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AN ABLE FATHER.
"NOT WORDS BUT ACTIONS PROVE THE MAN.' A common councilman's lady paying her 'I can never subscribe to the doctrine of that daughter a visit at school, and inquiring what sermon,' said a sleepy-headed parishioner, who progress she had made in her education, the was wont to dose in meeting every Sunday, to governess answered, 'Pretty good, madam;
a neighbour as they were coming out of church miss is very attentive; if she wants anything it together. - 'Can't subscribe?' was the reply: is capacity; but for that deficiency you know we 'why, I saw you nodding assent to every assermust not blame her.'-'No, madam,' replied the tion.' mother, “but I blame you for not having men
AN IRISH TIMEPIECE. tioned it before. Her father can afford his
"Will you be after tellin' us what's the time, daughter a capacity; and I beg she may have
Patrick?' asked Tim of his friend, who was one immediately, cost what it may.'
sporting an imaginary timekeeper, or rather a DR CHALMERS AND SHERIDAN.
chain, and a showy bunch of seals.-'An' sure Dr Chalmers used often to tell of a scene he I'd do it with all the pleasure in life,' said Pat, witnessed at the Westminster bustings when ‘only my watch is almost two days too fast.' Sheridan was a candidate. An ugly fellow,
IRISH WIT. raised on the shoulders of the mob, said to Sheri
A poor girl drove a donkey, laden with turf, dan, 'If you do not alter your ways, I will with
into Enniskillen, a few days ago, and, having draw my countenance from you.'--Sheridan re
disposed of them, she then went into a shop to plied, 'I am very glad to hear it, for an uglier
purchase some articles, leaving the ass at the countenance I never saw.' The countenance
door. A gallant officer of the 57th regiment, sank quickly out of sight.
who happened to be passing shortly after, called THE MARK OVERSHOT.
out indignantly the removal of the obstruc“Yes, ma'am, that's a crack article,' said a tion. 'I say, girl, what makes you keep your shopkeeper to a lady purchaser.--'Oh, mercy,' ass on the side-walk? Remove it immediately.' cried she, 'if the thing is crack'd I don't want it.' - Well sir,' said the girl, in apparent good huA HINT TO GO.
mour, ‘if you had staid at home you would not • Zeb,' said a chap to his chum the other day,
have found reason to fall out wid your brother.' seems to me you didn't stay long at Squire The Duke of Wellington, in reply to a clergyFolger's last night?'—'No,' was the reply; 'I man, who was doubting the policy of missionary was sayin' a few pleasant things to the daugh- work in India, said, "What is that to you, sir; ter, and the old man came in and gave me a you have received your general orders - Go and hint to go.'--'A hint, Zeb-what sort of a hint?' teach all nations. Do your duty, sir; never - Why, he gave me my hat, opened the door, mind the result.' and just as he began to raise his heavy boot, I
A Scottish minister administered a rebuke to had a thought that I wasn't wanted, and so I-I
his man John, for getting occasionally a little took my leave.'
elevated in the course of his peregrinations on A FEW THINGS TO AVOID.
sessional business; and John excused himself A bottle of wine at a public dinner; a short
on the plea that the country folk pressed him 80 cut when you are in a hurry; metaphysics at
heartily to take a dram. “John,' replied the five o'clock in the morning; walking between
minister, in a tone of grave rebuke, 'I also visit two umbrellas on a pouring wet day; a man who
my people, but nobody thinks of pressing me.' carries bill-stamps in his pocket; “just another
- Ay, but,' says John, 'that's maybe because glass before you go;' going into a chapel without
you are no sae respeckit in the parish as I am.' a shilling; being the mediator of a quarrel between a man and his wife ; and taking a new
When Milton was blind he married a shrew, hat to an evening party.
The Duke of Buckingham called her a rose. 'I
am no judge of colours,' replied Milton, but it A NEGRO DIALOGUE. 'I say, Batz, where do dat comit rise at?'--'It
may be so, for I feel the thorns daily.' rises in the 46th meridian ob de frigid zodiac, as
A practitioner being asked by his patient why set down in de comic almanack.'--'Well, where he put so many ingredients into his prescripdoes it set, Batz?'-'Set? you black fool? it don't
tions, is said to have answered, more facetiously set nowhere. When it gets tired of shining it
than philosophically, 'in order that the disease goes in its hole.'
may take which it likes best.' THE CITY ARTIOLE.
A gentleman passing through one of the pubA well-known alderman was taken to see the lic offices was affronted by some clerks, and was hippopotamus. He looked at it intently for a advised to complain to the principal, which he quarter-of-an-hour, and then burst out of this did thus:-'I have been abused here by some of reverie with the following remark:-'I wonder the rascals in this place, and have come to acwhat sort of soup it would make?'
quaint you of it, as I understand you are the
principal.' MIND YOUR OWN AFFAIRS. "I can't conceive,' said one nobleman to an
Colonel W is a fine-looking man, isn't other, ‘how it is that you manage ; I am con
he?' said a friend of ours the other day.— Yes,' vinced that you are not of a temper to spend replied another, 'I was taken for him once.' more than your income; and yet, though your
*You ! why you're as ugly as sin !'-'I don't care estate is less than mine, I could not afford to
for that I endorsed his note, and I was taken live at the rate you do.'--'My lord,' said the
for him by the sheriff.' other, 'I have a situation!'- You amaze me, I 'I keep an excellent table,' said a landlady, never heard of it till now; pray what is it?'-'I disputing with one of her boarders. “That may am my own steward.'
be true, madam, but you put very little on it.'
ful, devoted servant like me ought unTHE COPPER MIRROR.
doubtedly to acquaint her master immeA Flemish menage, although day by diately. But then, my dear young misday, and almost hour by hour, subjected tress, what would she not have to suffer ? to the various processes of scrubbing, Her father would never forgive her.' scouring, waxing, and arranging in apple- Brigitta's tears fell fast upon the brilpie order, has, nevertheless, its high-day, liant copper, where they remained tremconsecrated from time immemorial, to bling like dewdrops. The good creature a most especial, though quite superero- carefully wiped the caldron, re-entered the gatory, cleansing and putting to rights. house, and occupied herself in preparing This day is Saturday, and is observed | the family supper. While thus engaged, her with extraordinary punctuality in every mind incessantly dwelt upon the secret decent family. The slabs of baked earth, she had discovered, and the best mode composing the flooring of the apartments, of action under the circumstances. At are deluged with floods of water, and well length the duties of the weary day were scrubbed with brooms; the furniture is at an end, and Brigitta availed herself of polished to distraction; and every brass her first moment of leisure to seek out her ornament, door-handle, and copper sauce- young mistress; whom she found seated pan, shines as if composed of the purest in the dark in her own chamber, and sobgold.
bing violently. It was in such labours as these that What is the matter, dear child ?' asked old Brigitta, who had lived in the service of the old domestic, with the permitted fathe Schaurmans family thirty years, was miliarity of long service, at the same time busily occupied on the Saturday afternoon pressing the young girls hand. when our historiette commences. The ob- 'Oh! my dear nurse,' answered the ject of her especial pride and attention sobbing Marie, hiding her convulsed face was an enormous caldron of the finest on the old servant's shoulder, 'it is a sad copper, which was already so bright with secret, that I dare not confide even to incessant care and polishing, that it re- you. No, no, Brigitta, I dare not tell flected the smallest object like a huge you; never, never!' mirror. This useful vessel the good old Well, my dear,' answered Brigitta, servant had taken into the courtyard, and kindly, 'to save you the pain of confessing was just giving its splendid circumference your secret and your fault, I will tell you a final rub, when she started and drew that chance has discovered the whole to back, with an expression of countenance me. I saw you this morning allow your indicative of surprise and almost horror. drawing-master to kiss your pure forehead;
What was the treacherous reflection I watched you exchange rings, pray, and which had thus disturbed the equanimity weep together. The copper caldron told of our faithful Brigitta ? Neither more me all. Alas! my dear young mistress.' nor less than her young mistress—at a win- Hear me, Brigitta, before you condow to which the old servant's back was
demn me. Never has a single word of turned, but which had its counterpart in tenderness escaped the lips of Gerard the tell-tale brass—leaning towards her Gerburg; only for some time back he has drawing-master, and without rebuke, or been exceedingly absent and melancholy. struggle, or frown, allowing him to salute To-day he was worse than usual; and her fair forehead with a lover's ardent while I wondered what he could be thinkkiss. This first act performed, the indis-ing about, he abruptly said, "To-morrow creet mirror revealed the young couple I depart for Spain. I mean to make mykneeling side by side, exchanging rings, self à name, to become rich, and then reand lifting their hands to heaven, as if turn to Flanders for a wife.” I felt so calling upon it to witness their solemn odd; I believe I nearly fainted. Gebetrothment.
rard continued:—"To accomplish all this, 'Jesu, Maria!' thought Brigitta to four years are necessary. If you were the herself, 'what will people say, if it should young girl who possesses my love, would ever get abroad in the town of Swal, that you, could you have confidence in my the daughter of the richest citizen in the success? Would you wait four years to province of Overissel has plighted her become my wife ?" When he said this, troth to a poor painter, neither possessed Brigitta, I leaned towards him; he kissed of money nor reputation! I cannot con- my forehead. Then we changed rings, nive at anything so dreadful. A faith- prayed, and wept together.'
But your honoured father, Made- come a sober personage of fifty-eight moiselle Marie, what will he say to all years; her once slender figure having conthis ?'
tracted an embonpoint that harmonised 'I shall keep it secret until Gerard's admirably with her plump and benevoreturn.'
lent physiognomy. But neither this en'But suppose he should decide upon bonpoint nor the advanced age of. Brigitta your marriage ?'
materially interfered with the activity of 'I shall reject all proposals of the kind.' the two women; which still remained so
'If he insist upon your obedience to unimpaired, that in the autumn of 1678 his will ?'
they undertook a journey to Haarlem. 'I will die rather than be unfaithful There they alighted at the best hotel to Gerard ! cried the young girl. in the town. Unfortunately all the rooms
Brigitta, as might have been expected, were bespoken, with the exception of one; became thenceforth the ally and confi- and this was obstinately disputed by a dante of her young mistress. To her traveller, who had arrived at the same Mario related all her fears and disquie-time with Mademoiselle Schaurmans. tudes; her sorrow at offending her affec- This impolite traveller was a little blunt tionate father, when lover after lover old man, and by no means disposed to presented himself
, and was refused; her cede his rights even to a lady. Madehappy, fluttering anticipation of Ger-moiselle Schaurmans, accustomed to the burg's return, as the four years drew to utmost respect and deference in her small a close.
native town of Swal, felt herself considerAlas! they elapsed, and he came not. ably wounded by the rudeness with which Anxiety succeeded anticipation, and then the little old man insisted upon his claim; came despair; for surely Gerard must be and the plain-spoken Brigitta could nct dead, or he could not have failed in so refrain from exclaiming alond, that a lady sacred a promise. Brigitta endeavoured being in question, it was the duty of a to combat this idea, while all the while polite man to yield his rights, however believing it in her heart; for suspicion unquestionable. of treason or forgetfulness was foreign to At our age,' replied the crabbed old the simple souls of these upright-minded fellow, 'there exists no longer any dis
tinction. We are two old people, that is Time went on, and Marie's despair all; we need the same attentions and merged, little by little, into a species of comforts. A bad night would be equally gentle resignation, which, nevertheless, objectionable and injurious to me as to totally precluded the idea of forming your mistress. I have a right to the another engagement. She still continued chamber, and shall keep it.' resolutely to dismiss all suitors for her The two tired women were compelled haud, even as she had done in her father's to yield, and seek refuge in another hotel; lifetinie; for the old gentleman was now where they arrived, shivering with cold, dead, having expired about seven years for it was now eight o'clock in the evenafter the departure of Gerburg. Being ing, and in the worst of humours. thus left her own mistress, Mademoiselle Jesu, Maria!' exclaimed Brigitta, as Schaurmons resolved to devote herself to she felt the mattresses of their beds, which a life of celibacy. Her immense fortune were hard and uncomfortable, 'what a was expended in works of charity, in brute the man is !' which she was ably assisted by the faith- 'I never beheld so disagreeable a counful Brigitta, whose age had not yet ren- tenance,' replied her mistress. 'His apdered her infirm. These two excellent pearance is so singular, too; with his women visited the poor together, spread- puckered mouth, his bald pate, and great ing ease and happiness by their liberal gouty feet.' and judicious alms. Every one in the "We are two old people," said he. uitle town of Swal knew and loved the Like his impudence; to coni pare a goodDemoiselle Schaurmans and her aged at- looking woman of fifty-six to an old tendant.
podagre of eighty at the least!' Thus elapsed forty peaceful years. Bri- 'Yes; he is most disagreeable. I cangitta was now verging on ninety; and the not image him ever to have been supportpretty little fair-haired Flemish maiden, able, even in youth? whose youthful features had formerly been From the moment I entered the reflected in the copper mirror, had be- hotel, I took a dislike to him.”
The stranger, meanwhile, was express- and wife, we shall at any rate be entitled ing himself with no more moderation than to sleep in the same tomb,' added Gerburg, the two women.
tenderly. Upon my word,' he said, 'it was a And I will lie at your feet,' said the likely matter that I should inconvenience old servant. myself for a fat old citizeness like that. Mademoiselle Schaurmans interrupted It would have suited well with my age them. and dignity, truly!'
'Wherefore these funereal thoughts?' In the midst of such uncivil reflections, said she. 'Is there not reserved for us he was interrupted by his valet de cham- another and more smiling youth, an eterbre.
nity of love and joy?' The ladies with whom you were dis- Gerard looked upon her, with a mournputing, sir, have taken one of your cases ful and doubting smile. with their own luggage by mistake. I 'Yes,' she continued, 'I mean what I believe it is the one containing a pic- say. God has not seen fit to give us feliture.'
city upon earth; he has doubtless reA picture!' exclaimed the old man. served it for another and a purer stage 'Probably my best! The only work of of being. my youth that I preserved. Run, Pierre, But Marie was at length persuaded run quickly to the neighbouring hotel. that there remained some little chance of It is there where the two old women are happiness for her even in this world. So lodged. Stay! I will go myself.? at least it appeared, when, three months
The old painter took his stick, and after the interview recorded above, the hastened to the hotel, with almost youth-whole town of Swal was electrified by the ful vivacity. Entering unannounced the marriage of the rich Mademoiselle Schaurapartment of Mademoiselle Schaurmans, mans with Gerard Gerburg, the celebrated he found the two women in tears. painter.
Worthy daughters of our mother Eve, A year after, an almost equal sensation they had ventured to open the case. It was excited by the joint obsequies of M. contained a picture, representing to the and Madame Gerburg, who had both died life the farewell that had taken place on the same evening; the one of apoplexy, between Gerard and Marie forty years the other of the shock caused by the unago.
expected death of her late-found husMademoiselle Schaurmans and her an
band. cient lover-for our readers will have di- Brigitta, their heir, caused a magnifivined that it was hemgazed long upon cent monument to be erecte to their each other in silence, without being able joint memories; and shortly afterwards to discern in the withered countenances took her place at their feet. It had been of either any trace of the youthful fea- a favourite maxim of hers, that neither tures so faithfully preserved by the me- life nor death have power to separate mory of one, and the pencil of the other. faithful Flemish servant from her emStill doubtful, they slowly approached and ployers. joined hands. Marie!' exclaimed Gerburg, at length,
DON'T TAKE A REST. in a voice stifled with emotion, 'can you Don't do that, dear sir- don't do it. ever forgive me?'
Don't take a rest. There's something Alas! what matters it?' replied she, sad in the idea of taking a rest; somevery calmly. 'At our age the feelings of thing that speaks of decay, of energies youth are forgotten. In you I re-find a exhausted, of life-springs drying up. To friend, a brother.
us the words come freighted with no pleaA husband, Marie. Suffer me at least sant memories. We had an ancient friend to endeavour to repair the past. Let us long ago, a rough specimen of a man, but realise in some measure, old as we are be- every inch a man; one of nature's nobicome, the dreams of other times. What lity-honest and straightforward as truth say you, Brigitta ? you not plead itself-whose good opinion we lost for a with your mistress for me?'
time by 'taking a rest. He was a man 'Yes,' exclaimed Brigitta, heartily, 'as of eccentricities, of idiosyncrasies, if you I hope to be happy hereafter.'
please, and it cost us years of effort to 'If we have not much time to comfort get back into our old place in his regards, each other by the dear names of husband We said he was a rough specimen of a
man, but he was one of giant sympathies craft. It was opposed to all rule, a pracand a big heart. He was a man of the tice which, if largely indulged in, would back-settlements and the woods. He cost one his position among sportsmen, was a mighty hunter, and the game he and the regards of every true hunter and sighted might count itself as lost. He woodman. As we said, the first shot loved his friends, and was proud of them. fell by lot to ourself, and we were about He loved his rifle and his dogs. He loved taking our position, when we felt a hand the old woods and mountains, and the laid upon our shoulder. Turning, we wild streams. He was older by a score saw our old friend standing beside us, of years than ourself; but the icicles of leaning upon his long rifle. We had not age never gathered around his heart, and noticed him before. Don't do it,' said the coldness of growing years never chilled he; 'Sam, don't do it-never take a rest; the genial warmth of his nature. He has stand up like a man, and fire off-hand. passed to his rest now, and sleeps quietly If you miss, you can't help it, and nobody under the shadow of thick-foliaged maples blames you, but never take a rest. His on a little knoll selected by himself. Calm voice sounded more in sorrow than in be thy slumbers, mine ancient friend, and anger, but we saw that his confidence in happy thy long future in the world to our woodcraft was shaken, and his esteem come! He loved his rifle and his dogs, for us as a hunter fading away. and his heart was ready to embrace the We did stand up and fire off-hand, and man who loved the tangled forest-paths, the head of the turkey was shattered by who loved to hear the music of his hounds our ball. That shot did much toward upon the mountain, and to bring down calling back to us his wandering regards; the flying deer. A marksman himself, but it was not until we had hunted with he was ready to love the man who could him, and brought down many a noble equal him in skill with the rifle; and to deer in his company, that the impression be his superior was a surer passport still of our weakness in 'taking & rest' was to his affections.
effaced from his mind. We admonish On a Christmas day, long ago, when you, therefore, our very dear sir, in the we were younger by many, many years language of our ancient friend, 'Don't do than we are now, we went to a gathering, it; never take a rest. Stand up like a known among the border villages as a man, and fire off-hand. If you miss, noshooting-match. Turkeys were the prizes body blames you, but "never take a rest." contended for. A plank was placed at There's a moral in the admonition, a moral some five-and-twenty rods' distance, with and deep philosophy in the advice. Ala hole in it, through which was thrust ways, and at all times through life, whatthe head of the turkey, while his body ever temptations may beset you, however was secured behind it. At this mark misfortune may darken around you, yield the 'sportsman' fired. If blood was not a foot to the tempter, bend not a drawn, the marksman was entitled to joint to misfortune, but 'stand up like a the turkey. Each competitor paid a man, and fire off-hand.' small piece of money before taking a shot, which went to the owner of the turkey. Well, we were there with our
NATURE IN MOTION. rifle, to take our chance with the rest INSECTS AND THE LOWER ANIMALS. for a Christmas dinner. A number of To the careless observer, animals seem marksmen had preceded us, and we our- to be as permanent features in nature as selves had failed in a shot or two, when plants. Apparently the same sparrow it was proposed to take a fest;' that picks up grains of wheat in the harvestis, to lie down with the rifle resting upon field that robbed our cherries in early a block properly arranged, and in that summer, and the same game which our position take sight and fire at the head forefathers hunted tempts us now in field of the poor bird. Its owner had already and forest. pocketed twice its value in shillings, and It is, however, not so. The demorahe consented to the arrangement. The lised domestic animals, it is true, are nearly block was placed in position, and the first the same now that they ever were; the shot fell by lot to ourself. Among hun- same sheep of whom 'Abel was a keeper' ters in those days, taking a rest, either sleep night after night on our pastures, at living game or a dead mark, was a and the cattle on a thousand hills' rove violation of all the proprieties of wood- | now on our plains. But all nobler, higher