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P'li leave it to all men of sense,
But you my good friend are the Pigeon.

Toroddle, toroddle, toroll.

Then come, put the jorum about,

And let us be merry and clever, Our hearts and our liquors are stout,

Here's the Three Folly Pigeons for ever.
Let some cry up woodcock or hare,

Your bustards, your ducks, and your widgeons ;
But of all the birds in the air,
Here's a health to the Three Jolly Pigeons.

Toroddle, toroddle, toroll.

Omnes. Bravo, bravo.
1st Fel. The 'Squire has got spunk in him.

2nd Fel. I loves to hear him sing, bekeays he never gives us nothing that's low.

3rd Fel. O damn any thing that's low, I cannot bear it.

4th Fel. The genteel thing is the genteel thing at any time. If so be that a gentleman bees in a concatenation accordingly.

3rd Fel. I like the maxum of it, Master Muggins. What tho’I am obligated to dance a bear, a man may be a gentleman for all that. May this be my poison if my bear ever dances but to the very genteelest of

Water Parted, or the minuet in Ariadne. 2nd Fel. What a pity it is the 'Squire is not come to

tunes.

his own. It would be well for all the publicans within ten miles round of him.

Tony. Ecod, and so it would Master Slang. I'd then shew what it was to keep choice of company.

2nd Fel. O he takes after his own father for that. To be sure old 'Squire Lumpkin was the finest gentleman I ever set my eyes on. For winding the streight horn, or beating a thicket for a hare, or a wench, he never had his fellow. It was a saying in the place, that he kept the best horses, dogs, and girls, in the whole county.

Tony. Ecod, and when I'm of age I'll be no bastard I promise you. I have been thinking of Bett Bouncer and the miller's grey mare to begin with. But come, my boys, drink about and be merry, for you pay no reckoning. Well Stingo, what's the matter?

Enter LANDLORD.

Land. There be two gentlemen in a post-chaise at the door. They have lost their way upo' the forest; and they are talking something about Mr. Hardcastle.

Tony. As sure as can be one of them must be the gentleman that's coming down to court my sister. Da they seem to be Londoners ?

Land. I believe they may. They look woundily like Frenchmen.

Tony. Then desire them to step this way, and I'll set them right in a twinkling. [Exit Landlord] Gentlemen, as they may’nt be good enough company for

you, step down for a moment, and I'll be with you in the squeezing of a lemon.

[Exeunt Mob. Tony. Father-in-law has been calling me whelp, and hound, this half year. Now if I pleased, I could be so revenged upon the old grumbletonian. But then I'm afraid-afraid of what! I shall soon be worth fifteen hundred a year, and let him frighten me out of that if he can.

Enter LANDLORD, conducting MARLOW and HAST

INGS.

Mar. What a tedious uncomfortable day have we had of it! We were told it was but forty miles across the country, and we have come above threescore.

Hast. And all, Marlow, from that unaccountable reserve of yours, that would not let us enquire more frequently on the way.

Mar. I own, Hastings, I am unwilling to lay myself under an obligation to every one I meet; and often, stand the chance of an unmannerly answer.

Hast. At present, however, we are not likely to receive any answer.

Tony. No offence, gentlemen. But I'm told you have been enquiring for one Mr. Hardcastle, in these parts. Do you know what part of the country you are in ?

Hast. Not in the least, Sir, but should thank you for information.

Tony. Nor the way you came ?
Hast. No, Sir; but if you can inform us-

C

Tony. Why, gentlemen, if you know neither the road you are going, nor where you are, nor the road you came, the first thing I have to inform you is, that_You have lost your way.

Mar. We wanted no ghost to tell us that.

Tony. Pray, gentlemen, may I be so bold as to ask the place from whence you came ?

Mar. That's not necessary towards directing us where we are to go.

Tony. No offence : but question for question is all fair, you know. Pray, gentlemen, is not this same Hardcastle a cross-grain’d, old fashion'd, whimsical fellow, with an ugly face; a daughter, and a pretty

son?

Hast. We have not seen the gentleman, but he has the family you mention.

Tony. The daughter, a tall trapesing, trolloping, talkative maypole--The son, a pretty, well-bred, agreeable youth, that every body is fond of.

Mar. Our information differs in this. The daughter is said to be well-bred and beautiful; the son, an awkward booby, reared up, and spoiled at his mother's apron-string.

Tony. He-he-hem-Then, gentlemen, all I have to tell you is, that you won't reach Mr. Hardcastle's house this night, I believe.

Hast. Unfortunate!

Tony. It's a damn'd long, dark, boggy, dirty, dangerous way. Stingo, tell the gentlemen the way to Mr. Hardcastle's; (winking upon the Landlord] Mr.

Hardcastle's, of Quagmire Marsh, you understand

me.

Land. Master Hardcastle's! Lock-a-daisy, my masters, you're come a deadly deal wrong! When you came to the bottom of the hill, you should have cross'd down Squash-lane.

Mar. Cross down Squash-lane !

Land. Then you were to keep streight forward, 'till you came to four roads.

Mar. Come to where four roads meet!

Tony. Ay; but you must be sure to take only one of them.

Mar: O Sir, you're facetious.

Tony. Then keeping to the right, you are to go sideways till you come upon Crack-skull common : there you must look sharp for the track of the wheel, and go forward, till you come to farmer Murrain's barn. Coming to the farmer's barn, you are to turn to the right, and then to the left, and then to the right about again, till you find out the old mill

Mar. Zounds, man! we could as soon find out the longitude!

Hast. What's to be done, Marlow?

Mar. This house promises but a poor reception ; though perhaps the Landlord can accommodate us.

Land. Alack, master, we have but one spare bed in the whole house.

Tony. And to my knowledge, that's taken' up by three lodgers already. [After a pause, in which the rest seem disconcerted] I have hit it. Don't you think, Stin.

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