My wife shall dance and I will sing, For I hold it one of the wisest things THE POST CAPTAIN. WHEN Steerwell heard me first impart When first a little cabin-boy on board the Fame, To hand top-ga'nt-sails next he learn'd, As none to the pilot e'er answer'd like he, When he gave the command hard a port, helm a lee, Luff, boy, luff, keep her near, Clear the buoy, make the pier, None to the pilot answer'd like he, When he gave the command in the pool or at sea, Hard aport helm a lee. For valour, skill, and worth renown'd, The foe he oft defeated; १ And now with fame and fortune crown'd, Who, should our injur'd country bleed, Priz'd be such hearts, for aloft they will go, YE GENTLEMEN OF ENGLAND... YE gentlemen of England, who live at home at ease, Ah! little do you think on the dangers of the seas, Give ear unto the mariners, and they will plainly shew All the cares When the stormy winds do blow. In claps of roaring thunder, which darkness do enforce, We often find our ships to stray beyond our wonted course, Which causeth great destruction, and sinks our hearts full low, 'Tis in vain To complain, When the stormy winds do blow. If enemies oppose us, when England is at war know, Whilst they reel When the stormy winds do blow. Then courage all brave mariners, and never be. afraid, While we have bold adventurers we ne'er shall A SENSIBLE MADMAN. A LORD, whom his friends had been obliged to put in a private mad-house, was not mad enough to remain insensible to the charms of the keeper's pretty daughter. His lordship, encouraged in his addresses, agreed to marry her. The day was fixed, the banns published, and they left the madhouse in a coach, to have the ceremony performed. When arrived in the church, his lordship very properly led the lady to the altar; and the clergyman began the ceremony, saying to his lordship, "do you take this woman for your wedded wife ?" Upon which he exclaim'd, "No, no, not so mad as that, neither!" then, taking to his heels, ran out of the church, and was not found for a considerable time afterwards. MATRIMONY. "CRIES Nell to Tom," midst matrimonial strife. "Curs'd be the hour I first became your wife," "By all the powers," said Tom, "but that's too bad, "You've curs'd the only civil hour we've had." EPITAPHS. AT three-score winter's end I died TO THE MEMORY OF MARGARET PATIENCE, Who, to the inexpressible regret of her husband, John My wife beneath this stone I dearly love, ON A MISER. They call thee rich, I deem thee poor, LIFE. The following inscription is to be found in the church-yard of Longtown. Our life is but a winter's day; Some only breakfast and away. Others to dinner stay, and are full fed; The oldest man but sups and goes to bed. TOM'S SPOUSE. TOM's fruitful spouse bestow'd a yearly child, ON SIR JOHN HILL. Por physic and farces, LAW AGAINST RAVISHERS. "If any man take a woman," says one law of the Isle of Man, "by constraint, or force her against her will, if she be a wife, he must suffer the law for her: if she be a maid or single woman, the deemster or judge shall give her a rope, a sword, and a ring; and she shall have her choice, either to hang him with the rope, cut off his head with the sword, or marry him with the ring. Report says, that every complainant has been lenient except one, who presented the rope, but relented on the prisoner being tucked up, and desired he might be let down. She then presented the ring, but the prisoner replied, "That one punishment was enough for one crime; therefore he should keep the ring for some future occasion." |