your being left behind. If you locked your

bed-room door, no matter at what time, under what circumstances, or in what condition you may have retired to rest, no peace is allowed till admission is obtained. Or if, perchance, you should have omitted to secure the door by lock or bolt, to prevent intrusion, unhesitatingly he enters with his dim lantern, your boots, and shaving water, requiring you to get out of bed (or, as he humorously says, "show a leg") or give some equal evidences of your being thoroughly awake.

No better idea can be conveyed, I think, of the duty of a "boots" than the old and hackneyed remark, said to have originated with this veritable Jerry, while addressing some crony upon the relative merits of his employers' and his own labour, when he said, alluding to commercial men-"They eats, they drinks, they sleeps, they never works! happy beggars! I carries all their samples, posts all their letters, and does all their banking business. Happy beggars! they never works!"

AN OFFENSIVE "TROTTING" SPECIMEN-MR.

JOHN CHAFFER.

JOHN Chaffer here, still "going the whole hog," and giving way to his old propensities. When will he learn wisdom? How long will society bear to be tormented with his unmeaning repetitions, and unwise saws? Will they for ever be tolerated; or will he not himself see the necessity of putting on the man, and forsaking his boyish tricks?

How much to be regretted it is, that his assurance is not aided by the ability to see through the shallowness of his proceedings as others see through and are disgusted with it. If he reflect at all, what a poor consolation it must afford him, should success attend his frivolous and vexatious aim to render a young and inexperienced man unhappy, by putting a chain of rude and impudent questions, which only his modesty as a junior permits him to answer. Indeed nothing can be more contemptible than the affectation of being witty or facetious at the expense of any one not upon equality with yourself, either in years, appearance, or understanding, or gratifying an idle inclination by laughing at or ridiculing the

weakness or infirmities of others by way of diverting a company. There cannot be a greater cruelty or ferocity, or anything more degrading to a man, than, merely with a view of displaying his own superiority, his putting upon, or taking unbecoming liberties with, one whose humility or respectful feeling will not allow him to retaliate. Instead of any mixed company's deriving pleasure from such a procedure, they will conceive a disgust for any man who can afford thus cheaply to trifle with the feelings of an inoffensive individual; considering that no longer a joke which is indelicate and indecent, howsoever it may be associated with wit and humour; for society, as a body, is more sympathetic, or more bold to speak out, than individuals; and the probability is, as I have often seen, that it will rather laugh at the jester than at him upon whom an unseemly jest is made.

The jester runs the risk of making many enemies; for nothing can so offend a man whom you may perchance be often meeting as "trotting" him upon a first acquaintance. Above all other things in the world, he cannot pardon a liberty taken thus with his inexperience, but will maintain through life an embittered feeling of hatred towards the perpetrator of the affront, which no after forbearance or

explanation can atone for. The day for such unmanly trifling has passed away. By men in possession of their right senses it is generally repudiated; while noble minds treat it with the contempt it merits, as the offspring of a puerile, uninstructed, feeble intellect, having nothing else to fall back upon. Wit of this contracted nature is, nevertheless, very often dangerous in its results, since it occasionally enables men to play the ape with greater confidence. But a proper value is placed upon their buffoonery. There is no creature, indeed, so troublesome and contemptible as one of these silly individuals, who, in the poverty of his soul, can be thus amused and struck exceedingly with affairs of utter insignificance; finding occasion to be captious or delighted about trifles, while possessing only the single talent of talking overmuch, and aiming at the possession of others to which in reality they have not the slightest pretension; always, however, giving utterance to an abundance of words without positively saying anything.

Such persons are never to be depended upon as friends, either, not even by those whom they are pleased to denominate such, howsoever close their alliances may seem to be, through social and convivial meetings, for no one can tell when they are sincere.

The man who will strain every nerve to practise upon the credulity of his associate, affecting an air of sincerity, presuming upon his good nature while endeavouring to undermine his reputation, by uttering in the presence of strangers (although playfully) that for amusement which is untrue, and uncalled for, does him and society an injury irreparable. And howsoever acceptable such a person may for a short time be to a small circle, as a mimic or a wag, being a fair bottle companion, incessantly repeated exposure of his small stock will soon tire even the most indulgent auditory.

Like

a piece of mechanism, he has his prescribed limits, soon runs himself out, and then requires winding up to a certain pitch by stimulants, that he may commence anew the accustomed round. Can anything be imagined more absurd? How opposed to the habits and practices of a genuine business man is such folly, to give it no harsher a term! What can he be thinking of? Or does he ever think at all? If not, let me tell him that the world at large thinks for him or at least his own immediate circle-and does not fail to put a proper estimate upon his conduct and character, stamping him at once as little better than a buffoon, who is continually by his antics and remarks exciting a broad grin, grinning himself the while, the Merry Andrew of a company.