. Our Cumberland's' sweet-bread its place shall ob tain, And Dougląs? is pudding, substantial and plain : Our Garrick’so a salad; for in him we see Oil, vinegar, sugar, and saltness agree: To make out the dinner, full certain I am That Ridge' is anchovy, and Reynoldsis lamb; That Hickey's6 a capon, and, by the same rule, Magnanimous Goldsmith, a gooseberry fool. At a dinner so various, at such a repast, Who'd not be a glutton, and stick to the last? Here, waiter, more wine, let me sit while I'm able, Till all my companions sink under the table; 1 Mr. Richard Cumberland, author of the West Indian, Fashionable Lover, The Brothers, and other dramatic pieces. 2 Dr. Douglas, canon of Windsor, an ingenious Scotch gentleman, who has no less distinguished bimself as a citizen of the world, than a sound critic, in detecting several literary mistakes (or rather forgeries) of his countrymen; particularly Lauder on Milton, and Bower's History of the Popes. 3 David Garrick, Esq. 4 Counsellor John Ridge, a gentleman belonging to the Irish bar. 5 Sir Joshua Reynolds. 6 An eminent attorney. Then, with chaos and blunders encircling my head, Let'me ponder, and tell what I think of the dead. · Here lies the good dean, re-united to earth, Who mixt reason with pleasure, and wisdom with mirth : If he had any faults, he has left us in doubt, At least, in six weeks I could not find them out; Yet some have declar'd, and it can't be denied 'em, That sly-boots was cursedly cunning to hide 'em. Here lies our good Edmund, whose genius was such, We scarcely can praise it, or blame it too much; Who, born for the universe, narrow'd his mind, And to party gave up what was meant for mankind: Though fraught with all learning, yet straining his throat To persuade Tommy Townshend' to lend him a vote; Who, too deep for his hearers, still went on refining, And thought of convincing, while they thought of dining; Though equal to all things, for all things unfit; Too nice for a statesman, too proud for a wit; 1 Mr. T. Townshend, Member for Whitchurch. , For a patriot too cool; for a drudge disobedient; And too fond of the right to pursue the expedient. In short, 'twas his fate, unemploy'd, or in place, sir, To eat mutton cold, and cut blocks with a razor. Here lies honest William, whose heart was a mint, While the owner ne'er knew half the good that was in't; The pupil of impulse, it fore'd him along, His conduct still right, with his argument wrong; Still aiming at honour, yet fearing to roam, The coachman was tipsy, the chariot drove home; Would you ask for his merits? alas! he had none; What was good was spontaneous, his faults were his own. Here lies honest Richard', whose fate I must sigh at; Alas! that such frolic should now be so quiet! What spirits were his! what wit and what whim! Now breaking a jest, and now breaking a limb! 1 Mr. Richard Burke. This guntleman having slightly fractured one of his arms and legs, at different times, the Doctor has rallied him on those accidents, as a kind of retributive justice for breaking his jests upon other people. Now wrangling and grumbling to keep up the ball! Here Cumberland lies, having acted his parts, Quite sick of pursuing each troublesome elf, Here Douglas retires from his toils to relax, The scourge of impostors, the terror of quacks : Come, all ye quack bards, and ye quacking divines, Come, and dance on the spot where your tyrant reclines: When satire and censure encircled his throne, I fear'd for your safety, I fear'd for my own; But now he is gone, and we want a detector, Our Dodds' shall be pious,our Kenricks'shall lecture; Macpherson’ write bombast, and call it a style; OurTownshend make speeches, and I shall compile; New Lauders and Bowers the Tweed shall cross over, No countryman living their tricks to discover; Detection her taper shall quench to a spark, And Scotchman meet Scotchman, and cheat in the dark. 1 The Rev. Dr. Dodd. % Dr. Kenrick, who read lectures at the Devil tavern, under the title of “ The School of Shakspeare.” 3 James Macpherson, Esq. who lately, from the mere force of his style, wrote down the first poet of all antiquity. |