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Mm Als. Why, Lord Gayville is at the bottom.— And your hussy, that you was so sweet upon this morning, is at the bottom; a treacherous minx !—I sent her only for a little innocent diversion, as my double
Alscrip. Your what?
Miss Als. Why, my double, to vex him.
Alscrip. Double! this.is the most useless attendant you have had yet.—'Gad, I'll start you single-handed in the art of vexation, against any ten women in England!
Miss Als. I caught them, just as I did you, with your
Alscrip. Is that all? 'Gad, I don't see much in that.
Miss Als. Not much ?—What a woman of my fortune and accomplishments, turned of—rejected—renounced
Alscrip. How! renounced ?—Has he broke the contract? Will you prove he has broke the contract?
Miss Als. Ay. Now, my dear papa, you take a tone that becomes you; now the blood of the Alscrips rises; — rises as it ought; you mean to fight him directly, don't you?
Alscrip. O yes, I'm his man—I'll show you a lawyer's challenge, sticks and staves, guns, swords, daggers, poniards, knives, scissars, and bodkins. I'll put more weapons into a bit of paper, six inches square, than would stock the armoury of the Tower.
Miss Als. Pistols! Don't talk to me of any thing but pistols,—my dear papa, who shall be your second?
Alscrip. I'll have two John Doe and Richard Roe
as pretty fellows as any in England to see fair
play, and as used to the differences of good company.—
They shall greet him with their fieri facias So don't
be cast down, Molly, I'll answer for damages, to indemnify our loss of temper and reputation—he shall have a lie-fa before to-morrow night.
Miss Als. Fiery faces and damages—What does your 50
Westminster-hall gibberish mean? Are a woman's feelings to be satisfied with a fie-fa—you old insensible—y»u have no sense of family honour—no tender
Alscrip. 'Gad, you have enough for us both, when you want your father to be shot through the head— but stand out of the way, here's a species of family honour more necessary to be taken care of. If we were to go to law, this would be a precious set-off against us. [Takes up the deed, as if to lock it up.] This—why, what the devil—I hope I don't see clear.—Curse and confusion! I have given the wrong one. Here's fine work—here's a blunder—here's the effect of a woman's impetuosity.
Miss Als. Lord, what a fuss you are in: what is in the old trumpery scroll}
Alscrip. Plague and parchment, old Rightly will find what's in it, if I don't interrupt him—Mr. Rightly—
Mr. Rightly—Mr. Rightly
[Going to the door Rightly went out at. Enter Servant. Serv. Sir, Mr. Rightly is gone. Alscrip. Gone! whither?
Serv. Home, I believe, sir He came out at the
door into the hall, and he bade me tell your honour, you might depend upon his reading over the deed with particular care.
Alscrip. Fire and fury! my hat and cane—[Exit Servant J—Here, my hat and cane. [Stamps about.
Miss Als. Sir, I expect before you come home
Alscrip. Death and devils! expect to be ruined
This comes of listening to you The sex hold the
power of mischief by prescription Zounds !—Mischief—mischief—is the common law of womankind.
[Exit in a rage.
Miss Als. Mercy on us—I never saw him more provoked, even when my mother was alive! [Exit. ACT IV.
Scene I.—Alscrip's Room.
Chignon. Que (liable veut dire tout ca vat devil
all dis mean ?—Monsieur Alscrip enrage Mademoiselle Alscrip fly about like de dancing fury at de Opera —My littel musicienne shut up, and, in de absence
of madame, I keep de key of de littel bastille By
gad, I vou'd rader have de custody of my pretty pri
soniere than the whole college of cardinals But vat
have we here?
Enter Sir Clement and Clifford.
Sir C. [Speaking to a Servant.] Mr. Alscrip not at
home; no matter, we'll wait his return The French
valet de chambre [7b Clifford.]—It may be of use to make acquaintance with him—Monsieur, how do you like this country?
Chignon. Ver good contree, sire, by and by—when you grow a little more poor.
Sir C. Is that a Parisian rule for improvement?
Chignon. Yes, sir, and we help you to follow our example.—In good times, you bang and you drown— In bad time, you will be like us—alway poor—alway gay—forget your politics—laugh at your grievancestake your snuff, vive la dissipation,—ver good country.
Sir C. Thanks for your kind advice, monsieur; you Frenchmen are so obliging, and so communicative to
strangers I hear there is a young lady come into
this family—we don't exactly know in what capacity— could not you contrive that she should pass through this room —or
Chignon. [Aside.] By gar here be one more old rake after de littel musicienne.
Sir C. Only for curiosity,—we never saw her, and have particular reasons [Gives money.
Chignon. Ma foi, your reasons be ver expressive.— [Aside.] But vat devil shall I do—open the cage of my little Rosignol—my pretty nightingale—No, Chignon—
no—[Looking out.] Ah, hah; La Tiffany Now for
de politique be-gar I undertake your business—and
make you de dupe of de performance.
[Exit, with a sign to Sir Clement.
Sir C. So—Clifford—There goes as disinterested a fellow now as any in Europe. But hark you—Can you yet guess the purpose for which I brought you here?
Cliff. I profess, sir, I am in the dark. If it concerns Lord Gayville's secret
Sir C. Namely, that this dnlcinea has started up in the shape of Miss Alscrip's musical companion—her name is Alton. [Leering.] I tell it to you, because I am sure you are not acquainted with it.
Cliff'. Sir, you will not know me
Sir C. Tut, tut, don't do me such injustice Come,
all delicacy being over by my having made the discovery, will you talk to this girl?
Cliff. For what end, sir?
Sir C. If you state yourself as Lord Gayville's friend, she will converse with you more readily than she would with me.—Try her—find out what she is really at. If she has no hold upon him but her person, I shall be easy.
Cliff. Sir, let my compliance convince you how much I wish to oblige you. If I can get a sight of this wonder, I promise to give you my faithful opinion of my friend's danger.
Enter Chignon, and makes a sign to Sir Clement, that the person he inquired after is coming. Sir C. Leave her with this gentleman Come, monsieur, you shall show me the new room. [Exit.
Chignon. [Aside.] Vid dis gentleman ?—Vid all my heart—La Tiffany vill answer his purpose, and mine too. [Exit.
[clifford is looking at the furniture of the room.
Tiff'. What docs the Frenchman mean by gentlemen wanting me, and his gibberish of making soft eyes ?— I hope I know the exercise of my eyes, without his instruction Hah! I vow, a clever-looking man.
Cliff'. 'Faith, a pretty attracting countenance—but for that apprehensive and timid look—that awe-impressing modesty, my friend so forcibly described. [tiffany
adjusts herself, and pulls up.] [Aside.] Her silence
marks diffidence; deuce take me if I know how to begin, for fear of offending he.- reserve.
Tiff. [Aside.] I have been told pertness became me —I'll try, I'm resolv'd. [To him.] I hear, sir, you had something to say to a young person in this house—that 1—that—[Looking down at the same time archl./ ] I could not but take the description to myself—I am ready to hear any thing a gentleman has to say.
Cliff'. [Aside.] Thank my stars, my scruples are relieved!
Tiff. Am I mistaken, sir? Pray, whom was you inquiring after?
Cliff. Oh! certainly you, my pretty stranger. A friend of mine has been robbed of his heart, and I see the felony in your looks. Will you confess, or must I arrest you r
Tiff. Innocent, sir, in fact, but not quite so in inclination—I hope your own is safe?
Cliff. And were it not, my smart unconscionable, would you run away with that also?'
Tiff. Oh, yes, and a hundred more; and melt them all down together, as the Jews do stolen goods, to prevent their being reclaimed.
VOl. IV. «