HARDCASTLE.

Diggory, you are too talkative. Then if I happen to fay a good thing, or tell a good story at table, you must not all burst out a-laughing, as if you made part of the company.

DIGGORY.

Then ecod your worship must not tell the ftory of ould grouse in the gun room: I can't help laughing at that he he! he!--for the foul of me. We have laughed at that these twenty years-ha! ha! ha!

HARDCASTLE.

Ha ha ha! The ftory is a good one. Well, honeft Diggory, you may laugh at that-but ftill remember to be attentive. Suppofe one of the company fhould call for a glass of wine, how will you behave? A glass of wine, Sir, if you please, (To Diggory)-Eh, why don't you move?

DIGGORY.

Ecod, your worship, I never have courage till I fee the eatables and drinkables brought upo' the table, and then I'm as bauld as a lion.

HARDCASTLE.

What, will nobody move?

FIRST SERVANT.

I'm not to leave this place.

SECOND SERVANT.

I'm fure it's no place of mine.

THIRD SERVANT.

Nor mine, for fartain.

DIGGORY.

Wauns, and I'm fure it canna be mine.

HARDCASTLE.

You numbfkulls! and fo while, like your betters, you are quarrelling for places, the guests must be ftarved. O you dunces! I find I muft begin all over again.- -But don't I hear a coach drive into the yard? To your pofts, you blockheads. I'll go in the mean time and give my old friend's fon a hearty reception at the gate. [Exit Hardcastle.

DIGGORY.

By the elevens, my place is gone quite out of my head.

ROGER.

I know that my place is to be every where.

FIRST SERVANT.

Where the devil is mine?

SECOND SERVANT.

My pleace is to be no where at all; and fo ize go about my bufinefs. [Exeunt fervants, running about as if frighted, different ways.

Enter SERVANT with Candles, fhewing in MARLOW and HASTINGS.

SERVANT.

Welcome, gentlemen, very welcome! This

way.

HAST

HASTINGS.

After the disappointments of the day, welcome once more, Charles, to the comforts of a clean room and a good fire. Upon my word, a very welllooking house; antique but creditable.

MARLOW.

The ufual fate of a large manfion. Having first ruined the mafter by good housekeeping, it at laft comes to levy contributions as an inn.

HASTINGS.

As you fay, we paffengers are to be taxed to pay all these fineries. I have often feen a good fideboard, or a marble chimney-piece, though not actually put in the bill, inflame a reckoning confoundedly.

MARLOW.

Travellers, George, must pay in all places. The only difference is, that in good inns, you pay dearly for luxuries; in bad inns, you are fleeced and ftarved.

HASTINGS.

You have lived pretty much among them. In truth, I have been often furprised, that you who have seen fo much of the world, with your natural good fenfe, and your many opportunities, could never yet acquire a requifite fhare of affurance.

MARLOW.

The Englishman's malady. But tell me, George, where could I have learned that affurance you talk

VOL. II.

M

of?

of? My life has been chiefly fpent in a college, or an inn, in feclufion from that lovely part of the creation that chiefly teach men confidence. I don't know that I was ever familiarly acquainted with a fingle modeft woman-except my mother-But among females of another clafs you know

HASTINGS.

Aye, among them you are impudent enough of all confcience.

MARLOW.

They are of us, you know.

HASTINGS.

But in the company of women of reputation I never saw such an idiot, fuch a trembler; you look for all the world as if you wanted an opportunity of ftealing out of the room.

MARLOW.

Why, man, that's because I do want to steal out of the room. Faith, I have often formed a refolution to break the ice, and rattle away at any rate. But I don't know how, a fingle glance from a pair of fine eyes has totally overfet my refolution. An impudent fellow may counterfeit modefty, but I'll be hanged if a modeft man can ever counterfeit impudence.

HASTINGS.

If you could but fay half the fine things to them that I have heard you lavish upon the bar-maid of an inn, or even a college bed-maker

MAR

MARLOW.

Why, George, I can't fay fine things to them; they freeze, they petrify me. They may talk of a comet, or a burning mountain, or some such bagatelle. But to me, a modest woman, drest out in all her finery, is the most tremendous object of the whole creation.

HASTINGS.

Ha! ha ha! At this rate, man, how can you ever expect to marry?

MARLOW.

Never, unless, as among kings and princes, my bride were to be courted by proxy. If, indeed, like an eaftern bridegroom, one were to be introduced to a wife he never faw before, it might be endured. But to go through all the terrors of a formal courtship, together with the episode of aunts, grandmothers, and coufins, and at laft to blurt out the broad staring queftion of, madam, will you mar ry me? No, no, that's a ftrain much above me, I affure you.

HASTINGS.

I pity you. But how do you intend behaving to the lady you are come down to vifit at the request of your father?

MARLOW.

As I behave to all other ladies. Bow very low. Answer yes, or no, to all her demands-But for the reft, I don't think I fhall venture to look in her face, till I fee my father's again.