which were used in the days of Wouter Van Twiller, denoting ease, tranquillity, and sobriety of deportment; and in place thereof, did introduce little captious short pipes, two inches in length; which, he observed, could be stuck in one corner of the mouth, or twisted in the hat-band, and would not be in the way of business. By this the multitude seemed somewhat appeased, and dispersed to their habitations. Thus ended this alarming insurrection, which was long known by the name of the pipe plot, and which, it has been somewhat quaintly observed, did end, like most other plots, seditions, and conspiracies, in merė smoke. 9

But mark, Oh reader! the deplorable consequences that did afterwards result. The smoke of these villainous little pipes, continually ascending in a cloud about the nose, penetrated into and befogged the cerebellum, dried up all the kindly moisture of the brain, and rendered the people that used them as vapourish and testy as their renowned little governor-nay, what is more, from a good burly race of folk, they became, like our worthy Dutch farmers, who smoke short pipes, a lantern-jawed, smokedried, leathern-hided race of men.

*

Nor was this all, for from hence may we date the rise of parties in this province. Certain of the more wealthy and important burghers adhering to the ancient fashion, formed a kind of aristocracy, which went by the appellation of the Long Pipes, while the lower orders, submitting to the innovation, which they found to be more convenient in their handicraft employments, and to leave them more liberty of action, were branded with the plebeian name of Short Pipes. A third party likewise sprang up, differing from both the others, headed by the descendants of the famous Robert Chewit, the companion of the great Hudson. These entirely discarded the use of pipes, and took to chewing tobacco, and hence they were called Quids. It is worthy of notice, that this last appellation has since

come to be invariably applied to those mongrel or third parties, that will sometimes spring up between two great contending parties, as a mule is produced between a horse and an ass.

ارا.

And here I would remark the great benefit of these party distinctions, by which the people at large are saved the vast trouble of thinking. Hesiod divides mankind into three classes, those who think for themselves, those who let others think for them, and those who will neither do one nor the other. The second class, however, comprises, the great mass of society, and hence is the origin of party, by which is meant a large body of people, some few of whom think, and all the rest talk. The former, who are called the leaders, marshal out and discipline the latter, teaching them what they must approve-what they must hoot at-what they must say whom they must support; but, above all, whom they must hate; for no man can be a right good partizan, unless he be a determined and thorough-going hater.

But when the sovereign people are thus properly bro ken to the harness, yoked, curbed, and reined, it is delectable to see with what docility and harmony they jog onward, through mud and mire, at the will of their drivers, dragging the dirt-carts of faction at their heels. How many a patriotic member of congress have I seen, who would never have known how to make up his mind on any question, and might have run a great risk of voting right by mere accident, had he not had others to think for him, and a file leader to vote after.

Thus then the enlightened inhabitants of the Manhat toes, being divided into parties, were enabled to organize dissension, and to oppose and hate one another more ac curately. And now the great business of politics went bravely on; the parties assembling in separate beerhouses, and smoking at each other with implacable ani, mosity, to the great support of the state, and emolument

of the tavern-keepers. Some, indeed, who were more zealous than the rest, went further, and began to bespatter one another with numerous very hard names and scandalous little words, to be found in the Dutch language; every partizan believing religiously that he was serving his country, when he traduced the character, or impoverished the pocket of a political adversary. But, however, they might differ between themselves, all parties agreed on one point-to cayil at and condemn every measure of government whether right or wrong; for as the governor was by his station independent of their power, and was not elected by their choice, and as he had not decided in favour of either faction, neither of them was interested in his success, nor in the prosperity of the country while under his administration.

"Unhappy William Kieft!" exclaims the sage writer of the Stuyvesant manuscript, "doomed to contend with enemies too knowing to be entrapped, and to reign over a people too wise to be governed !" All his expeditions against his enemies were baffled and set at naught, and all his measures for the public safety were cavilled at by the people. Did he propose levying an efficient body of troops for internal defence-the mob, that is to say, those vagabond members of the community who have nothing to lose, immediately took the alarm, vociferated that their interests were in danger; that a standing army was a legion of moths, preying on the pockets of society; a rod of iron in the hands of government; and that a government with a military force at its command, would inevitably swell into a despotism. Did he, as was but too commonly the case, defer preparation until the moment of emergency, and then hastily collect a handful of undisciplined vagrants-the measure was hooted at, as feeble and inadequate; as trifling with the public dignity and safety; and as lavishing the public funds on impotent enterprises. Did he resort to the economic measure of proclamation-he was laughed

at by the Yankees. Did he back it by non-intercourseit was evaded and counteracted by his own subjects. Whichever way he turned himself he was beleaguered and distracted by petitions of "numerous and respectable meetings," consisting of some half a dozen brawling pothouse politicians; all of which he read, and what is worse, all of which he attended to. The consequence was, that by incessantly changing his measures, he gave none of them a fair trial; and by listening to the clamours of the mob, and endeavouring to do every thing, he, in sober truth, did nothing.

I would not have it supposed, however, that he took all these memorials and interferences good naturedly, for such an idea would do an injustice to his valiant spirit; on the contrary, he never received a piece of advice in the whole course of his life, without first getting into a passion with the giver. But I have ever observed that your passionate little men, like small boats with large sails, are the easiest upset or blown out of their course; and this is demonstrated by Governor Kieft, who, though in temperament as hot as an old radish, and with a mind, the territory of which was subjected to perpetual whirlwinds and tornadoes, yet never failed to be carried away by the last piece of advice that was blown into his ear. Lucky was it for him that his power was not dependant on the greasy multitude, and that as yet the populace did not possess the important privilege of nominating their chief magistrate. They, however, like a true mob, did their best to help along public affairs; pestering their governor incessantly, by goading him on with harangues and petitions; and then thwarting his fiery spirit with reproaches and memorials, like a knot of Sunday-jockeys, managing an unlucky devil of a hackhorse: so that Wilhelmus Kieft may be said to have been kept either on a worry or a hand-gallop, throughout the whole of his administration,

CHAPTER VII.

Containing divers fearful accounts of Border Wars, and the flagrant outrages of the Moss-troopers of Connecticut; with the rise of the great Amphýctionic Council of the east, and the decline of William the Testy.

Ir was asserted by the wise men of ancient times, who were intimately acquainted with these matters, that at the gate of Jupiter's palace lay two huge tuns, the one filled with blessings, the other with misfortunes; and it verily seems as if the latter had been completely overturned, and left to deluge the unlucky province of Nieuw Nederlandts. Among the many internal and external causes of irritation, the incessant irruptions of the Yankees upon his frontiers were continually adding fuel to the inflammable temper of William the Testy. Numerous accounts of these molestations may still be found among the records of the times; for the commanders on the frontiers were especially careful to evince their vigilance and zeal, by striving who should send home the most frequent and voluminous budgets of complaints, as your faithful servant is eternally running, with complaints to the parlour, of all the petty squabbles and misdemeanours of the kitchen. All these valiant tale-bearings were listened to with great wrath by the passionate Kieft and his subjects, who were to the full as eager to hear, and credulous to believe these frontier fables, as are my fellow-citizens to swallow those amusing stories with which our papers are daily filled, about British aggressions at sea, French sequestrations on shore, Spanish infringements in the promised land of Louisiana, and, above all, internal plots and conspiracies.

We are told by the good Plutarch, in his life of Nicias, that the terrible defeat of the Athenians in Sicily was first