Full as George Rose's cup;
I'd steal amid the piebald throng,
Wait for the zenith of their song,
Then burst and blow 'em up!

My sister Peg seeks peace in pray'r,
While Pat is grappling with Despair,
To drown him in his claret.-
The lib'ral Arts are clogg'd with tricks,'
And Knav'ry drives his coach and six,
While Merit 's in—a garret!

The Nation's debt too, on the slate,
Makes Credit moan, and Reason prate,
And foreign Empires talk:
Denied a sponge, I'll crawl so sad,
Swear that the heart-burn made me mad,
And lick off all the chalk !

I dream'd last night a luckless Bear,
Crossing a river, Lord knows where,
Was stung by Gnats to madness:
Another Swarm, who saw th' affray,
Offer'd to chase this Gang away,

And take their posts with gladness.

Ah, no!' the suffering Beast replied;
These plagues are now near satisfied,

And fill'd with my best juices:
You're lank, and want my blood, 't is plain;
I'll e'en endure my present pain,
Nor open deeper sluices!'

Divine some cure to solace me,
(For I'm no conjuror, you see,)

I've tried both Whigs and Tories:
When out, they all use sugar'd words;
When in, the milk is turn'd to curds,
And all tell diff'rent stories!"

Then thus the radiant God began: "The Ins and Outs are, to a man,

But

ADVERTISEMENT EXTRAORDINARY!

But birds of the same feather:

While Wy grins, and G-e pouts,
We'll d- --n the Ins, and d--n the Quts,
And d--n them all together!"

CARD-TABLE EPITAPH.

75

P.

A

ON A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, WHOSE RUIN BY BEING GREAT FREQUENTER OF CLUBS OCCASIONED HER PREMATURE DEATH.

CLA

[From the Morning Chronicle, Nov. 20.]

LARISSA reign'd the queen of hearts,
Like sparkling diamonds were her eyes;
But through the knave of clubs' false arts,
Here bedded by a spade she lies.

J. B.

ON THE FRENCH TYRANT'S BURNING DECREE.

[From the Morning Post, Nov. 23.]

FELL Buonaparte, mad with savage ire,

To rapine and to murder now adds fire;
But needless was this crime to brand his name,
Since he has long been Europe's burning shame!

ADVERTISEMENT EXTRAORDINARY!
[From the British Press, Nov. 29.]

SAM Scribble takes this method of introducing himself to public notice. His friends and enemies are informed, that he has taken that large and airy waterproof garret opposite the sign of the " Cat and Fiddle," where he intends to establish himself as an Author, for the accommodation of the Treasury Journals exclusively; and, from the dulness and insipidity of their columns at present, he has every reason to believe that they will consider him a very valuable acquisition.

He has just received from the Head-quarters of the Allied Army in Portugal, via Lisbon, a few interesting articles, among which are five different modes of starving Massena; to one of which is prefixed, a Plan for hedging in the Cuckoo.

**These articles are all entitled to drawback, and will be sold cheap.

IN THE PRESS,

The following valuable works, by Mr. Scribble: No. 1.-A Treatise upon Invasion, by King Joachim Murat; showing how an army may be safely landed upon an enemy's territory, and may be kept there. This work, which is dedicated to General Sir John Stuart, is adorned with plates; including a view of Scylla and Charybdis; and the French Sportsman, who cleared the ditch by falling over his horse's head, leaving the animal behind.

No. 2.-A Supplement to the Pantheon; or, An Account of a "monstrous Deity," unknown to the ancient Mythologists, yeleped the Majesty of the People." He has a thousand heads, a thousand tongues, and a thousand hands: he has also a thousand feet, with which he sometimes kicks ambitious demagogues into the gulf of public contempt.

No. 3-The Nineteenth Edition of that valuable work, entitled "Claw me, and I'll claw you; or, The old System of indirect Puffing, as successfully practised by the Morning Post and the Morning Chronicle." In 49 volumes, chiefly composed from those two papers. This work will be sold by weight, with an allowance of 75 per cent. tare.

No. 4.-Beauties of the same two precious Journals! The novelty of this book will sufficiently recommend it. The buyer will receive a good Microscope gratis, to enable him to enjoy his purchase, the beauties not being legible to common eyes!

N.B.

LINES ON A QUOTATION FROM HORACE. 77 N. B. Essays, Squibs, &c. prepared on the shortest notice.

Nov. 28.

MARRIED-Lately, at Dumfries, the Lady Auchterfardle, to David Cushnie, Esq. of Overdum-fifidling, in the county of Dumfries.

EPITHALAMIUM CELTICUM.

OverðumfifiDLING'S Heir,

David Cushnie, 'clept Esquire,
Auchtertardle's Lady fair

Passionately did admire.
Overdumfifidling's Heir

Sought fair Auchterfardle's hand-
Hymen smil'd, and soon the fair
Buckled in his holy band.

Auld Dumfries! thy crest now rear,
Sing, and push about the nappy-
May Överdumfifidling's Heir

Make fair Auchterfardle happy!
From the roof of this fond pair
Still may smiling Fortune ward ill-
Soon 'Squire Cushnie have an heir
By fair Lady Auchterfardle!

[From the Morning Chronicle, Nov. 29.]

LINES,

OCCASIONED BY A QUOTATION FROM HORACE, IN

LATE DEBATE:

O navis, referent in mare te novi
Fluctus, &c.

[From the same, Dec. 3.}

LL-fated ship, by tempests torn,

ILL

On wild and heady currents borne, "T were wise the peaceful port to keep While angry winds the ocean sweep!

E 3

3

Thy

Thy timbers strain'd, thy tackle rent,
Thy strength in useless fury spent,
Thy main-mast from its station riven,
And shatter'd by the stroke of Heaven,
No hopes of safety canst thou form
On him who weather'd once the storm:
A feeble crew, whom doubts o'erwhelm,
And strifes distract, have seiz'd the helm.
Boast not the trust that once was thine
In England's oak and Scotia's pine;
For while they steer, 't will swell their pride,
And lead their blindness further wide;
"Twill hasten and confirm the more
That fate which threaten'd thee before.
Of foes the mock, of fools the sport,
O seek in time the peaceful port;
And mayst thou ne'er thy course renew,
Till mann'd by helmsmen tried and true!

R. R.

BE

EPITAPH ON DRYANDER.

[From the same, Dec. 8.]

ENEATH this humble tombstone lie
The mouldering bones of honest Dry ;
A learned Swede of Linné's school,

Long us'd o'er botany to rule,
Plantarum genera et species,

Varieties ad usque decies;

Who left his native garden, Sweden,
To seek, in Soho Square, an Eden.
Many an author well he knew,
From Tournefort to Jussieu ;
Gerarde, Johnson, and all such,
From Tabermontan in High Dutch,
Down to the secrets that we come by,
In the receipts of Mother Bumbey.
For current coins he well could barter,
Whether Chinese and Mancheou Tartar;
Or Persic, Arabic, Napaul,

Where struck, and when, he knew them all.