Sir WILLIAM.

Ay, or that does not afk it. I have been now for fome time a concealed spectator of his follies, and find them as boundlefs as his diffipation.

JARVIS.

And yet, faith, he has fome fine name or other for them all. He calls his extravagance, generofity; and his trufting every body, univerfal benevolence. It was but last week he went fecurity for a fellow whose face he scarce knew, and that he called an act of exalted mu-mu-munificence; ay, that was the name he gave

it.

Sir WILLIAM.

And upon that I proceed, as my last effort, though with very little hopes to reclaim him. That very fellow has juft abfconded, and I have taken up the fecurity. Now, my intention is to involve him in fictitious distress, before he has plunged himself into real calamity. To arreft him for that very debt, to clap an officer upon him, and then let him fee which of his friends will come to his relief.

JARVIS.

Well, if I could but any way fee him thoroughly vexed, every groan of his would be mufic to me; yet faith, I believe it impoffible. I have tried to fret him myfelf every morning thefe three years; but, instead of being angry, he fits as calmly to hear me fcold, as he does to his hair-dreffer.

go

Sir WILLIAM.

We must try him once more, however, and I'll this inftant to put my scheme into execution; and I don't defpair of fucceeding, as, by your means, I can have frequent opportunities of being about him, without being known. What a pity it is, Jarvis, that any man's good-will to others should produce fo much neglect of himself, as to require correction? Yet, we muft touch his weakneffes with a delicate hand. There are fome faults fo nearly allied to excellence, that we can fcarce weed out the vice without eradicating the virtue. [Exit.

JARVIS.

Well, go thy ways, Sir William Honeywood. It is not without reason that the world allows thee to be the best of men. But here comes his hopeful nephew; the strange, good-natur'd, foolish, openhearted-And yet, all his faults are fuch that one loves him ftill the better for them.

Enter HONEYWOOD.

HONEYWOOD.

Well, Jarvis, what meffages from my friends this morning?

You have no friends.

JARVIS.

HONEYWOOD.

Well; from my acquaintance then?

JARVIS,

JARVIS.

(Pulling out bills) A few of our ufual cards of compliment, that's all. this from your mercer;

This bill from your taylor;

and this from the little bro

ker in Crooked-lane. He fays he has been at a great deal of trouble to get back the money you borrowed.

HONEYWOOD.

That I don't know; but I'm fure we were at a great deal of trouble in getting him to lend it.

JARVIS.

He has loft all patience.

HONEYWOOD.

Then he has loft a very good thing.

JARVIS.

There's that ten guineas you were fending to the poor gentleman and his children in the Fleet. I believe that would stop his mouth, for a while at least.

HONEYWOOD.

Ay, Jarvis, but what will fill their mouths in the mean time? Muft I be cruel because he happens to be importunate; and, to relieve his avarice, leave them to infupportable distress?

JARVIS.

'Sdeath! Sir, the queftion now is how to relieve yourself. Yourself-Hav'nt I reafon to be out of my fenfes, when I fee things going at fixes and fevens?

HONEYWOOD.

Whatever reason you may have for being out of your fenfes, I hope you'll allow that I'm not quite unreasonable for continuing in mine.

JARVIS.

You're the only man alive in your prefent fituation that could do fo-Every thing upon the waste. There's Mifs Richland and her fine fortune gone already, and upon the point of being given to your rival.

HONEYWOOD.

I'm no man's rival.

JARVIS.

Your uncle in Italy preparing to difinherit you; your own fortune almost spent; and nothing but preffing creditors, falfe friends, and a pack of drunken fervants that your kindness has made unfit for any other family.

HONEYWOOD.

Then they have the more occafion for being in mine.

JARVIS.

Soh! What will you have done with him that I caught ftealing your plate in the pantry? In the fact; I caught him in the fact.

HONEYWOOD.

In the fact? If fo, I really think that we should him his wages, and turn him off.

pay

JARVIS.

JARVIS.

He shall be turn'd off at Tyburn, the dog; we'll hang him, if it be only to frighten the reft of the family.

HONEYWOOD.

No, Jarvis: it's enough that we have loft what he has stolen, let us not add to it the lofs of a fellow creature!

JARVIS.

Very fine; well, here was the footman just now, to complain of the butler; he fays he does most work, and ought to have most wages.

HONEYWOOD.

That's but juft; though perhaps here comes the butler to complain of the footman.

JARVIS.

Ay, its the way with them all, from the fcullion to the privy-counfellor. If they have a bad mafter, they keep quarrelling with him : if they have a good mafter, they keep quarrelling with one another.

Enter BUTLER, drunk.

BUTLER.

Sir, I'll not ftay in the family with Jonathan you must part with him, or part with me, that's the ex-ex-expofition of the matter, Sir.

HONEYWOOD.

Full and explicit enough. But what's his fault,

good Philip?

BUTLER.