321 Launce. Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can spin for her living. Speed. Item, She hath many nameless virtues. Launce. That's as much as to say, bastard virtues; that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore have no names. Speed. Here follow her vices. Launce. Close at the heels of her virtues. 328 Speed. Item, She is not to be kissed fasting, in respect of her breath. Launce. Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast. Read on. 332 Speed. Item, She hath a sweet mouth. Launce. That makes amends for her sour breath. Speed. Item, She doth talk in her sleep. 336 Launce. It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk. Speed. Item, She is slow in words. Launce. O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words is a woman's only virtue: I pray thee, out with't, and place it for her chief virtue. Speed. Item, She is proud. 344 Launce. Out with that too: it was Eve's legacy, and cannot be ta'en from her. Speed. Item, She hath no teeth. Launce. I care not for that neither, because I love crusts. 349 Speed. Item, She is curst. Launce. Well; the best is, she hath no teeth to bite. 352 Launce. Of her tongue she cannot, for that's writ down she is slow of: of her purse she shall not, for that I'll keep shut: now, of another thing she may, and that cannot I help. Well, proceed. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults. 365 Launce. Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article. Rehearse that once more. 368 Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit. Launce. More hair than wit it may be; I'll prove it: the cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair, that covers the wit is more than the wit, for the greater hides the less. What's next? Speed. And more faults than hairs.— 376 Launce. That's monstrous! O, that that were out! Speed. And more wealth than faults. Launce. Why, that word makes the faults gracious. Well, I'll have her; and if it be a match, as nothing is impossible, Speed. What then? Duke. And also, I think, thou art not ignorant How she opposes her against my will. Pro. She did, my lord, when Valentine was here. Duke. Ay, and perversely she persevers so. 28 What might we do to make the girl forget The love of Valentine, and love Sir Thurio? Pro. The best way is to slander Valentine With falsehood, cowardice, and poor descent, Three things that women highly hold in hate. Duke. Ay, but she'll think that it is spoke in hate. Pro. Ay, if his enemy deliver it: Therefore it must with circumstance be spoken By one whom she esteemeth as his friend. 37 60 And cannot soon revolt and change your mind. But you, Sir Thurio, are not sharp enough; Much is the force of heaven-bred poesy. 68 72 Pro. Say that upon the altar of her beauty You sacrifice your tears, your sighs, your heart. Write till your ink be dry, and with your tears Moist it again, and frame some feeling line 76 That may discover such integrity: For Orpheus' lute was strung with poets' sinews, Whose golden touch could soften steel and stones, Make tigers tame and huge leviathans Forsake unsounded deeps to dance on sands. After your dire lamenting elegies, Visit by night your lady's chamber-window With some sweet consort: to their instruments Tune a deploring dump; the night's dead silence Will well become such sweet-complaining griev ance. This, or else nothing, will inherit her. 80 Duke. This discipline shows thou hast been in love. 88 Thu. And thy advice this night I'll put in practice. Therefore, sweet Proteus, my direction-giver, To sort some gentlemen well skill'd in music. 92 Pro. We'll wait upon your grace till after And afterward determine our proceedings. Duke. Even now about it! I will pardon you. [Exeunt. ACT IV. SCENE I.-A Forest between Milan and Verona. Enter certain Outlaws. First Out. Fellows, stand fast; I see a pas senger. Sec. Out. If there be ten, shrink not, but down with 'em. Enter VALENTINE and SPEED. Myself was from Verona banished 48 Third Out. Stand, sir, and throw us that you For practising to steal away a lady, have about ye; If not, we'll make you sit and rifle you. 4 Speed. Sir, we are undone: these are the Who, in my mood, I stabb'd unto the heart. villains First Out. Why, ne'er repent it, if it were done so. But were you banish'd for so small a fault? First Out. And I for such like petty crimes as these. 52 But to the purpose; for we cite our faults, Scc. Out. Indeed, because you are a banish'd Therefore, above the rest, we parley to you. 60 To make a virtue of necessity And live, as we do, in this wilderness? Third Out. What say'st thou? wilt thou be of our consort? 64 Val. I was, and held me glad of such a doom. SCENE II.—Milan. The Court of the DUKE'S Sec. Out. Have you the tongues? 33 Val. My youthful travel therein made me happy, Or else I often had been miserable. Third Out. By the bare scalp of Robin Hood's This fellow were a king for our wild faction! It is an honourable kind of thievery. 36 Palace. Enter PROTEUS. Pro. Already have I been false to Valentine, 40 When I protest true loyalty to her, She twits me with my falsehood to my friend; & Sec. Out. Tell us this: have you anything to When to her beauty I commend my vows, take to? Val. Nothing, but my fortune. Third Out. Know then, that some of us are Such as the fury of ungovern'd youth 44 She bids me think how I have been forsworn Thu. I thank you for your own. Now, gentlemen, Let's tune, and to it lustily a while. Enter Host and JULIA behind. JULIA in boy's clothes. Host. Now, my young guest, methinks you're allycholly: I pray you, why is it? 28 Jul. Marry, mine host, because I cannot be merry. Host. Come, we'll have you merry. I'll bring you where you shall hear music and see the gentleman that you asked for. Jul. But shall I hear him speak? Jul. That will be music. Host. Hark! hark! Jul. Is he among these? 33 72 Jul. I would always have one play but one But, host, doth this Sir Proteus that we talk on Host. I will tell you what Launce, his man, 77 Host. Gone to seek his dog; which, to-morrow, by his master's command, he must carry for a present to his lady. 81 Jul. Peace! stand aside: the company parts. Pro. At Saint Gregory's well. [Exeunt THURIO and Musicians. Enter SILVIA above, at her window. [Music plays. Who is that that spake? Host. Ay; but peace! let's hear 'em. SONG. Who is Silvia? what is she? 40 44 Pro. Sil. You have your wish; my will is even this: That I may compass yours. 97 She excels each mortal thing 52 Upon the dull earth dwelling; Host. How now! are you sadder than you were before? How do you, man? the music likes you not. 100 104 That hast deceiv'd so many with thy vows? 57 Jul. You mistake; the musician likes me not. Host. How? out of tune on the strings? Jul. Not so; but yet so false that he grieves my very heart-strings. Host. You have a quick ear. Jul. [Aside.] 'Twere false, if I should speak it; For I am sure she is not buried. Sil. Say that she be; yet Valentine thy friend 64 Survives; to whom, thyself art witness 112 I am betroth'd: and art thou not asham'd Pro. I likewise hear that Valentine is dead. Sil. And so suppose am I; for in his grave, Assure thyself my love is buried. 117 Pro. Sweet lady, let me rake it from the earth. Sil. Go to thy lady's grave and call hers thence; Or, at the least, in hers sepulchre thine. 120 Jul. [Aside.] He heard not that. Pro. Madam, if your heart be so obdurate, Vouchsafe me yet your picture for my love, The picture that is hanging in your chamber: To that I'll speak, to that I'll sigh and weep; For since the substance of your perfect self Is else devoted, I am but a shadow, And to your shadow will I make true love. 128 Jul. [Aside.] If 'twere a substance, you would, sure, deceive it, And make it but a shadow, as I am. Sil. I am very loath to be your idol, sir; But, since your falsehood shall become you well To worship shadows and adore false shapes, 133 Send to me in the morning and I'll send it." And so, good rest. Pro. As wretches have o'er night That wait for execution in the morn. 136 [Exeunt PROTEUS, and SILVIA, above. Jul. Host, will you go? Host. By my halidom, I was fast asleep. Jul. Pray you, where lies Sir Proteus? Host. Marry, at my house. Trust me, I think 'tia almost day. 141 Jul. Not so; but it hath been the longest night That e'er I watch'd and the most heaviest. SCENE III.-The Same. Enter EGLAMOUR. [Exeunt. Egl. This is the hour that Madam Silvia Entreated me to call, and know her mind: There's some great matter she'd employ me in. Madam, Madam! Sil. Enter SILVIA above, at her window. Egl. Your servant, and your friend; 4 20 I bear unto the banish'd Valentine, I do desire thee, even from a heart 24 28 32 36 Egl. Madam, I pity much your grievances; Which since I know they virtuously are plac'd, I give consent to go along with you, Recking as little what betideth me As much I wish all good befortune you. When will you go? 40 Sil. At Friar Patrick's cell, 44 Sil. Good morrow, kind Sir Eglamour. SCENE IV.-The Same. Enter LAUNCE with his dog. Launce. When a man's servant shall play the cur with him, look you, it goes hard; one that I brought up of a puppy; one that I saved from drowning, when three or four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it. I have taught him, even as one would say precisely, ‘Thus would I teach a dog.' I was sent to deliver him as a present to Mistress Silvia from my master, and I came no sooner into the dining-chamber but he steps me to her trencher and steals her 8 capon's leg. O! 'tis a foul thing when a cur cannot keep himself in all companies. I would have, as one should say, one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be, as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had more wit than he, to take a fault upon me that he did, I think verily he had been hanged for't: sure as I live, 12 |