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Act V. men. Here's Agamemnon,-an honest fellow enough, and one that loves quails*; but he has not so much brain as ear-wax: And the goodly transformation of Jupiter there, his brother, the bull,-the primitive statue, and oblique memorial of cuckolds t; a thrifty shoeing-horn in a chain, hanging at his brother's leg, -to what form, but that he is, should wit larded with malice, and malice forced with wit, turn him to? To an ass, were nothing; he is both ass and ox: to an ox, were nothing; he is both ox and ass. To be a dog, a mule, a cat, a fitchew§, a toad, a lizard, an owl, a puttock, or a herring without a roe, I would not care: but to be Menelaus,-I would conspire against destiny. Ask me not what I would be, if I were not Thersites; for I care not to be the louse of a lazar, so I were not Menelaus.Hey day! spirits and fires!

Enter Hector, Troilus, Ajax, Agamemnon, Ulysses,
Nestor, Menelaus, and Diomed, with lights.

Agam. We go wrong, we go wrong.
Ajax.

There, where we see the lights.

Hect.

No, yonder 'tis;

I trouble you.

Here comes himself to guide you.

Ajax. No, not a whit.

Ulyss.

Enter Achilles.

Achil. Welcome, brave Hector; welcome, princes

all.

Agam. So now, fair prince of Troy, I bid good night.

Ajax commands the guard to tend on you.

Hect. Thanks, and good night, to the Greeks' ge

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Hect.

Good night, sweet Menelaus.

Ther. Sweet draught: Sweet, quoth 'a! sweet

sink, sweet sewer.

Achil. Good night,

And welcome, both to those that go, or tarry.
Agam. Good night.

[Exeunt Agamemnon and Menelaus. Achil. Old Nestor tarries; and you too, Diomed, Keep Hector company an hour or two.

Dio. I cannot, lord; I have important business, The tide whereof is now.-Good night, great Hector. Hect. Give me your hand.

Ulyss.

To Calchas' tent; I'll keep you company.

Follow his torch, he goes

[Aside to Troilus.

And so good night.

Tro. Sweet sir, you honour me.

Hect.

[Exit Diomed; Ulysses and Troilus following.

Achil. Come, come, enter my tent.

[Exeunt Achilles, Hector, Ajax, and Nestor. Ther. That same Diomed's a false-hearted rogue, a most unjust knave; I will no more trust him when he leers, than I will a serpent when he hisses: he will spend his mouth, and promise, like Brabler the hound; but when he performs, astronomers foretell it; it is prodigious †, there will come some change; the sun borrows of the moon, when Diomed keeps his word. I will rather leave to see Hector, than not to dog him: they say, he keeps a Trojan drab, and uses the traitor Calchas' tent: I'll after. -Nothing but lechery! all incontinent varlets!

[Exit.

• Privy.

Portentous, ominous,

SCENE II.

The same. Before Calchas's tent.

Enter Diomedes.

Dio. What, are you up here, ho? speak.
Cal. [Within.] Who calls?

Dio. Diomed.-Calchas, I think.-Where's your daughter?

Cal. [Within.] She comes to you.

Enter Troilus and Ulysses, at a distance; after them Thersites.

Ulyss. Stand where the torch may not discover us.

Enter Cressida.

Tro. Cressid come forth to him!

Dio.

How now, my charge?

Cres. Now, my sweet guardian!-Hark! a word

with you.

Tro. Yea, so familiar!

[Whispers.

Ulyss. She will sing any man at first sight.

Ther. And any man may sing her, if he can take

her cliff*; she's noted.

Dio. Will you remember?

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Nay, but do then;

And let your mind be coupled with your words.

Tro. What should she remember?

Ulyss. List!

Cres. Sweet honey Greek, tempt me no more to

folly.

* Key.

Ther. Roguery!

Dio. Nay, then,

Cres.

I'll tell you what:

Dio. Pho! pho! come, tell a pin: You are for

sworn.

Cres. In faith, I cannot: What would you have me do?

Ther. A juggling trick, to be-secretly open. Dio. What did you swear you would bestow on

me?

Cres. I pr'ythee, do not hold me to mine oath; Bid me do any thing but that, sweet Greek.

Dio. Good night.

Tro.

Ulyss.

Cres.

Hold, patience!

How now, Trojan?

Diomed,

Dio. No, no, good night: I'll be your fool no

more.

Tro. Thy better must.

Cres.

Hark! one word in your ear.

Tro. O plague and madness!

Ulyss. You are mov'd, prince; let us depart, I

pray you,

Lest your displeasure should enlarge itself
To wrathful terms: this place is dangerous;
The time right deadly; I beseech you, go.
Tro. Behold, I pray you!

Ulyss.

You flow to great destruction; come, my lord.

Now, good my lord, go off:

You have not patience; come.

Tro. I pr'ythee, stay.

Ulyss.

Tro. I pray you, stay; by hell, and all hell's tor

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Tro.

By Jove,

I will be patient.

Cres.

Guardian!-why, Greek!

Dio. Pho, pho! adieu; you palter*.

Cres. In faith, I do not; come hither once again. Ulyss. You shake, my lord, at something; will

you go?

You will break out.

Tro.

Ulyss.

She strokes his cheek!

Come, come.

Tro. Nay, stay; by Jove, I will not speak a word: There is between my will and all offences,

A guard of patience :-stay a little while.

Fry,

Ther. How the devil luxury, with his fat rump and potatoe finger, tickles these together! lechery, fry!

Dio. But will you then?

Cres. In faith, I will, la; never trust me else.
Dio. Give me some token for the surety of it.
Cres. I'll fetch you one.

Ulyss. You have sworn patience.

Tro.

[Erit.

Fear me not, my lord ;

I will not be myself, nor have cognitiont
Of what I feel; I am all patience.

Re-enter Cressida.

Ther. Now the pledge; now, now, now!
Cres. Here, Diomed, keep this sleeve.

Tro. O beauty! where's thy faith?

Ulyss.

My lord,

Tro. I will be patient; outwardly I will. Cres. You look upon that sleeve; Behold it well.He loved me-O false wench!-Give't me again. Dio. Who was't?

Cres.

No matter, now I hav't again.

I will not meet with you to-morrow night:
I pr'ythee, Diomed, visit me no more.

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