THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR DRAMATIS PERSONÆ. SIR JOHN FALSTAFF. ROBIN, Page to Falstaff. FENTON, a young Gentleman. SIMPLE, Servant to Slender, RUGBY, Servant to Doctor Caius. MISTRESS FORD, MISTRESS PAGE. WILLIAM PAGE, a Boy, Son to Page. ANNE PAGE, her Daughter, in love with SR HUGH EVANS, a Welsh Parson. Fenton. DOCTOR CAIUS, a French Physician. MISTRESS QUICKLY, Servant to Doctor Caius. Servants to Page, Ford, &c. 4 41 ACT I. If Sir John Falstaff have committed disparage ments unto you, I am of the Church, and will be SCENE I.-Windsor. Before PAGE's House. glad to do my benevolence to make atonements and compremises between you. 34 Enda JUSTICE SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR Shal. The Council shall hear it; it is a riot. Hugu EVANS. Eva. It is not meet the Council hear a riot; Shal. Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will there is no fear of Got in a riot. The Council , make a Star-chamber matter of it; if he were look you,shall desire to hear the fear of Got,and twenty Sir John Falstaffs he shall not abuse not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that. Robert Shallow, esquire. Shal. Hal o' my life, if I were young again, Slen. In the county of Gloster, justice of the sword should end it. peace, and coram. Eva. It is petter that friends is the sword, Shal. Ay, cousin Slender, and cust-alorum. and end it; and there is also another device in Slen. Ay, and rato-lorum too; and a gentle my prain, which, peradventure, prings goot disLan born, Master Parson; who writes himself cretions with it. There is Anne Page, which is armigero, in any bill, warrant, quittance, or daughter to Master Thomas Page, which is pretty cbligation,-armigero. 11 virginity. Shal. Ay, that I do; and have done any time Slen. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown these three hundred years. hair, and speaks small like a woman. 49 Slen. All his successors gone before him hath Eva. It is that fery person for all the orld, as done't; and all his ancestors that come after him just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds may: they may give the dozen · white luces in of moneys, and gold and silver, is her grandsire, their coat. 17 | upon his death's-bed, -Got deliver to a joyful Shal. It is an old coat. resurrectionsl-give, when she is able to overtake Eva. The dozen white louses do become an seventeen years old. It were a goot motion if ch coat well; it agrees well, passant; it is a we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a tamiliar beast to man, and signifies love. 21 marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Shal. The luce is the fresh fish; the salt -fish Anne Page. 3 an old coat. Shal. Did her grandsire leave her seven hunSlen. I may quarter, coz? 24 dred pound? 60 Shal. You may, by marrying. Eva. Ay, and her father is make her a petter Era. It is marring indeed, if he quarter it. penny. Shal. Not a whit. Shal. I know the young gentlewoman; she Era. Yes, py'r lady; if he has a quarter of has good gifts. 64 our coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, Eva. Seven hundred pounds and possibilities E my simple conjectures: but that is all one. is goot gifts. I 20 me? Shal. Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Fal. I will answer it straight: I have done Falstaff there? 68 all this. That is now answered. Eva. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a Shal. The Council shall know this. liar as I do despise one that is false; or as I Fal. 'Twere better for you if it were known despise one that is not true. The knight, Sir in counsel: you 'll be laughed at. John, is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by Eva. Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts. 124 your well-willers. I will peat the door for Master Fal. Good worts! good cabbage. Slender, I Page. [Knocks.] What, hoal Got pless your broke your head: what matter have you against house here! Page. [Within ] Who's there? 76 Slen. Marry, sir, I have matter in my head Eva. Here is Got's plessing, and your friend. against you; and against your cony-catching and Justice Shallow; and here young Master rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. They carSlender, that peradventures shall tell you an- ried me to the tavern, and made me drunk, and other tale, if matters grow to your likings. 80 afterwards picked my pocket. 132 Slen. Ay, it is no matter. 136 Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you: Nym. Slice, I say! pauca, pauca; slice! much good do it your good heart! I wished your that's my humour. venison better; it was ill killed. How doth good Slen. Where's Simple, my man? can you tell, Mistress Page?--and I thank you always with cousin? 140 my heart, lal with my heart. Eva. Peace, I pray you. Now let us underPage. Sir, I thank you. 88 stand: there is three umpires in this matter, as Shal. Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do. I understand; that is—Master Page, fidelicet, Page. I am glad to see you, good Master Master Page; and there is myself, fidelicet, mySlender. self; and the three party is, lastly and finally, Slen. How does your fallow greyhound, sir? mine host of the Garter. I heard say he was outrun on Cotsall. 93 Page. We three, to hear it and end it between Page. It could not be judged, sir. them. 148 Slen. You'll not confess, you'll not confess. Eva. Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in Shal. That he will not: 'tis your fault, 'tis my note-book; and we will afterwards ork upon your fault. 'Tis a good dog. 97 the cause with as great discreetly as we can. Page. A cur, sir. Fal. Pistol! 152 Shal. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog; Pist. He hears with ears. can there be more said? he is good and fair. Eva. The tevil and his taml what phrase is Is Sir John Falstaff here? 101 this, 'He hears with ear?' Why, it is affectations. Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could Fal. Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's do a good office between you. purse? 157 Eva. It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak. Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he,—or I would Shal. He hath wronged me, Master Page. 105 I might never come in mine own great chamber Page. Sir, he doth in some sort confess it. again else, -of seven groats in mill-sixpences, Shal. If it be confessed, it is not redressed: and two Edward shovel-boards, that cost me two is not that so, Master Page? He hath wronged shilling and two pence a-piece of Yead Miller, by me; indeed, he hath;-at a word, he hath,-be- these gloves. lieve me: Robert Shallow, esquire, saith, he is Fal. Is this true, Pistol? 164 wronged. Eva. No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse. Page. Here comes Sir John. Pist. Ha, thou mountain foreigner!—Sir John and master mine, Enter SIR John FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, I combat challenge of this latten bilbo. and PISTOL. Word of denial in thy labras here! Fal. Now, Master Shallow, you'll complain Word of denial: froth and scum, thou liest. of me to the king? Slen. By these gloves, then, 'twas he. Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, killed Nym. Be avised, sir, and pass good humours. my deer, and broke open my lodge. 116 I will say, 'marry trap,' with you, if you run the Fal. But not kissed your keeper's daughter? nuthook's humour on me: that is the very note Shal. Tut, a pin! this shall be answered. of it. 174 112 163 228 233 239 191 194 243 200 Slen. By this bat, then, he in the red face had Slen. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow it; for though I cannot remember what I did says. I pray you pardon me; he's a justice of when you made me drunk, yet I am not altoge peace in his country, simple though I stand here. ther an ass. 178 Eva. But that is not the question; the quesFal. What say you, Scarlet and John? tion is concerning your marriage. Bard. Why, sir, for my part, I say, the gentle- Shal. Ay, there's the point, sir. man had drunk himself out of his five sentences. Eva. Marry, is it, the very point of it; to Eva. It is his 'five senses;' fie, what the igno- Mistress Anne Page. tance is! 183 Slen. Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon Bard. And being fap, sir, was, as they say, any reasonable demands. cashier'd; and so conclusions pass'd the careires. Eva. But can you affection the 'oman? Let Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but us command to know that of your mouth or 'tis no matter. I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live of your lips; for divers philosophers hold that Again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for the lips is parcel of the mouth: therefore, this trick: if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those precisely, can you carry your good will to the that have the fear of God, and not with drunken maid? knaves. Shal. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love Eva. So Got udge me, that is a virtuous mind. her? Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gen- Slen. I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become demen; you hear it. one that would do reason. Eva. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies! you Enter ANNE PAGE, with Wine; MISTRESS FORD must speak possitable, if you can carry her your and MISTRESS PAGE. desires towards her. Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll Shal. That you must. Will you, upon good drink within. (Exit ANNE PAGE. dowry, marry her? 248 Slen. O heaven! this is Mistress Anne Page. Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon Page. How now, Mistress Ford! your request, cousin, in any reason. Fal. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet well met: by your leave, good mistress. coz: what I do, is to pleasure you, coz. Can you [Kissing her. love the maid? Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Slen. I will marry her, sir, at your request; Come, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner: but if there be no great love in the beginning, cotce, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all yet heaven may decrease it upon better acunkindness. 204 quaintance, when we are married and have more [Exeunt all but SHALLOW, SLENDER, occasion to know one another: I hope, upon and EVANS. familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you Slen. I had rather than forty shillings I had say, 'Marry her,' I will marry her; that I am zy Book of Songs and Sonnets here. freely dissolved, and dissolutely. Eva. It is a fery discretion answer; save, the Enter SIMPLE. faul is in the ort dissolutely:' the ort is, acHow ROW, Simple! Where have you been? I cording to our meaning, ‘resolutely.' His meanmost wait on myself, must I? You have not the ing is goot. Book of Riddles about you, have you? Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well. Sim. Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend Slen. Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, ito Alice Shortcake upon All-Hallowmas last, a la! fortnight afore Michaelmas? Shal. Here comes fair Mistress Anne. Re-enter ANNE PAGE. 29 twere a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off ty Sir Hugh bere: do you understand me? 216 Would I were young for your sake, Mistress Sien. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable: if Anne. be so, I shall do that that is reason. Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father Shal. Nay, but understand me. desires your worships' company. Slen. So I do, sir. Shal. I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne. Eva. Give ear to his motions, Master Slender: Eva. Od's plessed will! I will not be absence I will description the matter to you, if you pe at the grace. apacity of it. [Exeunt SHALLOW and EVANS, 253 261 209 268 212 273 220 276 280 13 294 5 Anne. Will't please your worship to come SCENE I.-The Same. in, sir? Slen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE. am very well. Eva. Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' Anne. The dinner attends you, sir. house, which is the way: and there dwells one Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you for- Mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of his sooth. Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go nurse, or his try nurse, or his cook, or his launwait upon my cousin Shallow. [Exit SIMPLE.) A dry, his washer, and his wringer. 5 justice of peace sometime may be beholding to Sim. Well, sir. his friend for a man. I keep but three men and Eva. Nay, it is petter yet. Give her this leta boy yet, till my mother be dead; but what ter; for it is a 'oman that altogether's acthough? yet I live like a poor gentleman quaintance with Mistress Anne Page: and the born. 289 letter is, to desire and require her to solicit your Anne. I may not go in without your worship: master's desires to Mistress Anne Page. I pray they will not sit till you come. you, be gone: I will make an end of my Slen. I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you dinner; there's pippins and seese to come. as much as though I did. [Exeunt. Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in. Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you. I SCENE III.- A Room in the Garter Inn. bruised my shin th' other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence; three Enter FALSTAFF, Host, BARDOLPH, NYM, PISTOL, veneys for a dish of stewed prunes;--and, by my and ROBIN. troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat Fal. Mine host of the Garter! since. Why do your dogs bark so? be there Host. What says my bully-rook? Speak schobears i' the town? 301 | larly and wisely. Anne. I think there are, sir; I heard them Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away talked of. some of my followers. Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let soon quarrel at it as any man in England. them wag; trot, trot. You are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are Fal I sit at ten pounds a week. Host. Thou’rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and Anne. Ay, indeed, sir. 308 Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall Slen. That's meat and drink to me, now: I draw, he shall tap: said I well, bully Hector? have seen Sackerson loc se twenty times, and Fal. Do so, good mine host. have taken him by the chain; but, I warrant Host. I have spoke; let him follow. [ToBARD.] you, the women have so cried and shrieked at Let me see thee froth and lime: I am at a word; it, that it passed: but women, indeed, cannot follow. [Exit. abide 'em; they are very ill-favoured rough Fal. Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a things. 315 good trade: an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered serving.man, a fresh tapster. Go; adieu. Bard. It is a life that I have desired. I will Re-enter PAGE. thrive. Page. Come, gentle Master Slender, come; Pist. O base Hungarian wight! wilt thou the we stay for you. spigot wield? [Exit BARD. Slen. I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir. Nym. He was gotten in drink; is not the Page. By cock and pie, you shall not choose, humour conceited? sir! come, come. 320 Fal. I am glad I am so acquit of this tinderSlen. Nay, pray you, lead the way. box; bis thefts were too open; his filching was Page. Come on, sir. like an unskilful singer; he kept not time. Slen. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first. Nym. The good humour is to steal at a Anne. Not I, sir; pray you, keep on. 324 minim's rest. Slen. Truly, will not go first: truly, lal I Pist. “Convey,' the wise it call. 'Steal!' fohl will not do you that wrong. a fico for the phrase! Anne. I pray you, sir. Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels. Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly than trouble- Pist Why, then, let kibes ensue. some. You do yourself wrong, indeed, la! 329 Fal. There is no remedy; I must cony[Exeunt. I catch, I must shift. 8 you not? 12 20 24 29 32 92 51 55 IIO Pist. Young ravens must have food. 36 Falstaff will learn the humour of this age, Pist. I ken the wight: he is of substance page. [Exeunt FALSTAFF and ROBIN. good. Pist. Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd Fal. My honest lads, I will tell you what I and fullam holds, am about. 41 And high and low beguile the rich and poor. Pist. Two yards, and more. Tester I'll have in pouch when thou shalt lack, Fal. No quips now, Pistol! Indeed, I am in Base Phrygian Turk! the waist two yards about; but I am now about Nym. I have operations in my head, which 90 Faste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean be humours of revenge. 97 to make love to Ford's wife: I spy entertainment Pist. Wilt thou revenge? in her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the Nym. By welkin and her star! leer of invitation: I can construe the action of Pist. With wit or steel? her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her Nym. With both the humours, I: behaviour, to be Englished rightly, is, 'I am Sir I will discuss the humour of this love to Page. John Falstaff's.' Pist. And I to Ford shall eke unfold Pist. He bath studied her well, and translated How Falstaff, varlet vile, 104 ber well, out of honesty into English. His dove will prove, his gold will hold, Vym. The anchor is deep: will that humour And his soft couch defile. p933? Nym. My humour shall not cool: I will Fal. Now, the report goes she has all the rule incense Page to deal with poison; I will possess of her husband's purse; he hath a legion of him with yellowness, for the revolt of mine is angels. dangerous: that is my true humour. Pist. As many devils entertain, and 'To her, Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents: I boy,' say I. 60 second thee; troop on. [Exeunt. Aym. The humour rises; it is good: humour me the angels. SCENE IV.-A Room in DOCTOR CAIUS's Honse. Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her; and bere another to Page's wife, who even now gave Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY and SIMPLE. me good eyes too, examiped my parts with most Quick. What, John Rugbyljudicious cilliades: sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly. Enter RUGBY. Pist. Then did the sun on dunghill shine. 68 I pray thee, go to the cagement, and see if you Nvm. I thank thee for that humour. can see my master, Master Doctor Caius, comFal O! she did so course o'er my exteriors ing: if he do, i' faith, and find anybody in the sith such a greedy intention, that the appetite house, here will be an old abusing of God's of ber eye did seem to scorch me up like a burn-patience and the king's English. ing glass. Here's another letter to her: she Rug. I'll go watch. bears the purse too; she is a region in Guiana, Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon ali gold and bounty. I will be 'cheator to them at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal both, and they shall be exchequers to me: they fire. [Exit Rugby.) An honest, willing, kind shall be my East and West Indies, and I will fellow, as ever servant shall come in house rade to them both. Go bear thou this letter to withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale, nor Mistress Page; and thou this to Mistress Ford. no breed-bate: his worst fault is, that he is We will thrive, lads, we will thrive. 80 given to prayer; he is something peevish that Pist. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become, way, but nobody but has his fault; but let that And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer pass. Peter Simple you say your name is ? take all! Sim. Ay, for fault of a better. Nym. I will run no base humour: bere, take Quick. And Master Slender's your master? the humour-letter. I will keep the haviour of Sim. Ay, forsooth. reputation. 85 Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard Fol. To Robix.) Hold, sirrah, bear you these like a glover's paring-knife? letters tightly: Sim. No, forsooth: he hath but a little whey. Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores. face, with a little yellow beard--a cane-colcured Eoques, hencel avauntl vanish like hailstones, beard. 24 go; Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not? Irudge, plod awayo'the hoof; seek shelter,pack! Sim. Ay, forsooth; but he is as tall a man of 6 16 21 a |