This do, and do it kindly, gentle sirs; 1 Hun. My lord, I warrant you, we will play our part, As he shall think, by our true diligence, He is no less than what we say he is. Lord. Take him up gently, and to bed with him, And each one to his office when he wakes. [SLY is borne out. A trumpet sounds. Sirrah, go see what trumpet 't is that sounds: [Exit Servant. Belike, some noble gentleman, that means, How now? who is 't?1 Serv. An 't please your honour, players That offer humble service to your lordship. Enter five or six Players.* Now, fellows, you are welcome. Players. We thank your honour. Lord. Do you intend to stay with me to-night? 2 Play. So please your lordship to accept our duty. Lord. With all my heart.-This fellow I remember, Since once he play'd a farmer's eldest son: 'T was where you woo'd the gentlewoman so well. I have forgot your name; but, sure, that part Was aptly fitted, and naturally perform'd. 1 Play. I think, 't was Soto that your honour means. Lord. 'T is very true: thou didst it excellent. Well, you are come to me in happy time, 1 Play. Fear not, my lord: we can contain ourselves, Were he the veriest antic in the world. 1 is it: in f. e. 2 An it in f. e. 3 Not in f. e. 4 Enter Players: in f. e. Lord. Go, sirrah, take them to the buttery, And give them friendly welcome every one: Let them want nothing that my house affords.— [Exeunt Servant and Players. Sirrah, go you to Bartholomew, my page, [To a Servant. And see him dress'd in all suits like a lady: That done, conduct him to the drunkard's chamber; See this despatch'd with all the haste thou canst : Voice, gait, and action of a gentlewoman: I long to hear him call the drunkard husband, And how my men will stay themselves from laughter, Which otherwise would grow into extremes. [Exeunt. SCENE II-A Bedchamber in the Lord's House. SLY is discovered, with Attendants; some with apparel, others with bason, ewer, and appurtenances. LORD, dressed like a Servant. Sly. For God's sake, a pot of small ale. Enter 1 Serv. Will 't please your lordship drink a cup of sack? 2 Serv. Will 't please your honour taste of these conserves? 3 Serv. What raiment will your honour wear to-day? Sly. I am Christophero Sly; call not me honour, nor lordship: I ne'er drank sack in my life; and if you give me any conserves, give me conserves of beef. Ne'er ask me what raiment I'll wear, for I have no more doublets than backs, no more stockings than legs, nor no more shoes than feet; nay, sometime, more feet than shoes, or such shoes as my toes look through the overleather. [honour! Lord. Heaven cease this evil' humour in your O! that a mighty man, of such descent, Of such possessions, and so high esteem, Should be infused with so foul a spirit! Sly. What would you make me mad? Am not I Christophero Sly, old Sly's son, of Burton-heath ;' by birth a pedlar, by education a card-maker, by transmutation a bear-herd, and now by present profession a tinker? Ask Marian Hacket, the fat alewife of Wincot, if she know me not: if she say I am not fourteen pence on the score for Warwickshire1 ale, score me up for the lying'st knave in Christendom. What! I am 3 not bestraughts. Here's 1 Serv. O! this it is that makes your lady mourn. 3 Serv. O! this it is that makes your servants droop. Lord. Hence comes it that your kindred shun your house, As beaten hence by your strange lunacy. O, noble lord! bethink thee of thy birth; Call home thy ancient thoughts from banishment, And banish hence these abject lowly dreams. Look how thy servants do attend on thee, Each in his office ready at thy beck: Wilt thou have music? hark! Apollo plays, [Music. And twenty caged nightingales do sing: Or wilt thou sleep? we'll have thee to a couch, On purpose trimm'd up for Semiramis. 1 idle in f. e. 2 Barton-on-the-Heath, a village in Warwickshire, is supposed to be alluded to. 3 A place about four miles from Stratford. 4 sheer in f. e. 5 Distraught, distracted. Say thou wilt walk, we will bestrew the ground: 1 Serv. Say thou wilt course, thy greyhounds are as swift As breathed stags, ay, fleeter than the roe. 2 Serv. Dost thou love pictures? we will fetch thee straight Adonis painted by a running brook, And Cytherea all in hedges hid, Which seem to move and wanton with her breath, Lord. We'll show thee Io as she was a maid As lively painted as the deed was done. 3 Serv. Or Daphne roaming through a thorny wood, Scratching her legs, that one shall swear she bleeds; And at that sight shall sad Apollo weep, So workmanly the blood and tears are drawn. Thou hast a lady, far more beautiful Than any woman in this waning age. 1 Serv. And, till the tears that she hath shed for thee, Sly. Am I a lord? and have I such a lady? I smell sweet savours, and I feel soft things.— And not a tinker, nor Christophero Sly.- 2 Serv. Will 't please your mightiness to wash your hands? [Servants present an ewer, bason, and napkin. O, how we joy to see your wits restor❜d! O, that once more, you knew but what you are! Or, when you wak'd, so wak'd as if you slept. 1 Serv. O! yes, my lord, but very idle words; And say you would present her at the leet,1 Because she brought stone jugs, and not seal'd' quarts. Sometimes you would call out for Cicely Hacket. Sly. Ay, the woman's maid of the house. [maid, 3 Serv. Why, sir, you know no house, nor no such Nor no such men, as you have reckon'd up, As Stephen Sly, and old John Naps of Greece, And twenty more such names and men as these, Sly. Now, Lord be thanked for my good amends! Sly. I thank thee; thou shalt not lose by it. Sly. Marry, I fare well; for here is cheer enough. Where is my wife? Page. Here, noble lord: what is thy will with her? Sly. Are you my wife, and will not call me husband? My men should call me lord: I am your good-man. Page. My husband and my lord, my lord and husband; I am your wife in all obedience. Sly. I know it well. What must I call her? Sly. Al'ce madam, or Joan madam? Lord. Madam, and nothing else: so lords call ladies. And slept about some fifteen year and more. Sly. 'Tis much.-Servants, leave me and her alone.- 1 Court leet. 2 Sealed or stamped as full quart measure. in f. e. 3 above: |