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De Wilde pint

MQUICK as TONY LUMPKIN
There's an M, and a T, and an Sibut whether

the next be an Izzard or an R, confound ment

cannottell.

London. Printed for J Bell British Library, Strand 17 Dec 79.

him from Hastings. I know the hand. If my aunt sees it, we are ruined for ever. I'll keep her employ'd a little if I can. [To Mrs. Hardcastle] But I have not told you, Madam, of my cousin's smart answer just now to Mr. Marlow. We so laugh'dYou must know, Madam-this way a little, for he must not hear us. [They confer.

Tony. [Still gazing] A damn'd cramp piece of penmanship, as ever I saw in my life. I can read your print-hand very well. But here there are such handles, and shanks, and dashes, that one can scarce tell the head from the tail. To Anthony Lumpkin, Esq. It's very odd, I can read the outside of my letters, where my own name is, well enough. But when I come to open it, it is all-buzz. That's hard, very hard: for the inside of the letter is always the cream of the correspondence.

Mrs. Hard. Ha! ha! ha! Very well, very well. And so my son was too hard for the philosopher. Miss Nev. Yes, Madam; but you must hear the rest, Madam. A little more this way, or he may hear us. You'll hear how he puzzled him again. Mrs. Hard. He seems strangely puzzled now himself, methinks.

Tony. [Still gazing] A damn'd up and down hand, as if it was disguised in liquor. [Reading] Dear Sir. Ay, that's that. Then there's an M, and a T, and an S, but whether the next be an izzard or an R, confound me, I cannot tell.

H

Mrs. Hard. What's that, my dear. Can I give you any assistance?

Miss Nev. Pray, aunt, let me read it. Nobody reads a cramp hand better than I [twitching the letter from her.] Do you know who it is from?

Tony. Can't tell, except from Dick Ginger the feeder.

Miss Nev. Ay, so it is, [pretending to read] Dear 'Squire, Hoping that you're in health, as I am at this present. The gentlemen of the Shake-bag club ha: cut the gentlemen of the goose-green quite out of feather. The odds-um-odd battle -um-long fighting-um-here, here, it's all about cocks, and fighting; it's of no consequence, here, put it up, put it up. [thrusting the crumpled letter upon him.]

Tony. But I tell you, Miss, it's of all the consequence in the world. I would not lose the rest of it for a guinea. Here, mother, do you make it out. Of no consequence? [Giving Mrs. Hardcastle the letter.

Mrs. Hard. How's this! [reads] "Dear'Squire, I'm now waiting for Miss Neville, with a post chaise and pair, at the bottom of the garden, but I find my horses yet unable to perform the journey. I expect you'll assist us with a pair of fresh horses, as you promised. Dispatch is necessary, as the hag (ay the hag) your mother, will otherwise suspect us. Your's, Hastings." Grant me patience. I shall run distracted. My rage chokes me.

Miss Nev. I hope, Madam, you'll suspend your resentment for a few moments, and not impute to me

any impertinence, or sinister design that belongs to another.

Mrs. Hard. [Curtesying very low] Fine spoken, Madam, you are most miraculously polite and engaging, and quite the very pink of courtesy and circumspection. Madam. [Changing her tone] And you, you great illfashioned oaf, with scarce sense enough to keep your mouth shut. Were you too join'd against me? But I'll defeat all your plots in a moment. As for you,

Your

Madam, since you have got a pair of fresh horses rea-
dy, it would be cruel to disappoint them. So, if you
please, instead of running away with your spark, pre-
pare, this very moment, to run off with me.
old aunt Pedigree will keep you secure, I'll warrant
me. You too, Sir, may mount your horse, and guard
us upon the way. Here, Thomas, Roger, Diggory,
I'll shew you, that I wish you better than you do
yourselves.

Miss Nev. So now I'm completely ruined.
Tony. Ay, that's a sure thing.

[Exit.

Miss Nev. What better could be expected from being connected with such a stupid fool, and after all the nods and signs I made him.

Tony. By the laws, Miss, it was your own cleverness, and not my stupidity, that did your business. You were so nice and so busy with your Shake-bags and Goose-greens, that I thought you could never be making believe.

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