This account, which is entirely my own, I am proud to imagine has traced knowledge from a fountain correspondent to several opinions of the ancients, though hitherto undiscovered both by them and the more ingenious moderns. And now what shall I say to mankind in the thought of this great discovery? what, but that they should abate their pride, and consider that the authors of our knowledge are among the beasts? that these, who were our elder brothers by a day in the creation, whose kingdom (like that in the scheme of Plato) was governed by philosophers, who flourished with learning in Ethiopia and India, are now distinguished and known only by the same appellation as the man-tiger and the monkey?

As to speech, I make no question, that there are remains of the first and less corrupted race in their native deserts, who yet have the power of it. But the vulgar reason given by the Spaniards, "that they will not speak for fear of being set to work," is alone a sufficient one, considering how exceedingly all other learned persons affect their ease. A second is, that these observant creatures, having been eye-witnesses of the cruelty with which that nation treated their brother Indians, find it necessary not to show themselves to be men, that they may be protected not only from work, but from cruelty also. Thirdly, they could at best take no delight to converse with the Spaniards, whose grave and sullen temper is so averse to that natural and open cheerfulness, which is generally observed to accompany all true knowledge.

But now were it possible, that any way could be found to draw forth their latent qualities, I cannot but think it would be highly serviceable to the learned world, both in respect of recovering past knowledge, and promoting the future. Might there not be found

certain gentle and artful methods, whereby to endear us to them? Is there no nation in the world, whose natural turn is adapted to engage their society, and win them by a sweet similitude of manners? Is there no nation, where the men might allure them by a distinguishing civility, and in a manner fascinate them by assimilated motions? no nation, where the women with easy freedoms, and the gentlest treatment, might oblige the loving creatures to sensible returns of humanity? The love I bear my native country prompts me to wish this nation might be Great Britain; but alas! in our present wretched, divided condition, how can we hope, that foreigners of so great prudence will freely declare their sentiments in the midst of violent parties, and at so vast a distance from their friends, relations, and country? The affection I bear our neighbour state, would incline me to wish it were Holland

Sed læva in parte mamillæ

Nil salit Arcadico.

It is from France then we must expect this restoration of learning, whose late monarch took the sciences under his protection, and raised them to so great a height. May we not hope their emissaries will some time or other have instructions, not only to invite learned men into their country, but learned beasts, the true ancient man-tigers I mean of Æthiopia and India? Might not the talents of each kind of these be adapted to the improvement of the several sciences? the man-tigers to instruct heroes, statesmen, and scholars; baboons to teach ceremony and address to courtiers; monkeys, the art of pleasing in conversation, and agreeable affectations to ladies and their lovers; apes of less learning to form comedians and dancing masters; and marmosets, court

pages and young English travellers? But the distinguishing of each kind, and allotting the proper business to each, I leave to the inquisitive and penetrating genius of the Jesuits in their respective missions.

Vale, et fruere.

VOL. XXIII.

ANNUS MIRABILIS :

OR,

THE WONDERFUL EFFECTS

OF

THE APPROACHING CONJUNCTION OF THE PLANETS

JUPITER, MARS, AND SATURN.

BY MART. SCRIBLERUS, PHILOMATH.

In nova fert animus mutatas dicere formas
Corpora

I SUPPOSE every body is sufficiently apprised of, and duly prepared for, the famous conjunction to be celebrated the 29th of this instant December, 1722, foretold by all the sages of antiquity under the name of the annus mirabilis, or the metamorphostical conjunction: a word which denotes the mutual transformation of sexes (the effect of that configuration of the celestial bodies) the human males being to be turned into females, and the human females into males.

The Egyptians have represented this great transformation by several significant hieroglyphics, particularly one very remarkable. There are carved upon an obelisk, a barber and a midwife; the barber delivers his razor to the midwife, and she her swaddling clothes to the barber. Accordingly Thales Milesius (who, like

the rest of his countrymen, borrowed his learning from the Egyptians) after having computed the time of this famous conjunction, "then," says he, "shall men and women mutually exchange the pangs of shaving and childbearing."

Anaximander modestly describes this metamorphosis in mathematical terms, "then," says he, "shall the negative quantity of the women be turned into positive, their into + (i. e.) their minus into plus.” Plato not only speaks of this great change, but describes all the preparations toward it. Long before the bodily transformation," says he, “nature shall begin the most difficult part of the work, by changing the ideas and inclinations of her two sexes: men shall turn effeminate, and women manly; wives shall domineer, and husbands obey; ladies shall ride a horseback, dressed like cavaliers; princes and nobles appear in nightrails and petticoats; men shall squeak upon theatres with female voices, and women corrupt virgins; lords shall knot and cut paper: and even the northern people ¿psévæ xuæpiv ¿piveïv," a phrase (which, for modesty's sake, I forbear to translate) which denotes a vice too frequent among us.

That the ministry foresaw this great change, is plain from the calico act; whereby it is now become the occupation of the women all over England, to convert their useless female habits into beds, window-curtains, chairs, aud joint-stools; undressing themselves (as it were) before their transformation.

The philosophy of this transformation will not scem surprising to people, who search into the bottom of things. Madame Bourignon, a devout French lady, bas shown us, how man was at first created male and female in one individual, having the faculty of propagation within himself; a circumstance necessary to the state of