MR. DISRAELI, immediately on receiving his appointment as CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER, sent round the corner to a book-stall for a copy of Walkinghame's Arithmetic.

A pencil and slate, in the course of the evening, were ordered by the Right Honourable Gentleman.

The MARQUIS OF SALISBURY repaired to Downing Street, in order to procure some impressions of the Privy Seal.

LORD MALMESBURY has remained at home since his nomination to the post of Foreign Secretary, notwithstanding the very general supposition that he is abroad.

THE Royal Ink and Umbrella Stands must have been inconveniently full on Friday last, when the various officials attended for the purpose of resigning their respective seals, wands, and single-sticks. The royal SIR JOHN PAKINGTON has been occupied in making the requisite châtelaine must have been also rather encumbered by the weight of arrangements for rendering his seat in the Colonial Office comfortable, keys; and the MARQUIS OF BREADALBANE's gold one, as Lord Cham- as he finds it somewhat harder than the County Bench. berlain, must have proved a somewhat serious appendage, until HER LORD JOHN MANNERS has been surveying his family tree previously MAJESTY was relieved of it by the MARQUIS OF EXETER. Fortunately to entering on the duties of his high berth, as Chief Commissioner of the parties were soon at hand to unburden the Royal apartment of the Woods and Forests. unusual accumulation of official emblems; and we trust that in new THE EARL OF EGLINTON has buckled on his armour to enter the hands they will prove more effective than they have done in the old lists as Lord Lieutenant of Ireland. hands for the last year or two.

The MARQUIS OF WESTMINSTER has, we perceive, delivered up his ward-an absurd emblem for a Lord Chamberlain, in whose hands a wand must be of little use, as he is certainly, in most cases, no conjuror. In a sensible reign like the present, this distribution of seals which are never used, keys that open nothing, and other unmeaning appurtenances, might be done away with-the sticks to some of the little lords, being the only insignia that seem to us appropriate.

TO BE DISPOSED OF, CHEAP-THE CHILD'S CAUL, WHICH

the EARL OF DERBY made upon LORD PALMERSTON, in the hopes of inducing him join the present Ministry.

Considerable astonishment is expressed at the fact that COLONEL SIBTHORP has no place in the Cabinet.

So desirous is Little NAP. of imitating his great Uncle in every possible particular, that we understand he has recently declared his intention of in future regularly wearing his coats out at Elba!

A DIS-APPOINTMENT.-The appointment of poor Dis. as Chancellor of the Exchequer.

DOWNING
STREET

THE OCCURRENCES OF THE LAST SCENE HAVE LEFT BEHIND THEM
SO MUCH IRRITATION IN MR. BAKER, THAT MRS. BAKER HAS

JOYFULLY ACCEPTED AN INVITATION TO SPEND A WEEK WITH HER

FRIENDS, THE BULBERRIES, AT "THE MYRTLES, THEIR LITTLE
PLACE, NEAR DORKING. IT NEED SCARCELY BE ADDED THAT
SHE HAS TAKEN THE PET WITH HER, FEARING THE CON-
SEQUENCES OF LEAVING HIM AT HOME WITHIN REACH OF

Mrs. Baker. Good gracious! I wonder how you can keep such nasty troublesome things as those poultry, ruining the garden, and I'm sure the eggs can be no object in the country, here.

Mrs. Bulberry. Yes-that's what I say; but MR. BULBERRY won't hear of our interfering with the girls' pets.

Mrs. Baker. Ah! those men-they're all the same, as I was saying. Yes, my dears, remember one thing-the man that doesn't like dumb animals, and especially dogs-you know what SHAKSPEARE says about that. The man that hasn't any-music-I think it is, but it comes to the same thing-in his soul, is not to be trusted. Oh! it's just the same with dogs.

Miss Mary Bulberry. I quite agree with you, MRS. BAKER. I dote upon all sorts of things-I've my rabbits and guinea-pigs, and doves, and ELLEN 's got her bantams, and JANE once had a squirrel; but it gnawed everything, and was always falling out of window, and got tipsy, and died.

Jane. But, only think, MRS. BAKER, mamma won't let us keep a dog.
Mrs. Baker. Not keep a dog, my dears!

Mrs. Bulberry. Well, you see-with children in the house; - and there's that hydrophobia-one never knows

Mrs. Baker. My dear MKS. BULBERRY, I'm surprised you should give in to these stories. Look at my SCAMP. Can anything be pleasanter in a house than he is? To be sure, I've taken great pains with him.

Miss Tapps (sentimentally). Don't you find that attachment to any creature one does learn to love becomes painful, MRS. BAKER? You know what MOORE SAYS

"I never loved a dear gazelle-
To glad-

Mrs. Baker. Yes, my dear: but gazelles are sc delicate-now, dogs
-(a sudden scream is heard).

Mrs. Bulberry (starting up). Something's happened in the nursery!
[All rise.

Mrs. Baker. Oh dear! I hope it's nothing serious.

Enter the faithful EVANS, with the youngest BULBERRY, in curl-papers and convulsions of grief and terror.

Mrs. Bulberry. Oh, gracious me, EVANS! what is the matter with MATILDA ?

Evans. Oh, Mem! it's that dog-your dog, Mem (with a bitter look at MRS. BAKER). I was a-puttin' MISS MATILDA'S 'air up, for after dinner and the nasty dog were a-playin' with one of the curl-papers as I dropped, Mem-and when I took it from him, Mem-and was a-puttin' her side curl up, Mem-he lep at it-and pulled it off, Memand nearly tore all the dear child's curl right off wi hit, Mem-and there he goes, Mem-a-tearin' over the garding, Mem-with it in his mouth. [SCAMP is seen through the window, tossing the fragment of curlpaper and its contents in triumph, like a wild Indian with a scalp.

MR. BAKER. THE BULBERRIES ARE SEVEN IN FAMILY, HAVING my love.

THREE GROWN-UP AND TWO YOUTHFUL DAUGHTERS. TWO NIECES
OF MRS. BULBERRY ARE STAYING IN THE HOUSE. MRS. BULBERRY
IS A MOST ANXIOUS MOTHER. THE PET HAS, HITHERTO, CONDUCTED
HIMSELF WITH PROPRIETY; BUT MRS. BULBERRY IS HAUNTED
WITH AN INDISTINCT DREAD OF HYDROPHOBIA.

SCENE 9.-The Breakfast-room at "The Myrtles." There has been a
fine-wash in the house, following on a display by the ladies of their
respective treasures in the way of lace, and other loves of little things,
appertaining to the toilette. Present-MRS. BULBERRY, MARY, JANE,
and ELLEN, her three grown-up daughters, MISS TAPPS, and MIES ROSE
TAPPS, her nieces; the first an elderly young lady of thirty-seven,
the latter, a sweet creature of twenty-one. MRS. BAKER has been
giving an account of BAKER's unaccountable perverseness in the matter
of the Pet, who is beginning to be looked upon as a bore,

Mrs. Baker. Yes, my dears, you are not married yet; but there's no saying how soon you may be-any of you.

Miss Tapps (with a sigh). No, indeed; it's a thing that may come

any moment.

Mrs. Baker. Very true, my love. But, before it does come, take my advice, and satisfy yourselves that he has a good temper; andabove all-that he's kind to dumb things generally-and dogs in particular.

Mrs. Bulberry feeling that they are drifting on the Pet, as usual). Rose, my dear, did you ask EVANS to put out those little things on the back lawn?.

Mrs. Baker. Oh! I'm so sorry-but it's all playfulness. Don't cry [To MATILDA. Mrs. Bulberry. Oh, goodness! I hope he hasn't bit the child! Evans. Well, Mem, I 'ope not, Mem-leastways I don't think the skin's broke, Mem. Mrs. Bulberry. Oh-do let me look, EVANS!

[She eagerly examines MISS MATILDA's temple in the neighbourhood of the missing curl.

Mem, that that dog may be kep out of the nussery, Mem-for of all Evans. And I beg your parding, Mem-but I must beg the favour, the aggravatin' things, Mem, with children, Mem, it's a dog in the nussery, Mem.

Mrs. Bulberry (to MRS. BAKER, reproachfully). There-you see, MRS.

BAKER!

Mrs. Baker, Oh!-I'm sure SCAMP adores children.
Evans. That's it, Mem, as I complain of-Mem-

[A sudden shriek from two MISS BULBERRIES and MISS ROSE
TAPPS.

Mrs. Bulberry. What is the matter now?

Miss Rose Tapps. Oh, goodness, gracious-he's eating my Berthe!
Miss Mary Bulberry. And Mamma's Brussells cuffs!

Miss Ellen Bulberry. And your black pelerine, JANE!

Mrs. Bulberry (wildly throwing up the French window, and rushing out). Oh, MRS. BAKER! how could you ever bring such a brute into a

house?

[A wild exit of the whole party on to the lawn, where the subject-matter of the fine-wash was displayed to dry.

[SCAMP is seen wildly rending, tearing, tossing, and mangling cuffs, collerettes, Berthes, pelerines, scarfs, and concludes his performance as the ladies reach the spot, by swallowing MRS. BULBERRY'S five guinea Chantilly fall.

MRS. BAKER (in the manner of the late SIR ISAAC NEWTON to his dog DIAMOND). Oh! SCAMP, SCAMP!

[Scene closes on feelings which defy description.

During the present season of Lent, our friends, the Roman Catholics, UR GRACIOUS QUEEN'S make it a matter of religion to abstain from meat; but what would be Government having signified thought of them if they incited their children to parade the thoroughHER MAJESTY'S willingness to fares in carts, with the symbols of their creed, proclaiming with frantic Rifle-corps, the equipment of gentle vociferations their devotion to red-h: rrings? Let our other friends of men desirous of uniting in defence Exeter Hall perpend this consideration. Of a piece with the decency of their Sovereign and Country, of causing these infants to thrust themselves on public notice by In accordance with the practical clamour, was the taste of making them go through the farce of suggestions of several distin- adopting an address, savouring equally of cant and conceit, to "His guished military officers, and ROYAL HIGHNESS ALBERT EDWARD, PRINCE OF WALES." We cannot provide a great variety of patterns suppose this production could have been composed by any of the children of uniforms, the colours of which, themselves, as there is a fulsome vulgarity of tone about it which assimilating to every conceivable evidently betrays the mature snob. If the Young Hopefuls of Teetoshade of surrounding objects, cause talism had been left to themselves to address the Prince, they might, the wearer to present as indistinct a mark as possible to the enemy's perhaps, have expressed their ideas in some such terms as these:To the PRINCE OF WALES. Please your ROYAL HIGHNESS. We corresponding to the mixed colours take up our pen to write you a few lines to inform you that we have taken of the heath, and the brown mix- the pledge. We have promised to give up brandy and water. We are the mud, samples have been ma- not going to take any more wine, beer, or spirits. If we never drink nufactured of slate-colour and brick- such things we shall never get tipsy. We would advise you never to dust red, calculated for house-top take anything stronger than tea. Drinking does harm. Eating is service amongst the chimney-pots, of bright green with mother-of- quite pleasure enough. We may have plum-cake, and puddings and pearl and gilt buttons intermingled, pies, and hard-bake and lollipops. We must now conclude, with duty to adapted for field-fighting in case of your mamma, and accept the same yourself; and hoping you approve an invasion occurring at the time of the daisies and buttercups; of straw-colour for a harvest or stubble brigade, and the Temperance Band of Hope, and will set an example of the same,. of snowy white, which would be a suitable tint if we were to be attacked simul- and excuse all errors. taneously by the foe and the frost. A splendid pattern has also been made of cloth of Childish language would have been the fittest vehicle for the expresgold and silver, the dazzling effect of which under a glare of sunshine, in the midst of sion of imbecile impertinence. a Turneresque landscape, would be such as utterly to bewilder the aim of the most expert marksman. All these wonderful uniforms, warranted incapable of being hit, besides a regulation rifle guaranteed never to miss, to be had at MESSRS. PUNCH and Co.'s. Army Clothiers, 85, Fleet Street; where every species of Gentlemanlike Dressing is supplied to those requiring a superior article and good cut.

MINISTERIAL ARRANGEMENTS.

THE putting together of the new official bundle of sticks has been a work of considerable difficulty, and the "rumours," during the course of the operation, have been vague and numerous. Some of the reports in circulation, which have not yet appeared in print, are given below upon "our own correspondent's" authority.

Up to a late hour last night COLONEL SIBTHORP had not accepted the Secretaryship of the War department-an appointment which had been much talked about by his own friends and acquaintances. Several reasons have been given for his not having yet joined the Ministry, but we have good ground for believing that the true reason is, he has never been asked to do so.

Considerable sensation was excited by a report, that MR. BRIEFLESS had just received the Great Seal, which proved to be a fact; for he on Wednesday took out of pawn, and received into his own hands, the great seal that formerly hung to the watch of his greatgrandfather.

One of the vacant posts at the Treasury has been accepted by Cribbage-faced BOB, who will henceforth occupy, as crossing-sweeper, the lamp-post opposite the Home Office.

Much embarrassment has been occasioned to the Premier by his uncertainty as to the fittest person to hold the office of Black Rod, there being so many members of the Protectionist party whom the rod would be well bestowed upon.

OR, THE CHILDISH TEETOTAL MOVEMENT.
Grandpapa." BUT FOR SEVENTY YEARS, MY CHILD, I HAVE FOUND
THAT THE MODERATE USE OF THE GOOD THINGS OF THIS LIFE HAS DONE

Young Hopeful Teetotaller. "ALL A MISTAKE, GRANDPA'. TOTAL AB-
LOOK AT ME! I'VE NOT TASTED WINE OR
STINENCE IS THE THING.
BEER FOR YEARS!"

"I'D RATHER BE AN ENGLISHMAN,' ," who writes the noblest letters under that signature in the Times newspaper, than the foolish M.P. who answers him.-Punch.

A VOICE FROM THE LUGGAGE VAN.

SENTIMENT in connection with the shoulder-knot is nothing altogether new, but the pathos of the porter's knot has all the startling interest of complete novelty. One BILL BATES, who has lately retired from a Railway platform, where he has been accustomed to the lugging about of luggage, has taken his farewell in the following touching circular. It is so good, that we cannot resist the temptation to print it entire.

"WILLIAM BATES, in quitting the service of the 'London and South-Western Railway Company,' in whose employment he has now been six years, desires t express to the passengers on that Line (and particularly to those from the Twickenham Station), his gratitude for the urbanity and kindness with which they have ever treated him in the discharge of his duties; and trusts that their approval of his conduct, during the time he has been known to them in his past service, will follow him throughout life-in whatever position he may hereafter occupy.

"TWICKENHAM, February, 1852."

AN M.A., Oxon, who has been in Orders eleven years, and during that
an agricultural district. Sole charge preferred.

time has received Five Public Testimonials of Plate, wishes for a CURACY in

There is something exquisitely affecting in the enlarged sense of
gratitude felt by BATES towards all the passengers on the South-
Western Railway-including, of course, its various branches and loops For a clergyman of such worth in plate as this, we would propose, as
-for the "urbanity and kindness" they have ever shown him in the a parallel to the name of CHRYSOSTOM above mentioned, the title of
discharge of his duties. We do not quite understand how the dis- SILVERMUG. We cannot, however, help thinking that "Five Public
charge of a porter's duties could call forth "urbanity from the public; " Testimonials of Plate" are not quite so obvious a qualification for a
but we presume that he never disencumbered a traveller of his carpet-curacy in an agricultural district, as they are for the situation of
bag without an interchange of those courtesies which give grace to a butler; and it seems that their possessor would be less likely to shine
social intercourse. There is a nice touch of discrimination in the in the Church than in the dinner or tea service.

expression of particular gratitude towards those from the Twickenham Station, whom be seems to regard as the residuary legatees of all the finest feelings of his nature. He, however, proposes to lead the travellers on the line a "pretty dance," when he expresses a hope that they will "follow him throughout life, in whatever position he may hereafter occupy."

Awkward Mistake.
Fortunately not made in a Pantomime.

A CLOWN, designing to enter a Rifle Corps, called on LORD BLANKE, Colonel of the 999th, and saying he understood that his Lordship was a clothing Colonel, begged the noble Lord to measure him for a uniform of invi-ible green.

It is expecting, we fear, too much from the public at large, to hope that ever and anon the question "Where is BILL BATES?" will force itself on the mind, and lead to the searching of him out, that he may be still praised for the achievements of his long-past porter-hood. We are rather surprised that he should have retired so abruptly into private chequer.

THE ASIATIC MYSTERY.-DISRAELI being Chancellor of the Ex