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Eleven at night. Went to bed. Melancholy dreams. Methought Nicolini said he was Mr. Froth.
Monday. Eight o'clock. Waked by Miss Kitty. Aurengzebe lay upon the chair by me. Kitty repeated without book the eight best lines in the play. Went in our mobs to the dumb man, according to appointment. Told me that my lover's name began with a G. Mem. The conjurer was within a letter of Mr. Froth's
Upon looking back into this my journal, I find that I am at a loss to know whether
time well or ill; and indeed, never thought of considering how I did it before I perused your speculation upon that subject. I scarce find a single action in these five days that I can thoroughly approve of, except the working upon the violet-leaf, which I am resolved to finish the first day I am at leisure. As for Mr. Froth and Veny, I did not think they took up so much of my time and thoughts as I find they do upon my journal. The latter of them I will turn off, if you insist upon it; and if Mr. Froth does not bring matters to a conclusion very suddenly, I will not let my life run away in a dream.
- Your humble servant,
To resume one of the morals of
раper, and to confirm Clarinda in her good inclinations, I would have her consider what a pretty figure she would make among posterity, were the history of her whole life published like these
five days of it. I shall conclude my paper with an epitaph, written by an uncertain authors on Sir Philip Sidney's sister, a lady who seems to have been of a temper very much different from that of Clarinda. "The last thought of it is so very noble, that I dare say my reader will pardon me the quotation.
ON THE COUNTESS DOWAGER OF PEMBROKE.
Underneath this marble hearse
Time shall throw a dart at thee.'
No. 324. WEDNESDAY, MARCH 12.
O curvæ in terris animæ, et coelestium inanes! PER.
"The materials you have collected together towards a general history of clubs* makes so bright a part of your speculations. that I think it is but a justice we all owe the learned world to furnish you with such assistance as may promote that useful work. For this reason, I could not for
* This letter is by some supposed to have been written by Swift, who had great apprehensions of being murdered by some of these gentry.
Xi The Outla wni kesi
bear communicating to you some imperfect informations of a set of men (if you will allow them a place in that species of being) who have lately erected themselves into a nocturnal fraternity, under the title of the Mohock club, a name borrowed, it seems, from a sort of cannibals in India, who subsist by plundering and devouring all the nations about them. The president is styled Emperor of the Mohocks, * and his arms are a Turkish crescent, which his imperial majesty bears at present in a very extraordinary manner engraven upon his forehead. Agreeable to their name, the avowed design of their institution is mischief, and upon this foundation all their rules and orders are framed. An outrageous ambition of doing all possible hurt to their fellow-creatures is the great cement of their assembly, and the only qualification required in the members. In order to exert this principle in its full strength and perfection, they take care to drink themselves to a pitch that is beyond the possibility of attending to any motions of reason or humanity; then make a general sally, and attack all that are so unfortunate as to walk the streets through which they patrole. Some are knocked down, others stabbed, others cut and carbonadoed. Tó put the watch to total rout, and mortify some of those inoffensive militia, is reckoned a coup d' éclat. The particular talents by which these misanthropes are distinguished from one another, consist in the various kinds of barbarities which they execute upon their prisoners. Some are
* The title of one of the four Indian kings who visited England.
celebrated for a happy dexterity in tipping the lion upon them; which is performed by squeezing the nose flat to the face, and boring out the eyes with their fingers: others are called the dancing masters, and teach their scholars to cut capers, by running swords through their legs; a
new invention, whether originally French I caní not tell: a third sort are the tumblers, whose of
fice it is to set women on their heads, and commit certain indecencies, or rather barbarities, on the limbs which they expose; but these I forbear to mention, because they can not but be very shocking to the reader as well as the Spectator. In this manner they carry on a war against mankind; and by the standing maxims of their policy; are to enter into no alliances but one, and that is offensive and defensive with all bawdy houses in general, of which they have declared themselves protectors and guarantees.
• I must own, sir, these are only broken incoherent memoirs of this wonderful society, but they are the best I have been yet able to procure; for being but of late established, it it not ripe for a just history; and, to be serious, the chief design of this trouble is to hinder it from ever being so. You have been pleased, out of a concern for the good of your countrymen, to act, under the character of Spectator, not only the part of a lookeron, but an overseer of their actions; and whenever such enormities as this infest the town, we immediately fly to you for redress. I have reason to believe, that some thoughtless youngsters, out of a false notion of bravery, and an immoderate fondness to be distinguished for fellows of fire, are insensibly hurried into this senseless,
scandalous project. Such will probably stand corrected by your reproofs, especially if you inform them, that it is not courage for half a score of fellows, mad with wine and lust, to set upon two or three soberer than themselves; and that the manners of Indian savages are not becoming accomplishments to an English fine gentleman. Such of them as have been bullies and scourers of a long standing, and are grown veterans in this kind of service, are, I fear, too hardened to receive any impressions from your admonitions. But I beg you would recommend to their perusal your ninth speculation; they may there be taught to take warning from the club of duellists; and be put in mind, that the common fate of those men of honour was to be hanged.
• I am, sir, your most humble servant, March 10th, 1712. PHILANTHROPOS.'
The following letter is of quite a contrary nature; but I add it here, that the reader may observe, at the same view, how amiable ignorance may be when it is shown in its simplicities, and how detestable in barbarities. It is written by an honest countryman to his mistress, and came to the hands of a lady of good sense, wrapped about a thread-paper, who has long kept it by her as an image of artless love. • To her I very much respect, Mrs. Margaret Clark.
Lovely, and oh! that I could write loving Mrs. Margaret Clark, I pray you let affection excuse presumption. Having been so happy as to enjoy the sight of your sweet countenance and comely body, sometimes when I had occasion to