66 66 66 66 " confessed, however, that she gave no proof of her boasted consistency. First, she refused me, then she accepted me, then she separated herself from me :-so much for consistency. I need not tell you of the obloquy and opprobium that were cast upon my name when our separation was made public. I once made a list from the "Journals of the day, of the different worthies, ancient and "modern, to whom I was compared. I remember a few: "Nero, Apicius, Epicurus, Caligula, Heliogabalus, Henry “the Eighth, and lastly the. All my former friends, 66 even my cousin, George Byron, who had been brought up "with me, and whom I loved as a brother, took my wife's 66 part. He followed the stream when it was strongest against me, and can never expect any thing from me: he "shall never touch a sixpence of mine. I was looked upon 66 as the worst of husbands, the most abandoned and "wicked of men, and my wife as a suffering angel-an "incarnation of all the virtues and perfections of the sex. "I was abused in the public prints, made the common talk 66 of private companies, hissed as I went to the House of "Lords, insulted in the streets, afraid to go to the theatre, whence the unfortunate Mrs. Mardyn had been driven "with insult. The Examiner was the only paper that "dared say a word in my defence, and Lady Jersey the 66 66 only person in the fashionable world that did not look upon me as a monster. "I once addressed some lines to her that made her my "friend ever after. The subject of them was suggested by her being excluded from a certain cabinet of the "beauties of the day. I have the lines somewhere, and "will shew them to you. 66 66 "In addition to all these mortifications my affairs were irretrievably involved, and almost so as to make me what they wished. I was compelled to part with Newstead, " which I never could have ventured to sell in my mo"ther's life-time. As it is, I shall never forgive myself "for having done so; though I am told that the estate "would not now bring half as much as I got for it. "This does not at all reconcile me to having parted with "the old abbey.* I did not make up my mind to this * The regard which he entertained for it is proved by the passage in Don Juan, Canto XIII. Stanza 55, beginning thus: "To Norman Abbey whirl'd the noble pair," &c. 66 66 66 step, but from the last necessity. I had my wife's portion to repay, and was determined to add 10,000. more of my own to it; which I did. I always hated being in debt, and do not owe a guinea. The moment I had put my affairs in train, and in little more than eighteen months after my marriage, I left England, an involuntary exile, intending it should be " for ever*." 66 66 Speaking of the multitude of strangers, whose visits of curiosity or impertinence he was harassed by for *His feelings may be conceived by the two following passages: "I can't but say it is an awkward sight, Don Juan, Canto II. Stanza 12. Self-exiled Harold wanders forth again, "With nought of hope left." Childe Harold, Canto III. Stanza 16. G some years after he came abroad, particularly at Venice, he said: "Who would wish to make a show-bear of himself, and "dance to any tune any fool likes to play? Madame de “Staël said, I think of Goëthe, that people who did not "wish to be judged by what they said, did not deserve "that the world should trouble itself about what they 66 66 thought. She had herself a most unconscionable insatiability of talking and shining. If she had talked less, "it would have given her time to have written more, and would have been better. For my part, it is indifferent "to me what the world says or thinks of me. Let them "know me in my books. My conversation is never "brilliant. "Americans are the only people to whom I never "refused to shew myself. The Yankees are great friends "of mine. I wish to be well thought of on the other 66 side of the Atlantic; not that I am better appreciated "there, than on this; perhaps worse. Some American "Reviewer has been persevering in his abuse and per 66 sonality, but he should have minded his ledger; he 66 never excited my spleen.* I was confirmed in my reso"lution of shutting my door against all the travelling 66 English by the impertinence of an anonymous scribbler, "who said he might have known me, but would not." I interrupted him by telling him he need not have been so angry on that occasion,-that it was an authoress who had been guilty of that remark. "I don't wonder," added I," that a spinster should have avoided associating with so dangerous an acquaintance as you had the character of being at Venice." 66 Well, I did not know that these Sketches of Italy' *The taste and critical acumen of the American magazine will appear from the following extract: "The verses (it is of the Prisoner of Chillon' that it speaks) "are in the eight syllable measure, and occasionally display some 66 pretty poetry; at all events, there is little in them to offend. 66 "We do not find any passage of sufficient beauty or originality to warrant extract." Am. Critical Review, 1817. |