MARLOW. Why, man, fhe talked of fhewing me her work above stairs, and I am to improve the pattern. HASTINGS. But how can you, Charles, go about to rob a woman of her honour ? MARLOW. Pfhaw! pfhaw! We all know the honour of the bar-maid of in inn. I don't intend to rob her, take my word for it, there's nothing in this house, I fhan't honeftly pay for. HASTINGS. I believe the girl has virtue. MARLOW. And if he has, I fhould be the last man in the world that would attempt to corrupt it. HASTINGS. You have taken care, I hope, of the casket I fent you to lock up? It's in fafety? MARLOW. Yes, yes. It's fafe enough. I have taken care of it. But how could you think the feat of a postcoach at an inn-door a place of fafety? Ah! numbfkull! I have taken better precautions for you than you did for yourself.—I have HASTINGS. What! MARLOW. I have fent it to the landlady to keep for you. HAST HASTINGS. To the landlady! MARLOW. The landlady! HASTINGS. You did? MARLOW. I did. She's to be answerable for its forth-com Yes, she'll bring it forth, with a witness. MARLOW. Wasn't I right? I believe you'll allow that I acted prudently upon this occafion? HASTINGS. (Afide) He muft not fee my uneafinefs. MARLOW. You feem a little difconcerted though, methinks. Sure nothing has happened? HASTINGS. No, nothing. Never was in better fpirits in all my life. And fo you left it with the landlady, who, no doubt, very readily undertook the charge? MARLOW. Rather too readily. For fhe not only kept the cafket; but, through her great precaution, was going to keep the messenger too. Ha ha! ha! HASTINGS. He! he he! They're fafe however. MAR MARLOW. As a guinea in a mifer's purse. HASTINGS. Afide) So now all hopes of fortune are at an end, and we must fet off without it. (To him) Well, Charles, I'll leave you to your meditations on the pretty bar-maid, and, he! he! he! may you be as fuccefsful for yourself as you have been for me. [Exit. MARLOW. Thank ye, George! I ask no more. ha! Enter HARDCASTLE. HARDCASTLE. I no longer know my own house. Ha! ha! It's turned all topfey-turvey. His fervants have got drunk already. I'll bear it no longer, and yet, from my refpect for his father, I'll be calm. (To him) Mr. Marlow, your fervant. I'm your very humble fervant. MARLOW. [Bowing low. What's to Sir, your humble fervant. (Afide) be the wonder now? HARDCASTLE. I believe, Sir, you must be fenfible, Sir, that no man alive ought to be more welcome than your father's fon, Sir. I hope you think fo? MAR MARLOW. I do from my foul, Sir. I don't want much in treaty. I generally make my father's fon welcome. wherever he goes. HARDCASTLE. I believe you do, from my foul, Sir. But though I fay nothing to your own conduct, that of your fervants is unfufferable. Their manner of drinking is fetting a very bad example in this houfe, I affure you. MARLOW. I protest, my very good Sir, that is no fault of mine. If they don't drink as they ought they are to blame. I ordered them not to fpare the cellar. I did, I affure you. (To the fide fcene) Here, let one of my fervants come up. (To him) My positive directions were, that as I did not drink myself, they fhould make up for my deficiencies below. HARDCASTLE. Then they had your orders for what they do! I'm fatisfied! You, Jeremy! Come forward, firrah! What were my orders? Were you not told to drink freely, and and call for what you thought fit, for the good of the house? HARDCASTLE. (Afide) I begin to lofe my patience. JEREMY. Please your honour, liberty and Fleet-ftreet for ever! Though I'm but a fervant, I'm as good as another man. I'll drink for no man before fupper, Sir, dammy! Good liquor will fit upon a good fupper, but a good fupper will not fit uponhiccup upon my confcience, Sir. MARLOW. You fee, my old friend, the fellow is as drunk as he can poffibly be. I don't know what you'd have more, unless you'd have the poor devil foufed in a beer barrel. HARDCASTLE. Zounds! he'll drive me diftracted if I contain myfelf any longer. Mr. Marlow. Sir; I have fubmitted to your infolence for more than four hours, and I fee no likelihood of its coming to an end. I'm now refolved to be mafter here, Sir, and I defire that you and your drunken pack may leave my houfe directly. MARLOW. Leave your house!Sure you jeft, my good friend? What, when I'm doing what I can to please you. HARD |