretended Commiffion?

Sof. Why you gave me this pretended Commiffion, just after you had given Phaedra a Purse of Gold to bring you and my Lady together, that you might try to make up Matters with her after your Quarrel.

Amph. Where, in what Place, did I give this Order?

Sof. Here, in this Place, in the Prefence of this very Door, and of that Balcony: and if they cou'd speak, they wou'd both justify it.

Amph. O Heaven! thefe Accidents are fo furprizing, the more I think of 'em, the more I am loft in my Imagination. Grip. Nay, he has told us fome Paffages, as he came along, that feem to surpass the Power of Nature.

Sof. What think you now, my Lord, of a certain twin Brother of mine, call'd Sofia? 'tis a fly Youth: pray Heaven you have not juft fuch another Relation, within Doors, call'd Amphitryon. It may be it was he that put upon me, in your Likenefs and perhaps he may have put fomething upon your Lordfhip too, that may weigh heavy upon the Forehead.

Amph. [To those who hold him] Let me go-Sofia may be innocent, and I will not hurt him :--Open the Door, I'll refolve my Doubts immediately.

Sof. The Door is peremptory that it will not be open'd without Keys and my Brother, on the infide, is in Poffeffion; and will not part with 'em.

:

Amph. Then 'tis manifeft that I am affronted; break open the Door there.

Grip. Stir not a Man of you to his Affistance.

Amph. Doft thou take part with my Adultress too, because fhe is thy Niece?

Grip. I take Part with nothing, but the Law; and to break the Doors open, is to break the Law.

Amph. Do thou command 'em then.

Grip. I command nothing without my Warrant; and my Clerk is not here to take his Fees for drawing it.

Amph. [Afide] The Devil take all Juftice-brokers :- I curfe him too when I have been hunting him all over the Town, to

be