My wife shall dance and I will sing,
So merrily pass the day;

For I hold it one of the wisest things
To drive dull care away.

THE POST CAPTAIN.

WHEN Steerwell heard me first impart
Our brave commander's story,
With ardent zeal his youthful heart-
Swell'd high for naval glory;
Resolv'd to gain a valiant name,
For bold adventures eager,

When first a little cabin-boy on board the Fame,
He would hold on the jigger.
While ten jolly tars with musical Joe,
Hove the anchor apeck, singing yeo, heave yeo,
yeo, yeo, yeo, yeo, yeo, heave yeo.

To hand top-ga'nt-sails next he learn'd,
With quickness, care, and spirit,
Whose generous master then discern'd,
And priz'd his dawning merit,
He taught him soon to reef and steer
When storms convuls'd the ocean,
Where shoals made skilfull vet'rans fear,
Which mark'd him for promotion.

As none to the pilot e'er answer'd like he,

When he gave the command hard a port, helm a lee,

Luff, boy, luff, keep her near,

Clear the buoy, make the pier,

None to the pilot answer'd like he,

When he gave the command in the pool or at sea, Hard aport helm a lee.

For valour, skill, and worth renown'd,

The foe he oft defeated;

१

And now with fame and fortune crown'd,
Post captain he is rated:

Who, should our injur'd country bleed,
Still bravely would defend her;
Now blest with peace, if beauty plead,
He'll prove his heart as tender.
Unaw'd, yet mild, to high and low,
Το poor and wealthy, friend or foe,
Wounded tars share his wealth,
All the fleet drink his health,

Priz'd be such hearts, for aloft they will go,
Which always are ready compassion to shew,
To a brave conquer'd foe.

YE GENTLEMEN OF ENGLAND...

YE gentlemen of England, who live at home at

ease,

Ah! little do you think on the dangers of the seas, Give ear unto the mariners, and they will plainly shew

All the cares
And the fears,

When the stormy winds do blow.

In claps of roaring thunder, which darkness do enforce,

We often find our ships to stray beyond our wonted

course,

Which causeth great destruction, and sinks our hearts full low,

'Tis in vain

To complain,

When the stormy winds do blow.

If enemies oppose us, when England is at war
With any foreign nation, we fear no wound or scar;,
Our roaring guns shall teach them our valor for to

know,

Whilst they reel
On the keel,

When the stormy winds do blow.

Then courage all brave mariners, and never be. afraid,

While we have bold adventurers we ne'er shall

A SENSIBLE MADMAN.

A LORD, whom his friends had been obliged to put in a private mad-house, was not mad enough to remain insensible to the charms of the keeper's pretty daughter. His lordship, encouraged in his addresses, agreed to marry her. The day was fixed, the banns published, and they left the madhouse in a coach, to have the ceremony performed. When arrived in the church, his lordship very properly led the lady to the altar; and the clergyman began the ceremony, saying to his lordship, "do you take this woman for your wedded wife ?" Upon which he exclaim'd, "No, no, not so mad as that, neither!" then, taking to his heels, ran out of the church, and was not found for a considerable time afterwards.

MATRIMONY.

"CRIES Nell to Tom," midst matrimonial strife. "Curs'd be the hour I first became your wife,"

"By all the powers," said Tom, "but that's too bad,

"You've curs'd the only civil hour we've had."

EPITAPHS.

AT three-score winter's end I died
A cheerless being, sole and sad,
The nuptial knot I never tied,
And wish my father never had.

TO THE MEMORY OF

MARGARET PATIENCE,

Who, to the inexpressible regret of her husband, John
Fretful, departed this life at the advanced age of 46.

My wife beneath this stone I dearly love,
Though oft I beat and bruis'd her while above.
Indeed, my Meg, l'ad always loved thee so,
Had'st thou but died some 20 years ago.

ON A MISER.

They call thee rich, I deem thee poor,
Since if thou dar'st not use thy store,
But sav'st it only for thine heirs
The treasure is not thine but theirs.

LIFE.

The following inscription is to be found in the church-yard of Longtown.

Our life is but a winter's day;

Some only breakfast and away.

Others to dinner stay, and are full fed;

The oldest man but sups and goes to bed.
Large is his debt who lingers out the day;
Who goes the soonest, has the least to pay.

TOM'S SPOUSE.

TOM's fruitful spouse bestow'd a yearly child,
And he was happy whilst the bantlings smil'd;
Three years ago he join'd a martial band,
And sought for laurels in a distant land;
Yet such the force of habit, Nell, they say,
Still has her yearly child, though Tom's away.

ON SIR JOHN HILL.

Por physic and farces,
His equal there scarce is;
His farces are physic,
His physic a farce is!

LAW AGAINST RAVISHERS.

"If any man take a woman," says one law of the Isle of Man, "by constraint, or force her against her will, if she be a wife, he must suffer the law for her: if she be a maid or single woman, the deemster or judge shall give her a rope, a sword, and a ring; and she shall have her choice, either to hang him with the rope, cut off his head with the sword, or marry him with the ring. Report says, that every complainant has been lenient except one, who presented the rope, but relented on the prisoner being tucked up, and desired he might be let down. She then presented the ring, but the prisoner replied, "That one punishment was enough for one crime; therefore he should keep the ring for some future occasion."