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Fit for the mountains, and the barbarous caves, Where manners ne'er were preach'd. Out of my sight!

Be not offended, dear Cesario.

Rudesby, be gone!-I pr'ythee, gentle friend,

[Exeunt Sir TOBY, Sir ANDREW, and FABIAN. Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway In this uncivil, and unjust extent

Against thy peace.

Go with me to my house;

And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks

This ruffian hath botch'd up, that thou thereby May'st smile at this. Thou shalt not choose but go: Do not deny. Beshrew his soul for me,

He started one poor heart of mine in thee.

Seb. What relish is in this? how runs the stream?

Or I am mad. or else this is a dream.

Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep;

If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep.
Oli. Nay, come, I pr'ythee.

rul'd by me!

Seb. Madam, I will.


Would thou 'dst be

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SCENE II.-A Room in OLIVIA'S House.

Enter MARIA and Clown.

Mar. Nay, I pr'ythee, put on this gown, and this beard make him believe thou art sir Topas, the curate do it quickly; I'll call sir Toby the whilst.

[Exit MARIA.

Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in 't and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown. [Putting it on.'] I am not tall enough to become the function well, nor lean enough to be thought a good student; but to be said an honest man, and a good housekeeper, goes as fairly as to say a careful man, and a great scholar. The competitors enter.


Sir To. Jove bless thee, master parson.

Clo. Bonos dies, sir Toby: for as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of king Gorboduc, "That, that is, is ;" so I, 1 Not in f. e. 2 Lusty, stout. Confederates.



being master parson, am master parson,—for what is that, but that ? and is, but is ?

Sir To. To him, sir Topas.
Clo. What, ho!' I say.—Peace in this prison.

Opening a door. Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good knave.

Mal. [Within.] Who calls there?

Clo. Sir Topas, the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatic.

Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, good sir Topas, go to my lady. Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend ! how vexest thou this

Talkest thou nothing but of ladies ? Sir To. Well said, master parson.

Mal. Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged.Good sir Topas, do not think I am mad : they have laid me here in hideous darkness.

Clo. Fie, thou dishonest Sathan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with courtesy. Say'st thou that house is dark ?

Mal. As hell, sir Topas.

Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stories’ towards the south-north are lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction ?

Mal. I am not mad, sir Topas. I say to you, this house is dark.

Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say there is no darkness but ignorance, in which thou art more puzzled than the Egyptians in their fog.

Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abused. I am no more mad than you are; make the trial of it in any constant question.

Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild-fowl ?

Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird.

Clo. What thinkest thou of his opinion ? Not in f. e. 2 The clere-story of a church, is the upper wall above the aisles, having generally a row of windows.

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Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve

his opinion.

Clo. Fare thee well remain thou still in darkness. Thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits, and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well. [Closing the door.1

Mal. Sir Topas! sir Topas !

Sir To. My most exquisite sir Topas.
Clo. Nay, I am for all waters.

Mar. Thou mightst have done this without thy beard, and gown: he sees thee not.

Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him; I would, we were all well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were ; for I am now so far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber. [Exeunt Sir TOBY and MARIA. Clo. "Hey Robin, jolly Robin, Tell me how thy lady does."

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Clo. Alas, why is she so ?"


Mal. Fool, I say.

Clo. "She loves another"-Who calls, ha?

[Opening the door.3 Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper. As I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for 't.

Clo. Master Malvolio!
Mal. Ay, good fool.

Clo. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits? Mal. Fool, there was never man so notoriously abused; I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art.

Clo. But as well? then you are mad, indeed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool.

Mal. They have here propertied* me, keep me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses! and do all they can to face me out of my wits.

1 Not in f. e. 2 This ballad may be found in Percy's Reliques. Notin f. e. 4 Taken possession of.

VOL. III.-26

Clo. Advise you what you say: the minister is here. [Speaking as sir Topas.]-Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore! endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble.

Mal. Sir Topas,—

Clo. Maintain no words with him, good fellow.Who, I, sir? not I, sir.

God b' wi' you, good sir

Topas.-Marry, amen.-I will, sir, I will.
Mal. Fool, fool, fool, I say.

Clo. Alas, sir, be patient.

shent for speaking to you.

What say you, sir? I am

Mal. Good fool, help me to some light, and some paper; I tell thee, I am as well in my wits, as any man in Illyria.

Clo. Well-a-day, that you were, sir!

Mal. By this hand, I am. Good fool, some ink, paper, and light, and convey what I will set down to my lady it shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did.

Clo. I will help you to 't. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed? or do you but counterfeit ?

Mal. Believe me, I am not: I tell thee true. Clo. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman, till I see his brains. I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink. requite it in the highest degree: I

Mal. Fool, I'll

pr'ythee, be gone. Clo. [Singing.]3

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1 Not in f. e. 2 Rebuked. 3 Not in f. e. 4 In: in f. e. 6 A character in the early English drama.

&c.: in f. e. in f. e.


5 To the, 7 devil:


Enter SEBASTIAN. Seb. This is the air ; that is the glorious sun; This pearl she gave me, I do feel 't, and see 't; And though 't is wonder that enwraps me thus, Yet 't is not madness. Where's Antonio then ? I could not find him at the Elephant; Yet there he was, and there I found this credit, That he did range the town to seek me out. His counsel now might do me golden service : For though my soul disputes well with my sense, That this may be some error, but no madness, Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune So far exceed all instance, all discourse, That I am ready to distrust mine eyes, And wrangle with my reason, that persuades me To any other trust but that I am mad; Or else the lady's mad: yet, if 't were so, She could not sway her house, command her followers, Take, and give back, and thus despatch affairs, With such a smooth, discreet, and stable bearing, As, I perceive, she does. There's something in 't, That is deceivable. But here the lady comes.

Enter OLIVIA and a Priest. Oli. Blame not this haste of mine. If you mean well, Now go with me, and with this holy man, Into the chantry by; there, before him, And underneath that consecrated roof, Plight me the full assurance of your faith ; That my most jealous and too doubtful soul May live at peace : he shall conceal it, Whiles you are willing it shall come to note, What time we will our celebration keep According to my birth.—What do you say?

Seb. I'll follow this good man, and go with you, And, having sworn truth, ever will be true. Oli. Then lead the way, good father; and heavens

so shine, That they may fairly note this act of mine! [Exeunt.

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