bitter passion, and then nobody will suspect either of us. I'll bear witness that they are gone.

Mrs. Hard. Was there ever such a cross-grain'd brute, that won't hear me! Can you bear witness that you're no better than a fool? Was ever poor woman so beset with fools on one hand, and thieves on the other.

Tony. I can bear witness to that.

Mrs. Hard. Bear witness again, you blockhead you, and I'll turn you out of the room directly. My poor niece, what will become of her! Do you laugh, you unfeeling brute, as if you enjoy'd my distress? Tony. I can bear witness to that.

Mrs. Hard. Do you insult me, monster? I'll teach you to vex your mother, I will.

Tony. I can bear witness to that.

[He runs off, she follows him.

Enter Miss HARDCASTLE, and Maid.

Miss Hard. What an unaccountable creature is that brother of mine, to send them to the house as an inn, ha ha! I don't wonder at his impudence.

Maid. But what is more, Madam, the young gentleman, as you passed by in your present dress, ask'd me if you were the bar-maid? He mistook you for the bar-maid, Madam.

Miss Hard. Did he? Then as I live I'm resolv'd to keep up the delusion. Tell me, Pimple, how do you Don't you think I look some.

like my present dress.

thing like Cherry in the Beaux Stratagem?

Maid. It's the dress, Madam, that every lady wears in the country, but when she visits or receives com

pany.

Miss Hard. And are you sure he does not rememmy face or person

ber

Maid. Certain of it.

Miss Hard. I vow I thought so; for though we spoke for some time together, yet his fears were such, that he never once looked up during the interview. Indeed if he had, my bonnet would have kept him from seeing me,

Maid. But what do you hope from keeping him in his mistake.

Miss Hard. In the first place, I shall be seen, and that is no small advantage to a girl who brings her face to market. Then I shall perhaps make an acquaintance, and that's no small victory gained over one who never addresses any but the wildest of her sex. But my chief aim is to take my gentleman off his guard, and, like an invisible champion of romance, examine the giant's force before I offer to combat.

Maid. But are you sure you can act your part, and disguise your voice, so that he may mistake that, as he has already mistaken your person?

Miss Hard. Never fear me. I think I have got the
-Attend the

true bar-cant-Did your honour call?-
Lion there-Pipes and tobacco for the Angel-The
Lamb has been outrageous this half hour.

Maid. It will do, Madam. But he's here.

[Exit Maid.

Enter MARLOW.

Mar. What a bawling in every part of the house; I have scarce a moment's repose. If I go to the best room, there I find my host and his story. If I fly to the gallery, there we have my hostess with her curtesy down to the ground. I have at last got a moment to myself, and now for recollection.

[Walks and muses. Miss Hard. Did you call, Sir? did your honour call? Mar. [Musing] As for Miss Hardcastle, she's too grave and sentimental for me.

Miss Hard. Did your honour call?

[She still places herself before him, he turning away. Mar. No, child [musing] Besides, from the glimpse I had of her, I think she squints.

Miss Hard. I'm sure, Sir, I heard the bell ring.

Mar. No, no. [musing] I have pleased my father, however, by coming down, and I'll to-morrow please myself by returning.

[Taking out his tablets, and perusing. Miss Hard. Perhaps the other gentleman called, Sir.

Mar. I tell you, no.

Miss Hard. I should be glad to know, Sir. We have such a parcel of servants.

Mar. No, no, I tell you. [Looks full in her face. Yes, child, I think I did call. I wanted- -I wanted -I vow, child, you are vastly handsome.

Miss Hard. O la, Sir, you'll make one asham’d.

Mar. Never saw a more sprightly malicious eye.

Yes, yes, my dear, I did call.

Have you got any of

your- -a- -what d'ye call it, in the house?

Miss Hard. No, Sir, we have been out of that these ten days.

Mar. One may call in this house, I find, to very little purpose. Suppose I should call for a taste, just by way of trial, of the nectar of your lips; perhaps I might be disappointed in that too.

Miss Hard. Nectar! nectar! that's a liquor there's no call for in these parts. French, I suppose. We keep no French wines here, Sir.

Mar. Of true English growth, I assure you.

Miss Hard. Then it's odd I should not know it. We brew all sorts of wines in this house, and I have lived here these eighteen years.

Mar. Eighteen years! Why one would think, child, you kept the bar before you were born. How old are you?

Miss Hard. O! Sir, I must not tell my age. They say women and music should never be dated.

Mar. To guess at this distance, you can't be much above forty [approaching.] Yet nearer I don't think so much [approaching.] By coming close to some women they look younger still; but when we come very close indeed [attempting to kiss her].

Miss Hard. Pray, Sir, keep your distance. One would think you wanted to know one's age as they do horses, by mark of mouth.

Mar. I protest, child, you use me extremely ill.

If you keep me at this distance, how is it possible you and I can be ever acquainted?

Miss Hard. And who wants to be acquainted with you? I want no such acquaintance, not I. I'm sure you did not treat Miss Hardcastle that was here a while ago in this obstropalous manner. I'll warrant me, before her you look'd dash'd, and kept bowing to the ground, and talk'd, for all the world, as if you was before a justice of the peace.

Mar. [Aside] Egad! she has hit it, sure enough. [To her.] In awe of her, child? Ha! ha! ha! A mere, awkward, squinting thing, no, no. I find you don't know me. I laugh'd, and rallied her a little ; but I was unwilling to be too severe. No, I could not be too severe, curse me !

Miss Hard. O! then, Sir, you are a favourite, I find, among the ladies?

Mar. Yes, my dear, a great favourite. And yet, hang me, I don't see what they find in me to follow. At the Ladies club in town, I'm call'd their agreeaable Rattle. Rattle, child, is not my real name, but one I'm known by. My name is Solomons. Mr. Solomons, my dear, at your service. [Offering to

salute her.]

Miss Hard. Hold, Sir; you were introducing me to your club, not to yourself. And you're so great a favourite there you say?

Mar. Yes, my dear. There's Mrs. Mantrap, Lady Betty Blackleg, the Countess of Sligo, Mrs.