But when (since I the truth must tell)
Berne found she prosper'd full as well;
That no portents were seen to fly
In storms, or lightnings through the sky;
Or, when she sate her down to eat,
No Harpies seiz'd upon her meat ;
And when she thought, as Buffon writes,
That Bears have monstrous appetites,
And that their hugs oft cover hate,
Like the caresses of the Great ;

The tears, that erst her grief supplied,
Soon, like th' Ephesian Dame, she dried;
From Bruin her regrets withdrew,

And voted, he was useless too :
For in all realms, whate'er their name,
Republicans are still the same *.

So, for the Muse should never fail
To draw a moral from her Tale,
Some men, who hold the reins of State,
Seem anxious to procrastinate,

As if they wish'd the Muse should sing,
(Though all indignant at the thing!)
"That we can do without a King ;'

The State Wheels round the same Orbs turning
By the mere Motion of Adjourning;
But, their designs while thus they broach,
The Lord have mercy on the Coach!
For, from the box till they retire,
They'll plunge it deeper in the mire;
Since all their ways too plainly show'd
They still preferr'd the dirtiest road!

}

THE GREAT SEAL IN THE THAMES; OR, THE DEVIL AMONG THE FISHES: A FABLE.

[From the same.]

I thank thee for the hint.

SHAKSPEARE.

W THEN King James in the night
Cross'd the Thames in his flight,

He flung the GREAT SEAL in the stream;

*Alluding to the House of Lords being put hors du combat, at the

Commencement of the Commonwealth.

At

ON A STATE VAULTER EXTRAORDINÁRY.

At the bottom it lay,

All depriv'd of its sway

Of its powers the fishes ne'er dream :
Till at length a sly Eel

Cried, "Behold the Great Seal!
I'll make myself King of the Flood;
For a Seal-keeper sly,

When the King is not by,

'T is known is a King just as good.
"The Parliament met,

To debating I'll set,

And then two Commissions I'll frame
First to license what 's said,
For King absent or dead,

Then give Royal Assent in His name.

"What though Common Sense shows,
Common Sense will oppose,:

With this salvo I'll cure ev'ry flaw;
Though he does not appear,,

Still His Majesty's here

This is true, for 't is Fiction of Law'."

IMPROMPTU

ON A STATE VAULTER EXTRAORDINARY,

[From the Morning Herald, Dec. 26.]

MID the feats of modern art,

In this our varying clime,

Where some 'gainst wind and tide be-start,

While others fly 'gainst Time ;

We see (what's surely bold enough)

With giant resolution,

A tiny Lawyer stripp'd in buff

To'erleap the Constitution I

85

JOHN DOE.

* Mr. Gillray, with other daring Caricaturists, are hereby cautioned to restrain any wanton propensity to sketch this heroic attempt of the State Vaulter Extraordinary of all England, either on brass, or any other inappropriate metal whatsoever, on pain of a legal premunire.

(Signed) RICHARD ROE,

Solicitor to said State Vaulter Extraordinary.

ON

ON THE LIMITATIONS OF REGENCY,

AS DETERMINED UPON IN 1789.

[From the Morning Chronicle, December 26.]

THE brightest jewels from th' Imperial Crown,

Like Blood, Pitt's keen Administration snatches;

And throwing at their feet the Regent down,
Makes him a sort of King "of shreds and patches."

OVID

THE AGE WE LIVE IN.

[From the British Press, December 27.]

VID has given a very fine description of the earlier ages of the world, and has told us a beautiful story about things which, in our times, it is scarcely possible to conceive to be any better than pure fictions of the poet's brain. We are informed, for instance, that there was an Age called "the Golden," from some precious metal, which, on account of its superexcellence, was applied allegorically to designate the most happy, innocent, abundant, and delightful era that ever existed on the earth. What this metal could have been it is not in the power of a modern writer to imagine: but, from our absolute ignorance of the meaning of the term "Golden," it may fairly be presumed, that it is altogether a fabulous expression, and refers to something as unrcal as the unicorn, the phoenix, the sphynx, or the flying dragon; for who can suppose, that if such a metal as this called Gold had existed at any period, it would have been unknown to the chemists of the 18th century, who have explored the very arcana of nature, and made such notable discoveries respecting zinc, bismuth, and a hundred other mongrel metals, which the ancients had no more conception of than we have of Gold? It is therefore clear, that this part of Naso's story is all my eye; and we

need

THE AGE WE LIVE IN.

87

need not wonder, that all the experiments of all the alchymists of the last four centuries, founded on so ridiculous a poetical invention, should have lamentably failed in discovering that which is a non-entity-their aurum palpabile!

This incredible opinion, that there really was such a metal as gold, was further strengthened by the cunning of the Poet, who compares the succceding age to silver, a metal which we know, by some few proofs still remaining, is to be found in the bowels of the earth. And, again, by likening the third age he treats upon to lead, a metal which all the plumbers in England can verify upon oath is to be had some way or other whether the truth lies in a well or not, is immaterial to our argument.

The elixir of life, the longitude, the perpetual motion, and the way to square a circle, have all equally had their followers, advocates, and admirers; but the wiser part of mankind have invariably laughed at all such pursuits-whether of those who hunted after immortality, in a mortal world; certainty, where nothing is certain; perpetuity, where every thing decays; an exception to a physical certainty; or, what was of the same description," the philosopher's stone, or gold,' as a substance which we have reason to believe is nothing more than an immaterial phantasy. The wisdom and purity of the British Parliament has of late been arraigned and brought into question more than in former times, and we must confess, in our opinion, with greater justice than ever; for it evinced no ordinary share of folly, in the Senate of a great nation, to fall into a vulgar opinion, and appoint a Committee, as they did last Session, to inquire into its truth or falsehood, and report to the House whether there was any foundation for the belief in the philosopher's stone, or not. In no other light can the Bullion Committee be considered; and any man of sense might

have anticipated their Report, viz. That there was no such thing in creation as the metal they were deputed to discover! And yet this Report made a noise in the country, and set all the yelping fellows of the nation at work, to prove that the Committee were wrong. We shall not enter into a controversy so evidently ridiculous, but, satisfied in our own mind by the evidence of our own senses, remain convinced that there is no such thing as gold to be seen.

Would to Heaven the precious ore did exist, and that the age of peace, pleasure, and plenty, resembling it, were restored! But, alas! even the silvery age is past, and we do not enjoy the secondary degree of happiness with which mankind were blessed during the period so designated: nay, the very age of lead, when rapine, injustice, and discord, began to infest the world when bellum, horridum bellum, cried havoc, and let slip its bloodhounds-even that dull heavy time is over, and worse has succeeded; in which, unfortunately for our generation, we are the actors. But what name shall we give this "Age we live in?” Were we to follow the example of Ovid, and add another metal to the list, nothing would be found applicable but that compound-brass! Impudence and assurance prevail over modesty and talent, and brazen presumption leads to honours, wealth, and fame! Another phenomenon of our times might be happily compared with that semi-metallic combination which is employed in Galvanic experiments, and the preva lénce of universal Corruption find an apt counterpart in the fluid wonders wrought in these curious philosophical treats by Professor Davy. We might observe how, by this medium, the dead were made to move about, as by the influence of Corruption they are made to vote at Elections; and many other singular and similar appearances might be produced and explained.

But,