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Mrs. Ford. Do not betray me, sir. I fear Fal. [Coming forward] Let me see't, le you love Mistress Page.
me see't, o, let me see't! I'll in, I'll in. Fol Fal. Thou mightst as well say I love to low your friend's counsel. I'll in. walk by the Counter-gate, which is as hateful Mrs. Page. What, Sir John Falstaff! Are to me as the reek of a lime-kiln.
these your letters, knight? Mrs. Ford. Well, heaven knows how I love Fal. I love thee. Help me away. Let me you ; and you shall one day find it.
creep in here. I'll never
150 Fal. Keep in that mind; I'll deserve it.
[Gets into the basket; they cover him Mrs. Ford. Nay, I must tell you, so you
with foul linen do; or else I could not be in that mind. 91 Mrs. Page. Help to cover your master, bay.
Rob. [Within] Mistress Ford, Mistress Ford! Call your men, Mistress Ford. You disseinhere's Mistress Page at the door, sweating and bling knight! blowing and looking wildly, and would needs Mrs. Ford. What, John ! Robert ! John! speak with you presently. Fal. She shall not see me : I will ensconce
Re-enter Servants. me behind the arras. Mrs. Ford. Pray you, do so : she's a very
Go take up these clothes here quickly. Where's tattling woman. [Fulstaff hides himself.
the cowl-staff? look, how you drumble! Carry
them to the laundress in Datchet-mead; Re-enter MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN. quickly, come. What's the matter ? how now !
100 Enter FORD, PAGE, CAIUS, and SIR HUGH Mrs. Page. O Mistress Ford, what have
EVANS. you done? You're shamed, you're overthrown, Ford. Pray you, come near : if I suspecte you're nndone for ever!
without cause, why then make sport at me; Mrs. Ford. What's the matter, good Mistress then let me be your jest ; I deserve it. How Page ?
now! whither bear you this? Mrs. Page. 0 well-a-day, Mistress Ford ! Serv. To the laundress, forsooth. having an honest man to your husband, to Mrs. Ford Why, what have you to do give him such cause of suspicion !
whither they bear it? You were best meddle Mrs. Ford. What cause of suspicion ?
with buck-washing. Mrs. Page. What cause of suspicion ! Out Ford. Buck! I would I could wash myself upon you ! how am I mistook in you! 111 of the buck! Buck, buck, buck! Ay, buck; 1 Mrs. Ford. Why, alas, what's the matter ? warrant you, buck ; and of the season too, it
Mrs. Page. Your husband's coining hither, shall appear. [Exeunt servants with the baswoman, with all the officers in Windsor, to ket.] Gentlemen, I have dreamed to-night; search for a gentleman that he says is here I'll tell you my dream. Here, here, here be now in the house by your consent, to take an my keys: ascend my chambers'; search, seek, ill advantage of his abšence : you are undone. find out : I'll warrant we'll unkennel the fox Mrs. Ford. 'Tis not so, I hope.
Let me stop this way first. (Locking the door.] Mrs. Page. Pray heaven it be not so, that So, now uncape. you have such a man here! but 'tis most cer- Page. Good Master Ford, be contented: you tain your husband's coming, with half Wind- wrong yourself too much. sor at his heels, to search for such a ove. I Ford. True, Master Page. Up, gentlemen come before to tell you. If you know yourself you shall see sport anon: follow me, gentleclear, why, I am glad of it ; but if you have a men. friend here, convey, convey him out. Be not Evans. This is fery fantastical humors and amazed ; call all your senses to you ; defend jealousies. your reputation, or bid farewell to your good Caius. By gar, 'tis no the fashion of France; life for ever.
it is not jealous in France. Mrs. Ford. What shall I do? There is a Page. Nay, follow him, gentlemen ; see the gentleman my dear friend ; and I fear not issue of his search. mine own share so much as his peril: I had
[Exeunt Page, Caius, and Evans rather than a thousand pound he were out of Mrs. Paye. Is there not a double excellency the house.
in this? Mrs. Page. For shame! never stand you Mrs. Ford. I know not which pleases me had rather and you had rather :' your hus- better, that my husband is deceived, or Sir band's here at hand ; bethink you of some John. conveyance: in the house you cannot hide Mrs. Page. What a taking was he in when him. O, how have you deceived me! Look, your husband asked who was in the basket! here is a basket : if he be of any reasonable Mrs. Ford. I am half afraid he will have stature, he may creep in here, and throw need of washing ; so throwing him into the foul linen upon him, as if it were going to water will do him a benefit. bucking : or-it is whiting-time-send him by Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest rascal! your two men to Datchet-mead.
141 would all of the same strain were in the salus Mrs. Ford. He's too big to go in there. distress. What shall I do?
Mrs. Ford. I think my husband hath some
fpecial suspicion of Falstaff's being here ; for I never saw him so gross in his jealousy till
Mrs. Pagę. I will lay a plot to try that ; and we will yet have more tricks with Falstaff: his dissolute disease will scarce obey this medicine.
Mr& Ford Shall we send that foolish carriou, Mistress Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing into the water ; and give him another hope, tu betray him to another punishment ?
jfrs, Page. We will do it : let him be sent for tomorrow, eight o'clock, to have amends. Re-enter FORD, PAGE, CAIUS, and SIR HUGH
EVANS, Ford. I cannot find him : may be the knave bragged of that he could not compass.
Mrs. Page. (Aside to Mrs. Ford] Heard you that?
Mrs. Ford. You uge me well, Master Ford, do you? Pord. Ay, I do so. Mrs. Ford. Heaven make you better than your thoughts! Ford, Amen!
220 Mrs. Page. You do yourself mighty wrong, Master Ford.
Ford. Ay, ay ; I must bear it. Erans. If there be any pody in the house, and in the chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses, heaven forgive my sins at the day of jodgment !
Caius. By gar, nor I too : there is no bodies.
Page. Fie, fie, Master Ford! are you not ashamed ? What spirit, what devil suggests this imagination ? I would not ha' your distemper in this kind for the wealth of Windsor Castle. Pord. 'Tis my fault, Master Page: I suffer for it.
Evans. You suffer for a pad conscience : your wife is as honest a 'omans as I will desites among five thousand,
and five hundred Caius. By gar, I see 'tis an honest woman. Ford. Well, I promised you a dinner. Come, onne, walk in the Park : 1 pray you, pardon ne; I will hereafter make known to you why hare done this. Come, wife; come, Mistress 'age. I pray you,
pardon me; pray heartily, Paye. Let's go in, gentlemen ; but, trust de, we'll mock him. I do invite you to-morow morning to my house to breakfast : after, fe'll a-birding together ; I have
a fine hawk or the bush. Shall it be so ? Ford. Any thing. Erans. If there is one, I shall make two in
251 Caius If dere be one or two, I shall make-a le turd. Ford. Pray you, go, Master Page. Erans
. I pray you 'now, remembrance toOITOW on the lousy knave, mine host
Caius. Dat is good ; by gar, with all my heart !
Evans. A lousy, knave, to have his gibes and his mockeries !
[Exeunt. 260 SCENE IV. A room in PAGE's house.
Enter FENTON and ANNE PAGE.
Anne. Alas, how then ?
Why, thou must be thyself.
Anne. May be he tells you true.
Gentle Master Fenton, Yet seek my father's love ; still seek it, sir : If opportunity and humblest suit
20 Cannot attain it, why, then,-hark you hither!
[They converse apart. Enter SHALLOW, SLENDER, and MISTRESS
QUICKLY. Shal. Break their talk, Mistress Quickly : my kinsman shall speak for himself,
Slen. I'll make a shaft or a bolton't : 'slid, 'tis but venturing
Shal. Be not dismayed.
Slen. No, she shall not dismay me : I care not for that, but that I am afeard.
Quck. Hark ye; Master Slender would speak a word with you.
30 Anne. I come to him. (Aside] This is my
father's choice. 0, what a world of vile ill-favor'd faults Looks handsome in three hundred pounds
4-year ! Quick. And how does good Master Fenton? Pray you, a word with you.
Shal. She's coming ; to her, coz. O boy, thou hadst a father!
Slen. I had a father, Mistress Anne ; my uncle can tell you good jests of him. Pray you, uncle, teii Mistress Anne the jest, how my father stole two geeso out of a pen, good uncle.
41 Shal. Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you.
Slen. Ay, that I do ; as well as I love any woman in Gloucestershire.
Shal. He will maintain you like a gentle
Slen. Ay, that I will, come cut and longtail, under the degree of a squire.
Shal. He will make you a hundred and fifty Quick. This is my doing, now : Nay, pounds jointure.
50 said I, will you cast away your child on 8 Anne. Good Master Shallow, let him woo fool, and a physician ? Look on Master Fen. for himself.
ton :' this is my doing. Shal. Marry, I thank you for it; I thank Fent. I thank thee; and I pray thee, ono you for that good comfort. She calls you,
to-night coz : I'll leave you.
Give my sweet Nan this ring : there's for thy Anne. Now, Master Slender,
pains. Slen. Now, good Mistress Anne,
Quick. Now heaven send thee good forAnne. What is your will ?
tune! [Erit Fenton. A kind heart he hath: Slen. My will ! 'od's heartlings, that's a a woman would run through fire and water pretty jest indeed ! I ne'er made my will yet,
for such a kind heart. But yet I would my I thank heaven ; I am not such a sickly crea
master had Mistress Anne; or I would Master ture, I give heaven praise.
62 Slender had her ; or, in sooth, I would Master Anne. I mean, Master Slender, what would
Fenton had her : I will do what I can for them you with me?
all three ; for so I have promised, and I'll be Slen. Truly, for mine own part, I would as good as my word ; but speciously for little or nothing with you. Your father and
Master Fenton. Well, I must of another errand my uncle hatli made motions : if it be my
to Sir John Falstaff from my two mistresses : luck, so; if not, happy man be his dole! They
what a beast am I to slack it! can tell you how things go better than I can : you may ask your father ; here he comes. 70 SCENE V. A room in the Garter Inn. Enter Page and MISTRESS PAGE.
Enter FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH. Page. Now, Master Slender : love him, daughter Anne.
Fal, Bardolph, I say, Why, how now! what does Master Fenton
Bard. "Here, sir. here ?
Fal. Go fetch me a quart of sack ; put a You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my
toast in't. (Exit Bard.] Have I lived to be house :
carried in a basket, like a barrow of butcher's I told you, sir, my daughter is disposed of.
offal, and to be thrown in the Thames ? Well, Fent. Nay, Master Page, be not impatient.
if I be served such another trick, I'll have my Mrs. Page. Good Master Fenton, come not
brains ta'en out and buttered, and give therr to my child.
to a dog for a new-year's gift. The rogues Page. She is no match for you.
slighted me into the river with as little remorse Fent. Sir, will you hear me ?
as they would have drowned a blind bitch's Page.
No, good Master Fenton. puppies, fifteen i' the litter: and you may know Come, Master Shallow ; come, son Slender, in.
by my size that I have a kind of alacrity in Knowing my mind, you wrong me, Master sinking; if the bottom were as deep as hell, I Fenton. [Exeunt Page, Shal., and Slen,
should down, I had been drowned, but that Quick. Speak to Mistress Page.
the shore was shelvy and shallow,-a death Fent. Good Mistress Page, for that I love
that I abhor; for the water swells a man , and your daughter
what a thing should I have been when I had In such a righteous fashion as I do,
been swelled ! I should have been a mountain Perforce, against all checks, rebukes and
Re-enter BARDOLPH with sack.
Bard. Here's Mistress Quickly, sir, to speak Anne. Good mother, do not marry me to
21 yond fool.
Fal. Come, let me ponr in some sack to the Mrs. Page. i mean it not; I seek you a
Thames water ; for my belly's as cold as if ! better husband.
bad swallowed snowballs for pills to cool the Quick. That's my master, master doctor.
reins. Cal her in, Anne. Alas, I had rather be set quick i' the
Bard. Come in, woman! earth
90 And bowl'd to death with turnips!
Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY, Mrs. Page. Come, trouble not yourself. Quick. By your leave ; I cry you mercy : Good Master Fenton,
give your worship good morrow. I will not be your friend nor enemy :
Fal. Take away these chalices. Go breve My daughter will I question how she loves me a pottle of sack finely. you,
Bard. With eggs, sir ? And as I find her, so am I affected.
Fal. Simple of itself ; I'll no pullet-spers Till then farewell, sir : she must needs go in ; in my brewage. (Erit Bardolph.) How now! Her father will be angry.
Quick. Marry, sir, I come to your worslin Fent. Farewell, gentle mistress : farewell, from Mistress Ford.
Nan. (Exeunt Mrs. Page and Anne. Fal., Mistress Ford ! I have had ford
enough ; I was thrown into the ford ; I have what I have suffered to bring this woman to my belly full of ford.
evil for your good. Being_thus crammed in Quick. Alas the day! good heart, that was the basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his not her fault: she does so take on with her hinds, were called forth by their mistress to men; they mistook their erection.
41 carry me in the name of foul clothes to Fal. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish Datchet-lane: they took me on their shoulders; woman's promise.
met the jealous knave their master in the door, Quick. Well, she laments, sir, for it, that who asked them once or twice what they had it would yearn your heart to see it. Her hus- in their basket : I quaked for fear, lest thre band goes this morning a-birding; she desires lunatic knave would have searched it ; but yon once more to come to her between eight fate, ordaining he should be a cuckold,' held and nine : I must carry her word quickly : his hand. Well: on went he for a search, and she'll make you amends, I warrant you. away went I for foul clothes. But mark the
Fal. Well, I will visit her : tell her so; and sequel, Master Brook : I suffered the pangs of bid her think what a man is : let her consider three several deaths ; first, an intolerable his frailty, and then judge of my merit. 52 fright, to be detected with a jealous rotten Quick. I will tell her.
bell-wether; next, to be compassed, like a Fal. Do so. Between nine and ten, sayest good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt thou ?
to point, heel to head ; and then, to be stopped Quick. Eight and nine, sir.
in, like a strong distillation, with stinking Fal. Well, be gone : I will not miss her. clothes that fretted in their own grease: think Quick. Peace be with you, sir. [Exit. of that, a man of my kidney,-think of Fal. I marvel I hear not of Master Brook ; that, -that am as subject to heat as butter; a he sent me word to stay within : I like his man of continual dissolution and thaw: it was money well. O, here he comes.
60 a miracle to scape suffocation. And in the
height of this bath, when I was more than half Enter FORD.
stewed in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be Ford. Bless you, sir !
thrown into the Thames, and cooled, glowing Fal. Now, master Brook, you come to know hot, in that surge, like a horse-shoe ; think of what hath passed between me and Ford's that,-hissing hot, -think of that, Master wile?
Brook. Ford. That, indeed, Sir John, is my busi- Ford. In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that
for my sake you have suffered all this. My Fal. Master Brook, I will not lie to you : I suit then is desperate ; you'll undertake her was at her house the hour she appointed me. no more? Ford. And sped you, sir?
Fal. Master Brook, I will be thrown into Fal. Very ill-favoredly, Master Brook. Etna, as I have been into Thames, ere I will Ford. How so, sir? Did she change her leave her thus. Her husband is this morning determination ?
gone a-birding : I have received from her anFal. No, master Brook ; but the peaking other embassy of meeting ; 'twixt eight and Cornuto her husband, Master Brook, dwelling nine is the hour, Master Brook. in a continual 'larum of jealousy, comes me in Ford. 'Tis past eight already, sir. tlie instant of our encounter, after we had em- Fal. Is it?' I will then address me to my braced, kissed, protested, and, as it were, appointment. Come to me at your convenient spoke the prologue of our comedy; and at his leisure, and you shall know how I speed ; and heels a rabble of his companions, thither pro
the conclusion shall be crowned with your envoked and instigated by his distemper, and,
joying her. Adieu. You shall have her, forsooth, to search his house for his wife's Master Brook ; Master Brook, you shall cucka
[Erit. Ford. What, while you were there? 80 Ford. Hum ! ha! is this a vision ? is this Fal. While I was there.
a dream ? do I sleep? Master Ford, awake ! Ford. And did he search for you, and could awake, Master Ford ! there's a hole made in
your best coat, Master Ford. This 'tis to be Fal. You shall hear. As good luck would married ! this 'tis to have linen and buckhave it, comes in one Mistress Page ; gives baskets ! Well, I will proclaim myself what intelligence of Ford's approach ; and, in her I am : I will now take the lecher; he is at my invention and Ford's wife's distraction, they house ; he cannot 'scape me ; 'tis impossible conveyed me into a buck-basket.
he should ; he cannot creep into a halfpenny Ford. A buck-basket !
purse, nor into a pepper-box: but, lest the devil Fal. By the Lord, a buck-basket ! rammed that guides him should aid him, I will search me in with foul shirts and smocks, socks, foul impossible places. Though what I am I canstockings, greasy napkins; that, Master not avoid, yet to be what I would not shall not
Brook, there was the rankest compound of make me tame : if I have horns to make one
Quick. And that's a good root.
Evans. 'Oman, forbear.
Mrs. Page. Peace !
Evans. "What is your genitive case plural Enter MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS QUICKLY, William ? and WILLIAM.
Will. Genitive case !
Evans. Ay. Mrs. Page. Is he at Master Ford's already, think'st thou ?
Will. Genitive,-horum, harum, horun, Quick. Sure he is by this, or will be pres
Quick. Vengeance of Jenny's case ! fie ou entiy : but, truly, he is very courageous mad
her! never name her, child, if she be a whore about his throwing into the water. Mistress
Evans. For shame, 'oman. Ford desires you to come suddenly.
Quick. You do ill to teach the child such
words : he teaches him to hick and to hack, Mrs. Page. I'll be with her by and by ; I'll
which they'll do fast enough of themselves, but bring my young man here to school. Look,
and to call horum:' fie upon you !
70 where his master comes ; 'tis a playing-day, Í
Evans. 'Oinan, art thou lunatics? hast thou no understandings for
thy cases and the Enter Sir Hugh EVANS.
numbers of the genders? Thou art as foolish How now, Sir Hugh ! no school to-day ? 10 Christian creatures as I would desires.
Evans. No ; Master Slender is let the boys Mrs. Page. Prithee, hold thy peace. leave to play
Evans. Show me now, William, some deQuick. Blessing of his heart !
clensions of your pronouns. Års. Puge. Sir Hugh, my husband says my Will. Forsooth, I have forgot. son profits nothing in the world at his book. I Evans. It is qui, quæ, quod : if you forget pray you, ask him some questions in his acci- your quies,' your quæs,' and your quods,' dence.
[head ; come. you must be preeches. Go your ways, and Evans. Come hither, William ; hold up your play ; go.
(thought he was Mrs. Page. Come on, sirrah ; hold up your Mrs. Page. He is a better scholar than I head ; answer your master, be not afraid. 20 Evans. He is a good sprag memory. Fale
Evans. William, how many numbers is in well, Mistress Page. nous ?
Mrs. Page. Adieu, good Sir Hugh. Will. Two.
[Exit Sir Hugh) Quick. Truly, I thought there had been one Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long. number more, because they say, 'Od's
(Exeunt Douns. Evans,
SCENE II. A room in Ford's house. Peace your tattlings! What, is fair,' William ?
Enter FALSTAFF and MISTRESS FORD. Will. Pulcher.
Fal. Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten Quick. Polecats! there are fairer things
up my sufferance. I see you are obsequious than polecats, sure.
30 Evans. You are a very simplicity 'oman :I
in your love, and I profess requital to a hair's
breadth ;, not only, Mistress Ford, in the pray you, peace. What is 'lapis,' William ? Will. A stone.
simple office of love, but in all the accoutreEvans. And what is 'a stone,' William ?
ment, complement and ceremony of it. But
are you sure of your husband now? Will. A pebble. Evans. No, it is lapis:' I pray you, re
Mrs. Ford. He's a-birding, sweet Sir John.
Mrs. Page. member in your prain.
[Within] What, ho, gossip Ford ! what, ho !
10 Will. Lapis. Evans. That is a good William. What is he,
Mrs. Ford. Step into the chamber, Sir John. Williain, that does lend articles ?
40 Will. 'Articles are borrowed of the pronoun,
Enter MISTRESS PAGE. and be thus declined, Singulariter, nominativo, Mrs. Page. How now, sweetheart! who's hic, hæc, hoc.
at home besides yourself? Evans. Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray Mrs. Ford. Why, none but mine own you, mark : genitivo, hujus. Well, what is people. your accusative case ?
Mrs. Page. Indeed ! Will. Accusativo, hinc.
Mrs. Ford. No, certainly. (Aside to her] Evans. I pray you, have your remembrance, Speak louder. child ; accusativo, hung, hang, hog.
Mrs. Page. Truly, I am so glad you have Quick. 'Hang-hog'is Latin for bacon, I nobody here. warrant you.
51 Mrs. Ford. Why? Evans. Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What Mrs. Page. Why, woman, your husband is is the focative case, William ?
in his old lunes again : he so takes on yonder Will. 0,-vocativo, O.
with my husband ; so rails against all married Evans. Remember, William ; focative is mankind ; so curses all Eve's danghters, of daret.
what complexion soever ; and so buffets him