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been at my banker's, and jolting all over the detestable city. Defend me! why your head is dressed so barbarously, Lady Flutter, you look like ten furies; by my life, an absolute Medusa; pr'ythee who gave thee that formidable appearance, child?
Lady Flut. I am sorry you don't like it, Sir Harry; I'll not employ that Frenchman any more.
Sir H Flut. Then I am sure you don't like it yourself; for Sir Harry's judgment has not the happiness of having any great weight with you.
Lady Flut. No, I protest I think it quite becoming and genteel.
Lady M. Then it must be to oblige you, Sir Harry.
Sir H. Flut. Undoubtedly, ma'am, that's her study.
Lady Flut. Upon my word, Sir Harry, I would make it so, if you would let me.
Sir H. Flut. My dear! say that over again, pray; it sounds vastly pretty, if it were but true.
Lady Flut. Why then, seriously, I would rather dress to please you than any body.
Sir H. Flut. Harkye, Lady Flutter, irony is a mightv ticklish weapon, and you' handle it very awkwardly, upon my soul; lay it by, or you'll cut your fingers.
Lady Flut. I declare and vow I am in earnest. - Sir H. Flut. Oh, dear ma'am, your most obedient— but you're a bungler, take my word for it.
Lady M. But, Sir Harry, why should you doubt that Lady Flutter is serious?
Sir H. Flut. Why really, ma'am, because I never knew Lady Flutter serious in any thing, but her endeavours to make herself disagreeable to me.
Lady M. In which I fancy, however, she has not succeeded, Sir Harry.
Lady Flut. If that be the case, then, I am resolved to take another course, and try what my endeavours to please him will do.
Lady M. What do you say to that, Sir Harry?
Sir H. Flut. Say! 'gad, I don't well know what to say to it. There is something devilish pleasant in hearing her talk so, if the humour would but last.
Lady M. Take my word for it, Sir Harry, it will be your own fault if it does not.
SirH. Flut. Faith, ma'am, I should be glad to keep up the ball as long as I could.
Lady Flut. Indeed, indeed, Sir Harry, I will never quarrel with you again.
Sir H. Flut. Upon your honour.
Lady Flut. Upon my honour.
Sir H. Flut. Nor I with you, upon my soul—And shall we grow fond of one another? Lady Flut. Immensely.
Sir H. Flut. Agreed—I'll never find fault with any thing you do.
Lady Flut. Nor I with any thing you say.
Sir H. Flut. I'll never contradict you.
Lady Flut. Nor I you.
Sir H. Flut. Sweet rogue!
Lady Flut. My dear Sir Harry!
[He takes her hand and kisses it.
Lady M. Well, now is not this charming? I congratulate you both on your happiness, and leave you to the enjoyment of it. [Exit Lady Medway.
Sir H. Flut. Deuce take me but I should think you prodigious agreeable, if you were always in good humour.
Lady Flut. And, upon my life, I should think the lame of you.
Sir H. Flut. How came we not to discover this sooner?
Lady Flut. Because we never tried to find it out. Lady Medway was the first that told me we might be happy if we pleased.
Sir H. Flut. Faith, then, she has more sagacity than my lord; for he was of a contrary opinion, and used to pity me of all things. ..
Lady Flut. For what?
Sir H. Flut. For being married to you.
Lady Flut. Really!
Sir H. Flut. Truth, upon my word.
Lady Flut. I see his treachery. [Aside.]—Then, Sir Harry, I will convince him of his error, by making the best wife in the world, in spite of him.
Sir H. Flut. Charming creature! I shall grow too fond of you—I won't let you be so engaging, hussy
Lady Flut. You shall, though
Enter Lord Medwav, who stops on seeing Sir Harry.
Sir H. Flut. Pray, my lord, come in—I have a sad complaint to make to you. This is certainly the most perverse girl
Lord M. Oh, Sir Harry, this is the old story—I won't hear what you have to say.
Sir if. Flut. But, my lord, this is a new, a quite spick and span new affair. She has taken such a resolution!
Lord M. Not to part, I hope I
Sir H. Flut. No, no, my lord, a much stranger thing.
Lord M. Ay! what can that be?
Sir H. Flut. You will be amazed when I tell you—
We were disputing about it when you came in
. Lord M. I am sorry, Sir Harry, to find you always in disputes with your lady. I wish, from my heart, I could compose your differences
Sir H. Flut. Oh, she is the very spirit of contradiction, my lord.
Lady Flut. Depend upon it, Sir Harry, I'll have my own way in this.
Lord M. And in every thing else, I'll be sworn.
[Aside to Sir Harry.
Sir H. Flut. You must not.
Lord M. That's right. [Aside to Lady Flutter.]— What's the matter in debate?
Sir H. Flut. Why, my lord, 'tis the oddest thing in the world: she is resolved, right or wrong, in spite of all I can say—to be very good—and make me love her whether I will or not Don't you think that is monstrously-provoking?
Lady Flut. And he, my lord, has taken up as unaccountable a design—of never contradicting me in any thing Is not that as provoking?
Sir H. Flut. A'n't we a couple of fools, my lord?
Lord M. Why really, Sir Harry—if this could be— I cannot say—I am sure I sincerely wish to see you both on good terms—and if you have found out a way —with all my heart. . .
[sir Harry Flutter and Lady Flutter both burst out a laughing.
Lord M. I am glad to see you so merry, my young
gentry—I wish it may last, that's all. Sir Harry, I
have a word to say to you—Why, you are undone, man, if once you let her turn matters to ridicule.
[Aside to Sir Harry Flutter.
Sir H. Flut. Oh, my lord, you are quite mistaken— all this is serious. [Aside to Lord Medway.
Lady Flut. Come, I'll have no plotting.
Lord M. Poh! poh! she will get the better of you, I see. [Aside to Sir Harry Flutter.]—Let me speak to her Lady Flutter! [Advances towards her.
Lady Flut. The tables are turned, my lord; I'll whisper with nobody but Sir Harry.
Lord M. But two words When shall we meet?
Lady Flut. Never. [Aside to Lord Medway.]—Sir Harry, now that you intend to be very fond of me, I desire that you will grow a little jealous, and tell my lord, that he must not come into my dressing-room in a morning.
Sir H. Flut. Faith, my lord, that's true; I begin not to relish the Spartan scheme as well as I did.
Lord M. Mighty fine! This is an extraordinary metamorphosis, if it holds—but of that I own I have some doubt.
Lady Flat. You need not fear, my lord—We have your good wishes that it should, I know.
Lord M. That's home. [Aside.
Lady Flut. Come, Sir Harry, I want to go to an auction this morning; will you be so good as to give me your company?
Sir H. Flut. With all my heart, my dear, I'll attend you; and see here, I received all this to-day. [ Takes out a purse, which she snatches from him.] Ob, you little plunderer! give me a kiss for it—I'll have another
Lady Flut. Go, you extortioner! Day, day, my lord. [They go out romping together.
Lord M. What can be the meaning of all this ?— D—ned little coquette—So much art at her years !—or is it owing to my wife's interposition?—Yet she knew
not of my design. Any way, I am ashamed to be
baffled so ridiculously.—And that puppy, Sir Harry, too
Enter a Servant. Sere. Sir Anthony Branville's come to wait on your lordship.
Lord M. Show him into my study.—Here's another fool, that don't know his own mind; bat I'll fix him one way or other, if I can.
Scene II.—Changes to Lord Medway's Study.
Enter Sir Anthony Branville and Lord Medway meeting.
Lord M. Sir Anthony, I am glad to see you; I was really in great pain for you yesterday, when I was