for sayin' something aboot the flag o' his pleesur yatt-and was for finin' and imprisonin' folk for some folly o' theirs aboot some folly o' his, somehoo or ither conneckit wi' the threecolore, and the Cherburgh rods, and the Tyne Louisa, and the Newcastle colliers, and some nonsense about depopulation o' a village, and breakin' doon some rails in the Isle o' Wight, and compromiseen some act, by payin' the law expenses, and makin' affidavits aboot falsehoods, and NORTH. It was and I am only astonished, James, at your retaining so distinct a recollection of so many pitiable exposures made of himself by the Champion and Guardian of the Liberty of the Press. SHEPHERD. Whether, sir, did you admire maist the Grey Festival here in Embro, or the Durham Demonstration yonner in Glasgow ? For your opinion? Hem. Pray, Kit, what was demonstrated by the Durham Demonstration? That the stomachs of the Glasgow radicals revolt from wine. Was that a'? NORTH. SHEPHERD. NORTH, Not all but the most important point, established by the plainest proofs. SHEPHERD. I could hae telt that before-haun'; for wine's waur nor wersh in the mooth to workmen, either in toon or. kintra;-and forbye bein' waur nor wersh in the mooth, it's sickening to the stammach, and it's irritatin' to the temper, and gars folk throw up ither things in folk's faces than mere indigested political maitters. I've seen that happen even among Taries in the Forest, and we never thocht o' ca'in't by ony ither than the ordinar' idiomatic name; but noo we shall adopt that grand-soundin' descriptive phraseology-Durham Demonstration. TICKLER. Your justification of the Glasgow Radicals is as complete, James, as your justification of the Edinburgh Whigs. SHEPHERD. It's founded, sir, on the same constitutional principles-and in baith cases the chief blame lies at the door o' the fresh air. Fifeteen hunder men o' the hunder and fifety thoosan'-I like roun' nummers-to whose care and custody Lord Durham said he was willing to intrust his property and his life, (I wunner how mony years' purchase they wou'd in that case be worth,) comin' frae the caller air o' the open Green intill the foul air o' the closebox o' the Pavilion, and sookin' port, cou'd na be expeckit to get wi' impunity to the dregs at the bottom o' the bottle. But the Men o' the Wast are a strang generation, and no sune cowpit-sae they kept their seats in spite o' the soomin' roun' o' the wa's-and a' attempts o' the seats theirsells to steal a march oot frae beneath them-and opened their mouths for a public Durham Demonstration on a great scale. They made, in fack, a virtue o' necessity; and as it is wrang to hide your talent under a napkin, they exhibited the fruits o' theirs on the table. They were determined, sirs, that every thing should be aboon boordand disdainin' to keep down their risin' emotions, to mak a clean briest. In this way, it may be said, by a metonymy TICKLER. A metonymy! SHEPHERD. that they discharged their consciences, and were entitled, with as good a grace as Lord Brougham, to hauld them up and exclaim, "These hands are clean." NORTH. It must have been a proud sight for the wives and daughters of the Demonstrators, and that anonymous class of ladies whom the Gander alluded to, as dearer even than wives and daughters- Wha are they? SHEPHERD, NORTH. He best knows. I should have felt for Lord Durham at the shockingly insulting stop put to his return of thanks on an occasion on which I verily believe no man was ever so interrupted before-not even at a supper after the Beggars' Opera in Poossie Nancy's-had he not had the ineffable baseness to exclaim, "That comes from a Tory-there's an enemy in the camp." It required no readiness to improvise such a foolish falsehoodand he must have been ashamed of himself for venting it, when, sick of the scene, he retired from the Pavilion, in vain attempting to pick his steps among the disjecta membra of the Durham Demonstration, that had for hours been oozing through the joints of the deal-tables, till they adorned the floor. Lord Grey exultingly asked the wise men of the East, if any symptoms of reaction were visible in that magnificent show; Lord Brougham told them, that he had been all over the North, and could assure them that there were none visible to the naked eye, on hill or dale; and to crown all, Lord Durham-with the most extraordinary symptoms of reaction before him ever disclosed to the human senses-declared there was none in the West; and yet these three very Lords were all the while at loggerheads and daggers-drawing, about men and measures-and two of them-the learned Lord and the unlearned Lord-objects of mutual hatred-that feeling in the one being mitigated by contempt, and in the other exaspe rated by envy. TICKLER. Brougham insidiously ousts Grey, and Grey indignantly cuts Brougham. NORTH. Brougham sneeringly glances at Durham, and Durham savagely growls at Brougham. TICKLER. Brougham accuses Durham of clipping and paring the Bill of Reform. NORTH. And Durham-had his father-in-law not told him that only bad boys broke oaths and told lies-would have accused Brougham of proposing to castrate it. TICKLER. And after all this vulgar bickering, at once anile and childish, we are told the nation is unanimous. NORTH. And a Whig-Rad government the object of its holy reverence and undying love! SHEPHERD. What wou'd the warld say if we three cast oot in that gate? NORTH. Easier far for a new set of men to carry on the government than the. Noctes Ambrosianæ. SHEPHERD. That's just what the world wou'd say gin it heard on the same day that the Whig government and the Tory magazine had been baith dissolved. Mr AMBROSE (entering in full tail, and looking into his hat in hand). I have this moment, sir, received by express-a single copy of the Sun newspaper and I have the honour and happiness of being the first to announce to Mr North-that the Melbourne ministry is dissolved-and that his Majesty-has-been that his Majesty-has-been-graciously pleased to intrust his Grace the Duke of Wellington-with the formation of a Conservative Govern ment. [Exeunt AMBROSE and Tail, with a bow and a wag. I was just opening my mouth to predict the doonfa' o' the Whiggamores, when in cam the express! TICKLER. A prophet should never sit with his mouth open, for more than five minutes at a time, on the eve of an intended prediction; for "when great events are on the gale," one of them may fly, as it did now, into the aperture, to the discredit of the craft. SHEPHERD. Did na I see the conflagration o' baith Houses o' Parliament foretokened in the ribbs at Tibbie's? You certainly did, James. TICKLER. SHEPHERD. A King's messenger came for me frae Lunnon to tak me up for examination before the Preevy Cooncil; but I kent better than to gang; for the black ggemm were packin', and by firin' out o' the study-wundow, I cou'd murder a dizzen at ae discharge. TICKLER. O, thou Murderer and Incendiary! SHEPHERD. Sae I enticed the Cockney to tak a look at the grey-mare's tail, on our way to Moffat for the mail-cotch, and while he was glowerin' at the water preevilege as the Americans ca't-I slippet intil yon cozey cave, kent but to the Covenanters o' auld, and noo but to the shepperds-and left him sair perplexed to think that he had been apprehending a speerit. **** TICKLER. I trust, James, you had no hand in the fire? SHEPHERD. I shanna say. It seems rather tyrannical in a Whig Preevy Cooncil to send doon an offisher a' the way to the Forest to apprehend the Shepperd, for hain' the Second Sicht. But they hae met wi' their punishment. They're oot. TICKLER. Such events are seldom attributed at the time to the true causes-and ages may elapse before another D'Israeli, in the course of his indefatigable researches, discover that it was the Etterick Shepherd who overthrew this brazen-faced Dagon with leathern body and feet of clay. SHEPHERD. Unless Girnney let the cat oot o' the bag. SMALL THIN VOICE. Hip-hip-hip-hurra! hurra! hurra! SHEPHERD. Only look, Mr Tickler, at North! lyin' back on his chair-wi' shut een -that thoughtfu' face o' his calm as a cloud-wi' his hauns faulded on his briest-pressed palm to palm the fingers pintin' towards ye like the tips o' arrows-and the thoombs like javelins Wheesht! he's gaun till utter, མ་ ༥ NORTH There will be much brutal abuse of the King. The Whigs hated George the Good, and they had not hearts capable of disinheriting the Son, of the curses with which they clothed the Sire. That hatred was first transferred to George the Graceful; and then it hovered like a hornet round the head of William the Brave. Lured by the scent of prey, it flew off for a while-but now it will return, hot as hell, and settle, if it be not scared away, on the royal brow. Nay, the filthy fly will attempt the temples of the Queen, and its venomous sting will threaten veins translucent with purest and hallowed blood. SHEPHERD. Damn them-I beg my pardon-that was wrang-will they blackguard Queen Adelaide ? NORTH. What they did they will do again. SHEPHERD. The dowgs will return to their vomit, NORTH. The lowest of the Radicals will join in that charge-nor will the highest gainsay the ribaldry of the rabble-but like philosophers, as they all pretend to be, let human nature take its course. But the PEOPLE OF BRITAIN will not suffer the slander-and high up above the reach of foulest vapours, before their eyes will our Queen be seen shining like a star, SHEPHERD. God bless the people o' Britain! Wi' a' their fawtes-and they are great and mony-shaw me sic anither people on the face o' the yearth. NORTH. As for his Most Gracious Majesty he has been in fire before now-and our King, who never turned his head aside for hissing balls and bullets, will hold it erect on the Throne of the Three Kingdoms, as he did on the quarterdeck of a man-of-war, nor heed, if he hear, the vain hurtling of windy words. TICKLER. There is little loyalty in the land now, North. NORTH. Little-compared with that elevating virtue as it breathed in many mil lion bosoms some twenty or thirty years ago-but more than lives in the heart of any other people towards their chief magistrate-for that nowthough a somewhat cold-is the correct and accredited word. In other, and perhaps in nobler times, there was much in common between loyalty to a king, patriotism to a country, and the zeal of the martyrs of religion. SHEPHERD. I ca' that a true Holy Alliance. NORTH. But we must make the best of our own times; and every man do his utmost to uphold the powers and principles that constitute the strength of our national character. Enumerate, sir. SHEPHERD. NORTH. Not now. Our ideas and feelings of loyalty, however, we must not adopt from them who were last week his Majesty's ministers, nor from the double-faced, double tongued crew that will be seizing on their dismissal as an occasion for venting their rage against him whom, for four years, they have been hypocritically worshipping for their own base purposes, and incensing with perfumery that must have long stunk in the royal nostrils. TICKLER, The Modern Alfred! Alfred the Second! Faugh! let us speak as we feel of our king, in a spirit of truth. True loyalty scorns the hyperbole, and is sparing of figures of speech. To the patriot statesman, whom true loyalty inspires, history is no old almanack; for an old almanack is the deadest of all dead things and more useless than dust.. To him history is a record ever new-all its pages are instinct with life and its examples show the road to honour on earth, and happiness in heaven. Let us not fear to compare our King with his Peers. The place assigned him by posterity will be a high one; and among his many noble qualities will be reckoned scorn of sycophancy, and intolerance of falsehood. As long as his servants served him according to their oathin its spirit as well as its letter-he was willing to make sacrifice of some thoughts and feelings that to him were sacred, of some opinions so deeply rooted he could not change, though he could give them up-but as soon as he saw and knew that he must not only sacrifice feelings, and relinquish opinions, but violate his conscience, he exerted his prerogative-a prerogative bestowed by God-and called on that MAN, who had been the Saviour of his country, again to rescue her from danger-by the weight of his wisdom, and the grandeur of his name, to bear down her internal enemies, as, by his valour and his genius, he had crushed or scattered all foreign foes-so that the land, by a succession of bloodless, and, therefore, still more glorious victories, might again enjoy that liberty which consists in order and peace. SHEPHERD. You dinna fear, sir, I howp, that there will be ony very serious disturbances in the kintra, on account o' the change o' Ministry? NORTH. I think there will be a great deal of very ludicrous disturbances in the country, on account of the change of Ministry, and that the People will find it so difficult to assume a serious countenance, on the kicking out of the Whigs-if a kicking out it has been-that they will almost immediately give over trying it, and join in a good-humoured, yet perhaps a rather malicious peal of hearty laughter. SHEPHERD. That's a great relief to my mind. But are ye sure, sir, o' the Political Unions? NORTH. Quite sure. It is not improbable they may be revived in a small sort of way, but half-a-million of men will not march up to London from Birmingham, as about half-a-dozen men talked of their intending to do in the delirium of the Bill fever. SHEPHERD. It maun be a populous place that Brummagem, as the Bagmen ca't. NORTH. Very. For my own part, I rather liked the Whig government. Whatttt? SHEPHERD. NORTH. For it is an amiable weakness of mine to feel kindness towards any man or body of men whom I see the object of very general contempt or anger. No Ministry in my time was ever so unpopular-to use the gentlest term as the one t'other day turned to the right about-and as for my Lord Melbourne, though you, James, say you never heard of him -I know him to be one of the most amiable and accomplished men-and that is saying much in the Peerage. So that I am sorry that any Ministry, of which he was the head, should have been so universally despised when living, and so universally ridiculed when dead. SHEPHERD. That seems to me a new view o' the soobject. NORTH. However, it is the true one. I am disposed to think they were not kicked out-but that they backed out, in a state of such weakness, that had there been any rubbish in the way, they would have fallen over it, and injured their organs of philoprogenetiveness and Number One. All the world has known for some time, that they intended to resign on the meet◄ |