how say'st thou, that thy master is become a notable lover? Laun. I never knew him otherwise. Laun. A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be. Speed. Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistak est me. Laun. Why, fool, I meant not thee: I meant thy master. Speed. I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover. Laun. Why I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself in love. If thou wilt go with me to the ale house, so; if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian. Fie, fie, unreverend tongue! to call her bad, Whose sovereignty so oft thou hast preferr'd With twenty thousand soul-confirming oaths. I cannot leave to love, and yet I do; But there I leave to love, where I should love. If I keep them, I needs must lose myself; Love, lend me wings to make my purpose swift, [Exit. SCENE VII-Verona.—A Room in JULIA'S House. Enter JULIA and LUCETTA. Jul Counsel, Lucetta; gentle girl, assist me ! And, even in kind love, I do conjure thee,Who art the table wherein all my thoughts Are visibly character'd and engrav'd,-To lesson me; and tell me some good mean, How, with my honour, I may undertake A journey to my loving Proteus. Luc. Alas! the way is wearisome and long. Pity the dearth that I have pined in, it burns; The current, that with gentle murmur glides, Thou know's, being stopp'd, impatiently doth rage; But, when his fair course is not hindered, Luc. But in what habit will you go along? hair. Jul. No, girl; I'll knit it up in silken strings, With twenty odd-conceited true-love knots: To be fantastic may become a youth Of greater time than I shall show to be. Luc. What fashion, madam, shall I make your breeches? Jul. That fits as well, as-" tell me, good my lord, "What compass will you wear your farthingale?" [cetta Why, even that fashion thou best lik'st, Lu Luc. You must needs have them with a cod piece, madam. Jul. Out, out, Lucetta! that will be ill-fa vour'd. Luc. A round hose, madam, now's not worth For undertaking so unstaid a journey? I fear me, it will make me scandaliz'd. Luc. If you think so, then stay at home, and And so, unworthily, disgrace the man, me? Pro. My gracious lord, that which I would discover, The law of friendship bids me to conceal: Being unprevented, to your timeless grave. care; Which to requite, command me while I live. This love of theirs myself have often seen, Haply, when they have judged me fast asleep; And oftentimes have purpos'd to forbid ♦ Longed for, Sir Valentine her company, and my court: Pro. Know, noble lord, they have devis'd a mean How he her chamber-window will ascend, That I had any light from thee of this. Enter VALENTINE. Duke. Sir Valentine, whither away so fast? Val. Please it your grace there is a messenger That stays to bear my letters to my friends, And I am going to deliver them. Duke. Be they of much import? Val. The tenor of them doth but signify I am to break with thee of some affairs, secret. "Tis not unknown to thee, that I have sought To match my friend, Sir Thurio, to my daughter. Val. I know it well, my lord; and, sure, the match [man Were rich and honourable; besides, the gentleBeseeming such a wife as your fair daughter: Is full of virtue, bounty, worth, and qualities Cannot your grace win her to fancy him? Duke. No, trust me; she is peevish, sullen, froward, Neither regarding that she is my child, And turn her out to who will take her in : in this? Whom I affect; but she is nice, and coy, Val. Win her with gifts, if she respect not words; Val. A woman sometimes scorns what best contents her: Send her another; never give her o'er; graces; Though ne'er so black, say, they have angels' faces. That man that hath a tongue, I say, is no man, If with his tongue he cannot win a woman. Duke. But she, I mean, is promis'd by her friends Unto a youthful gentleman of worth; Duke. Ay, but the doors be lock'd, and keys kept safe, That no man hath recourse to her by night. Val. What lets, but one may enter at her window ? Duke. Her chamber is aloft, far from the ground; And built so shelving that one cannot climb it Without apparent hazard of his life. Val. Why then, a ladder, quaintly made of cords, To cast up with a pair of anchoring hooks, me that. Duke. This very night; for love is like a child, That longs for every thing that he can come by. Val. By seven o'clock I'll get you such a ladder. Duke. But, hark thee; I will go to her alone; How shall I best convey the ladder thither? Val. It will be light, my lord, that you may bear it Under a cloak, that is of any length. Duke. A cloak as long as thine will serve the turn? Val. Ay, my good lord. Duke. Then let me see thy cloak; I'll get me one of such another length. Val. Why, any cloak will serve the turn, my lord. Duke. How shall I fashion me to wear a cloak ? thee? Go, base intruder! overweening slave! Will give thee time to leave our royal court, To die, is to be banish'd from myself; Enter PROTEUS and LAUNCE. Pro. Run, boy, run, run, and seek him out. Pro. What seest thou? Laun. Him we go to find: there's not a hair on's head, but 'tis a Valentine. Pro. Valentine? Val. No. Pro. Who then? his spirit? Val. Neither. Pro. What then? Val. Nothing. Laun. Can nothing speak? master, shall I strike? Pro. Whom would'st thou strike? Laun. Nothing. Pro. Villain, forbear. Laun. Why, Sir, I'll strike nothing: I pray So much of bad already hath possess'd them. Pro. Then in dumb silence will I bury mine, For they are harsh, untunable, and bad. Val. Is Silvia dead? Pro. No, Valentine. Val. No Valentine, indeed, for sacred SilHath she forsworn me? [via Pro. No, Valentine. Val. No Valentine, if Silvia have forsworn What is your news? [me!Laun. Sir, there's a proclamation that you are vanish'd. Pre. That thou art banished, O, that's the news; [friend. From hence, from Silvia, and from me thy Val. O, I have fed upon this woe already, And now excess of it will make me surfeit. Doth Silvia know that I am banished? Pro. Ay, ay; and she hath offer'd to the doom, (Which, unrevers'd, stands in effectual force,) A sea of melting pearl, which some call tears: Those at her father's churlish feet she tender'd; With them, upon her knees, her humble self; Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became them, As if but now they waxed pale for woe: Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire; Have some malignant power upon my life: Pro. Cease to lament for that thou canst not help, And study help for that which thou lament'st. Here if thou stay, thou canst not see thy love; tine. Val. O my dear Silvia! hapless Valentine! [Exeunt VALENTINE and PROTEUS. Laun. I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to think, my master is a kind of a knave: but that's all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now, that knows me to be in love: yet I am in love; but a team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who 'tis I love, and yet 'tis a woman: but that woman, I will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milk-maid: yet 'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips: yet 'tis a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel,-which is much in a bare Christian. Here is a cat-log [Pulling out a pa- | * Grief. per] of her conditions. Imprimis, She can fetch and carry. Why, a horse can do no more; nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only carry; therefore, is she better than a jade. Item, She can milk; look you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands. Enter SPEED. Speed. How now, signior Launce? what news with your mastership? Laun. With my master's ship? why, it is at sea. Speed. Well, your old vice still; mistake the word: What news then in your paper? Laun. The blackest news that ever thou heard'st. Speed. Why, man, how black? Laun. Fie on thee, jolt-head; thou can'st not read. Speed. Thou lies!, I can. Laun. I will try thee: Tell me this: Who begot thee? Speed. Marry, the son of my grandfather. Laun. O illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thy grandmother: this proves, that thou canst not read. Speed. Come, fool, come; try me in thy paper. Laun. There; and saint Nicholas be thy speed! Speed. Imprimis, She can milk. Laun. Ay, that she can. Speed. Item, She brews good ale. Laun. And therefore comes the proverb,Blessing of your heart, you brew good ale. Speed. Item, She can sew. Laun. That's as much as to say, Can she so? Speed. Item, She can knit. Laun. What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when she can knit him a stock. Speed. Item, She can wash and scour. Laun. A special virtue; for then she need not be washed and scoured. Speed. Item, She can spin. Laun. Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can spin for her living. Speed. Item, She hath many nameless virtues. Laun. That's as much as to say, bastard virtues; that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore have no names. Speed. Here follow her vices. Laun. Close at the heels of her virtues. Speed. Item, She is not to be kissed fasting, in respect of her breath. Laun. Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast: Read on. Speed. Item, She hath a sweet mouth. Laun. That makes amends for her sour breath, Speed. Item, She doth talk in her sleep. Laun. It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk. Speed. Item, She is slow in words. Laun. O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words, is a woman's only virtue: I pray thee, out with't; and place it for her chief virtue. Speed. Item, She is proud. Laun. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot be ta'en from her. Speed. Item, She hath no teeth. Laun. I care not for that neither, because I love crusts. Speed. Item, She is curst. Laun. Well; the best is, she hath no teeth to bite. *St. Nicholas presided over young scholars. Speed. Item, She will often praise her liquor. Laun. If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I will; for good things should be praised. Speed. Item, She is too liberal.* Laun. Of her tongue she cannot; for that's writ down she is slow of: of her purse she shall not; for that I'll keep shut: now, of another thing she may; and that I cannot help. Well, proceed. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults. Laun. Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article: Rehearse that once more. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit,Laun. More hair than wit,-it may be; I'll prove it: The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit, is more than the wit; for the greater hides the less. What's next? Speed. And more faults than hairs,Lann. That's monstrous: O, that that were out! Speed. And more wealth than faults. Laun. Why, that word makes the faults gracious: Well, I'll have her and if it be a match, as nothing is impossible,→ Speed. What then? Pro. I do, my lord. Duke. And also, I think, thou art not ignorant How she opposes her against my will. Pro. She did, my lord, when Valentine was here. Duke. Ay, and perversely she persévers so. What might we do, to make the girl forget The love of Valentine, and love Sir Thurio? Pro. The best way is to slander Valentine Pro. Ay, if his enemy deliver it: Pro. And that, my lord, I shall be loath to do: Duke. Where your good word cannot advan- Your slander never can endamage him; Pro. You have prevailed, my lord: if I can Laun. Why, then I will tell thee,-that thy She shall not long continue love to him. master stays for thee at the north-gate, Speed. For me? Laun. For thee? ay; who art thou? he hath staid for a better man than thee. Speed. And must I go to him? Laun. Thou must run to him, for thou hast staid so long, that going will scarce serve the turn. Speed. Why didst not tell me sooner; 'pox of your love-letters! [Exit. Laun. Now will he be swinged for reading my letter: An unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into secrets!-I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correction. [Exit. SCENE II.--The same.-A Room in the DUKE'S Paluce. Enter DUKE and THURIO; PROTEUS behind. love you, Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure Duke. My daughter takes his going griev- Pro. A little time, my lord, will kill that grief. SO. Proteus, the good conceit I hold of thee, The match between Sir Thurio and my daughter. * Licentious in language, + Graceful But say, this weed her love from Valentine, Duke. And, Proteus, we dare trust you in Because we know, on Valentine's report, Pro. As much as I can do, I will effect :- poesy. Pro. Say, that upon the altar of her beauty Visit by night your lady's chamber-window silence Will well become such sweet complaining |